Jewish Wedding Jokes
16 jewish wedding jokes and hilarious jewish wedding puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jewish wedding that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Jewish Wedding Short Jokes
Short jewish wedding jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jewish wedding humour may include short jewish wife jokes also.
- I'm singing at a wedding where a Jewish man is marrying a Catholic woman I'll be performing the Oy Vey Maria
- I went to a Jewish wedding, and spotted a red sign. It said, "In case of wedding, break glass"
- I asked an old Jewish friend of mine about inviting n**...'s to my wedding. He said "with the n**...'s, the fuhrer the better"
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Jewish Wedding One Liners
Which jewish wedding one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jewish wedding? I can suggest the ones about wedding ceremony and jewish christmas.
- What candy is traditionally served at a Jewish wedding. Mazel toffee.
- What do you call the signature drink at a Jewish wedding? A Mazel tov cocktail!
- Why do nerds go to Jewish weddings? Because they break glasses and protect their pockets
- What does a Jewish cat say at weddings? Meowzel tov
Playful Jewish Wedding Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about jewish wedding you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bar mitzvah jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jewish wedding pranks.
What is the difference between a Conservative Jewish wedding, an Orthodox Jewish wedding, and a Reform Jewish wedding?
At a Conservative wedding the bride is pregnant.
At an Orthodox wedding the bride's mother is pregnant.
At a Reform wedding the rabbi is pregnant.
Weddings by Christian denomination [super-dated but still funny]
At a Catholic wedding, the bride is pregnant.
At a m**... wedding, the bride's mother is pregnant.
At a United Church wedding, the minister is pregnant.
At a Unitarian wedding, the minister and her wife are both pregnant.
*Adapted poorly from a joke about Jewish denominations.*
How do you know what kind of Jewish wedding you're at?
At an orthodox wedding, the mother of the bride is pregnant.
At a conservative wedding, the bride is pregnant.
At a reform wedding, the rabbi is pregnant!
A joke that only Jews will get.
A Jewish man is getting married to a nonreligious woman. His religion is important to him so she agrees to have a Jewish wedding. The ceremony goes well, and all that's left is for the groom to break the glass. He steps on the glass, and it breaks in such a way that it slices his foot right through the shoe. He's bleeding badly.
The bride screams "Oh no he's hurt! Is anyone here a doctor?"
A young Jewish couple was getting married...
As the wedding party was getting ready to enter the hall, they noticed the bride and groom were missing.
After a few minutes the groom shows up with a HUGE smile on his face.
His best man says "dude, I know you're getting married, this is a happy day, but that is quite a smile".
The groom says "I just snuck into the bridesroom and my wife to be gave me the best b**... of my life, honestly I can't believe my luck marrying this woman.
The men walk in and a few seconds later the bride shows up with a HUGE smile on her face. Her maid-of-honor says "sweetheart, you're getting married, it's a great day, but that is quite a smile".
The bride says "I know, but I just gave my laaaast b**...!"