The Best 35 Jew Hitler Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Jew Hitler jokes. There are some jew hitler goering jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jew hitler jewish puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Jew Hitler Jokes and Puns

What makes Hitler better than Jesus?

Jesus could only feed 5000 people with 5 loaves and 2 fish. Hitler made 6,000,000 Jews toast.

Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish

But Hitler made 6,000,000 jews toast

An Arab and a Jew stand in front of a Hitler statue.

The Jew spits on the statue.
Arab: why did you do that?
Jew: because he killed half my people.

The Arab spits on the statue as well.
Jew: why did you do that?
Arab: because he didn't kill the other half.

Hitler dies and God calls him

After Hitler dies, God calls him in His office. When he gets there, God asks "if I gave you the possibility to live another life, what would you do?"

Hitler answers "I'd kill all the Jews and twelve Eskimos".

God promptly asks "Why the Eskimos?".

"See, not even you care about Jews!"

A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler and Stalin.

A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler and Stalin at a table. He asks them what they were doing and was told that they were planning WW3.
Hitler says, "We are going to kill 15 million jews, and a bicycle repairman."
The man, confused asks, "Why the bicycle repairman?"
Hitler turns to Stalin and tells him, "See? I told you no one would care about the 15 million Jews!"


A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler and Stalin...

A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler and Stalin sitting at a table. He walks up to them and asks what they are doing. Hitler says were planning WW3. The man asks what's going to happen this time. Hitler says this time were going to kill 15 million Jews and a bicycle repair man. The man asks why a bicycle repair man. Hitler turns to Stalin and says see I told you know one would care about the 15 million Jews.

After dying Hitler arrives at the gates of heaven

God asks him his name and on hearing "Hitler" instantly remarks that he should be sent to Hell. Hitler pleads to God to atleast consider some merit for him in heaven. To this God rumbles " You persecuted millions of Jews, led a second world war to happen and caused the German people to suffer a lot. On what possible merit would we consider admitting you into heaven ?"

Hitler calmly replies "My Lord, I am also responsible for killing that man"

Hitler and Stalin walk together in the afterlife

... they stop next two people and Hitler tells Stalin: "Let me tell you of my plan: I am going to kill six million Jews and a mechanic.

one of the two people hear this and asks Hitler "Why kill the mechanic?"

Hitler turns to Stalin and says: "see? I told you nobody cares about the Jews"

An Atheist...

Walks up to the Pearly Gates. God says, "I will let you in if you can make me laugh."

The Atheist asks, "who is the greatest Jewish baker of all time? Hitler. He made over 60,000 Jews toast."

God looks at him and says, "A holocaust joke? That is not really funny."

The atheist replied, "Eh, I guess you should have been there."

An old Hitler joke

Some time ago, a medium contacted Hitler's spirit by accident. Out of curiosity, he decided to listen to what Hitler had to say.

"Listen to my words, you little brat: I'm gonna reincarnate someday, and I'm gonna kill six million Jews and two dogs".

"Why the two dogs?" the medium replied.

"See, nobody cares about the Jews!"

Hitler walked in to a bar...

The bartenders says "whoa, hitler I thought you were dead"

Hitler says "no, just hiding. I'm planning to kill the rest of the Jews and 5 clowns"

The bartender asks "why the clowns?"

Hitler says "see no one cares about Jews"

You can explore jew hitler nazis reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jew hitler joseph goebbels dad jokes. There are also jew hitler puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why is hitler a better person than Jesus Christ?

Jesus Christ fed 2000 jews with 5 loaves of bread, while hitler made 6 million Jews toast

Jesus fed 2000 Jews fish and bread.

Hitler made 6 million Jews toast.

What was Hitler's favorite drink?

Orange jews, 100% concentrated

Hitler is sitting in hell with Stalin and Satan chatting...

Satan asks them if either of them have any regrets.

Hitler: You know, I do.

Stalin + Satan: Really?!?!

Hitler: Yea, you know if I could do it all over again, I'd kill 6 million jews and a dog.

Satan: What?

Stalin: Why a dog?

Hitler: See! I told you no one gives a shit about the jews!

Christians always go on about the time Jesus fed five thousand people with five loaves and two fishes...

What about Hitler? He made 6 million jews toast.

What was Adolf Hitler's campaign slogan?

*"Auschwitz the old, in with the Jews!"*

Hitler was talking to one of his generals,

Hitler: I want to kill 6 million jews and 5 clowns.

General: Why the 5 clowns?

Hitler: See? Nobody cares about ze jews!

A man walks into a bar and sees a man that looks like Adolph Hitler

sitting at the end of the bar. He walks up to him and asks "are you really Hitler?" The man stands up and says loudly, "Ja, ich bin Adolph Hitler. I killed 6 million Jews and 1 Mexican." The man says, "wait, why did you kill a Mexican?" Hitler says "Sehen Sie! See? That is what i mean, no one cares about the jews."


Everyone thinks..

Everyone thinks Jesus is soooo good, feeding an army with 3 loaves of bread and a fish.
Hitler's not such a bad guy, he made 6 million jews toast.

So I saw Hitler walking down the street.

I asked him, "So Hitler,what have you been doing recently?"

He said, " Well you see, this time I'm going to kill six million Jews and two clowns."

So I asked "Why the two clowns?"

He replied "See, no one cares about the jews!"

Jesus fed a 100 people bread

Hitler made 6 million jews toast

I'm on the fence about Hitler

On one hand he killed 6 million Jews. On the other hand he did kill Hitler

Hitler in a bar

A.man walks into a bar and sees Hitler there.
He goes up to Hitler and asks "So how many people have you killed?"

Hitler says "I have killed 6 million Jews and 2 clowns "

The man replies "Why did you kill 2 clowns?"

Hitler replies "See nobody cares about the Jews"

A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler...

A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler.

"Hey, is that Hitler?" he asks the bartender.

"Yeah that's Adolf and his right hand man. Have a cold beer and go introduce yourself!"

The man gets a nice cold bottle from the bartender and makes his way over to Hitler.

"Hello Adolf."

"How are you?" Adolf asks.

"Good, what are you doing?"

Hitler's right hand man chimes in. "We are going over plans for World War III."

"Ah, what are your plans for it?" the bar visiting man asks.

"Well, we will kill 1 million Jews and 1 bicycle repair man," Adolf's right hand man answers.

"Why are you going to kill a bicycle repair man?" asks the man.

Hitler becomes excited and turns to his right hand man.

"Ha! See? I told you nobody would care about the Jews."

--

The Holocaust is a terrible thing. This is a terrible joke. However, it has made people laugh, even Jewish people because it is very unexpected. I have no issue with Jewish men or women.

Why was Hitler doomed to fail?

because jew wrongs don't make a riech

So they've finally got Hitler in court..

And the Judge says to him, "Adolf, if you were given a chance to change anything about what you've done, what would you do?"

Hitler replies, "Well first I'd kill a few million more Jews, and then I'd kill a clown."

With a contorted face the Judge asks, "Why would you kill a clown?"

Hitler says, "See--nobody cares about the Jews."

Why do Muslims hate Hitler?

My friend told me this 'joke' after he found out I was Muslim.
Him: Why do Muslims hate Hitler?
Me: Why?
Him: He didn't kill ALL the Jews.

Best Read with a German Accent (Warning: Holocaust Joke)

One day during the war, Hitler gathered his top advisers to hold a top secret meeting. He said "Ok, tomorrow ve vill kill 1,000 Jews and three hamsters". His advisors looked at one another, and one said, "But Hitler, vhy ze three hamsters". Hitler smiled at his advisers and replied, "You see, no one cares about ze jews!"

My time machine landed right in the middle of Hitler's living room

I thought to myself, now's my chance to make the world a better place

"Please sir," I pleaded, "Don't gas the Jews."

"Gas the Jews?" Hitler replied, "Hmm, I hadn't thought of that."

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler. He asks if he can sit with him and ask him some questions, Hitler obliges. After a while the man works up the courage to ask more serious questions.

"How many people did you kill?" asks the man.
"Six million jews and one birthday clown" Hitler answers.

The man's eyes widen.

"Why the clown?" the man asked, after a long period of silence.

Hitler laughs. "I was only joking. See, nobody cares about the Jews!"

Hitler walks into a room... (sorry if repost)

...and says to his staff, "I want you to organise the execution of 10,000 Jews and 1 kitten."
Everyone looks around the table and after a long silence, Goering pipes up, "Mein FΓΌhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?"
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table, "You see, no one cares about the Jews."

Best Hitler Joke That I've Heard

Me: "Hitler Killed 5 million Jews and a Penguin."

Friend: "What? A Penguin?"

Me: "See, no one wants to know about the Jews."

What did Hitler Drink for breakfast?

Jews.

What did Hitler get the Jews for Christmas?

Nothing. Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the jew hitler jews jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working jew hitler himmler piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes