joker Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious joker puns

When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it.

That's Arkham's Razor.

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Joker to Batman: "Hey Batman, wanna hear a joke?"

"Yeah sure."

Joker: "Ok, parental love".

Batman: "I don't get it.."

"exactly."

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Jason Todd walks into a bar, where the Joker is behind the counter. He says "Jason, you know I can't serve Robins here"

Jason asks "Why?" and Joker replies "this is a CROW bar!"



Then he beats him to death.

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Joker: "Hey Bats, Wanna hear a joke?"

Batman: "Sure"


Joker: "Parental Love"

Batman: "I don't get it"

Joker: "Exactly."

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The Joker is in a room with Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, and has a gun with one bullet, who does he shoot?

Neither. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

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Superman's day off

Superman has a very rare day off and decides to fly around to figure out how to spend it.

He flies over to Batman's place and approaches him. "Hey Batman, I have the day off want to hang out?". "Sorry Superman, I have to stop the Joker from killing my girlfriend". Superman replies, "Eh whatever Batman, I'll find something to do", and he flies off

He heads over to Spiderman's place. "Hey Spidey, want to hang out, I have the day off". "Sorry Superman, I have to save Maryjane from a burning building.". Superman bluntly replies, "Fuck you Spiderman, I have more important shit to do anyway."

Superman then decides to fly over a nude beach to kill time. While enjoying the scenery he notices Wonder Woman is sun-bathing naked, on her back, legs open. Seizing the opportunity, Superman flies down, fucks her, and hops back up exclaiming "Thanks Wonder Woman, that's exactly what I needed on my day off!", and flies off into the distance.

A little dazed and confused Wonder Woman raises her head and says, "What the hell was that?"

The Invisible Man responds, "I don't know, but my ass is killing me"

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Jim had a pregnant wife who was soon to give birth.

One day, he's on his way home from work, when he gets the call that his wife has gone into labour. In a panic, he races to get to the hospital, but swerves his car and crashes into the ditch. When he wakes up, he finds himself in the hospital, with his brother Jack, an irascible practical joker, leaning over his bed.

Your wife's fine, and she gave birth to two healthy twins, a boy and a girl. The doctors needed names, so I had to name them."

Jim was wary. What'd you name them?

I named the girl Denise, Jack said.

That's a good name, Jim breathed out a sigh of relief. What'd you name the boy?

Denephew.

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I saw The Joker working at a winter apparel store.

He turned to me and said "You wanna know how I got these scarves?"

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What does Joker do when he's not plotting or committing evil crimes?

He rides his Harley.

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"..A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news..'"

"This remind me of a hilarious joke. A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news.'
'What are the bad news?' asks the patient.
'You only have 24 hours to live.' replies the doctor.
'Oh my, that's terrible! What could possibly be worse than that?!'
'Well, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday...!'
Haha! Always knocks em out!"

- The Joker on The Batman cartoon.

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What's the difference between the Joker and Ronald McDonald?

The Joker only killed people in Gotham City.

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Do you want to know how i got these Scars?

Joker asked Batman as he showed him his Lion king figurine collection.

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Why don't frogs use screws?

Because they prefer rrrrrivets.

*been using lots of rivets on a project lately when I came up with this awful dad-style joke. But I'm 40 and a dad so I'm a fully-licensed dad joker ."*

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Joker: "Someone said you sound like an owl more than a bat"

Bat: "WHO?"

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TIL Gerry Rafferty of Stealers Wheel is buried in the same graveyard as Ronald McDonald and Heath Ledger.

He has a clown to the left of him and a joker to the right.

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Joker is one hell of a punk...

Thats one hell of a Harley he's riding.

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Why isn't Batman invited to any parties?

Because he always gets rid of the Joker!

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Why couldn't the Joker see where Batman was?

Cause it was a dark knight

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What Do the Joker and 60,000,000 people have in common?

They just wanna watch the world burn

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What do you call Batman and...

What do you call Batman and Robin after the Joker ran them over with a steamroller?

Flatman and Ribbon!!!



--Apparently this was my 5yo self's fav joke.

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New Conspiracy Theory about 9/11

So, if you convert 9/11 into a decimal, you get 0.8181818181818181818181818181.... going on forever. What's the eighth letter of the alphabet? H. What's the first letter of the alphabet? A. That's right, ladies and germs. The Joker did 9/11.

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What does the Joker call masturbation?

Beating the Red Hood.

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If the Joker couldn't pronounce his S's, where would he live?

Sarcasm

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Old man in prison (Rus. Trans.)

An old man is shoved into a prison cell. He is at once cornerd by the other guys in the cell. "What are you here for, old man?"- asks one of the inmates. "Well, I am a joker you know"- says the old man. "Okay, what kind of joke?." "Watch,"- says the old man and goes to the toilet wich is in one of the corners of the cell. He scoopes some shit from it, goes to the door and calls for a guard. When the gard opens the small window in the door the old man shoves the shit in his face. The window closes shut. "Ha, that was funny,"- says one of the inmates. "You just wait for the punch line,"- says the old man. At this moment the door opens and guards start filling the room. One of them takes the old man aside and says:"Stay here, we got a lesson to teach these motherfuckers."

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There was a meeting for evil clowns to boast about their evil

First, pennywise stepped up and said,"I've killed millions of children!"
Then the joker stepped up and said," I've killed millions of adults without any super powers!"
Then the last of the group, Ronald Mcdonald, stepped up with a smile.
" I've killed millions of all ages without any super powers AND they paid me for it!!"

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What did the Joker cloud say to the Batcloud?

"Why so cirrus?"


^^^^kill ^^^^me

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What would JOKER say if he had Alzheimer?

"Do you know how I got these scars?"

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What did the joker say to the wispy ice cloud?

Why so cirrus?

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Where did the Joker prank Batman?

Got 'Em City.

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Why did the Joker go up to the International Space Station?

Some men just want to watch the world turn.

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Hillary and Donald are just like Joker and Harley Quinn...

A multi billion dollar industry is going out of their ways to make them look like good guys

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What moment is Batman History was the worst for Batman?

Christmas.

He lays an egg, smells bad, and Joker gets away.

Also his parents are dead.

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Why didn't Mark Hamill go crazy while voice acting as the Joker?

Because he overcame the dark side

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Heath Ledger

-So if Heath ledger was a method actor, and he killed himself while being the joker, what did he do for Broke Back Mountain? He was a gay cowboy.

-I have to guess he rode more than horses.

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A Vulture Boards a plane carrying two dead raccoons.The stewardess say,"I'm sorry but we only allow each passenger one carrrion."

joker

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What are the most funny Joker jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Joker? Well, here are the best Joker dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Joker pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes