The Best 35 Jokes Knock Knock Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Jokes Knock Knock jokes. There are some jokes knock knock knocks jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jokes knock knock slammed puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Jokes Knock Knock Jokes and Puns

Where do little jokes come from?

Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.

Do you know any jokes?

**Her:** "Do you know any jokes?"

**Me:** "No."

**Her:** "I'll teach you one."


"Knock! Knock!"

**Me:** "Who's there?"

**Her:** "Ash."


"Now ask, Ash: who?"

**Me:** "Ash: who?"

**Her:** "Please cover your mouth when you sneeze."

**Me: rekt**

Cargo Owl Joke

Knock, knock...
Who's there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Nope. Owl go who. Car go beep beep.

I had a tough conversation with my parents

Dad: knock knock

Me: who's there?

Dad: water

Me: water who?

Dad: water you even doing with your life? I ask you this in the form of a joke because it seems this best relates to the course of your life thus far.

Where did sally go when the bomb went off?

- everywhere.

Why did sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms..

Knock knock..
Whose there?
-not sally.


Why did the chicken cross the road?

Me: Why?
Him: To get to the stupid persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: It's the chicken!

A man is walking through the woods when he sees a bear charging at him.

He books it, but he knows he can't outrun a bear for long, so he starts praying: "Dear Lord, I beseech thee. Please, o Lord, please let this bear be a Christian!" The bear catches up to him, knocks him down on the ground, then gets on its knees and says: "Dear Lord, thank you for this food I am about to receive..."

Two dogs are sitting in a bar. The first says, "wanna hear a joke?" The second dog says "sure!" The first dog says "knock knock." The second says...

WOOF WOOF WOOF! WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!!

My 10 y/o son told me this.

Him: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To find the idiot.
Him: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Him: The chicken...

I saw it coming with the knock knock joke but it made me laugh.

A dog is talking to his owner. Dog: Tell me a joke

Dog: Tell me a joke

Man: Don't be silly, you're a dog

Dog: Oh, go on

Man: You're a dog, you won't understand

Dog: Do it anyway, pleeeeese

Man: OK. Knock Knock

Dog: Woof Woof Woof Woof Woofโ€ฆโ€ฆโ€ฆ.

B'dum tsss

A collection of jokes I have found over the years about drummers.

**NOTE:** Before you get offended, I AM A DRUMMER. I FIND THESE FUNNY TOO.

1. What do you call a drummer in a suit? The defendant
2. How can you tell a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up
3. What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted
4. What does a drummer use for contraception? His personality
5. Did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? Me neither
6. What did the drummer say to the band leader? "Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?"
7. How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five: One to screw it in, four to say that Neil Peart could've done it better
8. Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car? So that they can use the handicapped parking space
9. How do you get a drummer off your porch? Give him the money for the pizza
10. What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? A drummer

Anyone got any more?

You can explore jokes knock knock knocking reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jokes knock knock knocking door dad jokes. There are also jokes knock knock puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

He won the no-bell prize.

The man who invented knock-knock jokes

should get a no bell prize.

A time sensitive joke for you guys tomorrow..

Knock Knock




Who's there?



9/11



9/11 who?




You said you'd never forget.

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce pause this joke for a word from our sponsor, Raid Shadow Legends

The creator of the very first knock knock joke..

Must have won a no-bell prize

A funny joke indeed

A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners.

At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10."

Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was naked."

A woman staying in a hotel was taking a shower after a long days work when she heard a knock on her door.

She went to the door, looked through the door-hole and saw it was her friend Steve. She wrapped a towel around her and opened the door.

"I finally got my racing licence!" exclaimed Steve.

"Good for you." the woman said, and closed the door, left the towel by the door and got back in the shower. A second knock came, and she saw it was John, another friend of hers. Again she wrapped the towel around her and opened the door.

"I won the lottery!" John said, and the woman congratulated him and went back to her shower. for the third time, a knock on the door came. she looked through the peephole and saw it was Tom, her blind friend. she didn't bother putting on a towel.

"What is it Tom?! This is the third time I have been interrupted while showering!"

Tom gleefully replied:
"I can see!"

A blonde woman dyes her hair red....

A blonde woman dyes her hair red because she's tired of the blonde jokes. One day she stops by a farm and asks the farmer, "If I can count how many sheep you have, can I keep one?" The farmer reluctantly agrees. After some counting, the blonde woman says, "there is 124 sheep in your farm." Shocked, the farmer counts them. Sure enough, there are 124 sheep. The woman picks one up and takes it to her car. Right when she's about to leave, the farmer knocks on her window and asks,"Ma'am, if I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"


Dad: Got a good joke for you, it's a knock knock joke

Me: OK...

Dad: you have to start...

Me: OK, Knock knock

Dad: Who's there.....

Me: เฒ _เฒ  .... Well I don't know, IT'S YOUR JOKE!

This has been my stand-by joke since I was about 12

Two brothers want to go deer hunting but the only land nearby is owned by a grumpy farmer.

The decide to ask him if they can hunt on his property but when they pull up in the driveway neither brother wants to go knock on the door.

They play rock-paper-scissors and the older brother loses. He walks to the door and asks the farmer if they can go hunting.

The old farmer points to a nearby corral and says "See that horse? She's been mine for 20 years. She's blind and dying and I don't have the heart to put her down. If you do that for me, you boys can hunt on my land".

The older brother agrees and while walking back to the truck he thinks of a prank to play on his younger brother.

"I'll teach that lousy no-good farmer to say no!" he exclaims. "See that horse over there? Watch this!" He levels his rifle and shoots it! He hears gunshots next to him and looks at his brother.

"I got two of his cows" yells the younger brother, "lets get out of here!"

How do you put an elephant in a fridge joke

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left?
499.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps?
Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge.
How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge.
The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it?
The deer: He is still in the fridge.
An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party
Mary dies at the edge of the swamp. How?

A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

Knock knock Who's there?

Not Mary

My 4 year old daughter told me the joke today. Knock knock, who's there? Dinosaurp, Dinosaurp who?

Haha you said dinosaur poo.

An alternate version of a racist joke

A black man goes to a club and hits it off with an attractive white woman. Eventually they head back to her place and start undressing. As the woman is taking the man's pants off, she says "now... show me what you guys are really famous for".

So a police offer knocks down the door and shoots him.

What did the person who invented knock-knock jokes win?

A no-bell prize!

chicken butt joke

Knock knock

Who's there?

Interrupting cow

Interrupting cow who?

...chicken butt!

In memorial of Sean Connery: My favorite knock knock joke. (Say out loud for best effect)

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Dish

Dish Who?

(Said in Sean Connery accent) DISH IS SEAN CONNERY LET ME IN!

Any great and funny jokes like this one for my 8 year old granddaughter?

She loves this one:

A guy is sitting in his living room, hears a knock at the door. Gets up and opens the door, no one there. Looks down and sees a snail on the doormat. Being a guy, of course he picks it up and throws it across the street.
Six months later, the guy is in his living room, hears a knock at the door. Gets up, opens the door, no one there. He looks down and it's that snail. Snail looks up and yells "what the heck was that about?!!!".

Dave knows everyone joke

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, โ€œYou know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.โ€
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, โ€œOK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?โ€
โ€œNo dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.โ€ So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruiseโ€™s door, and Tom Cruise shouts,
โ€œDave! Whatโ€™s happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!โ€
Although impressed, Daveโ€™s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruiseโ€™s house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.
โ€œNo, no, just name anyone else,โ€ Dave says.
โ€œPresident Obama,โ€ his boss quickly retorts.
โ€œYup,โ€ Dave says, โ€œOld buddies, letโ€™s fly out to Washington,โ€ and off they go.
At the White House, Obama spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, โ€œDave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and letโ€™s have a beer first and catch up.โ€
Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.
โ€œPope Francis,โ€ his boss replies.
โ€œSure!โ€ says Dave. โ€œIโ€™ve known the Pope for years.โ€ So off they fly to Rome.
Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vaticanโ€™s St. Peterโ€™s Square when Dave says, โ€œThis will never work. I canโ€™t catch the Popeโ€™s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and Iโ€™ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.โ€ He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Making his way to his bossโ€™ side, Dave asks him, โ€œWhat happened?โ€
His boss looks up and says, โ€œIt was the final strawโ€ฆ you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, โ€˜Who the fuck is that on the balcony with Dave?โ€™

The best knock knock joke EVER

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Poop. .

Poop who?



Ha ha ! you said poo poo!



My daughter made that up.
I am so proud!

For my cake day, a Harry Potter joke I made up when I was a kid...

*Knock-knock*

~ Who's there?

~ You know

~ you know who?

*avada kedavra!*

Sorry if everyone knows that one, 7 year old me thought I was being very clever.

A joke for Australians

The Garbo's doing his rounds and he gets his mate,the bogan's place and the bin ain't out the front. So the Garbo knocks on the door. "G'Day, Bogan. Long time no see. Where's ya bin?" Asks the Garbo. "I bin on holidays." Says the Bogan. "Nah mate, where's ya bin?" Repeats the Garbo. "I just said," responds the Bogan, "I bin on holidays." "No no. Where's ya wheelie bin?" Clarifies the Garbo. The Bogan responds, "Well I wheelie bin in jail but I tell people I was on holidays."

Candice joke

Knock, knock!
Whoโ€™s there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Candice joke get any funnier?

My Favorite Latvian Joke

One day, hear knock on door.

Man ask "Who is?"

"Is potato man. I come around to give free potato."

Man is very excite and opens door.

Is not potato man,

is secret police.

Knock knock

-Knock knock

-Who's there?

-Grandpa!

-Oh shit, stop the funeral!

(Gary Delaney joke)

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the jokes knock knock nausea headaches jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working jokes knock knock unreasonably piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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