Jon Jokes
101 jon jokes and hilarious jon puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jon that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Jon Short Jokes
Short jon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jon humour may include short carter jokes also.
- On meeting Donald Trump, Kim Jon Un says I will destroy America... Trump replies, No way, that's my job. I won't have another asian stealing an American job.
- My girl friend likes to FaceTime me when she's taking a pee. I don't think that's what Steve Jons had in mind when he was talking about live streaming.
- What did Hannibal Lector have for breakfast? Kevin Bacon.
...
And Jon Hamm.
^^I'll ^^show ^^myself ^^out. - Jon Snows going to feel itchy during the GOT season finale! What else would you expect with aunts in your pants?
- Exactly 10 years ago my pal Jon came running out shouting it's a boy with tears streaming down his face... We never went back to Thailand
- Is Jon Stewart the Last Airbender? Because just when the world needed him most, he vanished.
- [GOT SPOILER] Why shouldn't you ask Jon Snow what time it is? Because his watch has ended.
- What would it mean to you to beat Jon this evening? It would be like… finding a fiver in an old coat.
- If I ever become famous, I'm gonna kiss another guy publicly just to remove homophones from my fan base. John and Jon, that means you.
- At geography class Little Jon is at school reading his geography book in class. The teacher tries to surprise him:
- Where's England, Jon?
He proudly answers:
- Page 83.
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Jon One Liners
Which jon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jon? I can suggest the ones about john and maul.
- Why did Jon Snow stand in line for 6 hours at the Apple Store? For the watch
- Why is Jon Snow so ticklish? Aunts in his pants...
- What did Kim Jon Un say when his father died? Looks like his Korea is over
- Who will replace Kim Jon Un after he dies Kim Jon dos
- Kim Jon Un is reported to be sick. He is now Kim Jong Ill.
- What's Jon Snow's favorite children's book? Where The Wildlings Are
- What does Jon Snow do when he gets cold? He snuggles up to da-near-es Targaryen.
- Why did ygritte break up with Jon Snow? She didn't want six inches of snow all year long.
- Why did Jon Snow go to The Apple Store? For the Watch.
- Why did Jon snow wait outside he Apple Store for 3 days? For the watch
- What is similar between Jon Snow and The Night King? They have both speared a dragon.
- What's the crunkest place to go to the bathroom? The Little Jon.
- Which two musicians are famous for saying, "What?" Lil' Jon and Beethoven.
- What rhymes with Jon Snow? He doesn't know.
,
Sorry for the lame joke, just made it up. - What did Jon Bon Jovi do when his swimwear froze? He made it icewear.
Lil Jon Jokes
Here is a list of funny lil jon jokes and even better lil jon puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do Beethoven and the hiphop artist Lil'Jon have in common? What?!
- What did Lil' Jon do when Home Depot employee tried to sell him a lightbulb? Turned down 4 watt
- What is Lil Jon's favorite bird? the paraskeet
- What's Lil' Jon's favourite sport? CROQUET!
- What is Lil Jon's favorite flavor of BBQ? Mesquite squite squite.
...Forgive me I'm freshly smoked. - What's Lil' Jon's favorite state? Oklahoma
- If Lil Jon went to college, where would he go? Yale
- Where's the most crunk spot to go to the bathroom? The Lil Jon.
- What university did Lil Jon go to? YAAAAAAAAALE
- What does Lil Jon see when he stares at the sun? Spots spots spots spots spots spots!
Spots spots spots spots spots!
Spots spots spots spots spots!
Jon Stewart Jokes
Here is a list of funny jon stewart jokes and even better jon stewart puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- First Jon Stewart retires, then Brian Williams gets suspended. What's happening to fake news?
- How does Jon Stewart make his potions? Hebrews them.
- Watching Jon Stewart Feb. 4th t**...-accino, Jon really? It was right there in front of you!!!
Hilarious Jon Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about jon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cabin jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jon pranks.
Jon was excited about his new rifle..
... and wanted to try it out, so he went bear hunting. He spotted a small black bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder and he turned round to see a larger black bear. The black bear said "You've got two choices, I either maul you to death or we have s**...." Jon decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Jon soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip, found the black bear, and shot it. Immediately, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a big brown bear stood right next to him. The brown bear said, "That was a huge mistake, Jon. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough s**...." Again, Jon thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it was several months before Jon finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the brown bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned round to find a gigantic grizzly bear standing there. The grizzly bear said "Admit it, Jon, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
TIL after his show on Netflix was cancelled, Jon Bernthal was forced to take a job as a doorman in a theatre who would occasionally warm up the audience with dad jokes
He became widely known as the pun usher.
Donald Trump is the most unifying voice in American politics.
When was the last time Barack Obama, Paul Ryan, Jon Stewart, Glenn Beck, Bernie Sanders, George Bush, Elizabeth Warren, Mitt Romney, Bill Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Al Gore, John McCain, and Hillary Clinton all agreed on anything?
I drank so much I blew Chunks
Jon : Oh Ted, I had a terrible night. I drank so much that when I got home, I blew chunks.
Ted: Hey, thats not so bad. At least you were in the comfort of your own home.
Jon: No, you dont understand. Chunks is my dog...
[Spoiler] In Game of Thrones, what is Jon and Dany's favorite s**... position?
Lannister style
So I would like make a joke about Jon and Daenerys...
... But I won't i**... on it.
I met Jon Snow the squirrel the other day
He knows nutting.
Why did Jon Snow go to the Rolex store?
For the watch
I work as a mortician, and recently had a case of an unidentified m**... victim who was killed in a bakery
I had to mark him down as a Jon dough.in the file.
Listen to Mom!
Jim: Sometimes I wish I had listened to my mother's advice.
Jon: What did she say?
Jim: I dunno. I never listened!
My skateboarding career and Jon Snow have a lot in common.
They both ended with an Ollie.
Jon Bon Jovi was inducted into the Rock hall of fame
I asked him, "aren't you disappointed and ashamed you aren't in the more prestigious Rock & ***Roll*** hall of fame?"
He said "Woah, we're halfway there".
[GoT Spoiler] Olly really wanted to know how..
Jon came back from the dead, but instead, Jon just left him hanging.
Why did Jon Snow need a new battery?
For the watch.
What do you call a North Korean who isn't sure what to say?
Kim Jon Um...
I just discovered that I can play as Jon Snow on This War of Mine...
So far my weapon of choice has been the "crowbar."
Sara: I've been feeling dead inside for many months now
Jon: maybe it's because you've been carrying a dead fetus for 11 months now
What's the difference between acne and priests?
Acne waits for boys to turn 14 before they come on their faces.
Was watching Ray Donovan and Jon Voight's character said something like this.
Game of thrones finale joke. Spoiler.
Poor Jon snow. But it must have been a nice watch.
Have you heard about Edward Snowden's brother Jon Snowden?
He knows nothing...
How did Robin Hood not impregnate maid Marion?
With his little Jon...
Who is the best joke teller?
Kim Jon Un, he gets his whole nation laugh whenever he wants.
Did you hear about Jon Snow dropping his new Apple product?
And now his watch has ended.
What does Jon Snow think of s**...?
It's a bit of an Auntie-c**....
Why was Jon Snow itchy?
He had aunts in his pants
How is Jon Snow like an aardvark?
They're both a(u)nt-eaters.
What is Jon Bellions most favourite chocolate bar of all time?
Rolo.....
Rolo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, Rolo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo, lo!
Miss Reed asks Little Rickie: If I say I love chocolate, what's the verb little Rickie? ...
-.. the verb is love, Miss ..
- Very Good . Now if I say : Jon arrived , what is the object , little Tim ? ..
The object is arrived, Miss ...
Well done, little Tim. Now if I say :Jane moans from pleasure , what's the subject little Johnny? ...
- The subject is doing her, Miss
(Spoilers) Why cant Jon Snow sit still?
He has aunts in his pants,
What's Jon Snow's favourite James Brown song?
I've Got Aunts in my Pants.
How did Jon Arbuckle's dog die?
He OD'd :/
If Jon snow had a dvd rental place
Would it be a blockbastard?
Jon Snow Was Westeros' Origin Yesman
He nos nothing.
Why didn't the Knight show up in time to help Jon Snow?
Something was wrong with the Knights Watch
What do you call a rock star who always wears a waterproof coat?
Jon Poncho Vee
What do Glenn Rhee, Jon Snow, and the Terminator have in common?
They'll be back.
Why was Ygritte happy she didn't marry Jon snow?
Because she didn't want six inches of snow all year long.
You know something, Jon Snow
Lord Commander: "So, Jon Snow, is it true you have lain with a Wildling girl?"
Jon Snow: "Yes, sir, it is true. But I have no Ygrittes."
A couple are having trouble with their marriage...
Wife: We used to have something special Jon! Something rare and precious! What happened to that?
Husband: You spent it all dear.
I am the Jon Snow of my class
I know nothing
Garfield and Jon Arbuckle draw rapiers
En Garfield
A new kid walks in.
The teacher calls out on him.
Teacher: Jon!
Kid: I go by my middle name.
Teacher: What's your middle name?
Kid: D
Teacher: So Big D or Little D?
Kid: Missing D.
What did Ygritte tell Jon Snow after they had s**... in the cave?
You know nuttin', Jon Snow
Which nation does Kim Jon Un hates the most?
Examination
Jon Snow could simply write his name as Trgryen
because Aegon Targaryen
What do they call Jon Snow's giant emergency in Germany?
Nein Wun Wun.
