Comical & Quirky Jfk Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
My favorite s**... position is called "the JFK"...
She screams and tries to crawl out of the back seat while I go splooey all over her dress.
My favourite s**... position is the JFK
I splatter all over her face and watch her struggle to get out of the car!
My favorite s**... position is the JFK.
It's where I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
JFK Assassination Document Release
From what I hear, they reveal some pretty mind-blowing information
IF JFK taught me one thing...
The best way to clear your head is to take a ride in your car.
Obama looks rough after the last 8 years in office.
Still better than JFK after 2.
An Israeli is going through passport control at JFK...
The immigration officer asks: Occupation? The Israeli says: No. I'm just visiting."
What's the difference between JFK and Bill Clinton?
One got his head blown off, the other was assassinated
An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks...
An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.
"No" replied the Irishman "I've lost all me luggage!"
"How'd that happen?"
"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.
JFK, Ab. lincoln, & Martin luther king Jr walks into a bar
They get a few shots
What did JFK say before going to visit Marilyn Monroe?
I choose to go to Marilyn's hotel room this night and do the naughty things, not because she is easy, but because I am hard.
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There are some eerie similarities between the assassinations of President Lincoln and Kennedy...
Lincoln was elected into Congress in 1846.
JFK was elected into Congress in 1946.
Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
JFK was elected President in 1960.
Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy.
Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln.
A week before he died, Lincoln was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before he died, Kennedy was in Marilyn Monroe.
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Credit goes to the play: The Complete History of America: Abridged
A time traveler went back in time and saw a CIA agent
Time traveler: What year is it?
CIA Agent: 1963
Time traveler: Before or after JFK wa...
CIA Agent: Before
A conspiracy theorist dies and goes to heaven
The first thing he does is ask God, "Who really killed JFK?"
To which God replies, "It was Lee Harvey Oswald. He acted alone."
The conspiracy theorists thinks to him self for a moment then says, "This cover up of the truth goes even further than I thought!"
I love open-minded people.
Like JFK and Kurt Cobain.
A plane from J.F.K. is coming in to land at a rural airport in Arkansas at midnight.
Mouthy pilot turns to his co-pilot, winks & says "watch this"......
"Pilot to control tower......hey there h**..., guess who!!"
Control tower switches off the airport lights.....
"Control tower to pilot....... Hey there Yankee, guess *where!!*"
I invented a new s**... position called the JFK
I splatter all over her while she feverishly tries to get out of the car.
Why wouldn't JFK be a good boxer?
He can't take a shot to the head....
Too soon?
With elections coming soon, my coworker asked me who my favorite president was.
I said JFK, because he's so open-minded.
How does JFK clear his head?
He goes for a car ride.
Did you know that JFK only had 2 names?
The F was added to pay respects.
If JFK was alive today
He would have a huge hole in his head
What's the difference between the FBI and the ClA?
It's a difference of acronyms, you see.
One killed MLK, while the other killed
JFK.
Who were the two most open minded presidents?
Abraham Lincoln and JFK...
Who was the most open minded president in us history?
JFK
What did JFK say about his multiple affairs?
"I did them not because they were easy, but because I was hard."
What do you get when you order a JFK?
An americano with an extra shot
I wonder if JFK ever thought about how he'd die.
At least I know a bullet crossed his mind.
Why didn't JFK ever like v**...?
Because he couldn't handle a few shots
Whats the difference between a bullet and a human?
Humans miss JFK
JFK had a dirty mind...
The last thing on his mind was Jackie's dress.
JFK wasn't a terribly focused president...
One convertible ride and his mind's all over the place.
I went to the JFK memorial museum and got to simulate his assassination in VR
It was mind blowing
What did JFK say after b**... Marilyn Monroe?
"Some men have greatness t**... upon them, some men t**... upon greatness."
I'm at JFK and the man in front of me has collapsed on the luggage carousel.
He's coming round slowly….
JFK and Abe Lincoln were two of the greatest president of all history.
I think it's because they were so Open Minded.
Jackie: John, did you sleep with Marilyn Monroe?
JFK: I had to Jackie. Not because she was easy, but because I was hard
An Irishman is at JFK airport in New York
He is standing over a broken whiskey bottle and crying. A security guard approaches him and asks what's wrong. The Irishman wipes away his tears and says, "I LOST ALL ME LUGGAGE!"
Why was JFK remembered as such a good president?
He had a very open mind.
Why did JFK Jr. not take a shower before his trip?
He figured he would just wash up on shore.
JFK is back!
He certainly has some mind-blowing stories to tell us!
How do we know JFK was a fan of PDA?
He was all over his wife at the parade
JFK was killed before his second term in office.
He only got one shot.
Bullets
What is the difference between bullets and humans?.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. Humans miss JFK.
Why couldn't JFK be a boxer?
He couldn't take shots to the head.
I'll always remeber the town where JFK was shot...
because it was dallast one he visited.
Not-so-famous last words
"I need this s**... visit to Dallas like I need a hole in the head!" -JFK
Who were the most open-minded US presidents?
Well it was a tie between JFK and Abraham Lincoln
Why did JFK get some fresh air?
Because he wanted to clear his head.
I just found out JFK was jewish.
He was shot in the temple.
54 years ago, JFK became the us president with the least brain ever
...but unfortunately his record has been beaten at the beginning of the year
If JFK could see the state of this country...
It would blow his mind.
I was going to tell a joke about JFK
but it went straight through my head.
People dont give JFK enough credit
He was very open-minded
The JFK files will be released today.
If there's anything that satisfies conspiracy theorists' curiosity, it's files released by the government.
My favourite s**... move is the JFK
I splatter all over her face while she screams and tries to get out of the car
How did the media know JFK was cheating on his wife?
They saw him getting blown in the back seat.
I had a joke about JFK but I forgot what it was
It went right through my head
Everyone knows JFK was assassinated
That's a no brainer
Why was Jackie mad at JFK?
Because he gave her a piece of his mind.
JFK is my favorite president.
He's so open minded!
Why is JFK afraid of syringes?
He doesn't like getting shot
Today at work I was so scatterbrained
you could call me JFK
I had a dream I was in Dallas riding in the car with JFK...
It was mind-blowing.
One shot of espresso in a coffee? That's a red eye. Two shots? A black eye.
Three shots? That's called a JFK.
LBJ always called JFK a lightweight.
He was right, one shot and he was gone.
What's the difference between JFK and an alcoholic?
An alcoholic can take more than one shot, and doesn't let the first one get to his head.
Mindblowing.
Jk.
Sry.
Jfk.
A time-traveling FBI officer informed JFK that the tenth next president of the US would be a reality TV celebrity
JFK was mind blown
"How was the JFK documentary?"
Mind blowing!
J.F.K. had really low alcohol tolerance...
One shot and he was down
What does JFK and an aborted baby have in common?
Neither made it to their second term.
Before his death, JFK was just known as John Kennedy.
The F was added after to pay respects.
Want to hear something mindblowing?
JFK
What's the difference between JFK and Obama?
JFK put a man on the moon. Obama put a man in the women's restroom.
Just read an article on how JFK died.
Mind. Blown.
What if JFK discovered that he'll be shot in the head?
That would be mind blowing for him.
If JFK didn't have a middle name...
the assassinated would be just kidding
I'm trying to remember a good JFK joke for you guys...
But my mind is all over the place right now.
Why do the g**... love JFK so much?
He was the first president to take one to the back of the head
I will never forget where i was when JFK was shot
Looking down the scope of a rifle
If JFK could have appointed anyone to his cabinet...
Marilyn Monroe would've been the head of foreign affairs
JFK was a good enough guy…
Just everything went to his head
Today I learned that JFK would be considered mentally disabled nowadays.
He just couldn't get things through his head.
What do Ivanka Trump and JFK airport have in common?
Donald wouldn't be happy if a muslim entered either of them.
My friend said he found a video that was completely mindblowing.
Turned out to be the JFK footage.
JFK
So, John F Kennedy promised us a FULL 4 year term....
Liar
What did JFK say to his driver?
It's a good day to take the top off
What do JFK and a great shopping deal have in common?
Both a real no-brainer
Was JFK born in USA?
Doubtful, he sounds Kennedyan!
Question about John F Kennedy
Did JFK do Marilyn Monroe because she was easy? Or was it because he was hard?
