Jewish Holocaust Jokes
23 jewish holocaust jokes and hilarious jewish holocaust puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jewish holocaust that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Jewish Holocaust Short Jokes
Short jewish holocaust jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jewish holocaust humour may include short holocaust jokes also.
- Black jokes are funny, Jewish jokes are funny, Holocaust jokes are funny, 9/11 jokes.... are just plane wrong
- My dad's Christian and my mom's jewish and they LOVE recycling... But it's a little awkward for both me and my grandad on ash wednesday. Sadly he didn't survive the holocaust.
- Did you hear about the Jewish couple that met during the Holocaust? They were star-crossed lovers.
- I complimented my Jewish girlfriend today, but all she did was slap me! Apparently, "You have a smile that could brighten the holocaust" wasn't very appropriate.
- Me: My grandpa died during the holocaust. Others: I didn't know you were Jewish
Me: I'm not, he fell out of the watch tower. - Say what you want about Jewish women being ugly... But during the Holocaust, they were smokin' hot.
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Jewish Holocaust One Liners
Which jewish holocaust one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jewish holocaust? I can suggest the ones about holocaust survivor and genocide.
- Where do Jewish people go to save money on bulk food? Holocaust-co.
- Where did Jewish Rats go during the Holocaust? Mousechwitz
Witty Jewish Holocaust Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about jewish holocaust you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jewish people jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jewish holocaust pranks.
My jewish friend says this is a non-offensive Holocaust joke
A Holocaust survivor died recently. Goes to Heaven and upon meeting God, he decided to tell a Holocaust joke. Then God said "That's not funny", to which the Jew replied "Oh, I guess you had to be there".
An Atheist...
Walks up to the Pearly Gates. God says, "I will let you in if you can make me laugh."
The Atheist asks, "who is the greatest Jewish baker of all time? h**.... He made over 60,000 Jews toast."
God looks at him and says, "A holocaust joke? That is not really funny."
The atheist replied, "Eh, I guess you should have been there."
Hitlers s**...
One jewish man tells a joke to a woman, so he says:
"Why did h**... commit s**...?"
She said: "I don't know."
he replies:".... He saw the gas bill."
Then she said:"That's horrible! How could you say that!"
And he replies: "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be joking about the holocaust. My great grandfather died in concentration camp."
The girl replies: "I'm so sorry to hear that."
And he says: "Yeah, it's sad, he fell off the guard tower."
Multijokes: How many Jews can you fit in a family car.
Standard Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and six-million in the ashtray.
Follow-Up Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and none anywhere else because the Holocaust never happened.
Alternate Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and a family of eight hiding under the roof-rack.
Efficient Answ**e**r: Not enough, we'll need to use trains.
Anti-Joke Answ**e**r: Please tell me, myself and some Jewish friends are going to Florida but ~~cannot afford~~ are too-cheap for plane tickets.
Racist Answ**e**r: Throw a dollar in there and they'll all get in.
A man walks into a bar and sees h**......
A man walks into a bar and sees h**....
"Hey, is that h**...?" he asks the bartender.
"Yeah that's Adolf and his right hand man. Have a cold beer and go introduce yourself!"
The man gets a nice cold bottle from the bartender and makes his way over to h**....
"Hello Adolf."
"How are you?" Adolf asks.
"Good, what are you doing?"
h**...'s right hand man chimes in. "We are going over plans for World War III."
"Ah, what are your plans for it?" the bar visiting man asks.
"Well, we will kill 1 million Jews and 1 bicycle repair man," Adolf's right hand man answers.
"Why are you going to kill a bicycle repair man?" asks the man.
h**... becomes excited and turns to his right hand man.
"Ha! See? I told you nobody would care about the Jews."
--
The Holocaust is a terrible thing. This is a terrible joke. However, it has made people laugh, even Jewish people because it is very unexpected. I have no issue with Jewish men or women.
A 90 year old Holocaust survivor told me this joke.
Two Jewish guys are walking wehn one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says ‟Convert to Christianity, and we'll give you $100.
The one says to the other, ‟should we do it?? The other says ‟NO!! Are you crazy? The first guy replies ‟Hey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars... I am gonna do it. So he walks in to the church, and little while later, he walks back out. The friend says ‟well, did you get the money? He replies ‟Oh that's all you people think about, is not it??
As a man of Jewish descent
As a man of Jewish descent I don't like jokes about us Jews.
I think they often cement prejudices and misinterpretations of the Jewish people and culture.
But every now and then even I enjoy a good laugh and feel that I shouldn't be so serious about everything.
So I have a very good joke about the holocaust here if anyone wants to buy it?
Hitlers s**...
A man is sitting next to his jewish wife and decided to tell a joke:
Man: why did h**... kill himself?
Woman: I don't know. Why did he?
Man: He saw the gas bill!
Woman: agh that is so insensitive.
Man: I know...My grand father died in the Holocaust.
Woman: awww that's so sad.
Man: yeah. He fell off the guard tower
A Jewish Man, Killed in the Holocaust, Rises to Heaven. Once there, he Tells God a Holocaust Joke.
God contemplates the joke briefly before echoing out in a thunderous voice:
THAT'S NOT FUNNY!
The man simply shrugs:
I guess you had to be there.
Probably a repost, but I haven't seen it here...
A Jewish man dies and goes to Heaven.
When he gets there, he meets God, who tells him that he has to tell a good joke to be admitted.
The Jewish man tells him a joke about the Holocaust.
God looks puzzled, scratches his head, and says, "I don't get it."
The Jewish man says, "I guess you had to be there."
Appreciating a joke
As an epileptic, I appreciate jokes about epilepsy. As a Jew, I appreciate Jewish and holocaust jokes. As a Caucasian, I enjoy the very few white jokes.
If only I was an Oompa Loompa, then I can enjoy Donald Trump Jokes.
My Jewish Grandmother's favorite Holocaust joke
It's Winter of 1942 and the German SS is in full extermination mode when a new train of Jews comes into the camp. Immediately the Train Conductor goes to the general and tells the general.
"These are the toughest Jews I have ever seen, General."
The general nods. "Then we will take no chances and immediately send them to the crematorium."
The Jews from the train are herded into the crematorium rooms and locked in for three days while the fires rage on. The general comes back to see the fruits of their labor, the toughest Jews burned to ashes. But when he opens the door...
"What are you doing?! You're going to let all the warm air out?!"
Redeeming jew joke
So I'm at a party, and this guy drops a really offensive jewish holocaust joke. Everybody out the party bursts out laughing thinking it's hilarious, except o**.... When asked why he didn't laugh the guy said: "I don't think holocaust jokes are funny. My grandfather died in the holocaust." Everybody got super quiet, and awkward. About ten minutes passed, and he said: "You guys want to hear his story?" Everyone nodded meekly, and he proceeded to say: "Yeah, one night, he got just drunk and fell off the guard tower." Roaring laughter ensued.