The Best 17 John Deere Jokes

Following is our collection of funny John Deere jokes. There are some john deere thomas jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these john deere snider puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest John Deere Jokes and Puns

John Deere's manure spreader...

...is the only equipment the company won't stand behind.

Farmer Joe decides to go down the road to visit his friend Eb.

When he arrives at Eb's farm he hears music coming from Eb's barn.

Going to take a look Joe finds Eb dancing naked around his John Deer!

Taking a step back Joe asks Eb what the heck he's doing?

Eb explains, "Well to be honest me and my woman's been having problems in the bedroom, so we went to see a sex therapist. I'm just doing what she suggested."

"Do something sexy to a tractor!"

An farmer walks in to a lawyer's office in Alabama...

And he says to the lawyer, "Sir, I'd like to get a divorce."

To which the lawyer says, "Well, do you have a suit?"

"Yes, I sure do", the man replies. "Wear it to church every Sunday."

"That's not what I mean. Do you have a case?"

"No, you see I've always been a John Deere man myself. Never had a Case in my life."

"Sir, do you have any issues with your wife. Did she cheat on you, is she a niggard?"

To which the farmer replies, "No, but the baby is. And that's why I want a divorce."

How do you break up with a farmer long-distance?

A John Deere letter.

Bubba and Earl

Earl walks into Bubba's barn and finds Bubba dancing naked in front of his John Deere. Earl says "Bubba what are you doin' "

Bubba says "Me and the wife haven't been doin so good in the bedroom lately and the therapist said I should do something sexy to a tractor"


Regarding the SCOTUS approval of gay marriage, Iowa representative Steve King has just said (and this is a real quote) "you could marry your your lawnmower with this decision".

Marrying your lawnmower is fine, but when it comes time to leave, writing that John Deere letter is the toughest part.

What type of math does John Deere do?

Prime tractorization

The farmer's wife just ran off with a farm equipment salesman.

She wrote him a John Deere letter.

Surprisingly John Deere wasn't a country music fan...

He preferred Mowtown...

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]

I just got fired from a landscaping business by mail.

They sent me a John Deere letter.

You can explore john deere william reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean john deere anderson dad jokes. There are also john deere puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]

I used to love John Deere and Massey Ferguson...

but now I'm an ex-tractor fan.

Did you hear about the farmer who's wife left him?

She left him a "John Deere" letter

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]

My friend John has changed so much

Ever since moving to Chernobyl he prefers to be addressed with "Deer John".

Breaking Up

Did you hear about the farm equipment salesman whose wife wrote him a John Deere letter?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the john deere james jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working john deere edward piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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