Jfk Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Jfk jokes. Read jfk president jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) that will make you laugh out loud.

Enjoy this list of puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jfk monroe puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Comical & Quirky Jfk Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

My favorite s**... position is called "the JFK"...

She screams and tries to crawl out of the back seat while I go splooey all over her dress.

My favourite s**... position is the JFK

I splatter all over her face and watch her struggle to get out of the car!

My favorite s**... position is the JFK.

It's where I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.

JFK Assassination Document Release

From what I hear, they reveal some pretty mind-blowing information

jokes about jfk

IF JFK taught me one thing...

The best way to clear your head is to take a ride in your car.

Obama looks rough after the last 8 years in office.

Still better than JFK after 2.

An Israeli is going through passport control at JFK...

The immigration officer asks: Occupation? The Israeli says: No. I'm just visiting."

What's the difference between JFK and Bill Clinton?

One got his head blown off, the other was assassinated

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks...

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.

"No" replied the Irishman "I've lost all me luggage!"

"How'd that happen?"

"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.

JFK, Ab. lincoln, & Martin luther king Jr walks into a bar

They get a few shots

What did JFK say before going to visit Marilyn Monroe?

I choose to go to Marilyn's hotel room this night and do the naughty things, not because she is easy, but because I am hard.

You can explore jfk assassinate reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jfk hilary dad jokes. There are also jfk puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

There are some eerie similarities between the assassinations of President Lincoln and Kennedy...

Lincoln was elected into Congress in 1846.
JFK was elected into Congress in 1946.

Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
JFK was elected President in 1960.

Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy.
Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln.

A week before he died, Lincoln was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before he died, Kennedy was in Marilyn Monroe.

Credit goes to the play: The Complete History of America: Abridged

A time traveler went back in time and saw a CIA agent

Time traveler: What year is it?

CIA Agent: 1963

Time traveler: Before or after JFK wa...

CIA Agent: Before

A conspiracy theorist dies and goes to heaven

The first thing he does is ask God, "Who really killed JFK?"

To which God replies, "It was Lee Harvey Oswald. He acted alone."

The conspiracy theorists thinks to him self for a moment then says, "This cover up of the truth goes even further than I thought!"

I love open-minded people.

Like JFK and Kurt Cobain.

A plane from J.F.K. is coming in to land at a rural airport in Arkansas at midnight.

Mouthy pilot turns to his co-pilot, winks & says "watch this"......
"Pilot to control tower......hey there h**..., guess who!!"
Control tower switches off the airport lights.....
"Control tower to pilot....... Hey there Yankee, guess *where!!*"

I invented a new s**... position called the JFK

I splatter all over her while she feverishly tries to get out of the car.

Why wouldn't JFK be a good boxer?

He can't take a shot to the head....

Too soon?

With elections coming soon, my coworker asked me who my favorite president was.

I said JFK, because he's so open-minded.

How does JFK clear his head?

He goes for a car ride.

Did you know that JFK only had 2 names?

The F was added to pay respects.

If JFK was alive today

He would have a huge hole in his head

What's the difference between the FBI and the ClA?

It's a difference of acronyms, you see.
One killed MLK, while the other killed

Who were the two most open minded presidents?

Abraham Lincoln and JFK...

Who was the most open minded president in us history?


What did JFK say about his multiple affairs?

"I did them not because they were easy, but because I was hard."

What do you get when you order a JFK?

An americano with an extra shot

I wonder if JFK ever thought about how he'd die.

At least I know a bullet crossed his mind.

Why didn't JFK ever like v**...?

Because he couldn't handle a few shots

Whats the difference between a bullet and a human?

Humans miss JFK

JFK had a dirty mind...

The last thing on his mind was Jackie's dress.

JFK wasn't a terribly focused president...

One convertible ride and his mind's all over the place.

I went to the JFK memorial museum and got to simulate his assassination in VR

It was mind blowing

What did JFK say after b**... Marilyn Monroe?

"Some men have greatness t**... upon them, some men t**... upon greatness."

I'm at JFK and the man in front of me has collapsed on the luggage carousel.

He's coming round slowly….

JFK and Abe Lincoln were two of the greatest president of all history.

I think it's because they were so Open Minded.

Jackie: John, did you sleep with Marilyn Monroe?

JFK: I had to Jackie. Not because she was easy, but because I was hard

An Irishman is at JFK airport in New York

He is standing over a broken whiskey bottle and crying. A security guard approaches him and asks what's wrong. The Irishman wipes away his tears and says, "I LOST ALL ME LUGGAGE!"

Why was JFK remembered as such a good president?

He had a very open mind.

Why did JFK Jr. not take a shower before his trip?

He figured he would just wash up on shore.

JFK is back!

He certainly has some mind-blowing stories to tell us!

How do we know JFK was a fan of PDA?

He was all over his wife at the parade

JFK was killed before his second term in office.

He only got one shot.


What is the difference between bullets and humans?.
. Humans miss JFK.

Why couldn't JFK be a boxer?

He couldn't take shots to the head.

I'll always remeber the town where JFK was shot...

because it was dallast one he visited.

Not-so-famous last words

"I need this s**... visit to Dallas like I need a hole in the head!" -JFK

Who were the most open-minded US presidents?

Well it was a tie between JFK and Abraham Lincoln

Why did JFK get some fresh air?

Because he wanted to clear his head.

I just found out JFK was jewish.

He was shot in the temple.

54 years ago, JFK became the us president with the least brain ever

...but unfortunately his record has been beaten at the beginning of the year

If JFK could see the state of this country...

It would blow his mind.

I was going to tell a joke about JFK

but it went straight through my head.

People dont give JFK enough credit

He was very open-minded

The JFK files will be released today.

If there's anything that satisfies conspiracy theorists' curiosity, it's files released by the government.

My favourite s**... move is the JFK

I splatter all over her face while she screams and tries to get out of the car

How did the media know JFK was cheating on his wife?

They saw him getting blown in the back seat.

I had a joke about JFK but I forgot what it was

It went right through my head

Everyone knows JFK was assassinated

That's a no brainer

Why was Jackie mad at JFK?

Because he gave her a piece of his mind.

JFK is my favorite president.

He's so open minded!

Why is JFK afraid of syringes?

He doesn't like getting shot

Today at work I was so scatterbrained

you could call me JFK

I had a dream I was in Dallas riding in the car with JFK...

It was mind-blowing.

One shot of espresso in a coffee? That's a red eye. Two shots? A black eye.

Three shots? That's called a JFK.

LBJ always called JFK a lightweight.

He was right, one shot and he was gone.

What's the difference between JFK and an alcoholic?

An alcoholic can take more than one shot, and doesn't let the first one get to his head.





A time-traveling FBI officer informed JFK that the tenth next president of the US would be a reality TV celebrity

JFK was mind blown

"How was the JFK documentary?"

Mind blowing!

J.F.K. had really low alcohol tolerance...

One shot and he was down

What does JFK and an aborted baby have in common?

Neither made it to their second term.

Before his death, JFK was just known as John Kennedy.

The F was added after to pay respects.

Want to hear something mindblowing?


What's the difference between JFK and Obama?

JFK put a man on the moon. Obama put a man in the women's restroom.

Just read an article on how JFK died.

Mind. Blown.

What if JFK discovered that he'll be shot in the head?

That would be mind blowing for him.

If JFK didn't have a middle name...

the assassinated would be just kidding

I'm trying to remember a good JFK joke for you guys...

But my mind is all over the place right now.

Why do the g**... love JFK so much?

He was the first president to take one to the back of the head

I will never forget where i was when JFK was shot

Looking down the scope of a rifle

If JFK could have appointed anyone to his cabinet...

Marilyn Monroe would've been the head of foreign affairs

JFK was a good enough guy…

Just everything went to his head

Today I learned that JFK would be considered mentally disabled nowadays.

He just couldn't get things through his head.

What do Ivanka Trump and JFK airport have in common?

Donald wouldn't be happy if a muslim entered either of them.

My friend said he found a video that was completely mindblowing.

Turned out to be the JFK footage.


So, John F Kennedy promised us a FULL 4 year term....


What did JFK say to his driver?

It's a good day to take the top off

What do JFK and a great shopping deal have in common?

Both a real no-brainer

Was JFK born in USA?

Doubtful, he sounds Kennedyan!

Question about John F Kennedy

Did JFK do Marilyn Monroe because she was easy? Or was it because he was hard?

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