Joke About Bad Jokes
112 joke about bad jokes and hilarious joke about bad puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about joke about bad that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Short joke about bad jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The joke about bad humour may include short jokes also.
- Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings? Because it's always too soon.
^(i feel bad) - I don't understand all these jokes about mothers-in-law. Mine is sweet, supportive, and a great influence on me and my wife. I can't say anything bad about her.
- A dad joke my science teacher told me a long time ago: Why are bacteria so bad at math?
Because they multiply by dividing.
RIP Miss Henn. Miss her lots. - I feel bad for children of gay couples. They either suffer twice as many dad jokes or an endless cycle of ask your mother.
- I happily dad joked my fiancé While on her way to work, she texted me saying she only put deodorant on one side.
To which I replied, "At least you won't smell half bad!" - Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. When nobody laughed he would follow with, "Ah well. I guess you had to be there."
- I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs… If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
- Joke my kid made up when he was like 4.... What do you call an angry shopper using bad words? A cussomer.
- There's a reason dad joke rhymes with bad joke It's because they both contain most of the same letters.
- "What did you think of my new Fibonacci joke?" the man asked. "It was as bad as your previous two Fibonacci jokes combined," she taunted.
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Joke About Bad One Liners
Which joke about bad one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with joke about bad? I can suggest the ones about and .
- All dad jokes are bad and here's why Why
- I tell it in the wrong order. Why am i bad at telling jokes?
- Orion's Belt is a big waist of space. Bad joke. Only three star.
- I always tell the punchline first. Why am I so bad at telling jokes?
- For anyone who doesn't want to hear any pickle jokes on this sub: Too bad…. Dill with it!
- I once told a joke about Orpheus and Eurydice. Looking back...
It was a bad idea. - I once told a bad joke about ghosts It still haunts me to this day.
- What's the deal with Orions belt? Waste of space!
Bad joke? Okay okay
3 stars - My Kids Got p**... at Me for Cooking pancake this Morning Seems he was their favorite rabbit
- Why are gay comedians so bad at telling jokes? Because they can't keep a straight face.
- Why aren't there any white jokes? No one wants to get on the shooter's bad side.
- Why are bad jokes like dead babies? Usually, something went wrong with the delivery.
- How did bad jokes become dad jokes? Autocorrect
- Why is leather good for sneaking? It's made of hide (yes it's a bad joke)
- What's the difference? What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing.
Joke About Bad Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about joke about bad you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make joke about bad pranks.
I can tell bad jokes too - A dog limps into a saloon...
As the batwing doors swing closed behind him, the patrons turn to eye the stranger up.
The dog c**... looks around the dim, smoky room and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A lawyer is about to enter a party..............
A lawyer is about to enter a party and decides to tell people that he's a doctor instead of a lawyer since people seem to think badly about lawyers and has always been attacked by lawyers jokes. After he's mingled for a little while, a guy comes up to him and tells him that there's another doctor there who works at the same hospital he does. To his surprise, this other doctor plays along and pretends to know him. After the party ends, the guy goes up to the doctor and says, Thanks for playing along. So, what does it feel like to be a real doctor? The man replies, I wouldn't know. I work for the IRS.
"..A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news..'"
"This remind me of a hilarious joke. A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news, and worse news.'
'What are the bad news?' asks the patient.
'You only have 24 hours to live.' replies the doctor.
'Oh my, that's terrible! What could possibly be worse than that?!'
'Well, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday...!'
Haha! Always knocks em out!"
- The Joker on The Batman cartoon.
For my cake day, a joke...
Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."
Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"
The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
I try to tell this joke in english :]
There's a young boy, with no arms, nor legs called Lumpi.
Lumpi plays in front of his house in the sandbox, then a window opens on the 4th floor and Lumpi's mother yells at him "Lumpi time to eat!" and she throws down a rope.
As Lumpi sees the rope hanging out of his window, he starts to rob to the rope and bite's it! He trained hard to hold himself on the rope with his teeth. Lumpi is very hungry and starts to pull himself up only with his teeth. Lumpi pulls and pulls, he's on the 1st floor, the window opens and a young Lady smiles at him, Lumpi smiles back, then pulls again...and again, 2nd floor the window opens and an old man sees him and waves at him, Lumpi shakes his head to greet back, then he start's to pull himself up again. Lumpi, all sweaty and hungry now on the the 3rd floor, near his own window on the 4th floor. The window on the 3rd floor opens and a Lady sees him, then she says "Hi Lumpi! What are you going to eat now?" and Lumpi replies " Pizaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!...."
Sry for my bad english, I just tried to tell a joke in english that I know in my own language. :)
Blonde joke
So two blondes were driving through the country and noticed another blonde. She was sitting in a rowboat, which was in the middle of a field, and she was trying to row it.
The first blonde said- See, it's blondes like that that give us a bad name.
And the second blonde replied- Yeah! If I could swim, I'd go out there and drown her myself!
There are three kinds of people: Those who are good at math, those who are bad at math,
and those who are bad at jokes.
Charlie the Street Car Conductor
Long joke that is passed down in my family
So down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a streer car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated them like family. Everything in his life was perfect for Charlie until one day he decided to operate the street car after having a few drinks. In his drunken state, he crashed the streetcar and killed all the passengers. After going to court Charlie was sentences to death by the eletric chair. When the day came for his execution, a gaurd visited Charlie's cell and asked him what he wanted for his final meal. Charlie replied, "I want a rotten tomato and a raw fish." After Charlie finished his meal he headed into the execution room and sat down in the eletric chair. The warden gave the order to pull the switch and the room went dark as thousands of volts passed through Charlies body. After the switch was thrown back it came as a suprise that Charlie was in fact still alive. Having no idea what else to do the warden let Charlie out of jail but banned him from ever operating a streetcar in New Orleans. Since street cars were his life Charlie decided "Hey I'll go to Japan, I hear they have fancy new street cars there." In Japan Charlie gets a job as a conductor again, but as before decides that after having a few drinks that he is still able to work the street car. To no suprise Charlie crashes the stree car and kills all the passengers. Charlie again finds himself in jail ordering his last meal. "A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. After the meal was eaten, Charlie was led to the chair and once again survives the eletricity. Because he wasn't dying, he was set free but banned from operating the street cars in Japan. Charlie thought to himself, "Well I heard San Francisco still has street cars operating so I'll go there." As you can guess Charlie ends up in the same situation and again orders the same meal " A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. The warden from San Francisco had heard of Charlie and his previous death sentences so before he brought Charlie in to be executed he sent a letter to the mayor asking to reroute the city's eletricity to the jail. The mayor approved and confident with his new found power the warden smiled and gave the order to pull the switch. The lights in the room burst from the overload and the smell of something burning overwelmed the air. The warden after a minute ordered the gaurd to shut off the chair and as the smoke cleared, there was Charlie same as always. Distraught with emotion, the warden told Charlie to get out of his sights. Charlie, tired of going to jail, finally decided that maybe he shouldn't be a street car conductor after all. So Charlie travels back to New Orleans and meets his friend Thibodaux at a bar. Thibodaux after a few minutes of small talk tells Charlie "Everyone has heard about the eletric chair incidents and I just gotta axe, how were you able to survive all them jolts of electricity through your body? Was there something you did that made you resistant to it?" Charlie looks at Thibodaux and says "I dunno, I guess I was just a bad conductor."
BAD MATH JOKE TIME.
For pi day, my friend was selling pies as a fundraiser, so because I love pie, I decided to buy two.
I went from 0 to 2π.
I went absolutely nowhere.
A bad math joke I came up with
A little boy sees something way up in the sky and runs to his mom to ask her what it is. She points the boy to his father and tells him to ask him so the boy runs over to his father and asks what is in the sky. The father can't answer either but points the boy to his uncle saying he should be able to help. The boy runs over to his uncle but his uncle doesn't have an answer either and just points the boy back to his mother, the boy then knows what is in the sky.
[Because it takes 3 points to define a plane](/spoiler)
[Bad joke] The other day my sister asked me what the difference between cellular division and a sock is
To which I replied 'Nothing, they both involve mitosis'
I give to you a joke I made up when I was seven: Why did the computer c**...?
It had a bad driver!
**bows **
I'll show myself out.
Joke I came up with when I was ten
So a student walks into his classroom early and approaches the teacher.
He says: "I just wanted to tell you that I couldn't do my homework last night"
The teacher asks: "Why not?"
The students replies: "Because I ran out"
Teacher: "Of notebook paper?"
Student: "No, of toilet paper"
Teacher: "What does that have to do with anything?"
Student: "I had to improvise"
It's a really bad joke but I remember my parents thought it was funny.
[Bad joke] How does a Marine like his eggs?
Semper-fried!
(Bring on the booings and the beatings)
A comfortably old joke
A doctor runs a test on an elderly lady in the hospital and comes in to her room to read her the results.
"I have some bad news, and some more bad news. You have cancer, and you also have Alzheimer's disease"
The woman says "Well at least I don't have cancer."
A guy walks up to another guy with a dog. . .
The man asks, "Does your dog bite?" and the other guy replies, "No, not at all."
So then the guy asks, "Can I pet him?" and the other guy says, "Sure." As the man goes to pet the dog, it bites him viciously. The guy complains, "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" which the other person replies, "That isn't my dog."
Sorry if bad format. Heard this joke while at the airport.
When you put the punchline before the rest of the joke.
How do you know when you're a bad comedian?
3 bad dad jokes
I use these back to back to back all the time.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
FSHHHHHHHH
Classic dad joke, but in bad taste
So we were having a family dinner for the first time in a while.
My mum was saying how terrible the situation in Nepal is, when my Dad says "it's nepalling isn't it?"
I had a good laugh, feeling guilty after :(
A traditional Iranian joke
A man has a very bad case of worms so he goes to very famous doctor. the doctor assesses his case and says go to the market buy the biggest juicy watermelon you can find, cut off one end drop your pants and sit on it. The worms will go into it and leave your body. So the guy does just that and when he sits down the king worm comes out tastes the watermelon and says " bring it in boys"!
I give to you a joke I made up when I was seven: Why did the computer c**...?
Because it had a bad driver!
*drops mic*
Today's Top Joke
Tom was at the hospital visiting with his best friend Larry who was dying. Tom asked, "If there is baseball in heaven will you come back and tell me?" Larry nodded yes just as he passed away. That night while Tom was sleeping, he heard Larry's voice in a dream, "Tom..." "Larry! What is it?!" asked Tom. "I have good news and bad news from heaven." "What's the good news?" "There is baseball in heaven after all, but the bad news is you're pitching on Tuesday."
Desperate Need of Good Jokes
Basically I've had the s**... day/month and I could really do with some cheering up.
Hit me with your cheesiest and amazingly bad jokes :-)))
Tests are like jokes...
You just gotta get through them, and sometimes you find out they're not that bad!
And other times you have cancer.
Neil Armstrong
Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. Nobody would laugh, but then immediately after Neil would follow up with, "Ah well, I guess you had to be there."
My girlfriend left me for telling too many bad jokes...
I guess her love was pun-conditional.
Everybody is trying to make Harambe jokes, and they are all really bad...
But I'm going to take a shot at it.
Bad egg jokes I thought of
1) what do you call it when you see a pretty egg?
- Egg sighting
2) what do you call it when a really annoying egg is quiet?
- Egg silent
3) what do you call it when a really hyper egg holds still?
- Egg static
4) what do you call it when an egg wonders if there is a god?
- Egg nostic
My favourite joke ever
So a woman is in the hospital, having just given birth to twins. The midwife appears at her side and gravely says that she has some good news and some bad news. The woman asks for her to get the bad news out of the way. "Well," the midwife says, "unfortunately one of the children is ginger".
The Mother laughs and says, "Well then, whats the good news?"
"Its dead", the midwife says.
I came up with a science joke...
Why are people with diamond shoes so bad for the environment?
They have a big carbon footprint...
a pretty bad joke my dad once told me
what do you get when you cross a elephant, rhino, and a hippo?
helliphino
I was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year
Which is great, I can finally make cancer jokes without feeling bad about it
I tried training for the Samaritans once.
But they told me I wasn't good at listening and I said "what?" and they said I wasn't good at listening.
-- This joke was made by a friend on facebook in the UK who currently has a really really bad time - homeless and suicidal. I found the joke really funny. Would be really nice if I could show him that he is actually a pretty funny lad and has reasons to continue living. (I'm 100% serious!!)
(Blonde joke I just remembered) A blonde and a brunette...
A blonde and a brunette are walking in a shopping mall and spot a man with really bad dandruff. He has a look of visible anger on his face as he passes the two girls. The brunette says "Wow, that guy could use some Head & Shoulders." The blonde says back "How do you give Shoulders?"
What do we want?!
"what do we want?!"
"Really bad cat jokes"
"When do we want it?!"
"Meooooowww"
As a Canadian..
Every time I hear a bad joke about being Canadian...
...I go right to the Hospital and get my feelings checked for free
I joked about how bad our apartment building's foundation was
Even the walls started cracking up
Translated Chinese joke
Good news: Today is the little Johnny's first time flying!
Bad news: The engine caught fire as soon as he took off
Good news: He took a parachute with him so he could bail out
Bad news: The parachute failed midair
Good news: He saw a huge stack of hay right beneath him
Bad news: The top of the haystack is smeared with s**...t
Good news: He didn't land on the s**...t
Bad news: He didn't land on the haystack either
This joke about the fibonacci sequence is so bad that
it's as bad as the last two combined
If BJ is Bad Joke then what is B+iJ?
Complex Bad Joke.
And if you didn't find it funny, that's because the Joke part was imaginary.
I feel bad for children of gay parents
They either suffer from twice as many dad jokes or get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mother"
If BJ stands for Bad joke, then what does B+íj stands for?
Complex bad joke.
Its not funny because the joke part is imaginary!
My parents don't understand my generation joking about committing s**... and said I wasn't allowed to...
Me: all my friends do it
Parents: if all you're friends jumped off a cliff would you do that too
Me: ok it's bad enough that you won't let me joke about it but you don't need to be a hypocrite
I just heard a new Fibonacci joke:
it was as bad as former two Fibonacci jokes put together.
There are 11 types of people
01- Those who understand binary
10- Those who don't
11- those who write bad jokes on binary
*I'll see myself out*
Dad joke alert: So when does a bad joke become a Dad joke?
When the punchline becomes apparent.
I tucked my son into bed...
When I'm about to leave, he looked up at me and said, "Daddy, check for monsters under the bed." Amused, I look underneath for him and see him, another him, shaking under the bed, and he whispers: "Daddy, there's someone on my bed."
Then I grounded the twin because it's a bad joke.
Chess joke
How come the english never lose at chess?
Because >!the queen never dies!<
Why are americans bad at chess?
Because >!they lost two towers!<
Why are thieves bad at getting jokes?
Because they always take things literally.
If you s**... at playing the trumpet...
...that's probably why.
My neighbor who had horrible jokes passed away this week. This was one of his favorites. Enjoy a good (bad) pun in his memory.
In his later years, the Lone Ranger and Tonto were catching up on old times. After awhile the Lone Ranger paused and said I have some sad news.
Tell me, old friend said the faithful Tonto.
Well...I recently was diagnosed with Cancer
Bad spirits, replied his old companion.
The lone ranger look off into the distance for a minute. After all your years of wisdom, what do you think I should do?
Chemo, sabe
Ps this is my first joke post ever so I hope I did it right.
I feel bad for children of gay parents
They either have to deal with twice as many dad jokes, or be stuck in an endless cycle of "go ask your mom"
Dab ton.
It's admittedly not the best joke, but it's not bad if you read it backwards.
Bad joke incoming
4 Norse gods, 1 roman god, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar. The bartender says "This is gonna be a week joke"
So everyone is getting mad at me after telling jokes about marine wildlife
I think it's a turtle over reaction. It just being shellfish and it's giving me a bad haddock. I mean, I don't do them on porpoise...
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming numbers...
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
I made a pencil with two erasers.
It was pointless...
PS: I actually didn't, but it's my favourite bad joke, and it's my cake day, so I can do whatever I want!
Edit #1: If you didn't see my comment somehow, I feel scammed, because at the time of posting this, I yet had like 2 hours of my cake day left. I guess Reddit doesn't use European time...
Edit #2: I feel honoured to receive my first award ever!
Would I post a bad joke on my cake day?
You butter believe it.
My husband works in a plant nursery and is looking for quality plant jokes to tell his overworked co-workers. Show me what you've got! (I'll start)
Why are plants bad cheerleaders?
Because they're always rooting for themselves.
A pirate walks into a bar
With a steering wheel on his belt buckle.
Bartender: "Oi pirate! What's with the steery thingy on ye belt?"
Pirate: "Yarr it's driving me nuts!" "Also it's me cake day so please don't be swabbing me in the blue cheese for the bad jokes"
I made an attempt!
Don't joke about the war...
I told my friend that my grandfather died in the war.
He said "I am sorry to hear. How did he die?"
I said "One night there was a drunken party, and he fell off a guard tower!"
An old man sitting behind us interrupted. "You shouldn't joke about these things. It's offensive. My father actually died in the war."
I felt really bad, and apologized. "You're right it was insensitive of me. I'm sorry about your father, how did he die?"
He replied "One night there was a drunken party, and he was walking past a guard tower..."
There's a lot of bad jokes. Especially the one about the dessert thief
That one really takes the cake
Old soviet joke
The new soviet leader has just taken power.
The former leaders says to him 'I have left you two letters. When you get into problems open the first letter. If you still have problems open the second letter .
About 1 year into his leadership things are going badly for the new guy. He then remembers the words of the former leader and opens the first letter, which reads 'blame all your problems on me'. The new guy does this and everything is fine for a little while.
But sadly things go from bad to worse, so he opens the second letter, which reads 'sit down and write two letters'.
What's the difference between a Dad joke and a bad joke?
A letter