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Joint Jokes

155 joint jokes and hilarious joint puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about joint that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the funniest joint jokes that'll make your bones ache with laughter! From hip and knee joints to ball joints and strip joints, funny bone joints humor to koalas smoking mariguana in Colorado, you'll find the best humor from all joints of the web.

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Funniest Joint Short Jokes

Short joint jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The joint humour may include short joining jokes also.

  1. I wrote the names of everyone I've unfriended onto a piece of paper; but my roommate took it and rolled it into a joint. Now he's high on my list of people I never want to see again.
  2. I wrote down the names of all the people I hate, and my roommate used it to roll his joint. He is now high on my list of people I never wanna see again.
  3. My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker... ...so I told her to roll them tighter.
  4. I was going to smoke a joint with some Mexicans But when I asked if anyone had papers, they all ran off.
  5. I wrote down the names of everyone I dislike on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint. He is now high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
  6. Elon Musk and bill gates have decided to partner in a joint venture to invent a medication to overcome erectile dysfunction. They have decided to name the new drug 'Elongates'.
  7. i was about to smoke a joint in the park but then i saw a sign that said "keep off the grass" and felt judged.
  8. It's pretty strange, doctors are now prescribing cannabis for arthritis sufferers... I mean, the definition of arthritis is "inflammation of the joints"
  9. A couple of cows were smoking a joint while playing cards.... That's right, the steaks were pretty high.
  10. I wrote down my bucket list on a piece of paper, and my crush decided to use it to roll up her joint. She is now high on the list of things I want to do before I die.

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Joint One Liners

Which joint one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with joint? I can suggest the ones about joined and partner.

  1. What do you call a pizza joint run by epileptic midgets? Little Seizure's
  2. I don't always roll a joint... ...but when I do, it's an ankle.
  3. A friend of mine and I were both born on 4/20. We always have a joint birthday party.
  4. What do you call a Sith Lord with joint pain? Darthritis
  5. I rolled my first joint last night! Today I have an ankle the size of a football. :(
  6. What is Unidan's favorite fast food joint? Five Guys.
  7. what are cows knees called? burger joints
  8. I don't regularly roll a joint, but when I do... it's usually my ankle.
  9. My niece calls me ankle... I call here knees
    We are a joint family!
  10. A friend of mine jointed a nudist camp last week he said the first day was the hardest.
  11. What do stoners and arthritis have in common?? They both inflame joints.
  12. What do you call a bunch of potheads working together? A joint effort!
  13. So I went to my Dr. and said I needed something for my joints... He handed me a lighter
  14. What do you call a bar that bans accordionists? A classy joint.
  15. What do you call a guy with two marijuanas? Double jointed.

Joint Pain Jokes

Here is a list of funny joint pain jokes and even better joint pain puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is it called when a novelist has joint pain? Authoritis
  • Made this one up today: How do you stop joint pain? Turn it around.
  • What did the joints say to the arthritis pain? Uh-Leave!
    I made this up when I was a little kid and naturally thought I was a comedic genius for many unfortunate years to come.
  • My mother went to the doctor complaining of muscle pain, joint pain and frequent headaches The doctor examined her and diagnosed her with hypochondria. She replied 'oh no, not that as well'.
  • Whats it called when an old person gets hurt smoking w**...? Joint pain.
  • I need a medical m**... card for my joint pain. I'm always in pain when I'm out of joints.
  • Doctor: Tell me your problem. Me: There is something wrong with my joints.
    Doctor: Is there any pain?
    Me: No, they are not rolled properly.
    Doctor: g**...!
  • I need a medical m**... card for my joint pain! They're always burning!
  • Why did the old man smoke w**...? To help with his joint pain.
  • I just applied for my medical m**... certificate. Reason: Joint pain.
Joint joke, I just applied for my medical m**... certificate.

Knee Joint Jokes

Here is a list of funny knee joint jokes and even better knee joint puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • "I enjoy a joint every now and then" "Usually a knee or an elbow" said the cannibal.
  • Why did the pothead have weak knees and elbows? He didnt have any joints.
  • Iron Man's leg joint is contrary to what's expected. Iron knee.
  • Patient: Doc, I'd give my left nut to fix my knee Doc: So you are asking for a ball joint?
  • A Chinese guy was recuperating from joint surgery at a hospital. The doctor who came to check on him said -
    Knee, how?
  • I wasn't sure if I liked my knees or my elbows more... So I put them in joint first place.
  • Some knee surgeons were found to be the prime suspects of a local robbery They say it was a joint operation.
  • What's the first part of a stripper to blow? The knee. It's a load-bearing joint.
  • I once called Michael Jackson to tell him that I had injured the joint in the middle of my leg. He said **"A knee? Are you OK?"**

Hip Joint Jokes

Here is a list of funny hip joint jokes and even better hip joint puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did the femur say to the pelvis? Well, this is a hip joint!.
  • Why did the skeleton go to the club? He heard it was a hip joint. [oc, Connor, never tell anyone my username]
  • Where do skeletons go for a fun night out? Anywhere as long as it's a hip joint!
  • Dr joke ...man walks into the doctor's:
    * man: have you got anything for a "cricking hip joint" ?
    * doc: here's two tickets to "Ronnie Scott's!" [old London jazz club] (#s)
  • What's a skeletons favourite club to go to? It doesn't matter, as long as it's a hip joint.

Bone Joint Jokes

Here is a list of funny bone joint jokes and even better bone joint puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Two bones get together and open a bank account It was a joint account
  • What did one bone say to another bone? Let's meet up and share a joint.
    Cr
  • Why did the monkey put a bone in his mouth? He wanted to smoke a joint!
Joint joke, Why did the monkey put a bone in his mouth?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about joint can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of joint puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Uplifting Joint Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about joint you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean association jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make joint prank.

Row row row your boat

Roll roll roll your joint. Twist it at the end. Take a puff and that's enough. Now pass it to a friend.

Who decided to call it m**... possession"

and not joint custody?

A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when

a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey Hey! what are you doing? The monkey says Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so s**... that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the s**... lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, What's the matter with you?! The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says Hey, MONKEY! The Monkey looks down and says FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink?

A little lizard

A little lizard is walking through the jungle one day and spots a koala bear up in a tree.
"Hey, what are you doing?" asks the little lizard. Koala bear replies, "I'm getting high, come up and join me."
So the little lizard climbs the tree and shares a joint with the koala bear. Pretty soon the little lizard gets thirsty, he spots the river and says he's going to go get a drink. So the little lizard climbs down the tree, walks over to the river and as he is drinking he ends up falling in. An alligator saw this and rushes over to help the little lizard out of the water.
"What the heck are you doing?" asks the alligator.
"Well, I was getting high with the koala bear in the tree and then I got thirsty and then...."
"Whoa, wait a minute. You were getting high with a koala bear? I've got to see this." Says the alligator as he goes walking off into the jungle.
The alligator spots the koala bear in the tree and shouts up "Hey, what are you doing up there?"
The koala bear looks down and says "Shiiiiiiiiiiit, Dude, how much water did you drink?"

The Buddha walks into a pizza joint and says, "Make me one with everything."

The cashier says "That'll be $12.50."
The Buddha gives him a twenty and holds out his hand for the change.
The cashier shakes his head, smiles and says, "Change must come from within."

A man walks into a burger joint

He sees a really pretty blonde lady working behind the counter. He looks at the menu, which reads
-Hamburger: $2.00
-Cheeseburger: $2.50
-h**...:$25.00
He thinks for a second, then asks the woman "Are you the one that gives h**...?"
She smiles and replies "I am."
"Great. Wash your hands. I want a burger."

So I was about to roll a joint with a page from the Qur'an...

But I decided that I didn't really feel like getting s**....

Recreational tampons...

Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while in the joint. On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did you bring?" The second convict pulled out a box of paints and said that was going to paint anything he could. Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?" The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire..." The third convict was sitting quietly aside when the other two took notice of him and asked, "What did you bring?" The guy pulled out a box of tampons, smiled. and said, "I brought these." The other two were puzzled and asked, "Why did you bring those things?" He grinned and pointed to the box and said;
"Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating...."

A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint...

A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey Hey! what are you doing? The monkey says Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so s**... that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the s**... lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, What's the matter with you?! The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says Hey, MONKEY! The Monkey looks down and says FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink?

A rasta man goes to the bank with a 25 kg bag of m**......

And hands it over to the bank teller.
Confused, the bank teller asks, "What's this for?"
The rasta replies, "Me here to open a joint account."

So I've got some buddies...

They just so happen to be a high-ranking officials in Denver,Colorado. They're currently trying to get Republicans and Democrats to both agree to legalize medical m**... to ease arthritis symptoms. I guess you could say I have friends in high places in high places in high places for joint support for joint support for joint support.

What's an epileptic's favorite food joint?

Little seizures.

A Jamaican man saunters into a bank

.. with a 25kg bag of m**... and hands it over to the cashier. Shocked, the cashier asks.. What's this for!? The man, a Rastafarian, replies; "Me 'ere to open a joint account, mon!"

Apparently there is a bipartisan push in the US senate to legalize m**... for arthritis treatment....

So in other words, there's joint support for joint support for joint support.

There is now a bipartisan push to legalize medical m**... to relieve arthiritis.

In other words, there is joint support for joint support for joint support.

What do you get for opening the BEST Vietnamese soup joint in London?

A great big pho queue.

What do you call it when two guys open a w**... dispensary?

A joint venture.

I just rolled a joint...

Now my ankle hurts

So I gave a Friar a joint....

He's a High Priest now...

My s**... neighbors got divorced

but it's okay because they got joint custody

Nike and TOMS are embarking on a joint venture...

...for every pair of shoes you buy, they'll donate a pair to the child who made them.

What happens when you give a cow a joint?

The steaks are high

An old man walks up to a couple of stoners smoking a joint, and says,

Don't you know that smoking w**... makes you ignorant and apathetic?
One of the potheads turns to him and replies, I don't know, and I don't care.

I wanted to smoke a joint at the Mexican border...

I wonder why everyone ran away when I asked for papers

At the bank, I told the teller I'd like to open a joint account

She asked "Okay, with whom?"
"With whoever had the most money" I answered

I told my doctor I have a joint problem.

He said, "What is it?"
I said, "Someone stole my w**...."

There's a bipartisan group petitioning for medical m**... as an option for arthritis patients.

In other words, there's joint support for joint support for joint support.

Apparently there is bi-partisan agreement in Congress that medicinal m**... should be allowed for the purpose of relieving arthritic pain.

In other words, there is joint support for joint support for joint support.

My friend and I opened a shared bank account for buying w**....

It'll be our joint account.

Did you hear about a guy who was beaten with a m**... joint?

He suffered blunt force trauma

Snoop Dogg should have given the official response to Trump's Presidential Address to Congress...

He has probably participated in more Joint Sessions than just about anyone.

I met an amputee in a bar

Everyone in the joint called him 'E'. He had been drinking there for a few years every single one of the locals knew him. Apparently he used to be the strongest guy in the town
"Ya know, I can still arm wrestle with the best of them" E said.
To which I replied
"you and what arm, E?"

A Rastaman with a bag full of m**... walks into a bank...

and hands it to a cashier. The angry cashier asks 'Sir, what is this...?' The rasta replies "Wa yah ask foolish question, mi come to open a joint account!!"

Yesterday, both houses of Congress met to debate legalizing m**....

It was a joint session.

m**... businesses in Washington and Colorado are now allowed to use banks..

So long as they open joint accounts.

Two med students are walking down the street...

When they see an older gentleman limping in front of them. Every time he took a step his right foot would shake.
"I bet it is a degenerative nerve damage issue" says the first one.
"It looks more like a hip joint issue" says the second.
They argue for a while and then decide to ask the man what his problem is.
The gentleman listens to them and then he says:
"I thought it was only a f**..."

Hey guys I am making a group where we can share and promote smoking w**...

We shall be called the Joint Forces

Did you hear about the two guys who robbed the m**... dispensary?

It was a joint effort.

If there was a bipartisan push in Congress to legalize medical m**... for arthritis treatment...

there would be joint support for joint support for joint support.

Divorced couples in Colorado are having trouble deciding who gets the m**......

The judges have started issuing joint custody

What is the first thing stoners do after getting married?

Roll their money into joint accounts.

What do you call it when the FBI and DEA do a m**... bust together?

A joint operation.

The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza joint...

The person behind the counter asks, "How can I help you?"
The Dalai Lama replies, "Can you make me one with everything?"

I started a fried chicken joint. In order to be halal, the chickens must be killed in the traditional Islamic manner:

It's pretty hard getting the little explosive-filled vests on them, though.

I was at my divorce settlement yesterday, when I announced I would like to make a suggestion...

They agreed, so I told them, "She can have the car, the house, all the funds in our joint account and full custody of our children on one condition... I get to keep whatever I have in my pocket."
"It's a deal!" my wife said, with a smug look on her face.
"You obviously didn't check the lottery numbers last night, did you?"

My two w**... dealers started working together.

In other words, they engaged in a joint venture.

A FedEx guy knocks on the door....

A FedEx guy knocks on the door. A little kid answers, n**... except underpants, smoking a joint & holding half a bottle of Scotch.
FedEx guy says "Kid, is your mother home?"
The kid says "What do *you* think?"

My mum and dad just named their new puppy Spliff

They said it was a joint decision.

A couple nuclei are chilling in a bar.

One says "let's blow this joint," so they split.

What do you call two people working together to sell m**...?

A joint venture

m**... Possession?

More like joint custody.

My s**... friend rolled a joint using a page from my agenda notebook.

He is high on my list of priorities.

Two police officers walk into a crime scene.

They see two people lying dead on the floor. The victims are holding a piece of w**... each. Their eyes are red and their skin is dry.
One officer turns to the other and says: "Looks like a joint s**...."

I rolled a joint

It was my ankle.

All three of my uncles used to grow w**... together

It was a joint effort.

What do you call when two people roll marihuana together?

A joint effort.

My friend accidentally discovered a foolproof method of getting instant long lashes.

He smoked a joint in Saudi Arabia.

A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...

The steaks were pretty high

The Police Officer took my w**..., but as I had a valid prescription the Judge ordered it returned to me.

I was awarded Joint Custody.

My wife and I spend so much money on arthritis medication and w**... that we made a whole new bank account just for those two things!

It's a joint account

A few partners and myself are planning to open a combination chiropractic office and m**... dispensary.

It's going to be a joint joint joint joint joint.

My wife tried to take away my baby m**... plants from me when we divorced

Thank god the court granted me joint custody

They named a chicken joint Popeye's...

...because they stick it in Olive Oil.

A man in his 60s h**... to a brothel

... constantly shaking from his Parkinson's.
He tells the madam I want 5 girls.
The madam says are you sure? 5 girls might kill you. But the man is adamant and soon enough he's in a room with 5 girls.
Shaking from every joint as he lays on the bed, he tells 2 girls: you two, hold down my arms.
Then he tells 2 more girls: you two, hold down my legs.
Finally, the last one, you get on top.
Now, you 4, let go!

At the bank, I told the cashier, " I would like to open a joint account." .

He enquired, " With whom?"
I answered, " With whomsoever has lots of money."

Joint joke, At the bank, I told the cashier, " I would like to open a joint account." .

jokes about joint

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these joint jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.