John Deere Tractor Jokes
10 john deere tractor jokes and hilarious john deere tractor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about john deere tractor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Uproarious John Deere Tractor Jokes to Share with Friends
What is a good john deere tractor joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Did you hear about the farmer whose wife left him for a traveling tractor salesman?
She wrote him a John Deere letter.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Farmer Joe decides to go down the road to visit his friend Eb.
When he arrives at Eb's farm he hears music coming from Eb's barn.
Going to take a look Joe finds Eb dancing n**... around his John Deer!
Taking a step back Joe asks Eb what the heck he's doing?
Eb explains, "Well to be honest me and my woman's been having problems in the bedroom, so we went to see a s**... therapist. I'm just doing what she suggested."
"Do something s**... to a tractor!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bubba and Earl
Earl walks into Bubba's barn and finds Bubba dancing n**... in front of his John Deere. Earl says "Bubba what are you doin' "
Bubba says "Me and the wife haven't been doin so good in the bedroom lately and the therapist said I should do something s**... to a tractor"
What type of math does John Deere do?
Prime tractorization
I used to love John Deere and Massey Ferguson...
but now I'm an ex-tractor fan.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing n**... around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing s**... to a tractor." [to attract her]
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A farmer passing by his neighbours barn saw a strange sight inside
The farmer peered inside the barn door and there was his neighbour dancing around and taking off his clothes in front of an old John Deere. He knocks on the barn door, walks in and asks him why he's stripping and dancing in his barn. The neighbour says that him and his wife have been having trouble in the bedroom lately and that he has been going to the doctor to seek help. Still puzzled the farmer asks how this will help to which his neighbour replied Well, after the Doctor and I had a good chat he seemed to think I need to do a better job of getting her in the mood so he suggested I start with doing something s**..., to a tractor.
Joke my math professor told me today.
A man and his wife are having trouble with their marriage. They fight all the time and they have been continually becoming less physical. The man decides to visit his pastor on the subject. To which the minister proclaims, "You have to do something nice to attract her." The man responds, "Are you sure this will work?" and the pastor persists, "Yes, just do something nice to attract her, it will work I promise." And so the man goes home to get ready. Hours later, the wife comes home to find her husband with candles lit, and her husband slowly waxing his John Deere in the kitchen. She screams, "What are you doing?!" to which he replies "IM SAVING OUR MARRIAGE MARCIA! Pastor told me to do something nice to a tractor."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... Stripper
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor.
He performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.
Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the world're ya doing, Billy Bob?"
"Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob.
"But me 'n the wife been havin' trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something s**... to a tractor."
An Arab and a Jew
There was an Arab oil Sheikh that was in a coma and needed a blood transfusion to survive. Being AB+ it was hard for him to get a donor with the same rare blood type. Finally they found an old Jewish farmer that was listed as a blood donor with the same blood type. However he was very reluctant to give his blood to save an Arab guy. Finally after lots of discussions and pestering by doctors he agreed to donate only enough blood to help make sure the Arab guy was stabilized. After the blood transfusion and when the Arab guy is healthier, he sends the Jewish farmer a brand new John Deere tractor and a Cartier watch and $100000 as a token of appreciation. After a year, the Arab is requires another transfusion. The old Jewish farmer is contacted and this time is willing to give more blood. After the transfusion the Arab send the Jewish guy a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers. When the Jewish guy gets this he is furious as he is expecting much more since he gave more of his rare blood type. He contacts the Arab sheikh and asks him why he only gave him such a paltry gift? The Arab says, ya Akhie (brother) I have Jewish blood in me now….
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