The Best 24 Johns Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Johns jokes. There are some johns bobbitt jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these johns john deere tractor puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Johns Jokes and Puns

Johnson & Johnson have hired Eminem as a celebrity spokesperson for their COVID vaccine.

Because you only get one shot.


Johns girlfriend comes running into the house, obviously upset, goes to the bedroom and starts packing her clothes.
John comes in and asks "Honey, what's going on?
She says"I'm leaving you!"
"Leaving me?! Why?!" John asks.
She replies "I just found out you are a pedophile"
John says "Pedophile? That's a big word for a 12 year old"

Steve and John are watching the football when Johns dog starts licking its nuts. Steve says "i wish I could do that"

To which John replies "probably best to pat him first or he might bite ya"

Johns joke, Steve and John are watching the football when Johns dog starts licking its nuts. Steve says "i wish

Mr. Johnson walked into a movie theater and sat down next to a dog who was at the theater with his owner.

Much to Mr. Johnson's astonishment, the dog laughed at the funny parts, cried at the sad parts, booed at the villain's wicked deeds, and cheered at the hero's heroics.

When they left the theater, Mr. Johnson told the dog owner, "Your dog's reactions to that movie were amazing!"

"I thought so too!" replied the dog owner. "He hated the book."

Silly Grandad

Johns Grandad comes over to look after him for the day. John goes outside and plays with the neighbors kid, a bit later he comes in and asks "Grandad, whats it called when two people sleep in one room one on top of the other?" Grandad replies "I've got to be honest with you, you are 8 now, its called intercourse and thats how you make babys." ten minutes later John returns "Freds mum said its called bunkbeds, and she needs a word with you"

Mr. Johnson walk into a doctor's office and says, "My farts never smell."

He lets out a very loud fart and says, "See? It doesn't smell."

The doctor goes to his closet and takes out a pole with a hook on the end.

Mr. Johnson is understandably terrified. "What are you gonna do with that thing?"

"I'm just going to open the window," says the doctor. "And by the way, I think there's something wrong with your nose."

Mr. Johnson was playing in his frontyard with his fav grandson Toby when he saw Toby's teacher approaching

Mr. Johnson : "Toby go hide now, boy. It's your teacher. Aren't you skipping school?"

Toby : "Oh no! You go hide grandpa! Quick! Now!"

Mr. Johnson "Why should I? You're the one skipping school here!"

Toby : "That's the problem, grandpa. I told Mr. Anderson you died this morning. That's why i'm skipping school"

Johns joke, Mr. Johnson was playing in his frontyard with his fav grandson Toby when he saw Toby's teacher appro

TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Jimmy Johns

Oops... Wrong sub.

I'll see myself out.

Mr Johnson walked into a doctor's office and said, "My farts never smell."

"Okay", said the doctor. "Fart for me." So Mr. Johnson gave a very loud fart.

The doctor left the office and came back with a very long pole with a hook on the end.

Mr. Johnson was terrified. "What are you gonna do with that thing?" he asked.

"I'm going to open the window," said the doctor. "You see, the problem is with your nose."

Why did a pregnant lady walk into Jimmy Johns?

They promised freaky fast delivery

Did you hear? LeBron James is starting an underwear line...

They're called LeBron Johns.

You can explore johns joe reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean johns robert dad jokes. There are also johns puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Johnson&Johnson are working on a new type of tinnitus treatment

Its an experimental mop.

I work in construction and my name's John. I ran into another guy named John on a job, and he told me, "You know what they say, when you've got 2 Johns on a project...

you never have to wait in line.

Many people don't know this but Papa Johns wasn't the first pizza place with a racist CEO.

It was actually Hunt Brothers.

Why didn't Johnson Space Center in Houston get one of the retired Space Shuttle orbiters?

Because Texas already got Columbia.

New Jimmy Johns stickers at work.

our new sandwhich stickers say "i woke up like this". I am puzzled. Our bread is pretty hard, did it wake up hard? whats going on here, and what is this sub trying to communicate to me. i thought this was platonic.

Johns joke, New Jimmy Johns stickers at work.

What's the most common pizza chain in the Vatican

Papal Johns

TIFU by ordering something new at Jimmy Johns

Oops, wrong sub

How do you know if a person is horrible?

The Johns make appointments.

I called and ordered a large pepperoni pizza from Papa Johns. They asked if I wanted to Papa Size it. I said no...

Just a large.

I heard Papa John is getting into another business....

Paper Johns

The hard -er seems right up his alley.

My wife told me 6 inches isn't enough

My wife told me
6 inches isn't enough
12 inches is too much
8 inches is just right.
So skip subway and stop at Jimmy Johns

Papa johns missed a great opportunity with the phrase "pizzagate"

It could've been like "ARE they better ingredients??"

Whats Lil' Johns Favorite magazine?


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the johns john deer jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working johns john deere piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes