Jogging Jokes
44 jogging jokes and hilarious jogging puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jogging that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Jogging Short Jokes
Short jogging jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jogging humour may include short hiking jokes also.
- Every morning at breakfast for the past 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I'm going for a jog, and then I don't. It's my longest running joke of the year.
- In 2017, i didn't jog. In 2018 i didn't jog. In 2019 i didn't jog. In 2020 i didn't jog. This is a running joke
- Prank Caller- Hello! is your refrigerator running?? Me- No, but the dishwasher is..
Prank Caller- Huh???
Me- Yeah my wife's out on a jog... - This morning I choked on water while jogging for the third time this week... Worst running gag ever.
- I went to the gym this morning and hopped on the treadmill People started giving me funny looks, though, so I decided I'd better jog instead.
- My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. He was so right..... I feel 10 years older and I only jogged for 15 minutes
- Did you hear about the woman whose boyfriend picked her up to 69 and then decided to jog at the same time? It was a bit of a running gag.
- Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times... Then I pick up the block, and put it back in the toy box.
- What will happen if an 110lb kid is jogging at 4mph, and a 3000lb car hits him at a constant speed of 55mph? He gets hit by the truck, and is severely injured.
So anyways I lost my license today - How does a guy prove he's tough? He jogs home after his vasectomy.
.
Fairly old, vasectomies may not be so bad any longer.
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Jogging One Liners
Which jogging one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jogging? I can suggest the ones about juggling and yoga.
- I got tired jogging in front of the car So I ran behind it, but soon became exhausted.
- Every morning when I jog I reflect on my life and I want to throw up. It's a running gag.
- Every morning I tell my wife I'm going jogging It's a running joke
- I started jogging today Just kidding. I exercised restraint instead.
- I'm so out of shape I can't even jog my memory!
- How come you never see stoners jog? It's hard on their joints.
- I like going for a jog at night The fear of getting murdered really helps my stamina.
- My friend started jogging so he'd live longer. He got hit by a bus and died the next day.
- What's the definition of macho? Jogging home from your vasectomy.
- If you can't remember something Go for a run, and it'll jog your memory
- I've finally come up with a name for my classic rock-themed jogging club. Runs 'n Goeses.
- Sprint should rename their company To slow jog
- Want to get noticed? Go jogging without moving your arms.
- What do a strong runner? A Jog-ernaut
Get it?
Eh?
Ok. - What is a runner's favourite subject in school? Jog-raphy!
Cheerful Jogging Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about jogging you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean running race jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jogging pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Day 284 without s**......
Went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A rabbi and a priest are out for a walk through the park.
It's a hot summer day and as they pass by a pond, the rabbi suggest taking a bath to cool down a little.
The priest is hesitant at first, but since they're at a remote spot with noone around, he agrees.
Just as they have finished taking off their robes a group of ladies is jogging by. The priest hastily covers his c**..., while the rabbi hides his face behind his hands.
When the ladies have passed, the priest asks:
"Why didn't you cover your private parts?"
To which the rabbi replies:
"Well, MY congregation recognizes me by my face. "
I went to college in Hawaii and
While I was jogging on the beach one day, I saw a man in the distance drowning !
He was waving his arms screaming:
Helllppppp.... *Shark* ... please... hellllpppppp
And then I started laughing, haha, cause I knew that that shark wasn't going to help him
A man is jogging along the road when he find an absolutely pristine tennis ball on the ground.
It doesn't seem to belong to anyone. So he picks it up and puts it in his pocket.
While waiting at a cross walk another man notices the bulge and asks "What is that?"
"A tennis ball" he replies.
"Oh, that must hurt a lot! I once had a Tennis Elbow"
My friend suggested I should go jogging at 7am instead of 7pm and...
I got to admit, it's a night and day difference.
I come home from work early one day, and I saw a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I askedhim, "Why are you jogging in your underwear?"
He said, "you came home early".
Jogging
Guy 1: The doctor told me I had to jog 5 mile per day to save my marriage.
Guy 2: Did it work?
Guy 1: No, one day I only jogged 3 miles, came home and caught the doctor with my wife.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bill Clinton is out on his morning jog...
and he sees a h**.... As he passes her he says, "Twenty bucks?"
"No way," she answers.
The following morning Bill is jogging with Hillary. They pass the same h**... on the street and she says, "See what you get for twenty bucks?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two black holes are jogging in space.
One says "You should slim down to get more attractive."
"Are you dense?" replies the other.
I gave up jogging for health reasons
"I gave up jogging for health reasons. My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire."
The problem with jogging
Is that by the time you realize jogging isn't working for you, it's already too far to turn back.
A boy asked a girl, what about,
You and me,
Tomorrow night,
Side by side,
Hot and sweaty,
Breathing heavy.
So, whadya say, wanna go jogging or not?
My personal trainer said she wanted me to do a push workout.
I've since been arrested for trying to pull her jogging bottoms down.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call it when a misogynist is your jogging coach?
A tool-assisted speedrun
Excercise adds years to your life...
... for example, I went jogging for 3 miles this morning, and I already feel like I am 65!
Exercise has helped with my depression immensely.
My wife started jogging a few months ago, and I feel far better about being seen with her.
I make my chubby wife go jogging every night
...or as I like to call it running the dishwasher
What do you call it when a person farts while jogging?
Passing Marathon Gas
Barack Obama was out jogging one day...
When he tripped, and fell over a bridge railing and landed in the river below. Before secret service could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted in return for saving his life. The first kid said, "I want to go to Disney world!" To which Obama replied, "not a problem, I'll even fly you there in Air Force one." The second kid then says, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's!" "You got it." Said Obama. "I'll even have Michael Jordan himself sign them." Then the third kid says, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in big screen tv and headset." Obama seemed a bit confused at this. "You don't look like yore handicapped." He said. To which the kid replied, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved you from drowning.
Three guys are out jogging...
...and they turn a corner and are hit by a truck, killing all three.
They are then standing in front of St. Peter at the pearly gates.
St. Peter asks the first one, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?"
The first answers, "Honestly, at least twice a week, every week that I was married. I just couldn't help myself!"
St. Peter says, "We know, that's why you get a moped to ride around Heaven with."
The guy jumps on the moped and rides off.
To the next, St. Peter asks the same question.
The second answers, "While I was married, only twice did I ever cheat on my wife. I hated myself afterwards. Please forgive me."
St. Peter says, "We know. That's why you get a Cadillac to drive around Heaven with."
The guy shouts, "Woo hoo!" and jumps in the car and drives off.
Before St. Peter can say anything, the last guy holds up his hand. "From the moment I met my wife, no other women existed!"
St. Peter says, "We know, that's why you get a Lamborghini to drive around Heaven with."
The guy jumps in the car and drives off.
About a week later, the guy with the moped sees the guy with the Lamborghini sitting on the side of the road crying.
"What happened?" he asks.
"I just saw my wife go by on a skateboard!"
