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Job Jokes

160 job jokes and hilarious job puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about job that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laughter is the best medicine! Brighten up your day with these funny job jokes! From humor about desk jobs, resumes and bosses to funny tasks and nose jobs, we have jokes for every kind of work-related quandary.

Best Short Job Jokes

Short job jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The job humour may include short resume jokes also.

  1. "You're telling me that I'm losing my job because donald trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!" "Mister President, we've been over this..."
  2. Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump. But I guess comparing apples to orange is unfair.
  3. Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump. But it's a silly comparison really, it's like comparing apples to oranges.
  4. Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump... But that's comparing apples to oranges.
  5. I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer Smoking or Non-smoking . Apparently the correct terms are Cremation and Burial .
  6. If this year has taught us anything, it's that Donald Trump is a regular American citizen He caught COVID-19, has massive debt, is about to be evicted from his house and is going to lose his job
  7. What do apple and Donald Trump have in common? I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.
  8. Did you know that a piranha can devour a human child to the bone in 30 seconds? Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
  9. You know when you get the urge to eat something just because it's there? Anyways, I lost my job as a gynecologist today.
  10. Donald Trump has decided to take just $1 as his salary for the job of the President instead of the usual 400,000. That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes.

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about job can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of job puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Job One Liners

Which job one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with job? I can suggest the ones about boss and task.

  1. Bullets are so weird They only do their job AFTER they're fired
  2. Just got a job as senior director at Old MacDonald's Farm... I'm the CIEIO
  3. I quit my job to start a cloning business and it's been great, I love being my own boss.
  4. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.
  5. People say being a waiter is a bad job... ... but, hey, it puts food on the table.
  6. Jobs that don't exist anymore 1. Steve
  7. I recently quit my job at the orange juice factory...... I just couldn't concentrate.
  8. I lost two things today. My virginity... ...and my job at the morgue.
  9. What food makes women stop giving blow jobs? Wedding cake
  10. Your momma so ugly… She went into a haunted house and came out with a job application
  11. At my new job I have 500 people under me. I mow grass at a cemetery.
  12. What was Tasha Yars' favorite job? Data Entry
  13. Just quit my job at the helium factory. I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice.
  14. My friend just quit his job at BMW. He gave no indication he was leaving.
  15. Anyone need a job? I hear Malaysia Airlines is looking for people.
    ^im ^so ^sorry

Interview Job Jokes

Here is a list of funny interview job jokes and even better interview job puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • a guy got an Interview for a job with EA Boss: the second part of your resume is missing
    Applicant: for the second part you have to pay 20$
    Boss: welcome on board
  • During a job interview yestarday I poured some water into a cup and it overflowed slightly "Nervous?" asked the interviewer, I simply replied "No I always give 110%"
  • Job interviewer: And where would you see yourself in five years' time Mr. Jeffries?" Me: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."
  • Interviewer: "We're looking for someone who is responsible." Me: "A lot of things went wrong at my last job and everyone said I was responsible. "
  • Just got back from a job interview, where I was asked if can perform under pressure. I said I wasn't too sure about that but I do a wicked Bohemian Rhapsody.
  • "What's your biggest weakness?" asked the job interviewer. "I don't know my own strengths," I replied.
    "What's your biggest strength?"
    "I contradict myself."
  • I went on a job interview for a security guard. After spending 12 hours in the waiting room... ...they hired me.
  • JOB OPPORTUNITY: Riot police officers needed. Interviews are being held tomorrow. Come early....
    ....beat the crowd.
  • Kelvin and Celsius had a job interview but only one of them got the job. It was Celsius because he had a degree.
  • Interviewer: So, tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not... I kinda want this job.

Job Interview Jokes

Here is a list of funny job interview jokes and even better job interview puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I went for a job interview at EA Games today. The interviewer said to me, The second part of your resume is missing.
    I said, For the second part, you have to pay $20.
  • The job interviewer asked... The job interviewer asked: "What's your biggest weakness?"
    Me: "I don't know when to quit..."
    Interviewer: "You're hired!"
    Me: "I quit."
  • Yesterday at a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little. "Nervous?" asked the interviewer
    I replied, "No, I always give 110%"
  • Was once asked on a job interview if I could perform under pressure. Me: Well I don't know about that, but I'll give Bohemian Rhapsody a try.
  • Interview Employer: This is an important job, we need someone who is responsible.
    Applicant: I'm the one you want!
    At my last job, every time there was a problem, they said I was responsible.
  • I went to a job interview at EA The interviewer, after reading my CV, said:
    "I see that this CV was clearly printed on two pages, but I only have one. Where's the other one?"
    "Page two is 19.99$"
  • Job interview Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap in your resume?
    Candidate: I was in Yale.
    Interviewer: Congratulations! You are hired.
    Candidate: Thank you. I really need this Yob.
  • During a job interview at the 99 Cents store, my son was asked, Where do you see yourself in five years? My son's reply: At the Dollar Store. He got the job.
  • Job interview Job interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?
    Me: That's when i went to yale.
    Interviewer: That's impressive. Your hired
    Me: Thanks i really needed this yob.
  • Job Interview "It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. What is 17x19?"
    "36"
    "That's not even close!"
    "But it was quick!"

Quitting Job Jokes

Here is a list of funny quitting job jokes and even better quitting job puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because the weights are too heavy. I just handed in my too weak notice.
  • I'm kinda scrawny, so I had to quit my job as a personal trainer Yeah, I gave 'em my too weak notice
  • I quit my new job as a mailman when they handed me my first letter to deliver. I looked at it and thought, This isn't for me.
  • Why did the cross eyed teacher quit her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils.
  • I've decided to quit my job as a Personal Trainer, I'm always feeling drained, and just not physically up to it.. So I've just handed in my too weak notice..
  • I just quit my job at the gym because I wasn't big or strong enough I've handed in my too weak notice
  • Recently, i decided to quit my job at the construction place because i couldn't deal with the heavy lifting. I gave them my too weak notice yesterday.
  • I told my boss that I'm quitting my job to become a comedian. He said, "You can't be serious."
    I said, "I know."
  • I had a job as a can crusher but I had to quit That job was just soda-pressing
  • Had to quit my job at the watch factory. The guy sitting opposite me, kept making faces.

Quit Job Jokes

Here is a list of funny quit job jokes and even better quit job puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I quit my job as a postman the first day right after they handed me my first letter to deliver. I looked at it and thought, This isn't for me.
  • My friend is quitting his job at the erectile dysfunction clinic... He hasn't gotten a raise in years.
  • I just quit my job, I couldn't work for my boss after what he said to me He told me that I was fired
  • Why did I quit my job in Mexico? It didn't peso well.
  • Quit my job at the helium factory I'm not gonna let them talk to me like that.
  • I just quit my job in the helium factory because of the way management spoke to me. I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice.
  • I quit my job at the helium gas factory I didn't like being spoken to in that tone.
  • Quit my job at the helium factory today I refuse to be spoken to in that tone
  • So the human cannonball decided to quit his job at the circus... The ringmaster said "Please, no you can't! We'll never be able to find another man of your caliber!"
  • My friend is a male stripper. He hates his job and wants to quit, but the pay is too good. So he decided to stick it out for a little longer.

Nose Job Jokes

Here is a list of funny nose job jokes and even better nose job puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear about the duck who got a nose job? He didn't like the bill.
  • My girl friend wanted a nose job... So I tried. But her nostrils weren't big enough.
  • My wife always wanted a nose job. So she became a tissue designer.
  • My girlfriend wanted a nose job for her birthday. It took me a while, but I got her off.
  • Ivanka recently got a nose job. When she asked her fathers opinion he said Fake Nose!
  • What do you call a gay nose job? Crooked
  • Why was the nose jealous of the hand? He was more passionate about his *job*
  • What job did the Jewish girl have when she was 18? *A nose job.*
  • So I got a nose job last Tuesday... It's amazing what h**... will do if you tip them.
    (Original joke)

Comical & Quirky Job Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about job you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean nose job jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make job prank.

TIL that a school of piranhas can s**... all the flesh off of a child's body in less than a minute...


On the downside, I lost my job at the aquarium...

Which one doesn't belong: eggs, your wife, or a b**...?

The b**.... You can beat your eggs and your wife but you can't beat a b**....

My wife texted "I'm leaving you"

And followed with "after lunch to go shopping with my sister."
I asked why in the world she sent the message that way. "I just wanted you to realize how good you have it with me."
I texted her back "Remind your sister she said she would come over later to give me a h**..."
A minute later I finished the message "-searching and resume building."

I was at a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said

"I want you to try to sell this to me."
So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building, and went home.
Eventually he called me and said "Bring my laptop back here right now!"
I said "$200 and it's yours."

My friend said, "Congratulations on your new job. How did you get it?" I replied, "The same way the v**... Mary got Jesus." He laughed, "A miracle?!"


I said, "No. s**... that I can't tell anyone about."

I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, "I want you to try and sell this to me."

So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home.
Eventually, he called me on my phone and said, "Bring it back here right now!"
I replied, "£100 and it's yours."

The only person Trump ever hired who was actually qualified to do their job was Stormy Daniels

Now you know who the best people are

If you ever feel like your job is meaningless, remember

there is someone who is currently installing the turn signal at BMW.

Finally, a blonde joke I haven't heard before…

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16-year-olds.
She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun k**... a ball.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
'You ok?' she says.
'Yes.' he says.
'You can go and play with the other kids you know' she says.
'No, it's probably best I stay here.' he says.
'Why's that sweetie?' says the blonde.
The boy looks at her incredulously and says,
Because I'm the Goalie!

**

After a long debate with my Wife, I decied that we won't Vaccine our kids

We think the doctor would do a way better job than us

I saw a crying kid and asked him where his parents were.

And that's how I lost my job at the orphanage.

My job is to drill holes in things and then bolt them together.

At first it's boring, but later on, it's riveting!

A British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job."...

...The German doctor says: "That's nothing, in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job."
The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for a job."
The American doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. A few months ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no liver and made him President.
Now, the whole country is looking for a job!"

If you ever feel like your job has no purpose, always remember

right now, there is someone who is installing a turn signal in a BMW

Creating a joke is one thing. But delivering it is another.

I think my mother did a commendable job in that regard.

This was the year I got all I wanted: a girlfriend, a steady job, and many new friends. All I could want for the next year is...

to be able to post this in a different sub.

A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.

She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."

I got my first job as an accountant at 22, right out of college. Suddenly, the week after I turned 30, they fired me.

13 years of loyal service to the company, down the drain.

My buddy took a job circumcising elephants at the zoo

The money's not great but the tips are huge

I just got a job in a factory making plastic Draculas

There are only two of us on the production line, so I have to make every second count

I got fired from my job as a masseur.

There wasn't any specific incident, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

My buddy just got a job in marketing with Kellogg's cereals...

I guess you could say his job is Raisin Bran awareness.

A guy applies for a job with the L.A.P.D.

Inspector says "These are the best qualifications I've ever seen, just one more test before you get the job.
Take this gun, go out and shoot six black guys and a rabbit."
Guy replies "Why the rabbit?"
Inspector says "Fantastic attitude, you've got the job!"

A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE: (the Washington Post competition)

I'll go first... I love you and the smell of your hair,Please don't be home when I get there.
EDIT- I have to say, the rhymes and creativity; you all are incredible, Now I have to wonder who's most edible...(no really great job to all)

A man goes into a job interview

A man goes into a job interview, and presents himself well.
The employer is shocked at how professional he is, "Wow, you have an incredible resume, and present yourself fantastically, but you seem to be missing 5 years on this part of your resume. What happened there?"
The man replied "Oh that's when I went to Yale."
The employer is even more impressed. "That's great, you're hired!"
The man is super happy and says "Yay I got a yob!"

I asked a p**...

"How Much For A h**...?"
Lady: "50..Do You Want One Honey?"
I: "No…No, it just makes me happy To Know How Much I Save When I Do It My Self"

What's the difference between a wife and a job?

After 2 years the job still s**...

"This is the hardest part of our job," said the police officer after Adam was pronounced dead in the accident.

"Yeah, but break the news slowly. His wife is a very sensitive person."
The police officer knocks on the door and Adam's wife opens it.
"Are you Adam's widow?" said the police.

An officer was fired for smoking cannabis and m**... on the job.

No name was given but he was a high w**... officer.

I thought me and my girlfriend had something. She met my parents, brought me dinner and called me honey. Now suddenly...

She's just a "waitress" and she was just "doing her job".

An officer was fired for smoking w**... and m**... on the job...

No exact details were given to the public, but he was a high w**... officer

How many antivaxxers does it take to change a lightbulb?

\-
\-
\-
\-
\-
\-
\-
\-
It's not my job to give you the answer. Do your own research.

I looked her square in the eyes and said, "s**... isn't real, right? It's just u**..., right?"

"I meant any questions about the job." the interviewer sighed.

Today I gave my seat to a blind lady on the bus,

That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.

What's the process of applying for a job at h**...?

They just give you a bra and say "Here, fill this out."

Sad news....I lost my job as a stage designer,

I wasn't very happy but left without making a scene.

At the interview for my new job I was asked

"What would your friends say are your weaknesses?"
"I don't have any!" Was my reply.
The interviewer seemed a little surprised and answered: "That can't be true. Everybody has some weak points."
Whereupon I said: "Oh no. You got that wrong. I meant I don't have any friends."

So my mom is getting her foot cut off today.. (really)

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot.
I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

My dad was fired from his job in road work for theft...

I didn't believe it at first. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

"I love my job!" said the farmer

"All you do is boss me around all day!" said one of his sheep.
"What did you say?" said the farmer.
"You herd me."

I don't understand why some people say, "Taco Bell isn't real Mexican."

It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.

I told my boss that three companies were after me, so I needed a raise in pay to stay in my current job. He asked which companies?

I told him the gas, electric, and phone companies.

"Mom, mom, quiz me on capitals please!"

"Okay, what's the capital of Germany?"
"That's easy, Berlin."
"And the capital of France?"
"Berlin"
"And the one of Poland?"
"Also Berlin."
"Good job Adolf, good job!"

A blind woman got on a bus. Sadly, all the seats were taken.

A man noticed that no one else on the bus was willing to give up their seat for the blind woman, so he kindly guided her to his seat and took a standing spot. As the bus started up, the man frowned at the others for their selfishness.
Later that day, the man came home in tears, covered in bruises.
"What's the matter?" asked the man's wife.
"I lost my job as a bus driver."

I went for a job interview today and the manager said,"We're looking for someone who is responsible"

..."Well Im your man" I replied,"In my last job, whenever anything went wrong they said I was responsible"

My final work dad joke

I always include a dad joke on the schedule for my employees (which this sub helps out with when I can't think of one, thank you). Next Friday is my last day, and this is the last schedule I'm sending to them. We work in a bookstore, and my final, cringe inducing joke to them is:
After careful consideration, I've decided to leave my job at the bookstore.
_It's time to turn the page to a new chapter in my life_
Pretty bad even by my standards, but it felt right.

I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

I remember as a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing,


but when I got home, the signs were all there.

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads...

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
h**...: $10.00
He checks his wallet and beckons to the s**... bartender.
"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
"Well, wash your hands," says the man. "I want a chicken sandwich!"

A guy was nailing his interview

A guy was nailing his interview when the employer said "well you look great but I see here there was a 7 year gap since your last job, what happened there?".
The guy says "oh I went to yale".
The employer: "oh great!! Well you're hired, you start monday"
Guy: "Yay! I got a yob!"

Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory

At first I just wasn't putting in enough shifts, then I couldn't keep the space clean and finally I lost control

Just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.

They said I wasn't putting in enough Shifts.
But to be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.

I really wish some of the fantasies in 50 shades of grey were real...

like how she got a job right out of college.

A man walks into a job interview...

He sits down on a chair, and the interviewer starts questioning him.
"So son, where did you receive your education?"
The man replied "Yale".
The interviewer, pleasantly surprised, says "Yale? Hard to believe you went to Yale to become a janitor. So what's your name?"
The man replied "Yack Yackson".

I lost my job at the zoo recently.

There was a sign that said do not feed the animals. So I didn't.

A man is dying. He lies in his bed with his wife next to him.

He says to her:
'you remember when i lost my job some years ago?'
'yes'
'you were by my side'
'yes'
'and when our son died in a car c**...?'
'yes'
'you were by my side'
'yes'
'and now I'm dying of cancer you're still by my side'
'yes'
'you know what?'
'no'
'i think you bring me bad luck'

Job interviewer: So, how do you wish to explain this four year gap on your resume?

Interviewee: That is because I went to Yale
Job interviewer: Oh, that is impressive! You are hired!
Interviewee: Thanks! I really needed this Yob

jokes about job

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these job jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.