Following is our collection of Jokes jokes which are very funny. There are some jokes funny jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jokes braveheart puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Because it's always too soon.
^(i feel bad)
I guess they're aimed at a younger audience...
Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.
Well the jokes on them – they're imaginary too...
Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.
"Whatever means necessary," she replied.
"No it doesn't," I said.
...I told him to lighten up.
As a Jew I have a soft spot for jokes about my own people, and this is one of my favorites that isn't so well known.
A Jewish man walks into a whorehouse. The madame asks him what he'd like. He asks if any of the women there can have sex "the Jewish way". Puzzled, she goes to each of the unoccupied rooms, and asks the woman inside if she's familiar with having sex the Jewish way. Finally, they get to the last room. Inside is a prostitute who's extremely talented, and is one of the most expensive in the area. She asks, "do you know how to have sex the Jewish way? This man's looking for a woman who does". She responds, "no, I haven't. But to stay at the top of my profession, I'm always looking to improve. If you teach me how to have sex the Jewish way, we'll do that free of charge".
The man accepts the offer, and they have sex. She's surprised to find that it's just regular sex! Afterwards, she asks "What were you talking about, 'the Jewish way'? You just had sex with me, the most expensive hooker in town, for free?!" He smiles and replies, "that's the Jewish way!".
God hates gags.
A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink.
"Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something."
"Dad you dont mea-"
"Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son.
"Dad I dont know what to say...I'm honored."
"Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."
A small chest with no booty.
You can explore jokes cornea reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jokes banter dad jokes. There are also jokes puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The first one got no response and the second one was shot down in flames
So last night my 12 year old son and I are watching the Little League World Series. The pitcher for the Nevada team has a last name of "Kryszczuk". My son looks to me and asks "Do you think he's Russian?"
My response: Nope, it looks like he's taking his time.
It took him a couple of seconds to realize and then he gave me that wonderful "Really, Dad?" look. I'm so proud.
So I ended up throwing away 3 pages of jokes i had written about the Victorian era.
It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptops or something.
Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate.
When you dissect it, it dies.
Get it? Just like a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you explain it.
Basically, the frog is used as an analogy, to help people understand that jokes shouldn't be explained, because the joke will die, or more specifically, become unfunny. So, just like when a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you dissect, or explain it.
This one was written in London.
Him: "If my name was Ella, and I married Darth Vader. My name would be Elevator". Stupid and corny, but it's exactly the kind of lame jokes he would make.
they told me she was imaginary, but the jokes on them, because they are too.
I always wanted to tell jokes, but I had pretty severe social anxiety. So, I wrote the jokes down on pieces of paper and taped the paper to frisbees. Then I threw the frisbees at passers by so they could read my jokes.
The trouble was, most of them flew right over their heads.
No more jokes about the profit.
What's the difference between cancer and the middle class? At least cancer got Jobs.
You either get twice the usual amount of dad jokes or get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mom"
My girlfriend doesn't laugh at my jokes.
*edited for spelling: "Mr" instead of "my"*
I still do, but I used to too.
Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.
Their words not mine
He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia...
That way I wouldn't have to deal with all the dad jokes
...She takes him by the hand to the bedroom and winks at him and says: "why don't you show me if what they say about black guys is true." So he stabs her and steals her TV.
P.S: don't worry, it's ok for me to make such jokes because I'm racist.
I think it's a gag reflex.
Out of respect, we should at least wait until it takes place.
Jokes on her, I'm 4'11
Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."
The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street."
Jokes on them, they're imaginary too.
**Her:** "Do you know any jokes?"
**Me:** "No."
**Her:** "I'll teach you one."
"Knock! Knock!"
**Me:** "Who's there?"
**Her:** "Ash."
"Now ask, Ash: who?"
**Me:** "Ash: who?"
**Her:** "Please cover your mouth when you sneeze."
**Me: rekt**
I watched my father grill burgers. When they were done, he handed me one, telling me it was a Bison burger. He then left.....never came back......I know he may not have been dedicated to his family, but he was dedicated to his jokes.
He books it, but he knows he can't outrun a bear for long, so he starts praying: "Dear Lord, I beseech thee. Please, o Lord, please let this bear be a Christian!" The bear catches up to him, knocks him down on the ground, then gets on its knees and says: "Dear Lord, thank you for this food I am about to receive..."
You realize you're a healthy young man
**It must have been the delivery.**
But when I do, he laughs.
Bonus: my dad says I'm the only joke he'll ever need.
Because there is no delivery.
When nobody laughed he would follow with, "Ah well. I guess you had to be there."
A key!
This is one of the oldest jokes ever recorded. It was found in a 10th century book of Anglo Saxon poetry.
HeHe...
Im making bad chemistry jokes coz all the good ones argon
So wake me up when it's all over
Maybe you should lighten up a little.
"It was as bad as your previous two Fibonacci jokes combined," she taunted.
WIFE: I have a couple of important announcements... First: I'm pregnant.
HUSBAND: Hi Pregnant, I'm dad
WIFE: Second: No you're not
Me "when I what"
"Because this stupid parrot keeps reposting crappy jokes" said the pet store employee.
Mine is sweet, supportive, and a great influence on me and my wife. I can't say anything bad about her.
Either you have twice as many dad jokes or get stuck in an endless loop of "go ask your mother"
It was the end of my Korea
They all laughed at me and told me she is isn't real.
Well Jokes on them because neither are they
I don't get it
this
After being unhappy for many years my mother came to me and said she was going to get a sex change operation. I didn't fully understand but I was very supportive throughout the whole operation, then he came home.
That's when it all started, all the time all day long horrible dad jokes, terrible puns and all around just awful humor. After a few weeks and being fed up, I realized something and I confronted them.
"Did you seriously just have a sex change operation just for the dad jokes?!" I asked.
He replied, "Oh you could see right through me, I must be so trans-parent."
Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal...
It's ridiculous and unfair.
Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country.
Why am i bad at telling jokes?
A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.
The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction.
A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei.
The emergency operator asks the bystander, "What happened?"
"It's hard to say."
They either suffer twice as many dad jokes or an endless cycle of ask your mother.
It's amazing what 7 jokes can do
I guarantee nobody has ever heard them.
Norse code
I'm gonna keep making these jokes until one blows up
That's why my x is no longer in the equation
What does it say at the bottom of a Norwegian swimming pool?
- No smoking allowed.
Why do Norwegian motor bikers wear pyjamas hats instead of helmets?
- Because the helmet broke during the 300 metre free fall test.
Why did the Norwegian bring a car door to the desert?
- so he could roll the window down in case it gets too hot.
What does a Norwegian calculator say you if you enter 1 + 1?
- please wait...
I got more birthday wishes than my real-life birthday.
[Reddit, thank you for years of facts, hobbies, jokes, and hundreds of unproductive hours]
But there's no option to give Creddit.
Not everyone likes the dark ones.
- Jokes on Anti-Vaxxers
- Their Children
Will anyone get this?
Because ECG draws a line there
Why was the snow yellow?
Because Elsa let it go!
I am a waiter and I have regular family every week on Monday. I exchange jokes with the youngest boy and he always wins free dessert. This week however he won a free meal for the whole family. I laughed til I made yellow snow
Edit. Did not know it was my cake day! I think this is my first joke post. Just wanted to share.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the jokes comedy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working jokes quips piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.