The Best 49 Jill Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Jill jokes. There are some jill laurie jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jill jack and jill went up the hill puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Jill Jokes and Puns

Classic nursery rhyme

Jack and Jill went up a hill, each had a quarter.

Jill came down with fifty cents, you think they went for water?

Bob and Jill (A Poem)

Bob and Jill love each other
Jill is soon to be a mother
They've known each other for a long time
But Jill was distraught when her boy wasn't fine
He came out all deformed
They should have listened when they were warned
Cause they were told when they started lovin
It wouldn't work, because they are cousins

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill;

each one had a quarter

When they came down

Jill had both,

You think they went for water?

Jill joke, Jack and Jill

Another Jack and Jill joke

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, pulled down his fly and asked Jill "Do ya wanna?"
Jill said "Yes" Took off her dress and they had a little fun,
But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

Jack and Jill went up the hill, both with a buck and a quarter....

Jill came down with two fifty.

"Jill look out the window..."

"...there's a horse in our yard."

"No Jack, it's not a horse, it's a cow!"

"I said look out the window, not in the mirror!"

The appointment.

Jack wakes up one morning next to Jill. He's feeling amorous and starts caressing her and tugging at her pyjama bottoms. She groans and says, "oh... not now, honey. You know I have a gynecologist appointment this morning...." Jack rolls over resignedly. After a few minutes he turns back toward her and says, "umm... you don't have a dentist appointment, do you?"

Jill joke, The appointment.

Netflix and chill is cool...

But let's be honest guys, we know for most of you it's Netflix and Jill

Jack & Jill Went In To Town.....

To buy some chips and sweeties.

Now Jack can't keep his heart rate down
and Jill has Diabetes

Jack and Jill went up a hill

Jack and Jill went up a hill;

to have a bit of fun.

But stupid Jill forgot the pill;

and now they have a son.

Dr. Jill Stein scheduled a rally at a Starbucks but it had to be cancelled

her supporters were afraid of the free wifi

You can explore jill liz reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jill christine dad jokes. There are also jill puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why Was Jill upest about the new iphone?

because there was no jack.

Jack and Jill went up the hill....

And Jill came back with an IPhone 7

Jack and Jill work together in an office...

Things are getting very slow and the manager realizes he has to let one of them go but he can't decide. The manager approaches Jill and says "I have to lay you or Jack off".

"Jack off!" snaps Jill "I have a headache".

I'm really disappointed that Jill Stein is not the female Wallstreet-corporate puppet of the 2016 US Presidential election...

As I'll never get to use the term "shill Stein"

My Favorite Nursery Rhyme.

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
both with a buck and a quarter,
Jill came down with 2.50,
and they didn't go up for water.

Jill joke, My Favorite Nursery Rhyme.

How do all Jack and Jill satires end up?


I hope that Senator Franken runs for President in 2020 and picks Jill Stein as his running mate

That'd be a real Franken/Stein ticket

I voted for Jill Stein

Finally I'm part of the 1%

What do you call an auxiliary jack with female connectors?

an auxiliary jill

Did you hear Jill Stein and Al Franken are getting married?

Their kids said they will hyphenate their last names to "Franken-Stein."

Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf has for men.

Mary: Tell me about it! I went golfing with my husband one time, and he told me I asked too many questions!

Jill: Well, I'm sure you were just trying to understand the game. What questions did you ask?

Mary: I thought I asked legitimate questions like, "Why did you hit the ball into the trees?"

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water,
Who knows what they did up there,
They came down with a daughter.

I could tell my girlfriend was cheating on me when she said she was at the mall with her BFF Jill

...when Jill was lying beside me this whole time. Smh

Jack and Jill...

Jack and Jill worked at the mill before the work did slack off.

The miller cried, "I can't decide whether to lay Jill or Jack off."

The boss of a small company has two employees, Jack and Jill…

Just recently the company has been doing badly, so the boss decides one of them must go.

Arriving at his office on Monday, the first person he sees is Jill, so he asks her to step into his office and explains his dilemma.

"Look Jill, I'm afraid I'm going to have to lay you or Jack off."

Jill replies, "You'll have to jack off then, 'cause I've got a headache."

The bro code

Jill didn't come home one night. When she got home the next morning, she said she'd slept over at a girl friend's house.

Jack called ten of her best friends, but none of them said she had been there.

A week later, Jack doesn't come home. The next day, he says he spent the night at a buddy's house after getting too drunk.

Jill called his ten best friends. 8 said he'd been there the night before, while 2 said he was still there.

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To smoke some marijuana

Jack got high
Unzipped his fly
And they had a little fun

Jill forgot to take the pill
And now they have a son

I often wonder why we plug our earbuds into a "headphone jack"...

...when it should have been called a "headphone jill".

Al Franken for president in 2020

Jill Stein for vice-president

Just think of the bumper sticker...

Why did Jill Stein try to censor a movie where the hero uses a shop vacuum to save people?

Because she doesn't want anyone to think there's such a thing as good vac scenes.

Jeff - I found this great new way to be condescending to people

Jill - What is it?
Jeff - It's when you talk down to people.

They wanted to paint Jill Dando's door

But she was dead against it

Jack came home in great excitement and said to his wife:

"Jill, love, you will never believe it, dear, but I have discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking".

"Really," she said, interested at once. "What is it?"

"Back to back," Jack replies

"But that is crazy. We cannot do anything back to back."

"Yes we can," he says. "I have persuaded another couple to help out!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said You know you wanna . Jill said yes, pulled up her dress and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.

Use contraceptives kids.

How come guys jack off and girls jill off?

Because you're Jack'n Jill

Dr. Jill Stein plans on marrying former senator Al Franken.

She will run for president in 2020 as Dr. Franken-Stein.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water...

...but what a joke, the condom broke, and now they have a daughter.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water...

...Jill came down with half a crown but not for fetching water.

My Aunt Jill was an English teacher who taught me so many important lessons like....

Always use very precise language or you could be misunderstood.

I remember it vividly because we were at their farm and I was helping my uncle Jack off a horse as she was telling me that.

No one digs a well at the top of a hill.

What the hell were Jack and Jill really doing up there?

Of course trump will challenge the results. He will not take no for an answer.

Just ask Ivana trump, Jill hearth, Jean carrol, summer zervos, alva Johnson, Jessica leeds, Kristen Anderson, Lisa boyne, Cathy heller, temple McDowell, Amy dorris, Karena Virginia, karen Johnson, mindy mcgillivary, Jennifer Murphy, Rachael crooks, Natasha stoynoff, juillet huddy, Jessica drake, ninni laaksonen, Cassandra searless, Mariah billado, Victoria Hughes, Bridget Sullivan, Tasha Dixon, and Samantha holvey.

How will Joe and Jill Biden spend thanksgiving with proper social distancing?

Biden selves.

Whats the difference between Jack and Jill?

I cant Jill off onto your face.

Biden and Trump are at the same barber shop

Biden and Trump are at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each one being worked on by a different barber, not one word was spoken. When the barbers finished shaving, the barber that had Trump reached for the aftershave. Trump quickly stopped him saying: No thanks, Melania will smell that and think I've been in a brothel. The second barber turned to Biden and said, How about you, Mr. Biden? Joe replied, Go ahead, Jill doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.

In the Resident Evil series, how does one make a proper Jill Sandwich?

You put it between two slices of Breadfield and then add some Weskershire sauce.

Jill broke her finger today.

On the other hand, she was completely fine.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water...

...however if you sponsor Jack and Jill for just $2 a month, we can build a well with clean water right in their village.


Jill and Joe Biden go to a steakhouse for dinner. Jill says, I will have the petite filet medium rare with a baked potato with sour cream and butter. The waiter asks, What about your vegetable? Jill replies, Oh, he will have the same.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the jill cindy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working jill jack and jill piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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