Following is our collection of funny Jokes jokes. There are some jokes funny jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jokes jokes yo mama puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Because it's always too soon.
^(i feel bad)
I guess they're aimed at a younger audience...
Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.
Well the jokes on them β they're imaginary too...
Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.
"Whatever means necessary," she replied.
"No it doesn't," I said.
As a Jew I have a soft spot for jokes about my own people, and this is one of my favorites that isn't so well known.
A Jewish man walks into a whorehouse. The madame asks him what he'd like. He asks if any of the women there can have sex "the Jewish way". Puzzled, she goes to each of the unoccupied rooms, and asks the woman inside if she's familiar with having sex the Jewish way. Finally, they get to the last room. Inside is a prostitute who's extremely talented, and is one of the most expensive in the area. She asks, "do you know how to have sex the Jewish way? This man's looking for a woman who does". She responds, "no, I haven't. But to stay at the top of my profession, I'm always looking to improve. If you teach me how to have sex the Jewish way, we'll do that free of charge".
The man accepts the offer, and they have sex. She's surprised to find that it's just regular sex! Afterwards, she asks "What were you talking about, 'the Jewish way'? You just had sex with me, the most expensive hooker in town, for free?!" He smiles and replies, "that's the Jewish way!".
A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink.
"Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something."
"Dad you dont mea-"
"Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son.
"Dad I dont know what to say...I'm honored."
"Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."
A small chest with no booty.
The first one got no response and the second one was shot down in flames
So last night my 12 year old son and I are watching the Little League World Series. The pitcher for the Nevada team has a last name of "Kryszczuk". My son looks to me and asks "Do you think he's Russian?"
My response: Nope, it looks like he's taking his time.
It took him a couple of seconds to realize and then he gave me that wonderful "Really, Dad?" look. I'm so proud.
You can explore jokes cornea reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jokes banter dad jokes. There are also jokes puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptops or something.
Jokes on him, I don't have a roommate.
When you dissect it, it dies.
Get it? Just like a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you explain it.
Basically, the frog is used as an analogy, to help people understand that jokes shouldn't be explained, because the joke will die, or more specifically, become unfunny. So, just like when a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you dissect, or explain it.
they told me she was imaginary, but the jokes on them, because they are too.
No more jokes about the profit.
You either get twice the usual amount of dad jokes or get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mom"
I still do, but I used to too.
That way I wouldn't have to deal with all the dad jokes
...She takes him by the hand to the bedroom and winks at him and says: "why don't you show me if what they say about black guys is true." So he stabs her and steals her TV.
P.S: don't worry, it's ok for me to make such jokes because I'm racist.
Out of respect, we should at least wait until it takes place.
Jokes on her, I'm 4'11
Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."
The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street."
**Her:** "Do you know any jokes?"
**Me:** "No."
**Her:** "I'll teach you one."
"Knock! Knock!"
**Me:** "Who's there?"
**Her:** "Ash."
"Now ask, Ash: who?"
**Me:** "Ash: who?"
**Her:** "Please cover your mouth when you sneeze."
**Me: rekt**
I watched my father grill burgers. When they were done, he handed me one, telling me it was a Bison burger. He then left.....never came back......I know he may not have been dedicated to his family, but he was dedicated to his jokes.
You realize you're a healthy young man
**It must have been the delivery.**
But when I do, he laughs.
Bonus: my dad says I'm the only joke he'll ever need.
Because there is no delivery.
When nobody laughed he would follow with, "Ah well. I guess you had to be there."
HeHe...
Im making bad chemistry jokes coz all the good ones argon
So wake me up when it's all over
WIFE: I have a couple of important announcements... First: I'm pregnant.
HUSBAND: Hi Pregnant, I'm dad
WIFE: Second: No you're not
Me "when I what"
Mine is sweet, supportive, and a great influence on me and my wife. I can't say anything bad about her.
Either you have twice as many dad jokes or get stuck in an endless loop of "go ask your mother"
It was the end of my Korea
After being unhappy for many years my mother came to me and said she was going to get a sex change operation. I didn't fully understand but I was very supportive throughout the whole operation, then he came home.
That's when it all started, all the time all day long horrible dad jokes, terrible puns and all around just awful humor. After a few weeks and being fed up, I realized something and I confronted them.
"Did you seriously just have a sex change operation just for the dad jokes?!" I asked.
He replied, "Oh you could see right through me, I must be so trans-parent."
Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal...
It's ridiculous and unfair.
Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country.
Why am i bad at telling jokes?
They either suffer twice as many dad jokes or an endless cycle of ask your mother.
It's amazing what 7 jokes can do
I guarantee nobody has ever heard them.
That's why my x is no longer in the equation
Unless they're executed properly, that is.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
That ship has sailed.
Just like yo mamma
Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.
I'm a faux pa.
I replied "yes I cancer." Then I cracked tumor
I mean, I still do, but I used to, too.
They can reach a wider audience.
The Scientologist jokes, "I've got 4 kids. One more and I'll have a basketball team!" The Catholic joins in and says, "Well I've got 10 kids, and one more I'll have a football team!". The Mormon speaks up and deadpans. "I've got 17 wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."
Not one. At first, I thought it was just because everyone was muted. It turns out, they didn't find me remotely funny.
***A faux pa.***
Thirty stolen jokes is an Amy Schumer special.
They either get twice the number of dad jokes or are stuck in the infinite loop of 'ask mom'
Then I came to the conclusion that they're just all kept in a dadabase.....
I'll see myself out
πͺπΆπΎββοΈ
Why
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
I'm stumped.
Deter-gents
Day 4 of posting soapy dad jokes for a week!
The cornier the better
Because opinions on those jokes are pretty *split*. I don't know if they'll ap*peal* to everyone.
For the groan up votes.
In the Dad-abase!
Benjamin Franklin was a great American President.
People don't seem to get them.
You tell bad jokes
I had to start storing them in a dadabase.
Because the rest of us already have reddit.
But when I do, I use them to break the ice
He failed while trying to reach for it, now the jokes on him!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the jokes jokes n jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working jokes jokes on piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.