The Best 45 Joins Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Joins jokes. There are some joins partake jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these joins enlist puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Joins Jokes and Puns

What do you call a dinosaur who joins the band The Clash?

A StayGosaurus

Nun takes a vow of silence

A woman joins a convent that requires a vow of silence, allowing members only two word a decade.

Ten years go by and the woman tells the head nun, "Room cold." They give her a heater and she goes back to her prayers.

Ten more years go by and she says, "Bed hard." They give her a new mattress and she goes back to her prayers.

Ten more years go by and the woman says, "I quit." The head nun says, "Fine by me. All you've done since you got here is complain."

The whiny monk

A man joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He can only say two words every five years.

After five years, Father Donald says to him, "Brother John, what do you have to say?"

He replies, "Bed hard."

Five more years go by and Father Donald asks him again.

He replies, "Food bad."

Another five years go by and Father Donald asks him again.

This time he replies, "I quit" at which point, Father Donald says, "Good! You've done nothing but complain since you got here!"

Joins joke, The whiny monk

A religious traitor

Son: Dad, what's a religious traitor?

Father: A person who leaves our church and joins another.

Son: And what is a person who leaves another church and joins ours?

Father: A convert, son, a blessed convert.

Lebron James is going to be in Space Jam 2

It's going to be really weird when Lebron quits the Tune Squad and joins up with the Monstars midway through the movie


The famous joke from eastern europe. Depicting a stereotypic slooow estonian character.

An Estonian stands by a railway track.

Another Estonian passes by on a handcar, pushing the pump up and down.

The first one asks: Is it a long way to Tallinn?

Not too long.

He gets on the car and joins pushing the pump up and down.

After two hours of silent pumping the first Estonian asks again: Is it a long way still to Tallinn?

Now, it is very long way to Tallinn.

A straight girl joins the softball team

It could happen.

Joins joke, A straight girl joins the softball team

Did you guys hear the one where the Imam joins the priest and rabbi walking into the bar?

That's because muslims can't drink.

Kanye joins One Direction as a replacement for Zayn...

He kicks everyone out of the band and says: "If there's only one direction, it's West."

A blonde joins a Mexican cartel

The cartel sends her to Colombia to get coke and she brings Pepsi.

It's strange isn't it

It's strange isn't it, you stand in a library and go "Aaaaaargh" and everyone stares at you. Do the same thing on an aeroplane and everyone joins in.

You can explore joins finds reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean joins bloodthirsty dad jokes. There are also joins puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Guy joins the Army...

... but they are out of bayonets and ammo. They tell him to run into battle yelling "Bangitty bangitty bang!!! "Stabbity stabbity stab!"

Much to his surprise, enemy soldiers are dropping all around him.

Then, this really big enemy comes over the hill. The guy yells, "Bangitty bangitty bang!!! "Stabbity stabbity stab!", but the enemy keeps advancing and mows him down. As the enemy walks over him, he hears him shout, "Tankitty tankitty tank!"

Past& Sees Her.

Susie is a prostitute who doesn't want her gran to know. One day Police raid the brothel & line up the girls outside.The gran walks past& sees her.Quick thinking Susie tells her its a queue for free oranges, so her gran joins the queue. When the Police get to gran, they're surprised& ask her 'how do u do it at your age?'she replies ,I take my teeth out, peel back the skin& suck 'em until they're dry.

A nacho enters the stomach

A nacho enters the stomach, lays down near the duodenum and falls asleep. A chunk of pizza also arrives and falls asleep too. Then a shot of tequila joins and says: We're having such a party up there and you prefer to just sleep here? Get up, we're going back.

A man is trying to join a country club with a history of racism

The head of the club says "you may have heard of our reputation, and it does affect who joins". He pulls out a revolver and says "go shoot five black people and one rabbit"

"Why do i have to shoot a rabbit?" Says the man.

"You'll fit in well here" says the head.

Best explanation of Star Wars

The story of an orphaned boy who becomes radicalised after a military strike kills his family. He is indoctrinated into an ancient religion, joins a band of rebel insurgents, and carries out a terrorist attack which kills 300'000 people.

Joins joke, Best explanation of Star Wars

DIVING WITHOUT EQUIPMENT

Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear.
The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him.
The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?"
The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"

What happens when Hitler joins nofap?

My struggle.

Three men are arguing about when exactly life begins?

The first man says "at the time of conception",

The second man argues that it is "actually at the time of birth".

Finally the third man joins in and says "oh no. Life actually begins when the wife takes the children and they all leave for vacation"


What do you call it when a Hispanic man joins the CIA?

Puerto Recon

A telecoms engineer joins the army...

On the shooting range the Sergeant shows him the distant target and tells him to fire six rounds, which he does. The Sarge walks all the way to the target and shouts back "You haven't hit it at all!" The telecoms guy puts his finger over the end of the barrel, pulls the trigger and blows his finger clean off and shouts back:- "It's leaving here ok - the problem must be at your end!"

Two pilots are sitting in the cockpit, talking, when they realize they are flying over a huge crater.


"Wow, what a beautiful sight," says the first pilot.
"It is, isn't it?" the other pilot replies.
Then a flight attended joins them.
"Sir, what are we flying over?" she asks the first pilot.
"It's a crater. A meteor crashed into the earth and left that giant hole."
"Wow," replies the flight attendant. "And what's that building right next to it?"
"That's the visitors center," the second pilot says.
"Phew," she says. "They really got lucky, didn't they?"

A database professional walks into a bar

And joins two tables.

How does a fish get educated

It just joins others and form a school.

I'm free! I'm free!

A prisoner is finally released, after many years in jail. He stands at the pavement, yelling, "I'm free! I'm free!" - A little kid walks up to him happily and joins, I'm four! I'm four!"

Mike joins a new school.

After school is over he returns home to his mother.

Mom: So Mike, how was your day today?

Mike: It was great! We learned about explosive materials in our lab today.

Mom: That sounds interesting, so what will you learn in school tomorrow?

Mike: What school?

What do you call a tech geek you joins the wrong group of friends

A miss-clique

A blonde joins a book club.

She goes along to the first meeting and it's her turn to share what she's been reading this week.

"Well, it took me a while to finish, but this was a brilliant read and I highly recommend it". She pulls out a bookmark and shows it to the group.

One of the members says, "Um... That's not a book"

"What are you talking about? Mark at the library gave me this when I asked him for a book!"

*HAPPY FATHER'S DAY...*

A new teacher Joins school... She finds two boys looking very similar in appearance...

Teacher asks:- " Twins...???"

Boy:- No... *"NEIGHBOURS"*

A mum, dad and their son walk into a pub.

After a few drinks, the dad jumps up onto a table and starts reciting quotes from Shakespeare to his wife. The wife joins in, and responds with, "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" Then they dramatically kiss, as the whole pub stops and watches.

The son lifts his face from his palms and says, "Please... mum, dad... you're making a scene".

A wallhacker joins a COD game,

he comes a cross this one guy who is pretending to be a soldier. The soldier says "Alright, men. We need to step it up", the wallhacker replies: "I don't see any men here, just a bunch of squares."

Neil arms weak

Neil joins gym
Neil does chin ups
Neil Armstrong

What do you call a musician who joins the military

A Major

Chuck Norris joins the caravan

Now it's a ram

A man joins the mob and becomes the personal assistant to the Godfather

One day he receives a text message from the boss. "I've been having problems with my wife. Please pull the plug and then call someone in to take care of the matter."

The man knows better than to question the Godfather, so he dutifully carries out the command. He shoots the boss's wife, and then calls in the clean up crew.

But a short while later, he receives another message. "Stupid autocorrect. I meant wifi."

Bernie Sanders joins list of 2020 Democratic Presidential candidates.

Err sorry, typo. That should be:
Bernie Sanders joins list of 2,020 Democratic Presidential candidates.

Not for you

A Christian Armenian man walking by the border of Armenia and Iran sees a few Iranian men pushing a car stuck in a ditch. Every time the Iranian men push they yell allah akbar! 1.. 2... 3... Allah akbarrr! As the Armenian man joins in pushing the car, the Iranians are surprised to hear the Christian man also yell allah akbar. One Iranian man says allah is our god not yours, why do you call on his name? The Armenian man replies "I'm not going to work my god for your ass"

A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee.

On his very first day of work, he dials the pantry and shouts into the phone, "Get me a coffee, quickly!"The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?""No," replied the trainee."It's the CEO of the company, you fool!"The trainee shouts back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?!""No," replied the CEO indignantly."Good!" replied the trainee, and slams down the phone.

An electrical current joins the air force

He was too afraid to fly over enemy ohmland because he was worried he'd be grounded.

A nun joins a monastery...

She vows to say only two words every year.

After the first year she approaches the mother and says "bed hard". The mother nods and sends her away.

After the second year she approaches the mother and says "food bad". The mother nods and sends her away.

After the third year she approaches the mother and says "I quit".

The mother replies "Good! Because all you've done is bitch since you got here"

A Scientologist, a Catholic, and a Mormon are talking about their families.

The Scientologist jokes, "I've got 4 kids. One more and I'll have a basketball team!" The Catholic joins in and says, "Well I've got 10 kids, and one more I'll have a football team!". The Mormon speaks up and deadpans. "I've got 17 wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."

a murderer joins a party

he killed the mood instantly

24 Shots

A bar holds a drinking contest to see who can drink 24 shots of Scotch in an hour? A man walks in, is invited to join in, and promptly leaves. He comes back an hour later, joins the contest and wins.

When asked where he went, he replies, "I had to go across the street to another bar to see if I could do it first."

A man joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence

He is told by the abbot that on the anniversary of his vow, he can speak one sentence. A year goes by and on the first anniversary, the monk says: "My bed is uncomfortable."

Another years goes by. On the anniversary, the monk tells the abbot: "The food is cold."

Yet another year goes by, and this time the monk says: "It's drafty in my cell."


The abbot throws up his hands. "Bitch, bitch, bitch, is that all you can do?!"

Translated (badly) Goulash is sitting and relaxing in the stomach...

Goulash is sitting and relaxing in the stomach, when suddenly a tequila falls in. He shrug it off and continue to relax, but after a while a rum falls in and join them.

He do some smalltalk but in general isn't much interested, so he continue to relax on his own. Then vodka falls in and joins.

He clearly annoyed by all this commotion asks "what the hell is going on up there?"

"You don't know? There is this huge party" says the vodka.

"Yeah? I need to check it out." says the goulash as he starts climbing up.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the joins overhear jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working joins hears piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes