Johnnie Jokes
7 johnnie jokes and hilarious johnnie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about johnnie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Delightful Fun Johnnie Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What is a good johnnie joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny saw two dogs having s**... in the park...
... so he asks his mother what's going on.
The mom isn't ready to have "that talk" yet, so she makes up a story. "Well, Johnny," she says, "the d**... in the back hurt its front paws, so the one in the front is helping him get home."
Johnny thinks about that for a moment and then says, "Wow, so dogs are just like people, aren't they?"
The mom is puzzled by that. "What do you mean, Johnny?"
"Well," says Johnnie, "you try to help someone and you just end up getting s**...."
Johnnie Walker, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam walk into a bar
What is this, said the bartender, Alcoholics Eponymous?
The teacher asked little Johnnie if he had ever seen a humming bird...
Little Johnnie said, "No, but one time I saw a spelling bee."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
the teacher was telling the students how their town would get 100% eclipse coverage
when Johnnie said, ''that s**... cause we will be visiting family down in Texas, so I won't get to see the eclipse in its full glory.''
Lindsey said, '' don't worry Johnny! when your mom stands in front of the sun you'll get 100% eclipse coverage wherever you are!
Jack Daniels, George Dickel, Johnnie Walker and Jim Beam are at a bar.
They get drunk.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a lawyer with gonorrhea?
Johnnie c**...-run.
(oc)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Kindergarten
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting, and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude, but eventually his turn came.
Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well, the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was.
It's a period, reported Johnnie.
Well I can see that, she said, But what is so exciting about a period.
d**... if I know, said Johnnie, But this morning my sister said she missed one. Then, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself.
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