Jew Jokes

funny jokes about jew and hilarious stories

BEST JEW JOKES

Jew jokes and pranks to have fun with friends and family. Top 10 jokes about Jew of all time along with the funniest jew gags ever told.

Joke I heard from a 99 year old Holocaust survivor
A Jew gets to heaven after passing and meets god. The Jew tells god a Holocaust joke, but god doesn't laugh. The Jew shrugs and says, "I guess you had to be there to understand".

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On his death bed, an old jew says to his wife:
Oh, Sarah, when the shop burned down you were right beside me, no? - Sure I was, Moshe.

When the Nazis drove us out of our beloved Deutschland you were beside me again, no? - I was, Moshe.

And now you're at my death bed, aren't you? - I am, darling.

I'm starting to think you're bad luck, Sarah.

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Trump is blaming Sanders for the violence at his rally...
because you can't truly be Hitler until you blame a jew for all your problems.

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A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery...
The Arab immediately steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.

He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see a thing."
The Jew says to the Arab, "That's typical of you Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."

He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."

Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one.
The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew swallows that one and asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.

The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "So what did you do with the pastries?"

The Jew replies, "Look in the Arab's back pocket....."

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on a Jew's door...
A Jehovah's Witness knocks on a Jew's door.

Jew: "Can I help you?"

Witness: "Hello sir, I'm here to tell you about the great Lord Jehovah!"

Jew: "Is that what you call him? You know, we have a name for him too..."

Witness: "No way?!"

Jew: "Yahweh."

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Why do Jewish men get circumcised as youth.
Jewish women won't touch anything that's not at least 10% off.

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A Jew, an Irishman, and a black man are in a maternity ward...
A Jew, an Irishman, and a black man are in a maternity ward waiting room. The nurse walks in and explains that there's been a terrible mix up with the babies, and that the fathers are going to have to figure out amongst themselves which baby belongs to whom. The Irishman springs up out of his chair and volunteers to go first.

A few minutes later the Irishman returns holding a newborn black-skinned baby in his arms.

The black man shouts in anger "Now, I KNOW that baby is MINE!" to which the Irishman replies: "One of those babies is Jewish, and I'm not taking any chances!"

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An anti-semite goes to a bar
An anti-semite is drinking in a bar. He notices a Jew sitting at a table nearby and doesn't like it.

"Bartender!" he says, nodding at the Jew, "A round of the good stuff for everyone except him!"

Everyone happily receives a glass of premium scotch.

The anti-semite looks over at the Jew with a smug grin.

The Jew smiles back.

The anti-semite loses his satisfied expression.

"Bartender! Give everyone a drink of your finest, plus an appetizer!"

He looks directly at the Jew and adds, "Everyone except the Jew."

The Jewish man looks at the anti-semite, and smiles again.

Furious, the anti-semite says, "Is that Jew just stupid or pretending to be?"

"Oh no, sir, he's the owner."

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A Jewish man and a Chinese man strike up a conversation...
Before long they're arguing...

Jewish man: "You know what? I hate you."

Chinese man: "For what?"

Jewish man: "Pearl Harbor!"

Chinese man: "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!"

Jewish man: "eh, Japanese, Chinese what's the difference?"

Chinese man: "Well, you kow what? I hate you."

Jewish man: "For what?!?"

Chinese man: "The Titanic!"

Jewish man: "An iceberg sunk the Tatanic!"

Chinese man: "eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

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So a Jewish pedophile walks up to a kid
and says "Hey want to buy some candy?"

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LATEST JEW JOKES

A Jewish man walks up to an Asian man...
The Jewish man says

"Hey, your eyes are really squinted, must be hard for you to see, huh!"

The Asian man says

"Well at least I can see my grandparents."

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Three Jews walk into a bar
Mitzvah.

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Jewish kid calls his dad from college...
...asking for fifty dollars. Dad responds: "Forty dollars? What do you need thirty dollars for?"

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A Jewish girl asks her father for $50
"$40 dollars!" he says, "Why do you need $30?!".

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What do you call a flying Jew?
Ash.

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Why does god always need money?
He's a greedy jew.

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What is a Jewish person's favorite nut?
A cashew.

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Why are Jewish Men Circumcised?
Because Jewish women don't touch anything unless it's 20% off!

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The Pope is walking through the streets of Vatican City...
... and he sees two beggars holding up cans for money. One of them is holding up a Christian cross, and the other a Star of David. The Pope sees that the one with the cross is, of course, getting much more money than the one with the Star of David, with some people only giving money to the Christian to spite the Jew. The Pope decides he has to intervene.

So he taps the Jew gently on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me. I noticed that you didn't have anything in your tin and I wanted to point out that in Vatican City, begging for money with a Star of David isn't a very good method of getting any, especially with a man with a cross next to you. Perhaps you should try a different city?"

The Jewish man laughs out loud, shocking the Pope. He turns to the Christian and exclaims, "Hey Abraham! Look who's trying to teach the Goldberg brothers marketing!"

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A drunk, a jew, a banker, a lawyer, a psychopath, a father, a mother, an ex convict, a runner, an artist, a sous chef, and a Wal-Mart employee walk in to a bar.
The hardworking talented yet troubled transgender orders a beer.

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4 people in the carriage of a train – a Jew, a pretty young blond, an ugly old woman and a Muslim
It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel.
In the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the train emerges from the tunnel the Muslim is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek.
The old lady thinks, I bet that Muslim fondled the blond in the dark and she slapped him.
The pretty young blond thinks, I bet the Muslim tried to fondle me in the dark, got the old lady by mistake, and she hit him."
The Muslim thinks, I bet that dirty Jew fondled the blond in the dark, but the blond thought it was me and hit me.
The Jew thinks, I hope there's another tunnel coming up soon so I can slap that Muslim moron again."

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My girlfriend's body is a temple...
...and I'm a Jew, so I have to come inside it every Sunday.

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My eight year old told me this joke.
What do you call a black jew?


Jigga.

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Why do Jewish women like circumsized penis'
Because they're all 20% off

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How does a Jew make his tea?
Hebrews it!

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What does a Jew do at a coffee shop?
Hebrew's coffee

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A Jewish man had a son, who converted to Christianity.
The man prayed to God, "Oh Lord, my son has converted to Christianity! What should I do?"

And God replied, "Yours too?"

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A jew goes to a hooker
A jew walks up to a hooker and asks her how much for a blowjob.
She responds, "50 bucks."
He replies "40 dollars for a blowjob? You expect me to pay 30 dollars for a blowjob? I'm sorry, but I don't have 20 dollars to spend on a blowjob."

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What do you call a dirty Jew?
Alive.

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My Jewish friend said it was funny
A lot of Jews only voted for Obama because he promised them change.

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JEW JOKES THAT ARE...

Jew jokes can be funny or dirty, insulting of disgusting. Most of them are suitable for kids and family.

BEST DIRTY JOKES

Jew jokes that are one of the dirtiest you can hear.

Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman?
A: Too close to the gas chamber.

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A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, β€œFather, I’m 80 years old, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight attendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.”
The priest says, β€œWell, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?”
β€œNever Father, I’m Jewish.”
β€œSo then, why are you telling me?”
β€œI’m telling everybody!”

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One day a Jew was giving an Asian a blowjob, then, the Asian said do you have homework.


The Jew said no and they continued the blowjob.
Adam was waiting outside for a long time before he decided to walk in.
He walked in to find the Jew getting it up the bum.
Adam decided he wanted to get some action too, so he walked up and took a swing at the Asian.
The Asian died and then the Jew yelled Aluakbah and bombed everyone.
Note: they were all boys.

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Chinese, Japanese, Dirty Knees, Look At These ...
A Chinese man is standing on a street corner waiting to cross.
An elderly Jewish man walks up to him, and to his face, exclaims: "Go to hell! Go to hell, for what you and you people did to the innocent people at Pearl Harbor!"
The Chinese guy, baffled, replies: "The Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, I'm Chinese."
The old jew doesn't want to hear it and says: "Japs, Chinks, you're all the same."
The Chinese man, getting angry, crosses his arms and asks: "Well what about all the innocent men, women, and children your people killed on the Titanic?"
The Jewish man, furls his brown, and in a confused tone states: "The Titanic was sunk by an iceberg."
To which the Chinese man quips: "Iceberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg, you're all the same."

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A young fellow went to a Jewish Doctor and told the doctor he was worried because he could not get an erection.
Whereupon the doctor told him to eat Jewish Rye Bread.
So on his way home, the young man stopped a Jewish Bakery and asked for 25 Loaves of Rye Bread.
The Baker said "25 Loaves? It will get hard before you get rid of it."
Whereupon the patient in excitement said "Give me 50 loaves."

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What do you call a dirty Jew?
Alive.

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BEST BLACK HUMOR JOKES

Jew jokes for those with dark sense of humor.

Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car?
A: Three in the back, two in the front and the rest in the ashtray.

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Q: Where does a black jew go?
A: The back of the oven.

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Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.

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Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He saw his gas bill.

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Q: What do you call a flying Jew?
A: Ashes.

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Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink?
A: Concentrated jews.

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Q: What is the point of Jewish football?
A: To get the quarter back

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Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history?
Hitler.

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Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp?
The kids come back.

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Hitler is daddy!
Hump me!
Fuck me!
Daddy better gas them Jews.


My gas chambers love the smoke.
G-g-gas the Jews.

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BEST RACIST JOKES

Racist jew jokes about racial discrimination.

Q: Where does a black jew go?
A: The back of the oven.

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How do you start a Jewish parade?
Throw a penny down main street.

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How do you get a Jewish girl's number?
You pull up her sleeve.

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Q: What's worse than holocaust?
A: 6M Jews.

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How to tell who is Jewish in your class, drop a penny and see who gets their first.

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Q: Why do Jews have so big noses?
A: Because the air is free.

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Do not be racist , be like Mario.
He's an italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks english, looks like a mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a jew!

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Hitler calls a meeting of his best soldiers and commanders and tells them "Alright I want to order the assassination of one thousand jews and four hedgehogs."
Then one of his generals stands and says "But... Mein furhur why four hedgehogs?"
Hitler then smiles and says "See? No one gives a f*ck about the jews."

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How do you fit 54 Jews in a car?
2 in the front 2 in the back and 50 in the ashtray.

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Q: What's faster than the speed of light?
A: A jew passing Germany.

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WHAT ARE JEW JOKES ABOUT?

Jew is if great topic to laugh at. Some of the funniest jokes ever are about jew.

Are Jew jokes funny? For sure! There is no such thing as boring jew joke here. All jokes are funny in their own way. You can also read jew jokes images on Pinterest or watch videos with jew jokes on YouTube.

TOP MONEY JOKES THAT ARE JEW

Funny jew jokes about the love for money of jewish people.

The Pope is walking through the streets of Vatican City...
... and he sees two beggars holding up cans for money. One of them is holding up a Christian cross, and the other a Star of David. The Pope sees that the one with the cross is, of course, getting much more money than the one with the Star of David, with some people only giving money to the Christian to spite the Jew. The Pope decides he has to intervene.

So he taps the Jew gently on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me. I noticed that you didn't have anything in your tin and I wanted to point out that in Vatican City, begging for money with a Star of David isn't a very good method of getting any, especially with a man with a cross next to you. Perhaps you should try a different city?"

The Jewish man laughs out loud, shocking the Pope. He turns to the Christian and exclaims, "Hey Abraham! Look who's trying to teach the Goldberg brothers marketing!"

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Why do Jewish men watch pornos backwards?
That way they can see the hooker give the money back..

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Why do Jews like to watch porn backwards?
They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.

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Why do Jews watch porno movies in reverse?
Because they like the part where the hooker gives the money back to the guy.

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Why does a jew watch pornography backwards?
He wants to see the prostitute give back money.

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Two Jewish homeless guys
are down and out and just walking down the street when one of the men spots a sign on the Catholic Church and says, Look at that! The sign reads, Convert to Catholic and make $10. The other guy says, I don't know about that. Well I do says the other. I need the money. So the one goes inside and the other, with nothing to do, kicks back on the curb. After an hour and a half the guy comes back out of the church.
So what happened? asks his friend.
I converted, I'm a Catholic now.
Well, did ya get the ten dollars? asks the friend.
IS THAT ALL YOU PEOPLE THINK ABOUT?

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Two Jews are walking in Odessa at night...
Suddenly, in a dark alley, they are surrounded by muggers with knives.

-- Money, watches, wallets - quick!

One Jew turns to the other:
-- Abram, remember, I owe you $300? Here they are, returned to you in front of witnesses.

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Why do Jews watch porn in reverse...
Their favorite part is when the girl gives the money back....

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Why do Jews like to watch porn backwards??
Cause they love the part when the hooker returns the money!

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A Jewish kid asks his dad for money
He asks his dad for 10 dollars.

His dad replies, "8 dollars? What do you need 5 dollars for?"

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A Jewish kid asks his dad for money...
The kid says to his dad, "Dad, I need to borrow fifty dollars."

His dad replies, "Forty dollars! What do you wanna borrow thirty dollars for?!?!"

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Why do Jewish men watch porn backwards?
So they can see the hooker hand the money back.

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Why do jews watch porn backwards?
so they can come when the prostitute hands the money to the guy

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An old Jewish couple is going to bed
The husband can't fall asleep, so his wife asks him:
- Abraham, why can't you fall asleep?
The husband responds:
- I owe Binyamin a lot of money, and I don't think I can give it back in time.
The wife is annoyed, picks up a phone and dials a number on it:
-Hello, Binyamin? Abraham is not going to give the money back!
Then she abruptly hangs the phone, and says:
- If we are not sleeping, he is not sleeping!

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Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He saw his gas bill.

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How do you start a Jewish parade?
Throw a penny down main street.

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How to tell who is Jewish in your class, drop a penny and see who gets their first.

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Why do Jews watch porn backwards?
Because they like to climax at the part when the hooker gives the money back.

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Two Jews during the depression
Two Jewish guys are liking for work during the depression. They come across a atholic church that has a sign saying , "get saved; convert and receive $25".
One if the guys says, "my children are starving, I need that money" and goes in the church. His buddy waits for him and about am hour later he comes out. His buddy immediately ask, "did you get the money" to which the new follower of Christ responds, "is that all you people think about?"

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How did the half Jew, half Muslim save money?
He supported ISIS, but wrote it off as a charitable donation.

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Q: Why do Jews have so big noses?
A: Because the air is free.

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Two Jews walk past a Christian Church.
There was a sign outside saying "If you let us baptize you as a Catholic we'll give you $500 dollars!."

The first Jew raised his eyebrows to the other and said "How about it?". "No!" the other Jew exclaimed, "I'm not forsaking my beliefs for $500!." "Hey money is money| the first Jew shrugged, "besides I'm not even that dedicated to the faith. I'm going in"

Grudgingly the second Jew consents to wait outside while the first Jew goes in to be baptized. He's gone for quite some time, but a couple of hours later he emerges with a beaming smile on his face, looking the picture of spiritual contentment. His curiosity peaked, the second Jew goes up to him and asks, "Well did you get the money?!

"Oh it's all about money with you people!"

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How do you tell when time is reversing?
When a Jew drops a coin on the ground.

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Why do Jews watch porn backwards?
Because their favorite part is when the hooker gives the money back.

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I bought a Jewish sports car.
Not only will it stop on a dime, it will pick it up too.
I've heard they're gas guzzlers though.

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Two Jewish guys are walking when one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says "Convert to Christianity, and we'll give you $100."
The one says to the other, "should we do it?"
The other says "NO!! Are you crazy?"
The first guy replies "Hey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars... I'm gonna do it."
So he walks in to the church, and little while later, he walks back out.
The friend says "well, did you get the money?"
He replies "Oh that's all you people think about, isn't it?"

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A jew, a Greek and an Irishman all die simultaneously and go to heaven...
...When they got there, Peter said, "I will let you return back to earth, but you can't do the one thing you love the most ( The jew loves to horde money, the Greek loves to have sex, and the Irishman loves to drink)

Back on earth, the Irishman is walking down the street and he sees his favorite pub. He thinks to himself, a drink won't hurt, as long as I don't get drunk everything will be ok. He goes in, has a pint, and POOF!! He's in hell.

The jew and the Greek were walking down the sidewalk, when the jew spots a quarter. He instinctually bends over to pick it up, when POOF!! The Greek is gone.

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Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once?
A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.

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Jew joke
Why do Jews watch porn backwards ?

Because they love to see the part when hooker gives the money back

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I became a Jew today
Only in it for the money.

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An American, a Russian and a Jew are caught by cannibals...
...and the chief says to them:

β€” If you do not want to be eaten you have three choices: to pay us $10000, to be beaten by a cane a hundred times or to eat a bag of salt.

The American says "No problem", takes a wallet, pays the money.

The Russian says:

β€” I don't have money and I can't eat that much salt, so beating it is.

He is severely beaten but he makes it and is free to go.

The Jew says:

β€” Ok, I'll try to eat a bag of salt.

He starts eating but after several spoons says:

β€” Ok, I can't do it, I'd rather get beaten.

Cannibals start beating him with canes but after several strikes the Jew cries:

β€” Stop! I'd rather eat salt.

He starts eating salt again and finishes almost a half of the bag then screams:

β€” No more salt! Better beat me instead!

Cannibals start beating him again, 10 strikes, 20, 30, after all the Jew yells:

β€” Stop! Stop it, please. Here is your fucking money!

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A Jew win the lottery.
A Jewish man buys a lottery ticket and wins, he begins handing out money. 100k to his mother, 50k to his sister, so on and so on... He then gives 20 million dollars to the Nazi party. His family is irate. " how could you, you kike bastard, that's just absurd." He replies, "it's the least I could do, they gave me the winning numbers". As he points to his forearm.

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A Jewish boy asked his father "Father, can you lend me 50 dollars?"
The father replied, "40 dollars, What do you need 30 dollars for?"

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An old Jewish beggar was out on the street, begging with his tin cup.


A man passed by and the beggar said to the man, "Sir, could you spare 3 cents for a cup of coffee?"
And the man said, "Where do get coffee for 3 cents?"
And the beggar said, "Who buys retail?"

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Three married couples, one Jewish, one Irish, and one Greek, all die on the same day..
Three married couples, one Jewish, one Irish, and one Greek, all die on the same day and arrive at the gates of Heaven.
St. Peter asks the Jewish man why he deserves to be in Heaven. He replies, "I've been a pious Jew all my life, I attended synagogue every Saturday, and I raised a lot of money for Jewish causes."
"And what is your wife's name?" St. Peter asks.
"Penny," the
man replies.
"Penny?!!" shouts St. Peter. "You Jews are all alike. Money,
money, money. You even married a woman whose name has to do with money! Get out
of my sight! You are damned to Hell!"

Then St. Peter asks the Irishman why he deserves to be in Heaven. "I've been a devout Catholic throughout my life, attended church every Sunday, and always gave generously to the collection plate."
"And what's your wife's name?" St. Peter asks.
"Brandy," the
Irishman replies.
"Brandy?!! You Irish are all alike. Drink, drink, drink.
You even married a woman whose name is a type of alcohol. Get out of my sight!
You are damned to Hell!"

With that, the Greek guy turns to his wife and
says, "Fanny, I think we have a problem..."

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Little Johnny came home from school one day slightly confused.


His mother was Jewish and his father was Hispanic.
So Johnny says, "Mum, am I more Jewish or more Hispanic?"
"What does it really matter? You’ll just have to ask your father", his mother tells him.
So Johnny’s father gets home from work and Johnny asks the same question,
"Dad, am I more Jewish or more Hispanic?"
"What kind of a question is that, does it really matter? Why do you want to know if you’re more Jewish or more Hispanic?" asks his dad.
"Well, it’s like this dad. Tommy down the street wants to sell his bicycle for $50, I don’t know whether to talk him down to $25, or wait till dark and steel the fucking thing!"

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The other day I picked a fight with a Jew and took his money.
I guess you can say he was beaten cents-less.

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An old Jewish man said to wife one day...
"Ethel, when I die I want you to bury me with all my money."

When he died she threw a cheque in the grave.

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Why does god always need money?
He's a greedy jew.

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Jewish kid asks his dad for 50 dollars
40 bucks? You kidding me? What could you possibly need 30 dollars for? 20 dollars is a LOT of money.

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So a Jewish family has a baby!
It's a beautiful baby boy, and they love him very much. The dad wants to know, however, what the little boy will grow up to be like. So he takes the baby to the Rabbi, who says that there's a simple test. On a long table, the Rabbi places a stack of money, a bottle of whiskey, and a Torah. "If your son crawls to the money, he'll have a good job as a banker, and take care of you and your wife until you're dead and gone. If he goes for the whiskey, he's no good, a drunk, might as well drop him at the orphanage on the way home for all the good he'll do you. Finally, if he picks up the Torah, he'll be a Rabbi like me. A good, honest, man of God."

So the father puts the baby on the table, and the baby picks up the money. "YAY!" they cheer, as the baby starts crawling again. Now, the Rabbi looks worried. The baby now picks up the bottle of whiskey with its other hand. "Oh no" says the Rabbi. They then watch as the baby crawls again, and also picks up the Torah. "NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!" the Rabbi cries. "WHAT IS IT??? What's wrong with my son?!?!" the father panicks.

"I'm so so sorry, but your son is going to be the worst thing of all!" says the Rabbi. "Your son is going to be a Catholic!"


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A Catholic and a Jew go to have lunch.
While walking to the restaurant, they pass a church. The catholic stops, does the cross, says amen and they walk to the restaurant.

While walking back to work, they pass the same church and the catholic does the cross again and says amen. the jew looks at him and asks him why he did that. the catholic points to the church and says "that's where god is." they keep walking and turn down a side street as it's faster. While walking down the side street, they pass a bank. the jew stops and does the cross. His buddy looks at him and asks him why he did that. The Jew replies "That's where the money is".

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew?
Sitting at the back of the oven.


And the best part?

You can count all the money you stole.

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why do jews watch porn backwards?
so they can cum when he hands the prostitute money

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Jewish kid asks his Grandpa for money
Grandson: Hey Grandpa, can I have 30 dollars?


Jewish Grandpa: 20 dollars?? What do you need 10 dollars for?!

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TOP DEATH JOKES THAT ARE JEW

Most funny jew jokes about death.

On his death bed, an old jew says to his wife:
Oh, Sarah, when the shop burned down you were right beside me, no? - Sure I was, Moshe.

When the Nazis drove us out of our beloved Deutschland you were beside me again, no? - I was, Moshe.

And now you're at my death bed, aren't you? - I am, darling.

I'm starting to think you're bad luck, Sarah.

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A Jewish dad is lying on his death bed...
A Jewish dad is lying on his death bed, he calls out for his wife and she squeezes his hand and tells him, "I'm here sweetheart."
"Good" he tells her, "and my son?"
"I'm here papa" says the boy.
"Good", says the dad, "and where is your sister?"
"Oh papa, I'm here too!" The girl responds.
The fathers face becomes angry, and he yells, "Then why the hell is the light on in the other room if you're all in this one?"

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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car?
A: Three in the back, two in the front and the rest in the ashtray.

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Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink?
A: Concentrated jews.

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Q: What do you call a flying Jew?
A: Ashes.

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Since we seem to be doing Jewish jokes...
An old Jewish man is on his death bead, surrounded by his loving family, and preparing to move into the Olam Habah.
While he's lying there, he smells a delicious smell and immediately recognizes it as his wife's delicious apple pie.
He whispers to his eldest daughter:
"Sarah, my time has almost come. Would you mind doing me one last favor?"
Sarah replies: "Of course, Abba. What do you want?"
"I want you to go into the other room and get me one last slice of your mother's delicious apple pie"
So Sarah runs off to get a slice of the pie.
She comes back a few minutes later and says "mom says it's for the funeral."

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Q: What is the difference between Harry Potter and a jew?
A: Harry Potter escaped the chamber.

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Two jewelers saw a man get shot to death.
The first jeweler looks at the second and says, "I'm absolutely opalled!

The second just looks down and says, "I dunno man, I'm just too jaded to care."

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Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
A: Santa comes down the chimney.

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Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray?
A: Family research.

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Q: What's the difference between a bullet and a Jew?
A: A bullet actually comes out of its chamber.

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Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once?
A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.

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Two Jews were walking down the street.
I tossed a penny between them and watched them fight to the death.

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this is for my country
Four guys climb the highest observation point in the world. A white guy, black, jew, and german.

Theyr reach the very top and the german leans over the edge and is taken aback by the view.

Suddenly he shouts out "THIS IS FOR MY COUNTRY!" And leaps to his death.

Feeling a sudden urge of patriotism the jew leans over the edge and shouts "THIS IS FOR MY COUNTRY!!!" and leaps to his death.

Scared from witnesing two apparent suicides the black guy leans over the edge to check if the two had survived the fall.

"THIS IS FOR MY COUNTRY!!!' Shouts the white man and pushes the black guy over the edge and proceeds to walk back down.





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The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.

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On his death bed, an old Jew says to his 4 sons:
Old Jew : Joshua, are you here?


Joshua : Yes, father.


OJ : Alon, you?


Alon : Yes, dad.


OJ : Daniel, what about you?


Daniel : Here I am dad.


OJ : And Benjamin?


Benjamin : I am here, too dad.


OJ : SO WHO DA FUK IS LOOKING TO OUR STORE?!?

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CONCLUSION

Best of 54 Jew Jokes. Best jew jokes along with funniest short jokes, which can be racist, black humor, dirty, or about money, success and death.

You've read some of the best jew jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of puns about jew. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty jew gags to your kids.

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