Joking Jokes
117 joking jokes and hilarious joking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about joking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the best joking jokes and banters to have a good time. This article offers a wide range of lighthearted and funny jokes that will tickle your funny bone and make any situation more entertaining. Learn how to joke like a pro, and never worry about hayfever again!
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Funniest Joking Short Jokes
Short joking jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The joking humour may include short kidding jokes also.
- Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings? Because it's always too soon.
^(i feel bad) - COVID-19 is not a joke and should be taken seriously A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.
- Joke from my 12 year old why do you never see elephants hiding in tree? Because they're so good at it!
Please don't ban me - Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands
You really should upvote this joke because it never gets old - Where do little jokes come from? Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.
- My friends laughed at me when I told them I had a hot date and they said she was imaginary...
Well the jokes on them – they're imaginary too... - Having homosexual parents must be terrible Either you have double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in cycle of go ask your mom
- As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way, I think to myself... maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
- The problem with Trump jokes: Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.
- Wife was breastfeeding Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in
Me: yeah he is really milking it
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Joking One Liners
Which joking one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with joking? I can suggest the ones about poking fun and mocking.
- What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark? A chicken.
- I never understood school shooting jokes I guess they're aimed at a younger audience...
- Did you know that Stephen King has a son named joe? I'm not joking, but he is
- r/Jokes Has 19 Million subscribers! It's amazing what 7 jokes can do
- Nobody will upvote a cake joke on my cake day. Feeling desserted.
- Alright guys, the Suez Canal jokes are getting a bit old now. That ship has sailed.
- Want to hear a joke about construction? Sorry, I'm still working on it.
- Your mum is so slow It took her 9 months to come up with a good joke
- Does anyone remember the joke I made about the Chiropractor? It was about a weak back.
- I tell dad jokes all the time even though I'm not actually a dad I'm a faux pa.
- Nobody will upvote a cake joke in my birthday I feel desserted
- nobody seems to upvote a cake joke on cakeday anymore Feeling desserted
- Screw that clown from IT. Always joking around when he should be fixing my computer.
- Two countries go to war... Ones president is a comedian, and the other is a joke.
- I know several jokes in sign language I guarantee nobody has ever heard them.
Joking Hazard Jokes
Here is a list of funny joking hazard jokes and even better joking hazard puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- People really find it hard to s**... some of the jokes in this sub. Just trying to raise awareness of joking hazard
Just Joking Jokes
Here is a list of funny just joking jokes and even better just joking puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I like my women like I like my whiskey. 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Disclaimer: This is just a joke, i do not condone the practice of mixing whiskey with coke. - How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They're afraid of change- even if it makes the world a brighter place.
( - Every morning at breakfast for the past 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I'm going for a jog, and then I don't. It's my longest running joke of the year.
- My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?" "Whatever means necessary," she replied.
"No it doesn't," I said. - Since this is the first year that I've remembered my cake day, here's my four year old's favorite joke. What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here. I'll go on ahead.
- I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin. The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
- Every "yo momma" joke has been done thousands of times, by thousands of different people. Kinda like yo momma.
- How do you buy a kitten when the pet store is closed? (Joke from my 10 yr old) You order it from the Cat-alogue
- I don't understand all these jokes about mothers-in-law. Mine is sweet, supportive, and a great influence on me and my wife. I can't say anything bad about her.
- These Bowling Green Massacre jokes are too soon Out of respect, we should at least wait until it takes place.
Comical Joking Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about joking you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean humorous jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make joking pranks.
Two pilots were accused of s**... harassment.
HR said a female pilot complained about the way they were joking and saying cockpit during the flight. Looking relieved they both got up to leave. HR quickly asks where there going when one pilots says "we don't have a problem, we'll apologize, and we'll never use the term cockpit again. That was totally insensitive of us. From here on out we'll just call it a sky box."
My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees. I thought she was joking...
and then I saw her face...
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister...
Are skinny dipping in the forest one day. Joking and talking philosophy and such. Suddenly they hear a large group of locals walking down the path toward them. To their dismay, they realized that they left their clothes hanging on branches on the other side of the path and would have to run past everyone to get them.
The minister gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the oncoming people to get his clothes.
The priest, in turn, gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the people to his clothes.
Finally the rabbi gets out of the water, covers his face and runs as fast as they can to his clothes.
As they dress the priest turns to the rabbi and asks,
"Why did you cover your face and not your g**...?"
"Well I don't know about you guys, but in my congregation they know me by my face."
What did little no armed Jimmy get for Christmas?
Gloves!
Haha I'm joking. He hasn't opened it yet.
I thought the wife was joking...
...when she said she wanted to go to Switzerland for a Monkees concert.
Then I saw her face...now I'm in Geneva
The police came to my house earlier and said my dog had chased someone on a bike...
I said, "You must be joking, officer. My dog doesn't have a bike!"
Doing it the Jewish way
A man goes to the door of a cathouse and asks the madam if any of the girls know how to do it the Jewish way. The madam thinks he is joking and slams the door in his face. This happens several times, until finally a girl overhears him, askin the madam, says, "Wait a minute, I've never tried it the Jewish way. I'll do it for nothing." The man says "See, you're catching on already!"
A huge mistake
I made the terrible mistake of joking about my girlfriend's weight. I just know she'll hold it against me forever. Elephants never forget.
The police came to my house earlier and said my dog has chased someone on a bike.
I said, "You must be joking. My dog hasn't got a bike."
*(Reposted because I completely messed up the punchline in the original post, and have only just realised.)*
My girlfriend told me she was pregnant
Me: You gotta be joking!
Her: No, I'm serious!
Me: Hi, Serious! I'm dad.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas
Gloves. Only joking he's not opened his presents yet.
I thought my roommate was joking when he said Gary Oldman was in the Harry Potter movies.
He was dead Sirius.
"Son, I wanted to let you know you were adopted," my dad told me.
"Really? You're joking, right?" I asked my dad.
"No I'm not", he said. "Pack your bags , they're going to be picking you up in an hour."
How can you tell when a German is joking?
Don't worry, he will inform you after delivery of the punchline has taken place.
Just a joke!
The other day, my friend said that he thinks that I might have Asperger's Syndrome.
I couldn't tell if he was joking, or being serious, or happy, or sad, or angry, or frightened, or...
My wife said she would leave me if I didn't stop using Monkee's song references.
I thought she was joking.
Then I saw her face...
You know, I thought they were joking when they told me about the clowns.
But then I saw them debating on national TV.
My Girlfriend always says I never know when to quit joking, and to that I say...
"GOT YOUR NOSE"
A black guys walks into a bank...
... says "I'm looking for a job!"
The bank manager says, "Well, you're in luck! We have a position opening tomorrow that pays $48,000 a year and has access to a free car!"
The black guy says "You're joking."
The bank manager says "Well, you started it!"
Boy: My mother's name is Laughing and my father's name is Smiling.
Teacher: You must be Kidding.
Boy: No, that's my sister's name, I'm Joking.
Teacher: What are your parents' names?
Boy: My dad's name is laughing and my mum's name is smiling.
Teacher: You must be kidding!
Boy: Nope, I am joking.
I have a massive crush on a world leader, my wife thinks I'm joking...
...but it's Trudeau
At Restaurant
WAITER: Are you done?
ME: No, I'm Dave
WAITER: Are you joking?
ME: \*grabs his shirt\* NO, I TOLD YOU I'M DAVE
I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...
He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.
I told my wife I was going to do stand-up comedy
She said, "You're joking"
I said, "I told you I was good"
My girlfriend told me if I didn't stop singing "I'm a believer" by smash mouth she would dump me...
I thought she was joking
But then i saw her face
My girlfriend broke up with me today. I asked her why, and she said, "Because you're obsessed with The Monkees."
At first I thought she was joking, but then I saw her face.
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't quit my obsession with The Monkees. I thought she was joking.
Then I saw her face.
The cop who said "We only kill Black people" said he was joking
"Mexicans are fair game too."
Newly wed 70-year old
Marty is with his fellow septuagenarian friends. During a thoughtful pause between all the joking and grousing he reveals that he and his new bride are having some issues with s**.... The friends had previously warned Marty that his bride-to-be only wanted him for his money and now they rallied around him.
"You lied by saying that you're only 50 years old. And now she's disappointed that you have s**... infrequently," ventured a friend.
"Yes, I lied," Marty confessed. "I said that I was 90 years old. And now she's upset that it's in frequently."
> mandatory: this is not mine; not OC
I jokingly told my friend I was collecting the corpses of past emperors of Russia and dumping them into a giant ravine, but he thought I was serious and asked what was wrong with me.
I guess he just doesn't understand tsar chasm.
Honey I'm not allowed back at work anymore...
Wife: why?
Man: I got fired for sleeping with the boss' wife.
Wife: Are you joking? His wife has been dead for 17 years.
Man: I'm also not allowed back at the cemetery.
My pregnant girlfriend is tired of me joking about giving her an abortion...
So I told her I'd cut it out.
I thought my date was joking when she told me she was obsessed with Monkees memorabilia.
Then I saw her place.
Hitlers s**...
One jewish man tells a joke to a woman, so he says:
"Why did h**... commit s**...?"
She said: "I don't know."
he replies:".... He saw the gas bill."
Then she said:"That's horrible! How could you say that!"
And he replies: "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be joking about the holocaust. My great grandfather died in concentration camp."
The girl replies: "I'm so sorry to hear that."
And he says: "Yeah, it's sad, he fell off the guard tower."
My parents don't understand my generation joking about committing s**... and said I wasn't allowed to...
Me: all my friends do it
Parents: if all you're friends jumped off a cliff would you do that too
Me: ok it's bad enough that you won't let me joke about it but you don't need to be a hypocrite
A father is waiting for his newborn child outside a hospital
A doctor comes out holding the child by the leg, and walks over to the man. The father asks: "Is it a girl or a boy?". But the doctor smashes the baby on the concrete wall, and the father faints. The father wakes up on a hospital bed in a room, and the doctor is staring at him with a grin. The doctor says: "Alright alright i was joking, the baby was dead before it was even born".
People need to stop joking about ligma, it's a distasteful joke and it really makes me sad...
Especially since my grandpa died of sucma
So this guy wants to ask this girl to the dance...
So he makes a poster and everything and asks her. She says yes. Later on, the guy goes over to the girls house to pick her up and the two drive to the dance together. They have fun laughing and joking and dancing and the guy asks if she can get her something to drink. She says yes and he goes to get some punch. He goes over to the punch bowl and finds that there is no punch line.
My wife threatened to leave me because I wouldnt stop singing "I'm a believer". I thought she was joking
And then I saw her face...
When my girlfriend told me that her fantasy was to be abducted, I thought she was joking.
But she demands to be taken, seriously!
Unfortunately my girlfriend left me recently because of my obsession with The Monkees. I thought she was joking.
And then I saw her face...
My dad told me he was a necrophiliac. I thought he was joking....
but, he was dead-f**... serious.
So my friend told me that any girl he dates has to know how to tightrope on heels, I thought he was joking but guess who he's dating now
No one
My wife told me to stop singing "I'm a believer" or she'd kill me. I thought she was joking...
...and then I saw her face...
Dad joking my way out the door.
As I was leaving the office today heading to a job I said to our receptionist "I'll be black later" to which she instantly replied with "I'll be white here"... I got to the door before it clicked.
My girlfriend keeps joking she's addicted to chocolate.
She eats it every chance she gets. I finally got so fed up that I took her downtown to see a homeless j**.... I pointed at him and said, Now that, see that? Why can't you be that skinny?
Can we stop joking about homosexuality?
Lesbie honest, the jokes aren't funny!
I've been expelled from school for calling out a class mate who was joking about black people.
Apparently, I shouldn't have called him a speciest.
I thought my girlfriend was joking when she said she had an abduction f**....
But she demands to be taken, seriously!
Joking about Kim jong uns death and corona are kind of the same. First we made memes about it....
....then we either ended up dead or locked inside
Just became friends with one of Stephen King's sons, Joe
I told a friend about it. They replied You're joking right?
And I said, No, but he is
Stephen King named his son Joe.
No, I'm not joking...
We went out on a date
Me: I slay werewolves for a living.
Date: Haha, always joking around. Anyway, I read that tweet you sent to me, it was so funny, I howled!
Me: *Unsheathing silver cutlass* You What??
How do you keep a skeleton from joking?
Take away his funny bone.
Dad- I want you to score 90% in exams.
Son- Dad, don't worry, I'll score 110%.
Dad- Stop joking.
Son- You started first.
Trump visits an elementary school
Trump visits an elementary school to greet the students and teachers. He asks the students, what do you all want to be when you grow up?
A farmer, shouts one.
An astronaut, shouts another.
The President of the United States, confidently says a little girl.
Who said that, shouts Trump. The little girl raises her hand and he darts eyes at her. He begins to fume, are you joking? Are you brainless? Are you a complete m**...? Are you s**...? Are you an idiot?
The little girl, taken aback, says, on second thought, nevermind! That sounds like too many requirements!
You all have heard about Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime.
But have you heard about his father who was Joking.
I really thought my wife was joking when she said she wanted to see a Monkees tribute band play in Switzerland.
And then I saw her face, now I'm in Geneva...
I thought my wife was joking when she said she'd leave me if I didn't stop singing I'm a Believer ...
Then I saw her face...
So I met a girl at the bar
Nothing really interesting about her. Her hair was on fire, yeah.
In my opinion she was really selfish. It was all about *her.*
"Help *me"*
"Put *me* out."
"*I'm* not joking *I'm* on fire."
"*I'm* dying."
I've decided to be completely serious for next few years
I'm not joking
My friends told me I don't really get comedy
I think they were joking
I know joking about Tom Cruise's height is low-hanging fruit...
but that's all he can reach.
I got kicked out of astronaut training for joking around too much in the underwater simulation course.
They said I didn't appreciate the gravity of the situation.
My friends say I have no sense of humour
I think they're joking
My mom had two conjoined sisters and both of their names were Andra. When they were murdered, I gave up joking.
And mourned my double entendres.
Three blondes are on a walk
While on this walk, they come across an interesting set of tracks. Taking interest in it, each of the girls have a guess as to what animal it could be.
The first blond said "I bet those are bear tracks", to which the other two scoff and say there were no bears around.
The second blond says "they might be raccoon tracks", but the others point out they have never seen raccoon tracks that big before.
The third one, joking, says "I bet those are elephant footprints" and they have a good laugh about it.
Then the train hit them.
My wife said if I mentioned Shrek one more time in bed she'd leave me. I thought she was joking
But then I saw her face
A Russian stand up comedian was joking about the Putin.
Jokes were good. I liked the execution.
So, I delivered a baby today...
Easily my weirdest day at FedEx.
I'm joking, of course.
I work for UPS.
A man in a pub asks for a beer.
A man in a pub asks for a beer.
The barman says, "Sure, that'll be one dollar."
"One dollar?" exclaims the man.
Reading the menu, he says, "Could I have steak and chips?"
"Certainly," says the barman, "that'll be two dollars."
"Two dollars?" cries the man.
"You're joking. Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The barman says, "Upstairs, with my wife".
The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The barman says, "The same thing I'm doing to his business."
You know how people were joking about 2021 sounding like 2020 won ?
Well, next year is 2020 too.
Only when that year is over will it finally be 2020 free.
I told my kids I wanted to be a trans-parent
They knew I was joking because they could see right through me
A man asks for v**... in a club(true story)
So I work at a nightclub and a guy approaches me and asks how much does a bottle of v**... cost, I replied with 80 euros.
The man then said "can I buy half a bottle for 40 euros" .
Me : no sir, but I can give it to you for free if you'd like.
Man : oh really! Are u joking!
Me : Yes, but you started it.
*That joke almost got me fired... but it was worth.
My wife wasn't joking.
I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn't stop singing I'm a believer but then I saw her face.
My wife was joking about her commute to our office in the back yard.
h**... boy this commute is going to be rough today she said as she opened the back door to walk 50 feet to the office
Yeah I heard there's a squirrel flipped over on the tree o five
Dad joked my 5 year old to annoyance
I: Did Mom tie your hair up like that to show you how your hair would be if cut short?
She: No, Mom just put my hair in a bun.
I: Is it a burger bun?
She: You know it's not!
I: It's a knot?
She: Aaargh. Stop joking!
When my wife threatened a divorce because of my obsession with the Shrek soundtrack, I thought she was joking.
But then I saw her face
