Jockey Jokes
33 jockey jokes and hilarious jockey puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jockey that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laughter can be heard all around the racetrack with these hilarious jockey jokes! From tales of underwear-clad riders to jokes about radio and racehorse jockeys, you won't be able to resist at least a snicker. Guaranteed to make you laugh until you get the lisp!
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Funniest Jockey Short Jokes
Short jockey jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jockey humour may include short jumper jokes also.
- Did you hear about the Jockey that got fired for not pay attention to his job? Everyone got tired of his horsing around!
- I went to the races yesterday. The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
- In honor of the Kentucky Derby: Horse Racing is very romantic. The horse hugs the rail, the jockey puts his arms around the horse, and you kiss your money goodbye.
- A basketball player and a jockey are stuck in rising water so the jockey asks what they should do. The basketball player says "It's not up to me, it's up to you".
- Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in?
They had to pay the jockey overtime! - So I was talking to a race horse jockey... So I was talking to a race horse jockey who said he weighed 92 pounds soaking wet. I told him, that's what you get when you stand under your horse.
- If a jockey wears jockey shorts, and a basketball player wears basketball pants, what kind of pants does the President wear? Depends
- What happened multiple times to the horse jockey after his horse died? He got arrested for beating a dead horse
- If a groom is a person that takes care of a horse, why don't they call the bride a jockey?
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Jockey One Liners
Which jockey one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jockey? I can suggest the ones about cyclist and juggler.
- Why couldn’t the jockey speak? He was feeling a bit horse.
- I told my dad I wanted to be a jockey when I grew up He said I had to pick one
- Why won't the jockey leave his wife? Because they have a stable relationship.
- What did the horse say to the small jockey? How you getting on?
- what did they call the disc jockey who kept playing the same songs again and again? DJ Vu
- What did the horse say to the one-legged jockey? How're ye gettin' on?
- Did you hear about the German Jockey? He came in pferd
- A zamboni driver or as they're called in England.. An ice jockey
- How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites?
They take a gallop poll! - How would a disc jockey describe the conditions of a desert? Ari-ari-arid
- "watch me whip. watch me nay nay" - a race horse that's turned the tables on his jockey
- How do jockeys stay on their horses? Jockey straps.
- I can't believe that female jockey won the Melbourne Cup from her kitchen
- How do you call a jockey falling from his horse ? An Hippic fail.
- Why do the horses hate the jockey? Because he's a horse racist.
Giggle-Inducing Jockey Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about jockey you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean racehorse jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jockey pranks.
Considerate.
*An old silly one...but a grin inducer nevertheless*
Mr. Fienstein called the FM radio station and said "I've found a wallet with $400, a credit card and an ID card belonging to Mr. Smith, No.13,Halls Rd, Jackson, TN."
To which the radio jockey says " Oh how honest. So you want his wallet returned back to him?"
Mr. Fieinstein says "No……. I just wanted you to play a sad song for him".
Dude 1 and his two friends are talking at a bar - talking about their wives..
Dude 1 says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
Dude 2, "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed, and it wasn't mine."
Dude 3, says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
Three men are chatting when the first says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a plumber.
"I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A pipe."
"I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician," says the second. "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A box of fuses."
"I think my wife is having an affair with a horse," says the third man.
The others stare, shocked and bewildered.
"How can you tell?" they ask.
"Because," replies the third man, "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A jockey."
Dave and his two friends are talking at a bar.
Dave and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Dave says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
UNFAITHFUL WIVES
A man is talking to his friend "I think my wife is being
unfaithful to me. And I think she's going out with a tennis
player."
The friend asks "Tennis player? Why?"
"Because", answers the other, "I found a racquet under our bed".
The friend thinks for some seconds and says "Gee, I think then
my wife is being unfaithful to me with a horse".
"A horse?? How come? Why??"
"Because I found a jockey under our bed."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A racehorse once smoked some w**... just before the race was about to start.
Once it started, the jockey couldn't control it as it veered off track. So the crowd started calling him arrogant as he couldn't get off his high horse..
The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race. He turned on the jockey.
"Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?"
"Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse."
