Jock Jokes
39 jock jokes and hilarious jock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out this hilarious article featuring the best jock jokes! Read through a collection of the most clever jokes about jocks, jock itch, and the classic rivalry between jocks and nerds. Get the perfect joke to share with your laddie or och at the next athletic event.
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Funniest Jock Short Jokes
Short jock jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jock humour may include short jacked jokes also.
- What's the difference between a Scotsman and a high school jock? One has a strong accent, and the other has a strong Axe scent.
- Society is so sexist When a guy sleeps around with many women, he's called a jock.
When a woman sleeps around with many men, she's called your Mom. - A jock and a rich kid walk into a bar They bond over how easily they got into college and how little they'll contribute to society after they graduate.
- What does a handsome jock and a beautiful lesbian both have in common? ...they both have a strap to put on!
- People often ask me how long I can listen to my Jock Jams CD before I get tired of it ... and I say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, there's no limit!
- What are the 3 rules to buying real estate, the difference between jock itch and athlete's foot, and breastfeeding and a glass of milk? Location, location, location.
- Why does nobody ever talk about Jack the Ripper's sleazier French cousin? Jock the stripper.
- If a bra is an over-the-shoulder-Boulder-holder, what do you call a jock strap? An under-the-b**...-nut-hut!
- Did you hear about the Mongolian Olympic wrestler? He lost the gold medal due to p**... jock elation. (all credit to /u/sasquatchiam, link in comments)
- What does a jock d**... and a strict catholic have in common? They're both obsessed with their mass every day.
Share These Jock Jokes With Friends
Jock One Liners
Which jock one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jock? I can suggest the ones about hock and athlete.
- Why do women parachutists wear jock straps? So they don't whistle on the way down.
- Why do jocks hate new technology? They don't like betas.
- What disease did Captain Hook fear most? Jock itch
- What's a Phycologist Jock's favourite class? Algebra
- Jockes In Urdu Pahilya
- How did Captain Hook die? Jock itch.
- What Did MLK Say When Asked If He Suffered From Jock Itch? I have a cream.
- What do you call the jock's relationship with his girlfriend? A dominant chord.
- What does a jock and a V7 chord have in common? They both dominate.
- What do you call a Shock Jock that goes clean? Showered Stern. I'll see myself out.
- What do gay Japanese jocks give each other? Brojobs.
- What finally killed Captain Hook? Jock Itch!
- Why did the woman sky-diver wear a jock strap? So she didn't whistle on the way down.
- What Do You Call A Donkey That Plays Sports? A jock-a**....
Giggle-Inducing Jock Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about jock you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean juggler jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jock pranks.
A Scotsman moves to London
How's the flat you're living in in London, Jock? asks his mother when he calls home to Aberdeen.
It's okay, he replies, but the woman next door keeps screaming and crying all night and the guy on the other side keeps b**... his head on the wall.
Never you mind, says his mother, don't you let them get to you, just ignore them.
Aye, that I do, he says, I just keep playing my bagpipes.
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.
One smart-a**... jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme s**... exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Aw, that's so sad. Guess you'll just have to write with your other hand"
Fighter jock and the cargo pilot
A cargo plane is flying along, doing its cargo plane thing, when a fighter jet comes up alongside.
The fighter jock decides to poke some fun at the pilot who's forced to fly such an ungainly vessel.
"My plane's so much more advanced than yours. Watch this" says the jock, as he proceeds to do loop-de-loops, barrel rolls, corkscrews, and all manner of fast paced aerial acrobatics.
"Very impressive," responds the cargo pilot. "But that's nothing, watch this." For a half hour the large craft simply plods along straight as an arrow, not even so much as dipping the wings.
After a while, the cargo pilot comes back on the radio and says "So, what'd you think?"
Jock: "What d'you mean? You didn't do anything. You just flew straight for a while."
Cargo: "Oh no, that wasn't all. I got up, stretched my legs, got some coffee, went to the bathroom..."
A man is sentenced to 15 years in prison, but escapes after only 3 days
He's taken in front of a judge, who orders the prisoner to explain his actions. The prisoner says "Well your honor, the first day, they gave me a comb, then s**... off all my hair. The second day, they gave me a tooth brush, then pulled out all my teeth. The third day, they gave me a jock strap, I went over the wall". "Case dismissed" declares the judge
What is a jockstrap?
A nutcase
You're in the Army Now
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a South Alabama man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
Husband: Hey baby, hold my jock strap.
Wife: That's disgusting why would I hold your jock strap?
Husband: Well I always hold your purse for you.
Wife: That's not remotely the same.
Husband: Why not, they both hold our junk.
Credit to /u/WhistleWhileYouLurk.
Why won't the jockey leave his wife?
Because they have a stable relationship.
The first jockstrap in ice hockey was introduced in 1874. The helmet was first obligatory in 1974.
So it took precisely 100 years before men realized that the brain eventually could be useful too.
If a jockey wears jockey shorts, and a basketball player wears basketball pants, what kind of pants does the President wear?
Depends
