The Best 33 Jews Holocaust Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Jews Holocaust jokes. There are some jews holocaust jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jews holocaust puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Jews Holocaust Jokes and Puns

My Jewish friend says this is a non-offensive Holocaust joke

A Holocaust survivor died recently. Goes to Heaven and upon meeting God, he decided to tell a Holocaust joke. Then God said "That's not funny", to which the Jew replied "Oh, I guess you had to be there".

Joke I heard from a 109 year old Holocaust survivor

A Jew gets to heaven after passing and meets god. The Jew tells god a Holocaust joke, but god doesn't laugh. The Jew shrugs and says, "I guess you had to be there to understand".

A: Whats's worse than a worm in the apple?

B: The Holocaust.
A: What's worse than the Holocaust?
B: 5 Million Jews.

An Atheist...

Walks up to the Pearly Gates. God says, "I will let you in if you can make me laugh."

The Atheist asks, "who is the greatest Jewish baker of all time? Hitler. He made over 60,000 Jews toast."

God looks at him and says, "A holocaust joke? That is not really funny."

The atheist replied, "Eh, I guess you should have been there."

[Offensive] What do you get when you cross a bowl of fruit and the holocaust?

Orange Jews from concentrate

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

A Jew is a person who follows Judaism, and pizza is a food...

I bet you expected a Holocaust joke. Jew thought wrong.

Multijokes: How many Jews can you fit in a family car.

Standard Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and six-million in the ashtray.

Follow-Up Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and none anywhere else because the Holocaust never happened.

Alternate Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and a family of eight hiding under the roof-rack.

Efficient Answ**e**r: Not enough, we'll need to use trains.

Anti-Joke Answ**e**r: Please tell me, myself and some Jewish friends are going to Florida but ~~cannot afford~~ are too-cheap for plane tickets.

Racist Answ**e**r: Throw a dollar in there and they'll all get in.

A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler...

A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler.

"Hey, is that Hitler?" he asks the bartender.

"Yeah that's Adolf and his right hand man. Have a cold beer and go introduce yourself!"

The man gets a nice cold bottle from the bartender and makes his way over to Hitler.

"Hello Adolf."

"How are you?" Adolf asks.

"Good, what are you doing?"

Hitler's right hand man chimes in. "We are going over plans for World War III."

"Ah, what are your plans for it?" the bar visiting man asks.

"Well, we will kill 1 million Jews and 1 bicycle repair man," Adolf's right hand man answers.

"Why are you going to kill a bicycle repair man?" asks the man.

Hitler becomes excited and turns to his right hand man.

"Ha! See? I told you nobody would care about the Jews."


The Holocaust is a terrible thing. This is a terrible joke. However, it has made people laugh, even Jewish people because it is very unexpected. I have no issue with Jewish men or women.

An old holocaust survivor dies and goes up to heaven....

He asks God,

"How do you get a girl's number in Auschwitz? Roll up her sleeve."

God doesn't laugh.

The Jew shrugs and says, "Eh. I guess you had to be there to understand".

Best Read with a German Accent (Warning: Holocaust Joke)

One day during the war, Hitler gathered his top advisers to hold a top secret meeting. He said "Ok, tomorrow ve vill kill 1,000 Jews and three hamsters". His advisors looked at one another, and one said, "But Hitler, vhy ze three hamsters". Hitler smiled at his advisers and replied, "You see, no one cares about ze jews!"

Two friends are having a conversation about World War 2

The holocaust wasn't that bad.

Of course it was!

I'm going to go out and kill a million Jews and one clown.

Why the clown?

See, no one cares about the Jews.

You can explore jews holocaust reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jews holocaust dad jokes. There are also jews holocaust puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

My aunt is a Jew. And a holocaust denier.

We call her Auntie Semite

"The holocaust wasn't that bad"

"The holocaust wasn't *that* bad"
"Of course it was!"
"I'll prove it. I'll kill a million jews and one horse"
"Why the horse?"
"See? Nobody cares about the jews!"

As a man of Jewish descent

As a man of Jewish descent I don't like jokes about us Jews.
I think they often cement prejudices and misinterpretations of the Jewish people and culture.
But every now and then even I enjoy a good laugh and feel that I shouldn't be so serious about everything.

So I have a very good joke about the holocaust here if anyone wants to buy it?

A Jew goes to heaven...

And tells God a Holocaust joke.

God said, "I don't think that's very funny."

To which he replied, "Hm. I guess you had to be there"

Holocaust Joke

An old Jew dies and goes to Heaven.
He asks if God wants to hear a holocaust joke.
God agrees and the man tells the joke.
God says, "That wasn't funny. It was offensive."
The Jew pauses and replies "I guess you had to be there."

So my friend tells me "The holocaust wasn't that bad."

I say "Of course it was!"

He replies "I'm going to go out and kill a million Jews and one clown."

I say "Why the clown?"

He says "See, no one cares about the Jews."

Two historians are discussing about the Holocaust

\- The holocaust wasn't that bad; says one of them.

\- Are you out of your mind?; the other one replies.

\- What if I were to kill 6 million Jews and one actress?

\- But why the actress?

\- See, nobody ever cares about the Jews.

A Jew and an American are sitting on a bus...

The Holocaust denier farts.

The Jew says, "That's gross!"

The Holocaust denier says, "What, a little gas never killed anyone."

Rabbi Dies and Goes to Heaven

An old Rabbi dies and goes to heaven.

God meets him at the pearly gates, and says,

Schlomo - you've been a good Jew. Your ticket to heaven will be easy. All you need to do is tell me a joke.

Schlomo thinks this is such a great opportunity. So, he tells God a long, drawn out joke about Hitler and all the Jews he killed in the holocaust.

Even though he's all knowing, God says, I don't get it.

Schlomo says, I guess you should have been there.

Appreciating a joke

As an epileptic, I appreciate jokes about epilepsy. As a Jew, I appreciate Jewish and holocaust jokes. As a Caucasian, I enjoy the very few white jokes.

If only I was an Oompa Loompa, then I can enjoy Donald Trump Jokes.

"No one cares about the jews"

"Yeah, they do"

"No they don't. During the holocaust i killed 3 jews and one clown"

"Why one clown?"

"See? No one cares about the jews"

How did holocaust survivors fight back the nazis?

Through the art of Jew Jitsu

Why do White Supremists call this month "The Holocaust"?

Because it's just another Jew Lie

(The Holocaust is real and this is just a joke)

The Holocaust really proved one thing...

It's the *Jews* who are the master race

Came up with this one for my brother's birthday:

What do you call a retarded Jew during the holocaust?

A baked potato.

Why did the Jews in Germany not establish an organization against the Holocaust?

There was too little interest.

As a Jew, what makes me most mad about the holocaust...

Is having cost in the name.

What's worse than the Holocaust?

Six thousand Jews.

Did you hear about the Kentucky Coal Museum that's switching to solar power?

What's next, a Holocaust Museum run by Jews?

What did Steve Bannon have to say about the Holocaust?


The Holocaust put a real strain on the economy...

It simply was not sustainable.
After those 6 million Jews were dead, those poor Nazi's were made redundant.

Why are Jews spread all over the world?

Heavy winds during the Holocaust.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the jews holocaust puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working jews holocaust piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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