Jewellery Jokes

23 jewellery jokes and hilarious jewellery puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jewellery that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Jewellery Short Jokes

Short jewellery jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jewellery humour may include short jewelry jokes also.

  1. Just found out my wife's credit card was stolen! They are spending it all on jewellery and casinos! But I wouldn't report it because they are spending less than my wife.
  2. There's an emo in my Web Development class, she's doing a website about jewellery Her first page was /Wrists
  3. I'm going to open up an opticians that also sells jewellery and handbags It'll be called Assess your eyes.
  4. I guess I'll be visiting jewellery stores in Indianapolis on 4th of July It is Indy-pendants day after all

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Jewellery One Liners

Which jewellery one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jewellery? I can suggest the ones about jewelry store and necklace.

  1. Your mom so fat.. Her favorite jewellery is the food chain
  2. What did the redditor say after robbing a jewellery store?
  3. I think the Chinese employer liked jewellery... He asked me what I could bling
  4. What kind of stones does a ghost use for jewellery? Tombstones
  5. Why didn't the jewellery store owner feel like eating? Because they'd lost there apitite
  6. My wife's expecting a baby... She has no idea it's jewellery!
  7. What do you call a shiny jew? Jewellery
  8. Home - Buy and Sell used Rolex Watches and Jewellery
  9. If you'd like to help me start up a jewellery shop, give me a ring.
  10. Who "came" first, man or woman? Answer: Jewellery ;)

Jewellery joke, Who "came" first, man or woman?

Comical Jewellery Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about jewellery you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean earrings jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jewellery pranks.

My daughter just walked into the living room and said

"Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop. Please take all of my jewellery to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to my brother. Well, she didn't put it quite like that... she actually said... Dad, this is my new boyfriend, he supports the Lakers"

Wife asks her husband will he remarry if she dies.

Husband: No how can I think of remarrying.
Wife: Why not? You would need a partner for your bad times. Please remarry if I die.
Husband: You are so sweet... Even after death, you are worried about me.
Wife: Will you let her use my car?
Husband: Of course not
Wife: Will you give my jewellery to her
Husband: Not at all, I have some of my memories attached to it. I will keep it as your memory.
Wife: Will you give my shoes to her
Husband: No way... Her size is '5' and yours is '7'.

A thief entered a house one mid-afternoon to find...

a couple in the middle of l**.... He t**... the woman and at gun-point asked the man to handover all their money and jewellery. The man started sobbing and said, "Brother, take anything you want. But please, untie the rope and let her go." The thief replied, "You must really love your wife, having no regard for your own safety." The man said, "No, she's my neighbour's wife. Mine will be back shortly!"

Three men find themselves at a beach-side resort in the Caribbean...

... and they soon begin to discuss their lives and how they came to be there.
The first man says, "I use to run a successful business in the Mid West. One day unfortunately there was a huge fire and my entire warehouse burned to the ground. I collected the insurance on it and decided to move here."
The other two nod, slightly sympathetically.
The second man says, "Similar story here. I used to run a jewellery store back in LA, but unfortunately one night there was a massive break in. I collected the insurance that I had on the jewellery and moved down here to settle."
They look at the third guy. He says, "I used to run a small fishing business on the East Coast. Last year unfortunately the entire thing was ruined by a hurricane. I collected my insurance and moved here."
The first two guys look at each other for a minute. Finally, one says, "How do you start a hurricane?"

A robber enters a house and holds the wife at gunpoint and threatens the husband to hand over all the money and jewellery..

The husband sobs " Please take whatever you want, but leave her alone" .
Robber : " Wow you must really love your wife ".
Husband " Actually she is my neighbour's wife. Mine will come back from shopping any minute" .

A thief walked into a married couple's home mid-afternoon...

He t**... the woman and at knife point asked the man to hand over the jewellery and money.
The man started sobbing and said, Brother, please take anything that you want, but please, untie her and set her free!
The thief responded, You must really love your wife!
Man: No! That's my neighbours wife! Mine will be arriving shortly!!

Chairman Mao was a keen rock climber who managed to scale all the top ten peaks of China. He commemorated his achievement by getting his ears pierced and adding 10 pieces of jewellery to represent each peak.

he was....(ahem)....MaoTenEarring.

Jewellery joke, Chairman Mao was a keen rock climber who managed to scale all the top ten peaks of China. He commemo