Join Jokes
128 join jokes and hilarious join puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about join that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Learn the basics of the SQL join operation to help you enlist and enroll with affiliate programs. Discover how to join jokes to bring your conversations with friends and family to life!
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Funniest Join Short Jokes
Short join jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The join humour may include short merge jokes also.
- Caitlyn Jenner becomes a super hero but doesn't know what group to join... She's still deciding whether to be an Ex-men or a Trans-former
- Justin Timberlake announces that he will be joining the war in Ukrain. Early reports suggest that he will be stationed somewhere along the Crimea river
- Why aren't color blind people allowed to join the police force? They wouldn't know who to shoot
- I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in roman numeral I M LIVID
- Glad to see my Buddhist friends join and chant in the protests Everyone knows the more Ohms- the greater the resistance.
- The other day I joined all my watches together to make a belt... ...but then I realised it was a waist of time.
- I regret joining the gym recently.. leaving the EU would've been a more effective way to lose pounds
- I joined a religion where flatbread tells us about god. Its a naan prophet organization.
I have no idea why this was the first thing my brain did when I woke up this morning. - My girlfriend asked me why I was sitting with the eggs... I couldn't find my whisk, and if you can't beat them, you might as well join them...
- I wanted to join the Yakuza, but I got it mixed it up with Jacuzzi . Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
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Join One Liners
Which join one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with join? I can suggest the ones about associate and membership.
- I joined ISIS to help my self esteem issues. Everyone kept telling me You're the bomb.
- I just joined a gym for religious minorities. Jehova's Fitness
- What would you call the Fantastic Four if snoop dogg joined the team? The High Five
- How do you get Americans to join a world war? Tell them it's nearly finished.
- A Robber entered my home in hopes of finding money..... I joined the search with him.
- Did you hear about the Mexican racist? Hey tried to join the que que que.
- A girl asked me if I wanted to join her in yoga at 6 am I told her, "namaste in bed".
- If Iron Man and the silver Surfer Joined Forces They would become alloys
- I'm really excited about the new autopsy club I just joined. Tuesday is Open Mike night.
- I joined a dating sight for arsonist's… They sent me a lot of matches.
- I recently joined a nudist colony. The first few days were the hardest.
- Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang? Atmospheric Pressure.
- I like to sleep with a fan on me at night. It's why I'm divorcing my wife to join a band
- How easy is it to tell a joke 1 year after joining Reddit? A piece of cake.
- What's the best way to serve Turkey? Join the Turkish Army.
Join Mexicans Jokes
Here is a list of funny join mexicans jokes and even better join mexicans puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A blonde joins a Mexican cartel The cartel sends her to Colombia to get coke and she brings Pepsi.
- What group do Mexican racists join? The Que Que Que.
- My dog decided to join the Mexican Wrestling circuit. I guess it was his dream to become a Puchador.
- After a trip to Barcelona, Trump is asked why he thinks Catalonia wants to separate. "I figured since they are all speaking Mexican they want to join Mexico."
- Our lead programmer is Mexican, she recently gave birth To a set of conjoined twins. It was a Juan to Manny join.
- I hear a lot of black men are joining the Mexican Cartel.... I guess it takes Jaun to know De'Quan
- Anyone else want to join my all Mexican tribute band? We are called Juan Direction.
Sql Join Jokes
Here is a list of funny sql join jokes and even better sql join puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A SQL developer walks into a bar... He approaches two tables and asks, "May I join you
- An SQL query walks into a bar ... Walks up to two tables and says: "CAN I JOIN YOU?"
- For the geeks An SQL query walks into a bar and sees two tables. He walks up to them and says 'Can i join you?'
- An SQL query walks into a bar. Looking around, he sees a pair of tables. Going up to them, he asks, "Excuse me, but do you mind if I join you?"
Great Join Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about join you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jump jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make join pranks.
I couldn't join the k**... if I wanted to, my bloodline isn't pure enough.
Turns out my parents weren't even related.
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when
a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey Hey! what are you doing? The monkey says Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so s**... that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the s**... lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, What's the matter with you?! The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says Hey, MONKEY! The Monkey looks down and says FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink?
The usher in church greets one of their members...
and says "Welcome! You need to join the army of the Lord!"
The member says,"I am in the Lord's army".
The usher asked,"Then why do I only see you on Christmas and Easter?"
The member leaned over and whispered,"I'm in the Secret Service."
A little lizard
A little lizard is walking through the jungle one day and spots a koala bear up in a tree.
"Hey, what are you doing?" asks the little lizard. Koala bear replies, "I'm getting high, come up and join me."
So the little lizard climbs the tree and shares a joint with the koala bear. Pretty soon the little lizard gets thirsty, he spots the river and says he's going to go get a drink. So the little lizard climbs down the tree, walks over to the river and as he is drinking he ends up falling in. An alligator saw this and rushes over to help the little lizard out of the water.
"What the heck are you doing?" asks the alligator.
"Well, I was getting high with the koala bear in the tree and then I got thirsty and then...."
"Whoa, wait a minute. You were getting high with a koala bear? I've got to see this." Says the alligator as he goes walking off into the jungle.
The alligator spots the koala bear in the tree and shouts up "Hey, what are you doing up there?"
The koala bear looks down and says "Shiiiiiiiiiiit, Dude, how much water did you drink?"
I tried joining the American Paralympics team
didn't make it in though. entry costs an arm and a leg.
Vow of Silence
Chap decides to to join a monastery. As a novice he is only allowed to speak two words to the prior, once every 7 years.
The first seven years go by and he whispers, "Cold floors..."
The next seven years go by and he whispers, "Bad food..."
Seven more years go by and he croaks, "I quit!"
The prior raises his eyebrows and replies, "I'm not surprised. You've done nothing but complain since you joined."
A child asks his grandmother, "Grandma, whats it called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?"
The grandmother replies, "Why, that's called s**... i**...". The boy considers this, then runs outside to join his friends. A short time later the boy runs back inside and says, "Grandma, you were wrong, its called bunk beds, and Billy's Mom wants to talk to you.
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint...
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey Hey! what are you doing? The monkey says Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so s**... that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the s**... lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, What's the matter with you?! The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says Hey, MONKEY! The Monkey looks down and says FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink?
Two old guys in a supermarket wandering about, looking lost...
One says to the other "Lost the other half?"
"Yup" he replies.
"Me too. Let's join forces to find them. What does yours look like?"
"She's 25, six foot blonde, 36 double-D, long boots and a short skirt".
"Good. We'll look for yours first".
Network administrator
A network administrator decided to join the military, and as part of his basic training, he went out on the rifle range.
After taking a hundred shots and missing every one, the man's DI (drill instructor) came by to see what was wrong.
"What's the matter with you?" he asked. "Why can't you hit the target? What were you in civilian life?"
"I was a network administrator," replied the new recruit, "and I don't know why I can't hit the target. Let me see..."
The recruit checked his rifle, checked his rifle again, and checked his rifle a third time. He then put his finger in front of the muzzle, pulled the trigger, and blew the end of his finger off.
"Well," the he said, writhing in pain, "the bullets are leaving here fine. The trouble must be on the other end!"
21, 21, 21
A brunette is standing on some train tracks, jumping from track to track saying, "21, 21, 21..."
A blonde walks up and sees the brunette. She watches her antics for a while and decides to join in, jumping from track to track saying, "21, 21, 21..."
A train comes, and the brunette hops off the tracks just in time to see the blonde get smeared. She waits patiently for the train to pass, then gets back onto the tracks jumping from track to track saying, "22, 22, 22..."
Please join me. My daughter an I did this for hours one day.
Zombie phlebotomist, veinnnnns.
Zombie engineer, traaaaiiins.
Zombie Dixie Chicks fan, Natalie Maiiiinns.
My rubbish dog joke.
A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please'.
The barman says, 'Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!'
The dog replies, 'Why? Do they need electricians?'
A dog goes into a hardware store...
...and says: I'd like a job please . The hardware store owner says: We don't hire talking dogs, why don't you go join the circus? The dog replies: What would the circus want with a plumber .
-Steven Alan Green
Why did they let the chicken join the band?
Because he brought his own drumsticks
Turned up five minutes late so missed the rules...
...but I had an amazing time at this fight club last week, you should definitely look into it and maybe join, we fight in a car park every weekend.
Ask me if you can join the pee club...
Do it!
After joining the submarine forces of the Navy, I was guaranteed that I would be stationed on a nuclear-powered submarine by an Admiral.
Unfortunately, when I received my order I found out that my post would be a navigator on a Diesel-powered sub with no nuclear capability.
When I approached my command to complain, I was told that this happened all the time and would soon sort itself out - a moderator would soon move my post to the correct sub.
I saw two black kids spraying their names on a wall today.
I decided to join them. I'd only sprayed the first three letters of my name when they started to beat me up.
Maybe they don't like people called Nigel.
The man at the circus.
A man is going to the circus to look for work. The man finds the manager in his caravan and asks him if he could get a job at the circus.
Oh, so you're looking to join the circus then? Tell me, what can you do?
I can mimic a bird, the man says proudly.
Hah, scoffs the manager, every single person at this circus can mimic a bird, even the slow stable boy, that's not anything we'd want here at this circus.
Oh well, says the man and flew out the window.
Don't join dangerous cults
Practice safe sects
2 surgeons are sitting down having lunch.
They are both engaged in a conversation when all of a sudden, one of the surgeons starts laughing hysterically. A dermatologist walks over to their table to join them. He asked the surgeons, "what's so funny?" One of the surgeons replies, " you wouldn't understand. It's an inside joke. "
A dog walks into a bar
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender "A pint of beer please." The bartender says "Wow that's amazing! You should join the circus!" The dog then replies "Why? Do they need electricians?"
How do you convince America to join a war?
Tell them its almost over
At university I was going to join the debating class...
...but someone talked me out of it
Join the war against m**...!!!
We can beat it together!!!
All the mathematical functions went to a party...
There they saw the exponential function sitting by himself
They poked him, "c'mon man, join the party"
To which he replied, "it's not my fault, eveytime I try to integrate, I just end up with myself"
A woman collapsed on the street
Her husband, luckily, was able to catch her in time.
"Is anyone here a doctor!?" The husband shouted with sheer panic in his tone.
A man barreled through the onlooking crowd, knocking a few of them over to join the husband and wife.
"I'm a vegan!" The man said.
Google+ is like the gym of social networking.
We all join it, but nobody uses it.
I joined a forum for people with Down syndrome.
Comments are disabled.
Today I made this one without knowing it at first...
I always keep forgetting unimportant things and my friend asked me: "Does someone in your family have alzheimer?"
Me: "Not that I would know..."
My friends starts laughing, I realize why and join in.
Why I Joined the Air Force
The DOD was conducting an all service briefing and the leader posed this question.
What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?
A sailor said, I'd step on it.
A soldier said, I'd squash it with my boot.
A marine said, I'd catch it, break the stinger off, and eat it.
An Airman said. I'd call room service and find out why there's a tent in my room.
A man went to China.
He hired a p**... to keep him company during the night, and when things got serious, she kept shouting a word in Chinese.
The next day, the man went to a golf course with a couple of business associates. They had a good afternoon until a person hit a hole in one. Everyone started shouting in excitement, and the man decided to join in, shouting the word he hears last night, thinking it was that of excitement.
Everyone turned to the man in silence. After a full minute of awkward silence, the one who made the shot asked "What do you mean, wrong hole?"
I just bought a Dalmatian puppy...
And I've found out that if you join all the dots together with a marker pen...
It doesn't wash off...
How do you get America to join a World War?
Tell them it's almost over.
As a young boy I always wanted to join a violent gang
Just got accepted into police training, who says dreams don't come true.
My mom told me to go join ISIS...
She says I could learn how to claim responsibility for once
I think I want to take up acting...
Does anyone know of a local soccer league I could join?
There's an old man on his deathbed...
... sensing his time is near he beckens for his wife to join his side. She sits down next to him and clutches his hand and leans in to hear what he has to say.
In a shakey voice he says: "Maybel, when I die, I want you to marry Jenkins."
Taken back a moment, she looks at her husband and says: "Jenkins?! Why, I thought you hated him!"
The old man cackles and in his last breath he says "AND I STILL DO!"
A Scotsman is walking down the street when he spots two guys fighting. Without a second thought, he marches over to them, splits them apart and says...
"Is this a private fight or can anyone join in?"
I want to join an anxiety club...
But I'm afraid they won't accept me.
In USSR we had this joke
An old Jew is on his deathbed. With weak voice he asks to call for a partorg because before his death he wants to join the Communist Party. A happy partorg rushes to him with filled out membership form to sign and a ready Party membership card. As the Jew signs the form he carefully takes the membership card and presses it against his heart.
In a peaceful and happy voice he whispers: "Today one more communist will die"
50Cent says Trump offered him $500,000 to join presidential campaign
Only Trump would pay $500k for $0.50
Such a deal maker.
Which armed forces do horses join?
The neigh-vy
Pi said to i, "Get real!"
"Be rational!" responds i.
Finally, e breaks them up as it said "Join me, and we'll become one."
>e^pi ^i + 1 = 0
Why wasn't the hammer allowed to join the party of seven other tools?
Cause he was tool eight.
When I joined the army to fight the cannibals, I was a fresh recruit.
But by the end I was a seasoned veteran
Man and his wife join a weight loss club. They're told to try and lose at least 2 pounds by the next week.
When they return after a week the mentor asks them how much they lost.
The wife begins, "I lost 10 pounds".
"That's amazing! Well done, and you?" He says, pointing at the husband.
"Well, I actually gained 10 pounds", the husband responds.
"Oh, that's no good at all. How did that happen?" asks the mentor.
"I bet my wife a tenner she wouldn't lose any weight this week".
When I joined the Botswana Men's Choir, at first I was shy around everyone
But then we all just clicked.
What grades do you need to join the navy?
7 C's
what does it feel like to join a s**... bomb squad?
I don't know, you'll have to C4 yourself!
My girlfriend won't let me s**... her during foreplay
So I glued her b**... together. Well I guess if you can't beat them, join them!
Sunrise Yoga
I'm on vacation with my wife and she asks me do you want to join me for sunrise yoga tomorrow?
I replied 'namaste in bed'
Chris Brown came out as transgendered today
He figures if he can't beat em may as well join em
If you know anyone who wants to join the debate team
You should try to talk them out of it.
A data analyst walks into a bar and sees two tables..
So he goes over to them and says; "Hey guys, can I join you?"
My girlfriend said she wanted our first s**... experience together to be like a fairytale.
So I invited seven midgets to join in.
I started a Facebook group for people who love bicycling
But apparently nobody wants to join the Pedalphiles.
A bass player dies and goes to h**...
when he gets there, he's surprised to find Keith Moon immediately greeting him.
Hey man, you've gotta join our band. We've got Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar, and Im on drums
the bassist looks confused and says wait, this is h**... right? that sounds awesome!
well satan's got a girlfriend who sings
I joined a gym and said to the trainer, I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?
He said, Try the ATM outside.
I've joined an online dating agency for arsonists.
They send me new matches every week.
A doctor received a call from his colleague.
"We need a fourth to join us for a game of golf," said his friend. "I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.
As he was putting his pants on, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"
"Oh yes, quite serious," he answered gravely. "In fact, they are three doctors there already."
Sean Connery arrives at a grand hotel ready for filming the next day
The director meets him, and is delighted "great to see you, Sean, its an honour to have you join us for this project" he says.
"The pleasure is mine" Sean replies, "though it's been a long drive and I'm tired. Is my room ready?"
"Of course, of course, I have your key right here", he says handing over the key. "I appreciate its quite late so we'll have a bit of a later start tomorrow. Are you happy to meet us in the lobby for ten-ish?"
"Tennish?" asks Sean, "but I didn't even bring my racket!"
... An old joke in honor of the great man.
Trump Supporters are demanding to join the LGBTQ+ community.
They say they identify as Non-Bidenary
A Macaroni, a Penne and a Spaghetti were drinking wine in a bar one evening. They saw a noodle sitting by himself and discussed inviting him to join them.
They all agreed he looked Cannelloni.
EDIT; Thank you for all the awards, I guess I pasta test!
A blonde was walking through the woods...
... when she saw a brunette on some train tracks. She watched her for a few minutes, trying to understand what she was doing. The brunette was hopping from one track to the other, saying "38, 38, 38..."
After a little while, the blonde decides to join the brunette, hopping from track to track, saying "38, 38, 38..."
They do this for a few more minutes until there is a train coming. The brunette jumps off the tracks, just in time for the blonde to get smeared.
After the train passes, the brunette hops back onto the tracks, saying, "39, 39, 39..."
Anybody interested in a free ride in a helicopter for 4 people? I'm still looking for 2 more adults to join me and my wife.
We leave early Saturday morning (Feb 6th) from New York and will fly to Boston , where we will have breakfast, then have lunch on a friend's yacht.
Then we'll do a flight along the coast, up to Cape Elizabeth returning to Boston for dinner, then fly back home. If interested, please message me.
Preferably someone with a helicopter and yacht, otherwise we can't go.
A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat.
He says to the barman, "Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please?" The barman says, "Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!" The dog replies, "Why? Do they need electricians?"
