Joking Jokes
116 joking jokes and hilarious joking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about joking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the best joking jokes and banters to have a good time. This article offers a wide range of lighthearted and funny jokes that will tickle your funny bone and make any situation more entertaining. Learn how to joke like a pro, and never worry about hayfever again!
Funniest Joking Short Jokes
Short joking jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The joking humour may include short poking fun jokes also.
- Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings? Because it's always too soon.
^(i feel bad) - COVID-19 is not a joke and should be taken seriously A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.
- Joke from my 12 year old why do you never see elephants hiding in tree? Because they're so good at it!
Please don't ban me - Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands
You really should upvote this joke because it never gets old - Where do little jokes come from? Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.
- My friends laughed at me when I told them I had a hot date and they said she was imaginary...
Well the jokes on them – they're imaginary too... - As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way, I think to myself... maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
- The problem with Trump jokes: Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.
- Wife was breastfeeding Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in
Me: yeah he is really milking it
- I like my women like I like my whiskey. 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Disclaimer: This is just a joke, i do not condone the practice of mixing whiskey with coke.
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Joking One Liners
Which joking one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with joking? I can suggest the ones about mocking and humorous.
- What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark? A chicken.
- I never understood school shooting jokes I guess they're aimed at a younger audience...
- Did you know that Stephen King has a son named joe? I'm not joking, but he is
- r/Jokes Has 19 Million subscribers! It's amazing what 7 jokes can do
- Nobody will upvote a cake joke on my cake day. Feeling desserted.
- Alright guys, the Suez Canal jokes are getting a bit old now. That ship has sailed.
- Does anyone remember the joke I made about the Chiropractor? It was about a weak back.
- I tell dad jokes all the time even though I'm not actually a dad I'm a faux pa.
- Two countries go to war... Ones president is a comedian, and the other is a joke.
- I know several jokes in sign language I guarantee nobody has ever heard them.
- How much does Santa's sleigh cost? $0, it's on the house.
- What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA? Banned from of Seaworld
- My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes It was the end of my Korea
- how does every racist joke begin? ::looks over both shoulders.::
- What's the most common operation in a LEGO hospital? Plastic surgery.
Just Joking Jokes
Here is a list of funny just joking jokes and even better just joking puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Every morning at breakfast for the past 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I'm going for a jog, and then I don't. It's my longest running joke of the year.
- My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?" "Whatever means necessary," she replied.
"No it doesn't," I said. - Since this is the first year that I've remembered my cake day, here's my four year old's favorite joke. What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here. I'll go on ahead.
- I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin. The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
- How do you buy a kitten when the pet store is closed? (Joke from my 10 yr old) You order it from the Cat-alogue
- I don't understand all these jokes about mothers-in-law. Mine is sweet, supportive, and a great influence on me and my wife. I can't say anything bad about her.
- These Bowling Green Massacre jokes are too soon Out of respect, we should at least wait until it takes place.
- A joke from my 8 year old......Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same? 10+10=twenty
11+11=twenty too - Joke I made up: Caveman and a bear walk into a bar. Bartender says "what's your story?" Caveman says... Bear with me...
- Chuck Norris coronavirus joke Chuck Norris doesn't get Corona Virus.
Coronavirus gets Chuck Norris.
Comical Joking Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about joking you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pulling your leg jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make joking pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two pilots were accused of s**... harassment.
HR said a female pilot complained about the way they were joking and saying cockpit during the flight. Looking relieved they both got up to leave. HR quickly asks where there going when one pilots says "we don't have a problem, we'll apologize, and we'll never use the term cockpit again. That was totally insensitive of us. From here on out we'll just call it a sky box."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister...
Are skinny dipping in the forest one day. Joking and talking philosophy and such. Suddenly they hear a large group of locals walking down the path toward them. To their dismay, they realized that they left their clothes hanging on branches on the other side of the path and would have to run past everyone to get them.
The minister gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the oncoming people to get his clothes.
The priest, in turn, gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the people to his clothes.
Finally the rabbi gets out of the water, covers his face and runs as fast as they can to his clothes.
As they dress the priest turns to the rabbi and asks,
"Why did you cover your face and not your g**...?"
"Well I don't know about you guys, but in my congregation they know me by my face."
From John bishops only joking
Did you hear about the local blender company?
They went into liquidation
One I made on my own. I've been told it is worthy of submission.
My friend, the architect.
So the other day I was talking to my architect friend who was working on one of his houses. I asked him how it was going, and he said pretty well. He said the first two walls had been raised, and that they were working on the third. I looked around, but didn't see any more building materials, so I asked what about the fourth wall? He looked up and said, what? You must be joking!
Penny Pinching Dutchmen
Was joking with my neighbor about the Dutch being cheap. Told him the two Dutchmen fighting over a penny joke. He came back with this:
What's the difference between the US and yogurt?
If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Doing it the Jewish way
A man goes to the door of a cathouse and asks the madam if any of the girls know how to do it the Jewish way. The madam thinks he is joking and slams the door in his face. This happens several times, until finally a girl overhears him, askin the madam, says, "Wait a minute, I've never tried it the Jewish way. I'll do it for nothing." The man says "See, you're catching on already!"
A huge mistake
I made the terrible mistake of joking about my girlfriend's weight. I just know she'll hold it against me forever. Elephants never forget.
My girlfriend told me she was pregnant
Me: You gotta be joking!
Her: No, I'm serious!
Me: Hi, Serious! I'm dad.
I thought my roommate was joking when he said Gary Oldman was in the Harry Potter movies.
He was dead Sirius.
Sar-Chasm
(noun) When you're joking, but everyone thinks you're being serious, you've fallen into the sar-chasm.
A black guy walks into a convenience store...
And says, "I'm looking for a job."
The store owner replies, "You're in luck! We have an open position that pays $100,000 per a month!"
The black guy says, "You're joking."
The store owner says, "Well, you started it."
How can you tell when a German is joking?
Don't worry, he will inform you after delivery of the punchline has taken place.
Just a joke!
Doc, my leg bone is missing!
"You must be joking!"
"No doc, there's not a humerus bone in my body!'
The other day, my friend said that he thinks that I might have Asperger's Syndrome.
I couldn't tell if he was joking, or being serious, or happy, or sad, or angry, or frightened, or...
You know, I thought they were joking when they told me about the clowns.
But then I saw them debating on national TV.
People keep joking that they'd rather live on mars because of the election.
Last I checked, mars is a _red_ state...
My Girlfriend always says I never know when to quit joking, and to that I say...
"GOT YOUR NOSE"
A black guys walks into a bank...
... says "I'm looking for a job!"
The bank manager says, "Well, you're in luck! We have a position opening tomorrow that pays $48,000 a year and has access to a free car!"
The black guy says "You're joking."
The bank manager says "Well, you started it!"
Boy: My mother's name is Laughing and my father's name is Smiling.
Teacher: You must be Kidding.
Boy: No, that's my sister's name, I'm Joking.
Teacher: What are your parents' names?
Boy: My dad's name is laughing and my mum's name is smiling.
Teacher: You must be kidding!
Boy: Nope, I am joking.
I have a massive crush on a world leader, my wife thinks I'm joking...
...but it's Trudeau
At Restaurant
WAITER: Are you done?
ME: No, I'm Dave
WAITER: Are you joking?
ME: \*grabs his shirt\* NO, I TOLD YOU I'M DAVE
I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...
He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.
I told my wife I was going to do stand-up comedy
She said, "You're joking"
I said, "I told you I was good"
My mum said she would ground me if I sang any more Shrek songs. At first, I thought she was joking...
...but then I saw her face
My girlfriend broke up with me today. I asked her why, and she said, "Because you're obsessed with The Monkees."
At first I thought she was joking, but then I saw her face.
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't quit my obsession with The Monkees. I thought she was joking.
Then I saw her face.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Newly wed 70-year old
Marty is with his fellow septuagenarian friends. During a thoughtful pause between all the joking and grousing he reveals that he and his new bride are having some issues with s**.... The friends had previously warned Marty that his bride-to-be only wanted him for his money and now they rallied around him.
"You lied by saying that you're only 50 years old. And now she's disappointed that you have s**... infrequently," ventured a friend.
"Yes, I lied," Marty confessed. "I said that I was 90 years old. And now she's upset that it's in frequently."
> mandatory: this is not mine; not OC
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I jokingly told my friend I was collecting the corpses of past emperors of Russia and dumping them into a giant ravine, but he thought I was serious and asked what was wrong with me.
I guess he just doesn't understand tsar chasm.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Screw that clown from IT.
Always joking around when he should be fixing my computer.
Person 1: My dad's name is Laughing and my mom's name is Smiling.
Person 2: You must be kidding.
Person 1: No, that's my brother. I'm Joking.
Honey I'm not allowed back at work anymore...
Wife: why?
Man: I got fired for sleeping with the boss' wife.
Wife: Are you joking? His wife has been dead for 17 years.
Man: I'm also not allowed back at the cemetery.
"Mother, my girlfriend and I are going to have a baby! "
- "Are you joking?"
- "No ... I am John"
My pregnant girlfriend is tired of me joking about giving her an abortion...
So I told her I'd cut it out.
I jokingly told my dad I was getting a dolphin tattoo
He answered: "Oh, so I'm getting a dolphout."
(My dad, everyone... )
I love my drug dealer, but
him joking that he only has Pepsi then threatening to kill me five minutes later is getting old
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When The Boy Who Cried Wolf got a ham sandwich stuck in his t**..., why didn't anyone help him?
Because it looked like he was joking.
I thought my date was joking when she told me she was obsessed with Monkees memorabilia.
Then I saw her place.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hitlers s**...
One jewish man tells a joke to a woman, so he says:
"Why did h**... commit s**...?"
She said: "I don't know."
he replies:".... He saw the gas bill."
Then she said:"That's horrible! How could you say that!"
And he replies: "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be joking about the holocaust. My great grandfather died in concentration camp."
The girl replies: "I'm so sorry to hear that."
And he says: "Yeah, it's sad, he fell off the guard tower."
Many people think I'm joking when I tell them I'm a big star, back where I came from,
But I'm Sirius.
Trump was obviously joking when he said Space Force
He meant Strategic Defense Initiative Organization Again
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My parents don't understand my generation joking about committing s**... and said I wasn't allowed to...
Me: all my friends do it
Parents: if all you're friends jumped off a cliff would you do that too
Me: ok it's bad enough that you won't let me joke about it but you don't need to be a hypocrite
What is the opposite of "Joking"? I think it must be "Jokqueen".
Do you have any other opposite words?
People need to stop joking about ligma, it's a distasteful joke and it really makes me sad...
Especially since my grandpa died of sucma
So this guy wants to ask this girl to the dance...
So he makes a poster and everything and asks her. She says yes. Later on, the guy goes over to the girls house to pick her up and the two drive to the dance together. They have fun laughing and joking and dancing and the guy asks if she can get her something to drink. She says yes and he goes to get some punch. He goes over to the punch bowl and finds that there is no punch line.
My wife threatened to leave me because I wouldnt stop singing "I'm a believer". I thought she was joking
And then I saw her face...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day, my brother was watching a German stand up comedian.
He said, Wow, the Germans must be very funny . I replied They are? No wonder they chose h**..., they thought he was joking!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When my girlfriend told me that her fantasy was to be abducted, I thought she was joking.
But she demands to be taken, seriously!
My friends keep telling me I'm on the autism spectrum...
...I can never tell if they're joking or not.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My dad told me he was a necrophiliac. I thought he was joking....
but, he was dead-f**... serious.
So my friend told me that any girl he dates has to know how to tightrope on heels, I thought he was joking but guess who he's dating now
No one
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife told me to stop singing "I'm a believer" or she'd kill me. I thought she was joking...
...and then I saw her face...
I just realized why Joe Hill won't take his dad (Stephen King) last name...
because everyone would think he was Joking.
Dad joking my way out the door.
As I was leaving the office today heading to a job I said to our receptionist "I'll be black later" to which she instantly replied with "I'll be white here"... I got to the door before it clicked.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend keeps joking she's addicted to chocolate.
She eats it every chance she gets. I finally got so fed up that I took her downtown to see a homeless j**.... I pointed at him and said, Now that, see that? Why can't you be that skinny?
So I thought this was a good place for dad jokes...
Even though I said them in a joking manner no one found them funny
I've been expelled from school for calling out a class mate who was joking about black people.
Apparently, I shouldn't have called him a speciest.
Joking about Kim jong uns death and corona are kind of the same. First we made memes about it....
....then we either ended up dead or locked inside
Eurt ton spelled backwards is false
No, I was joking, it's not true
Just became friends with one of Stephen King's sons, Joe
I told a friend about it. They replied You're joking right?
And I said, No, but he is
How do you convince your boss that you wear pants to work?
I'm not joking. Please give me a serious answer because my job depends on it.
My wife says I need to stop singing songs from Shrek. At first I thought she was joking.
But then I saw her face
We went out on a date
Me: I slay werewolves for a living.
Date: Haha, always joking around. Anyway, I read that tweet you sent to me, it was so funny, I howled!
Me: *Unsheathing silver cutlass* You What??
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you keep a skeleton from joking?
Take away his funny bone.
Dad- I want you to score 90% in exams.
Son- Dad, don't worry, I'll score 110%.
Dad- Stop joking.
Son- You started first.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump visits an elementary school
Trump visits an elementary school to greet the students and teachers. He asks the students, what do you all want to be when you grow up?
A farmer, shouts one.
An astronaut, shouts another.
The President of the United States, confidently says a little girl.
Who said that, shouts Trump. The little girl raises her hand and he darts eyes at her. He begins to fume, are you joking? Are you brainless? Are you a complete m**...? Are you s**...? Are you an idiot?
The little girl, taken aback, says, on second thought, nevermind! That sounds like too many requirements!
You all have heard about Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime.
But have you heard about his father who was Joking.
I really thought my wife was joking when she said she wanted to see a Monkees tribute band play in Switzerland.
And then I saw her face, now I'm in Geneva...
So I met a girl at the bar
Nothing really interesting about her. Her hair was on fire, yeah.
In my opinion she was really selfish. It was all about *her.*
"Help *me"*
"Put *me* out."
"*I'm* not joking *I'm* on fire."
"*I'm* dying."
I've decided to be completely serious for next few years
I'm not joking
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I know joking about Tom Cruise's height is low-hanging fruit...
but that's all he can reach.
I got kicked out of astronaut training for joking around too much in the underwater simulation course.
They said I didn't appreciate the gravity of the situation.
My friends say I have no sense of humour
I think they're joking
My mom had two conjoined sisters and both of their names were Andra. When they were murdered, I gave up joking.
And mourned my double entendres.
Three blondes are on a walk
While on this walk, they come across an interesting set of tracks. Taking interest in it, each of the girls have a guess as to what animal it could be.
The first blond said "I bet those are bear tracks", to which the other two scoff and say there were no bears around.
The second blond says "they might be raccoon tracks", but the others point out they have never seen raccoon tracks that big before.
The third one, joking, says "I bet those are elephant footprints" and they have a good laugh about it.
Then the train hit them.
So, I delivered a baby today...
Easily my weirdest day at FedEx.
I'm joking, of course.
I work for UPS.
A man in a pub asks for a beer.
A man in a pub asks for a beer.
The barman says, "Sure, that'll be one dollar."
"One dollar?" exclaims the man.
Reading the menu, he says, "Could I have steak and chips?"
"Certainly," says the barman, "that'll be two dollars."
"Two dollars?" cries the man.
"You're joking. Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The barman says, "Upstairs, with my wife".
The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The barman says, "The same thing I'm doing to his business."
You know how people were joking about 2021 sounding like 2020 won ?
Well, next year is 2020 too.
Only when that year is over will it finally be 2020 free.
I told my kids I wanted to be a trans-parent
They knew I was joking because they could see right through me
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man asks for v**... in a club(true story)
So I work at a nightclub and a guy approaches me and asks how much does a bottle of v**... cost, I replied with 80 euros.
The man then said "can I buy half a bottle for 40 euros" .
Me : no sir, but I can give it to you for free if you'd like.
Man : oh really! Are u joking!
Me : Yes, but you started it.
*That joke almost got me fired... but it was worth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife was joking about her commute to our office in the back yard.
h**... boy this commute is going to be rough today she said as she opened the back door to walk 50 feet to the office
Yeah I heard there's a squirrel flipped over on the tree o five
