Johnson Jokes

Funniest Johnson Short Jokes

Short johnson jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The johnson humour may include short gneiss jokes also.

1. Why did Dwayne 'the rock' Johnson's family get tested for COVID-19 They couldn't smell what the rock was cooking.
2. Camouflage training at the military Captain: I DIDN'T SEE YOU AT THE CAMOUFLAGE training TODAY JOHNSON!!
   Johnson: Thank you sir!
3. My friend at work got the Johnson and Johnson vaccine and said he didn't feel too good the next day I told him, "What do you expect from taking two Johnsons at once?"
4. My son asked if he could meet the British Prime Minister I said "Boris Johnson? Liz Truss will probably be too busy. What do you want to meet Rishi Sunak for anyway?"
5. I misplaced Dwayne Johnson's cutting tool for the origami workshop... I can't believe I lost the Rock's Paper
   Scissors...
6. Casting Dwayne Johnson in a movie is a bold decision... Casting The Rock is a boulder decision.
7. I was cornered by Dwayne Johnson in front of a Hallmark store. I was caught between The Rock and a card place.
8. The lockdown is costing us billions every day! Should we really push this debt on the next generation? Let me remind you of the average age of a Tory voter. We can not afford to lose them.
9. At an AC/DC concert... Brian Johnson: You guys ready to rock?
   Crowd: YESSSSSS
   Brian Johnson: I can't hear you!
10. Dwayne Johnson and his family all contracted COVID.. They figured it out when they couldn't smell what the rock was cooking.

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Johnson One Liners

Which johnson one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with johnson? I can suggest the ones about magic johnson and sedimentary.

1. How does The Rock pee? He Dwaynes his Johnson.
2. Why does eminem prefer the Johnson & Johnson vaccine? You only get one shot…
3. What do Irish people call a Dwayne Johnson impersonator? A Sham-Rock
4. Does Dwayne Johnson purchase bulk shears? No.
   The Rock pay per scissors
5. Why is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson always so sad? Everyone takes him for granite.
6. Who decided to call it "Dwayne Johnson's wrestling Career" instead of... Classic Rock?
7. What's Boris Johnson's favourite TV show? Deal or No Deal
8. I was at Boris Johnson's lockdown party It was pretty conservative.
9. If you give Dwayne Johnson a spanking... It means you've just hit Rock bottom.
10. What do Boris Johnson and Tottenham Hotspur have in common? An empty cabinet
11. Who's the one person Medusa cannot turn to stone? Dwayne Johnson
12. What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson? The Wok.
13. TIL: of mathematician Katherine Johnson who died at 101 years old She was in her prime.
14. Why is Dwayne Johnson the bravest man alive? Because he's Boulder than all the rest!
15. What do you call Dwayne Johnson on the moon? A moon rock

Dwayne Johnson Jokes

Here is a list of funny dwayne johnson jokes and even better dwayne johnson puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I never realised Dwayne Johnson lived in the apartment above us. All this time we had been living under a rock.
• i just realized Dwayne Johnson was living above my appartment. i was living under The Rock for a very long time.
• You know, Dwayne Johnson was always a special kid... In third grade, all the other kids drew a family tree. Little dwayne made a family quarry.
• A few years ago, I used to live next door to both Dwayne Johnson and the pop group that sang 'Take On Me'. I was stuck between a Rock and A-ha's place.
• You know, the saddest thing about Dwayne Johnson's success as a movie actor is how he's completely forgotten his brothers who got him there. Paper and Scissors.
• Why do movies with Kevin Hart and Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson pairing do well in the box office? Because they have a little Hart and a big Johnson
• What do Dwayne Johnson impersonators and three-leaf clovers have in common? They're both shamrocks.
• I remember once I was forced to choose between Dwayne Johnson and a lifetime supply of frozen fish. I was stuck between a Rock and a hard plaice.
• What happened to vin diesel when Dwayne Johnson pinned him against a brick wall? He found himself between The Rock and a hard place.
• Why doesn't Dwayne Johnson's downstairs neighbor understand references to current events? He's been living under The Rock.

Boris Johnson Jokes

Here is a list of funny boris johnson jokes and even better boris johnson puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• As the finances of rishi sunak’s wife come under intense media scrutiny, Boris Johnson says if everyone could keep talking about it until about January that’d be great.
• But are we sure Rishi will have the resources to pay the fine? Boris will clearly borrow it from a donor.
• What's the difference between a point in a distribution whose value is much higher than the rest and Boris Johnson? One is an outlier to the right, the other is an outright liar.
• I used to think that Boris Johnson getting corona must be the irony of the century. However, it just got trumped.
• Great Britains new Prime Minister Did you see that Boris Johnson might be the next Prime Minister of Great Britain? I remember when the U.S. had a BJ in the top office!
• Boris Johnson said everything would be back to normal on 21st June Julyed
• Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin and Boris Johnson walk into a room...Oh God. This isn't even a joke anymore. Help
• Yesterday, UK protesters tore down monuments of Boris Johnson and Theresa May Lawyers assume that they will be charged for a statue-tory crime
• Boris ventilator joke Boris Johnson joked to senior company bosses that the scheme to build more ventilators in such a short time frame could be called 'Operation Last Gasp'.
• Why did Boris Johnson Brexit? Because just imagine the baby he'd have made if he hadn't pulled out of Angela Merkel!

Magic Johnson Jokes

Here is a list of funny magic johnson jokes and even better magic johnson puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Kobe was one of the best Lakers players of all time But Magic Johnson was definitely the most positive.
• There's nothing scarier then a mosquito coming out of Magic Johnson's house
• That's magic... I saw Magic Johnson yesterday, so I shook his hand and said, "How do you
  do, Magic?"
  He replied, "No idea , basketball's more my thing."
• Why does Magic Johnson love the life he lives? Because he went from Negative to Positive.
• Magic Johnson walks into the mirror portion of a fun house... Visual Aids.
• Girl do you play basketball? Because I hear you can make Magic with my Johnson.
• Why did basketball players switch to longer shorts? Because you couldn't see Larry's Bird but you could see Magic's Johnson.
• Magic used to say Byrd could play like he had 3 legs. Yep. Something Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul and Wilt know a lot about.
• Why did Kareem Abdul-Jabbar give up being a Wizard? Cuz he got jealous every time his wife asked to ride his Magic Johnson
• Did you know that Magic Johnson was in the video for Michael Jackson's Remember The Time? Maybe that's why I now have hearing aids....

Big Johnson Jokes

Here is a list of funny big johnson jokes and even better big johnson puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I heard that for his role in the Baywatch movie Dwayne Johnson dropped down to 238 lbs from 260 lbs so he could look more ripped than 'big'. I guess that would make him a metamorphic Rock.
• Down With Big *Johnson*!

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Johnson Jokes

What funny jokes about johnson you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean boulder jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make johnson pranks.