The Best 27 Jock Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Jock jokes. There are some jock bravely jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jock letterman puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Jock Jokes and Puns

A man is sentenced to 15 years in prison, but escapes after only 3 days

He's taken in front of a judge, who orders the prisoner to explain his actions. The prisoner says "Well your honor, the first day, they gave me a comb, then shaved off all my hair. The second day, they gave me a tooth brush, then pulled out all my teeth. The third day, they gave me a jock strap, I went over the wall". "Case dismissed" declares the judge

Fighter jock and the cargo pilot

A cargo plane is flying along, doing its cargo plane thing, when a fighter jet comes up alongside.

The fighter jock decides to poke some fun at the pilot who's forced to fly such an ungainly vessel.

"My plane's so much more advanced than yours. Watch this" says the jock, as he proceeds to do loop-de-loops, barrel rolls, corkscrews, and all manner of fast paced aerial acrobatics.

"Very impressive," responds the cargo pilot. "But that's nothing, watch this." For a half hour the large craft simply plods along straight as an arrow, not even so much as dipping the wings.

After a while, the cargo pilot comes back on the radio and says "So, what'd you think?"

Jock: "What d'you mean? You didn't do anything. You just flew straight for a while."

Cargo: "Oh no, that wasn't all. I got up, stretched my legs, got some coffee, went to the bathroom..."

What Did MLK Say When Asked If He Suffered From Jock Itch?

I have a cream.

Jock joke, What Did MLK Say When Asked If He Suffered From Jock Itch?

What's the difference between a Scotsman and a high school jock?

One has a strong accent, and the other has a strong Axe scent.

What does a jock douchebag and a strict catholic have in common?

They're both obsessed with their mass every day.


What are the 3 rules to buying real estate, the difference between jock itch and athlete's foot, and breastfeeding and a glass of milk?

Location, location, location.

Two Scotsmen are drinking in a pub...

...discussing insurance.

"Aye," says Jock, "I had a friend who killed himself for the insurance money."

"How much did he get?" asks Donald, interested.

"Nothin'," slurs Jock, "it was only Third Party."

Jock joke, Two Scotsmen are drinking in a pub...

How did Captain Hook die?

Jock itch.

Why do women parachutists wear jock straps?

So they don't whistle on the way down.

What do you call a Shock Jock that goes clean?

Showered Stern. I'll see myself out.

Husband: Hey baby, hold my jock strap.

Wife: That's disgusting why would I hold your jock strap?

Husband: Well I always hold your purse for you.

Wife: That's not remotely the same.

Husband: Why not, they both hold our junk.

Credit to /u/WhistleWhileYouLurk.

You can explore jock athletic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jock football dad jokes. There are also jock puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A Scotsman moves to London

How's the flat you're living in in London, Jock? asks his mother when he calls home to Aberdeen.

It's okay, he replies, but the woman next door keeps screaming and crying all night and the guy on the other side keeps banging his head on the wall.

Never you mind, says his mother, don't you let them get to you, just ignore them.

Aye, that I do, he says, I just keep playing my bagpipes.

Did you hear about the Mongolian Olympic wrestler?

He lost the gold medal due to premature jock elation. (all credit to /u/sasquatchiam, link in comments)

Society is so sexist

When a guy sleeps around with many women, he's called a jock.

When a woman sleeps around with many men, she's called your Mom.

[NSFW] English Exam

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
final exam. She tells the class there would be no excuse for not
showing up, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in
the student's immediate family.

A smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about
extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to
stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored,
the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student shakes her head,
and sweetly says, "Not an excuse........Write with your other hand."

People often ask me how long I can listen to my Jock Jams CD before I get tired of it

... and I say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, there's no limit!

Jock joke, People often ask me how long I can listen to my Jock Jams CD before I get tired of it

What is a jockstrap?

A nutcase

Jockes In Urdu Pahilya

Why do jocks hate new technology?

They don't like betas.


The first jockstrap in ice hockey was introduced in 1874. The helmet was first obligatory in 1974.

So it took precisely 100 years before men realized that the brain eventually could be useful too.

You're in the Army Now

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a South Alabama man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

What disease did Captain Hook fear most?

Jock itch

If a jockey wears jockey shorts, and a basketball player wears basketball pants, what kind of pants does the President wear?

Depends

What does a jock and a V7 chord have in common?

They both dominate.

What does a handsome jock and a beautiful lesbian both have in common?

...they both have a strap to put on!

If a bra is an over-the-shoulder-Boulder-holder, what do you call a jock strap?

An under-the-butt-nut-hut!

A High School English Teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.

One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Aw, that's so sad. Guess you'll just have to write with your other hand"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the jock tartan jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working jock ballroom piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes