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Job Interview Jokes

101 job interview jokes and hilarious job interview puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about job interview that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Job Interview Short Jokes

Short job interview jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The job interview humour may include short interview job jokes also.

  1. a guy got an interview for a job with EA Boss: the second part of your resume is missing
    Applicant: for the second part you have to pay 20$
    Boss: welcome on board
  2. During a job interview yestarday I poured some water into a cup and it overflowed slightly "Nervous?" asked the interviewer, I simply replied "No I always give 110%"
  3. Job interviewer: And where would you see yourself in five years' time Mr. Jeffries?" Me: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."
  4. Interviewer: "We're looking for someone who is responsible." Me: "A lot of things went wrong at my last job and everyone said I was responsible. "
  5. Just got back from a job interview, where I was asked if can perform under pressure. I said I wasn't too sure about that but I do a wicked Bohemian Rhapsody.
  6. A man is in a job interview.. "So it says here that you consider your memory to be one of your greatest strengths?"
    "Absolutely."
    "Could you give me an example of that?"
    "An example of what?"
  7. I went on a job interview for a security guard. After spending 12 hours in the waiting room... ...they hired me.
  8. JOB OPPORTUNITY: Riot police officers needed. Interviews are being held tomorrow. Come early....
    ....beat the crowd.
  9. Kelvin and Celsius had a job interview but only one of them got the job. It was Celsius because he had a degree.
  10. I went for a job interview at EA Games today. The interviewer said to me, The second part of your resume is missing.
    I said, For the second part, you have to pay $20.

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Job Interview One Liners

Which job interview one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with job interview? I can suggest the ones about interview questions and job application.

  1. Interviewer: So, tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not... I kinda want this job.
  2. Job Interview: Why do you think you'd be a good waiter? I bring a lot to the table.
  3. At a job interview."Can you perform under pressure?" No ,but I can try Bohemian Rhapsody!
  4. Just got offered a job working for Formula1 After a very successful zoom interview.
  5. I just said "No comment" all the way through the police interview. I didn't get the job.
  6. Job interviewer: What two words best describe you? Me: Functioning Alcoholic
  7. I just got a callback regarding a job opportunity with Sony. They canceled my interview.
  8. I had an interview for a rotoscoping job... I wasn't cut out for it.
  9. In a job interview. Interviewer: What are some of your wea-
    me: INTERRUPTING PEOPLE
  10. A hammer did a job interview. He nailed it.
  11. An Irishman walks into a job interview Hah! I crack myself up!
  12. Alex Trebek said a racial slur in an interview His job is now in Jeopardy
  13. Ripped my contract in half during a job interview today it was tearable
  14. I almost got a job with Sony but the interview was cancelled
  15. Why did the tailor fail his job interview? He wasn't suitably dressed.

Comical Job Interview Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land

What funny jokes about job interview you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean job searching jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make job interview pranks.

I was at a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said

"I want you to try to sell this to me."
So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building, and went home.
Eventually he called me and said "Bring my laptop back here right now!"
I said "$200 and it's yours."

I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, "I want you to try and sell this to me."

So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home.
Eventually, he called me on my phone and said, "Bring it back here right now!"
I replied, "£100 and it's yours."

A man goes into a job interview

A man goes into a job interview, and presents himself well.
The employer is shocked at how professional he is, "Wow, you have an incredible resume, and present yourself fantastically, but you seem to be missing 5 years on this part of your resume. What happened there?"
The man replied "Oh that's when I went to Yale."
The employer is even more impressed. "That's great, you're hired!"
The man is super happy and says "Yay I got a yob!"

I went for a job interview today and the manager said,"We're looking for someone who is responsible"

..."Well Im your man" I replied,"In my last job, whenever anything went wrong they said I was responsible"

A man walks into a job interview...

He sits down on a chair, and the interviewer starts questioning him.
"So son, where did you receive your education?"
The man replied "Yale".
The interviewer, pleasantly surprised, says "Yale? Hard to believe you went to Yale to become a janitor. So what's your name?"
The man replied "Yack Yackson".

Job interviewer: So, how do you wish to explain this four year gap on your resume?

Interviewee: That is because I went to Yale
Job interviewer: Oh, that is impressive! You are hired!
Interviewee: Thanks! I really needed this Yob

At the job interview

Interviewer: I see here that you had a five-year gap between jobs. Can you please explain it?
Me: Oh that's when I went to Yale.
Interviewer: That is very impressive. You can start tomorrow.
Me: Yay, I got a yob.

Another interview joke

During a job interview, the interviewer asks, I noticed a 6 year gap in your resume. How do you account for this period of time?
The applicant responds, I went to Yale.
Excited, the interviewer says, Yale?!? You're hired!
The applicant replies, Yay! I got a yob!

During my job interview I was asked: After a long week how do you normally recharge your batteries

Apparently through high voltage n**... c**... wasn't the answer they were expecting.

I had a job interview...

...the interviewer slid his laptop across the table and said "sell this to me."
I closed the screen, unplugged it, and left.
I ignored his calls for about three hours. When I did answer, he said "Where is my laptop?!"
"You wanna buy it?"

I was at a job interview today...

When the manager handed me a laptop and said,
I want you to sell this to me.
So I put it under my arm, left the building and went home.
Eventually he called me and said, Bring my laptop back now.
I said, £200 and it's yours.

The job interviewer asked...

The job interviewer asked: "What's your biggest weakness?"
Me: "I don't know when to quit..."
Interviewer: "You're hired!"
Me: "I quit."

I had a job interview today.

I was offered the job and told the salary was £7.50 an hour for the first three months and would then go up to £15 an hour.
The guy asked me when I could start.
I replied "In three months."

At a job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"

Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness?

Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics.
Interviewer: Could you give me an example?
Me: Yes, yes I could.

Yesterday at a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little.

"Nervous?" asked the interviewer
I replied, "No, I always give 110%"

A swedish man shows up to a job interview

The interviewer says, "Mr. Gustafson, could you explain the 4 year gap in your resume?"
"I went to Yale", he replied.
"Outstanding! What did you go to Yale for?"
"Yacking off in the library"

I was at an important job interview today, when they asked me if I was on Facebook…

"Sorry, no. I'm not." I replied.
"Twitter?"
"Nope."
"Instagram?"
"Nah."
"Look, just put your phone away, will you!?"

Was once asked on a job interview if I could perform under pressure.

Me: Well I don't know about that, but I'll give Bohemian Rhapsody a try.

I went to a job interview at EA

The interviewer, after reading my CV, said:
"I see that this CV was clearly printed on two pages, but I only have one. Where's the other one?"
"Page two is 19.99$"

A guy goes in for a job interview...

A guy goes in for a job interview.
The manager hands the guy his laptop and says, "I want you to try and sell this to me."
So the guy puts it under his arm, walks out of the building, and goes home.
Eventually, the manager calls the guy and says, "Bring it back here right now!"
The guy says, "$200 and it's yours."

Job interview

Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap in your resume?
Candidate: I was in Yale.
Interviewer: Congratulations! You are hired.
Candidate: Thank you. I really need this Yob.

During a job interview at the 99 Cents store, my son was asked, Where do you see yourself in five years?

My son's reply: At the Dollar Store. He got the job.

Man is at a job interview

Interviewer: Well, to start out in the beginning, you will be at a $30,000 salary, but later that number could go up to $50,000 or even $60,000.
Man: Ok, I'll come back later then.

Job interview

Job interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?
Me: That's when i went to yale.
Interviewer: That's impressive. Your hired
Me: Thanks i really needed this yob.

A man goes to a job interview...

His resume was fantastic and his qualities was perfect for the company. The interviewers were impressed.
"You are a strong candidate, and we would like to hire you. However, there's this 5 years gap in your resume. What were you doing during that time?"
"I went to Yale"
"Wow great! You're hired"
"Yay, I got a yob!"

A man in a job interview.

Interviewer: "This job requires you to know Powerpoint, how skilled are you with the program"
Man: "Well, I Excel in Powerpoint"
Interviewer: "Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun?"
Man: "Word."

Job Interview

"It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. What is 17x19?"
"36"
"That's not even close!"
"But it was quick!"

At a recent job interview, the hiring manager

asked me if I can perform under pressure.
I said no, but I can do Bohemian Rhapsody.

Job Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: I guess my biggest weakness is I am not always a good listener

I was in a job interview.

The man asked me to show him an example of leadership skills.
"OK," I replied. "I'm hired."

JOB INTERVIEW


"So how did the interview go?" my wife asked me.
"I'm not too sure to be honest, I said all the usual stuff like, I'm a hard working person, I get on well with others, I won't let anyone down, blah blah blah, but then he sort of looked at me funny."
"How come?" she replied.
"Because I said blah blah blah."

I was in a job interview.

The guy said, "What's your biggest weakness?"
I said, "I'm a great listener."

At the job interview...

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in three years?
Me: Sorry, I don't have 2020 vision

How was your job interview yesterday?

Well, I entered the office, found a man sitting on a large black leather chair with feet resting foron the table....
He pointed towards his laptop, asked me to take it and go outside, then come back and try to sell him the laptop...
He thought himself as actor Leonardo Di Caprio of "The wolf of wall street" movie...
So I took the laptop and left...
Left... ?? Then what ??
Nothing...
30 minutes later he called me up, begging me to return his laptop to him coz all his work and important documents were in it.....
So I asked him:
Will you buy it ??

At the job interview, I asked what is the salary like. They said I'll start at minimum wage and make double of that in two years.

Ok, I'll be back in two years.

Man goes to a job interview.

Interviewer: see you have a recent employment gap of 5 years, what have you done in that time?
Man: I spent the first 4 years in Yale.
Interviewer: that's impressive, what have you done in the last year?
Man: I've veen looking for a Yob.

An engineer, a lawyer and an accountant are at a job interview

The interviewer asked, what's 1 + 1.
The engineer draws up a plan and does some measurements and says. It appears that 1 + 1 is 2 .
The lawyer takes out his law book, checks all the rules then says according to the law, 1 + 1 is 2 .
The accountant takes out his book and calculator. Does a few calculations then whispers to the interviewer, What do you want the number to be?

At a job interview I was asked if I can perform under pressure...

I told them no, but I'm really good at Bohemian Rhapsody.

I had a job interview the other day and the interviewer says to me 'How would you usually describe yourself at work?'

I said 'With words, but today I'm going to use interpretive dance'

The cops in my town are looking for a racist attacker, so I called them up.

Apparently it wasn't a job interview.

I went for a job interview and the asked me to state my biggest weakness in three words

'Not very good at maths' I replied

At a recent job interview I was asked if I could perform under pressure.

I said "I didn't know that one but I would have a crack at Bohemian Rhapsody."

A man goes to a job interview

The interviewer asks: "So, do you have any special skills?"
Man, pulling a dead hamster out of his pocket: "Taxidermy!"
Hamster: "And necromancy!"

I went for a job interview and got offered the job as a fisherman

but turned it down as the net pay wasn't good

Job Interview

A games programmer is at a job interview at Electronic Arts.
As the interview comes to an end, the interviewer glances down at the programmer's résumé and sees "please turn over" written at the bottom.
He turns the résumé over, but finds that the other side is blank.
The interviewer asks, "Where's the rest of your résumé?"
The programmer replies, "Oh, that's downloadable content; it costs an extra ten dollars!"

At the job interview

"What's your biggest strength?"
"I'm incapable of understanding criticism.
"That sounds more like a weakness.
"Aw, thank you.

At a job interview, I sat down at at the table and in front of me was a pitcher of water and an empty cup. I poured too much and the cup started to overflow.

"Nervous?" The interviewer asked me.
"No," I responded, "I always give 110%"

I went for a job interview

I went for a job interview last Tuesday and was asked to describe myself in three words.
"Violent when disappointed," I replied.
I hope to get the appointment letter on Monday.

A dog walked in for a job interview today.

I probably shouldn't have asked him were he saw himself being in 10 years.

Yet another job Interview joke

Interviewer: So what would you say is your biggest weakness?
Candidate: I never know when to quit.
Interviewer: Well that can always be turned to our advantage! Congratulations, you're hired.
Candidate: *I quit*

Job Interviewer : Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me : I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

What is a line you can use in a job interview and during s**... also

I have a habit of coming early

I got a job interview as an under-water welder..

Interviewer: so how would you describe yourself?
Me : well I'd say i work well under pressure

I was at a job interview...

I was at a job interview and the boss asked me where I saw myself in 5 years and I said celebrating the 5 year anniversary of you asking me this question.
R.I.P Mitch Hedberg

A man in a job interview is asked "Do you have any experience?"

A man in a job interview is asked
Interviewer: "Do you have any experience?"
Man "I was a woodcutter in Sahara."
Interviewer: "But Sahara is a desert."
Man: "It is a desert now."
Interviewer: "The job is yours."

Job Interviewer~ What would you say your biggest weakness is?

Me\~ I am too honest.
Job Interviewer\~ I don't think of that as a weakness at all.
Me\~ Well, I don't really give a sh\*t what you think.

A job interview is like a first date.

You dress up, pretend to be someone else and spend the time wondering if you're going to get s**....

What did the grape say when it got stepped on?

Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
Mi son then went on to say !!! I went for a job interview today and the manager said,"We're looking for someone who is responsible"
..."Well I'm your man" I replied,"In my last job, whenever anything went wrong they said I was responsible"
My 11-year-old made me laugh with these !!!

I always start out my job interviews with the same phrase I say before having s**... with someone for the first time.

Everything I know, I learned from my uncle.

Oldie but goodie

During a job interview, the interviewer asked me if I had any impressive qualities? I said, "Yes, I'm very fast with math!" Suspicious he asked me to prove it. He told me to solve 327x49. I said 34,567! He pulled out his calculator and put it in. With a confused look on his face he says, "That's not even close!" I said, "Yeah, but it was fast though!"
No idea where the original came from but this one gets me every time.

A man is in a job interview..

"So it says here that you consider your memory to be one of your greatest strengths?"
"Absolutely."
"Could you give me an example of that?"
"An example of what?"

Guys: never wear a Saran Wrap skirt to a job interview...

They will clearly see your nuts.

Dropping your trousers is a terrible way to begin a job interview.

I learned that many moons ago.

[job interview]

"Tell me one of your weaknesses"
I can be very stubborn
"Will you please elaborate?"
I will not

Had a job interview with ISIS today...

They asked me where I see myself exploding in five years.

Job interview for a circus

A man is having a job interview for a circus. The interviewer asks: "What's your ability?"
"I can imitate birds"
"Look, I'm sorry but this is not the kind of things we are looking for"
The guy answers: "Fine, fine, thanks anyway", then he opens the window and flies away.

At a Starbucks job interview

"What is your name?"
-Alyssa
"Could you spell that, please?"
-L A R I S S A
"When can you start?!"

A man is asked where he sees himself in 5 years while at a job interview

He replies his greatest weaknesses is listening

And what do you think is your worst quality asks the job interviewer?

Honesty, answers the guy
Well, i don't think that honesty is that bad chuckles the interviewer..
I don't really give a f what you think…

At a recent job interview I was asked about my background.

I got my phone out and showed him that it was a picture of a dog eating spaghetti.

At the end of a job interview, the employer asks the future employee

"So, do you have any questions regarding the company ?"
"How many people are working here ?" "well, i hope that at least half of them are."

A Mathematician, an Electrician and a Lawyer are having a job interview.

The Interviewer asked the three Men, "What's the answer to one plus one?"
The Mathematician instantly replied, "Two!"
The Electrician went away, measured lots of things, and eventually came back and gladly said, "Two"
The lawyer looked around, closed the door, leaned in towards the interviewer, and quietly said, "What would you like it to be?"

Dude is late for job interview for a bus driver.

Dude: Sorry, I'm late.
Interviewer: you're hired.

I was at a job interview and was asked where do I see myself in ten years?...

I said the mirror

jokes about job interview