Jet Jokes
132 jet jokes and hilarious jet puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jet that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Tired of the same old jokes? Get some laugh out loud moments at the expense of jets! From fighter jets to private jets to jumbo jets, to Taylor Swift's jet, jet skis, jet lag, Boeing, and more; We'll cover all the ways you can joke about jets and anything related to them! So get ready to be flown away with some hilarious jet jokes!
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Funniest Jet Short Jokes
Short jet jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jet humour may include short plane jokes also.
- My brother just broke the record by downing 22 Russian jets in Ukraine He'll forever be remembered as the worst mechanic in the Russian Air Force
- I like to tell girls I have my own private jet But I always forget to mention that my mom owns the rest of the jacuzzi
- What's the difference between United Airlines and a magician's hat? You can't pull a live rabbit out of a United jet.
- How can you tell when a jet landing in Australia is from England? When the engines are turned off the whining continues.
- What's the difference between Donald Trump and a Jet Engine? The jet engine stops whining when it gets to Florida.
- Why couldn't the monk who flew a helicopter understand the monk who flew commercial jets? Because he was on a higher plane.
- I got jet lag on my last trip to Paris... The French doctor prescribed me something to keep track of time: Queloratil.
- I was playing SimplePlanes on my phone I made a nice jet, but for some reason it didn't seem to work well. But then I realized
I didn't have airplane mode on - How could the footwear exec afford a mansion, a yacht, and a private jet? He was on a real shoestring budget.
- A 37 stone (518 pound) man was forced to pay for two seats on a jet, only to discover that they were two rows apart!
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Jet One Liners
Which jet one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jet? I can suggest the ones about aviation and fighter jet.
- I've got my own private jet... ...but the rest of the jacuzzi belongs to my mom.
- What's the Al-Qaeda's favourite sports team? The New York Jets ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- I quit my job drilling ventilation holes in jet engines... ...it was just plane boring.
- Why did the doctor feel beat after flying United? He had a severe case of jet drag.
- What does a shark call a jet-skier? Fast food. (I'm so sorry)
- Why weren't Soviet fighter jets ever any good? Cause they were always Stalin
- Did anyone else witness that jet crashing into the ocean? It was plane to sea.
- The NY Jets website is down... apparently they can't put together 3 w's
- What do you call an elephant that flies ? A Jumbo Jet...
- My brother took out 23 Russian fighter jets. He's the worst mechanic in all of Moscow.
- What do you call a Russian jet? A jet-ski
- How do you turn $0.35 into $100 000? Throw it into a jet engine.
- What do you call a Polish airplane? A Jet-ski.
- An Arab enters a bar.. Along with 500 passengers and an entire jet
- What size of airplane would little people ride? Mid-Jet!
Jet Engine Jokes
Here is a list of funny jet engine jokes and even better jet engine puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between a Pilot and a jet engine? A jet engine stops whining after it lands
- What's the difference between a jet engine and my wife? The jet engine stops whining when it gets to Miami.
- What did one sub-orbital jet propulsion engineer say to the other? This ain't exactly rocket science.
- Why does a jet engine turbine never sound like waltz? Just because it is a huge metal fan.
- What did the first airplane engine say to the second airplane engine? "Are we there soon?"
"Not jet." - What did the pilot told to passangers when he forgot words "take off"? I activated exploding jet engine mode
Private Jet Jokes
Here is a list of funny private jet jokes and even better private jet puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The King of Spain has sequestered himself on his private jet until his Covid-19 results come back The reign in Spain stays mainly on the plane.
- I can afford to hire a private jet but I prefer to fly British Airways. It keeps me grounded.
- At an age of 24, Penchal —The Young CEO of Pen Groups bought his New Private jet
- What has four legs and is always ready to travel? A zebra with a private jet.
Jet Fuel Jokes
Here is a list of funny jet fuel jokes and even better jet fuel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What would be the American version of "Duck Quacks Don't Echo"? "Jet Fuel Don't Melt Steel Beams".
- Roses are red, their stems are green ... Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams.
- "Pikachu, use astonish!" *Leans into opponent's ear*
"Jet fuel can't melt steel beams." - What can't jet fuel melt melt aside from steel beams? Mountains.
- Funny thing about 9/11.... The fraction can't be reduced by jet fuel.
- And they say jet fuel can't melt steel beams... When Hillary will collapse from too much hot sauce
- Proof that Bush did 7/11 Jet fuel cant melt ICEE's
- Jet fuel Cant melt Steel beams. But steel beams can fall and crush people
- How often does jet fuel melt steel beams? 9/11
- Jet fuel can't melt Steel beams...
Fighter Jet Jokes
Here is a list of funny fighter jet jokes and even better fighter jet puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Pakistan has shot down 2 Indian Jet fighters. Using sophisticated Sikh - Heating missiles.
- The upward ejector seat was a great invention for fighter jets ... ... but I'm happy they didn't put it in a helicopter.
- Why did the fighter jet go to the doctors office? Because it had ejectile dysfunction.
- My love life is like a Russian fighter jet... ... I get shot down before I even get close.
- Why French Fighter jet are name phantom? Because they don't exist.
- What do you call a cross between an Encyclopedia and a squadron of fighter jets? Flying in-formation.
- What do you call a jet fighter when you put a wig on it? A hairier jump jet!
Jumbo Jet Jokes
Here is a list of funny jumbo jet jokes and even better jumbo jet puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A jumbo jet ditches into the caribbean It was plane sailing from then on
Hilarious Jet Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about jet you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean private jet jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jet pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four guys are playing golf together and talking about how successful their sons are.
The first says, "My son is so successful, he's VP of his company and just gave his best friend a car. "
The second says, " That's nothing, my son is CEO of his company and just gave his best friend a house."
The third says, "Well, my son owns 3 highly profitable companies and just gave his best friend a jet."
They look expectantly at the last guy who says, "My son is a gay e**... who gets showered with love and admiration. He just got a car, a house, and a jet from three of his clients."
Three boys were talking after school...
Three boys were talking after school while waiting for their fathers to pick them up. The first one boasts: "My dad is a Formula One driver. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 5:15."
The second boy says: "That's nothing. My dad is a jet pilot. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 5:05!"
The last boy looks at his companions and says: "Pfff.... amateurs! My dad works for the government. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 4:45!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A teacher asks her class "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b**... with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".
The teacher, shocked and not knowing how to respond to this, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. "And you, Susie? " the teacher asks.
Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's b**...."
Welcome to Australia!
A British national travelling to Australia on holiday is stopped at customs after getting off the plane. There, the customs agent asks him, "business or pleasure?"
"Pleasure," he replies.
"Anything to declare?"
"Does jet lag count?" the Brit asks with a cheesy smile. The Aussie customs agent looks up, drearily, unamused.
"Do you have a criminal history?"
Suddenly, the British man becomes concerned, and looks around nervously.
"What's wrong?" the customs agent asks.
"Oh, I'm sorry," the brit replies. "No, I don't. I didn't realise we still needed one of those"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The teacher was asking her students what they wanted to be when they grow up.
When it came to Johnny he said, I want to be a billionaire and go to expensive clubs. I'll get me a b**..., and buy her a million-dollar apartment in Vegas, a Ferrari, a beach house in Miami, a jet to fly with, expensive jewelry and have s**... with her 3 times a day.
The teacher was lost for words and didn't know what to do, so she just proceeded along and asked Marie what she wanted to be.
Marie replied: "I'd like to be Johnny's b**...!!"
Four guys are at a high school reunion and one of them goes to the restroom..
Four guys are at a high school reunion and one of them goes to the restroom.
The other three guys start talking about how succesful their sons are.
Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a cardealership and just gave his best friend a Ferarri.
Guy 2: Thats nothing, my son owns an airliner and just gave his best friend a private jet
Guy 3: Well my son is more success than that, he owns an architecture firm and just gave his best friend a castle
Guy 4 walks out of the bathroom and walks over to the other 3 guys
Guy 4: Hey guys what are we talking about
Guy 1: Oh, we are talking about how successful our sons are
Guy 4:Well, my son is a Gay stripper
Guy 2: You must be so dissappointed with what he's done with his life
Guy 4: Actually, he is doing very well for himself. He just got a Ferrari, a jet, and a caste from his three boyfriends.
A husband and wife...
A husband and wife are celebrating their 10th anniversary. The husband surprises her and takes her on a vacation to a tropical island, far away. Getting excited the wife says, "If this is for our 10th anniversary then what are you planning for our 25th?" The husband says back, "I'll send over a jet to pick you up."
So there is a mother and her daughter sitting on the plane.
They haven't taken off yet and are still on the runway. The daughter, who is pretty young, say four or five, looks out the window and gets to thinking....
"Mommy. If big dogs have puppies and big cats have kittens, then shouldn't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"
And the mom, she's hungover and jet lagged.
"aw, baby, just go ask the stewardess"
So the daughter gets up to ask the flight attendant.
"Hey stewardess lady, if big dogs have puppies and big cats have kittens then shouldn't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"
And the stewardss says "did your mother tell you to come ask me this?" The girl nods.
"well, you see, sweetheart, this is JetBlue. And we always pull out on time. That's why there's no baby airplanes. Go ask your mom about that."
Fighter jock and the cargo pilot
A cargo plane is flying along, doing its cargo plane thing, when a fighter jet comes up alongside.
The fighter jock decides to poke some fun at the pilot who's forced to fly such an ungainly vessel.
"My plane's so much more advanced than yours. Watch this" says the jock, as he proceeds to do loop-de-loops, barrel rolls, corkscrews, and all manner of fast paced aerial acrobatics.
"Very impressive," responds the cargo pilot. "But that's nothing, watch this." For a half hour the large craft simply plods along straight as an arrow, not even so much as dipping the wings.
After a while, the cargo pilot comes back on the radio and says "So, what'd you think?"
Jock: "What d'you mean? You didn't do anything. You just flew straight for a while."
Cargo: "Oh no, that wasn't all. I got up, stretched my legs, got some coffee, went to the bathroom..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So there were 4 people on a private jet
Oprah Winfrey, Donald trump, Barack obama, and this little girl.
In the middle of there flight, the engine shuts down and and there going to c**....
So Oprah Winfrey says the world needs me and grabs a parachute and jumps off.
Then Donald trump grabs a parachute and jumps off without saying anything.
Then there's only one parachute left.
Barack Obama says to the girl, little girl, you are the future to our country, you take the last parachute.
Then the little girl says actually there's two left.
Barack Obama says how ?
Then the little girl says because trump just took my school backpack.
I was at the grocery store with my gpa when a couple girls in super short skirts walked by....
Gpa said, looks at those jet skirts, as we both admired the two ladies. I had to know, what's a jet skirt? Gpa replied, it's a skirt so short that when they bend over you can see the cockpit.
The teacher asks all the students to draw something on the board that's exciting...
All the other kids draw rockets, jet planes, roller coasters, and so on. But little Johnny goes up to the board, draws a dot, and sits down.
The teacher says "Johnny, there's nothing exciting about a dot. How can a dot cause excitement?"
Johnny replies "That's not a dot, it's a period, and my sister just missed hers, and it's causing a lot of excitement at our house!"
Murphy and Seamus
Two Irish pilots, Murphy and Seamus, are flying a Ryanair Ltd. jet on its final approach at Cork Airport.
Murphy says: BuayJesus! Maury an' Josefff! Look how short this runway is.
Seamus replies: Yes, but look how fookin' wide it is!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Headache
Guy gets home from the bar and he wants some s**... time but he finds his wife asleep. So he proceeds to go to the bathroom and makes a lot of noise rummaging the medicine cabinet. The wife wakes up.
Wife: What's with the noise?
Husband: just open up your mouth.
She opens up jet mouth and he proceeds to shoot two pills into her mouth.
Wife: what was that?
Husband: two ibuprofen for your headache.
Wife: but I don't have a headache.
Husband: that's what I wanted to hear
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
what do you call a giraffe with a jet stuck in it's t**...?
A plane in the neck.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three guys are aboard a jet as it's about to c**... and there are only two parachutes...
The first guy has the parachutes and gives both of them to the others, the second guy says thank you and jumps. The third guy before jumping asks "Wow, why would you do such a thing, why not save your own life?". The first guy then looks at him and says, "What are you crazy, I gave the second guy an empty backpack".
A stuttering man wants to join the army
So he arrives at the base and gets in line. The first man approaches the drill seargent.
"Soldier, what do you want to do?"
"I want to drive a tank!" He is put to the tanks
The next man approaches. "I want to fly a plane!". So he takes to the skies in a fighter jet.
The stutterer then comes up.
"What do you want to to?"
"uh....uh-uh-uh---uh-uh-uh-uh..."
He was put in charge of the machine guns.
A joke from one of my friends who's an airline pilot
So he often says, right before take off "Ladies and gentlemen I'd like to thank you for choosing Jet Blue and would also like to thank the wonderful flight attendants for their professionalism and dedication to trying to make your flight as safe and comfortable as possible. However, you won't find any of those people on this flight. So sit back and please fasten your seat belts as we will shortly begin our ascent"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friends and I have a lot of fun riding jet skis That time we had a fatal c**... on the coast was especially hilarious.
We littorally died.
Batman walks into a bar with a pig...
It was a hot summers day and the barman thinks it's a strange sight, not to just see Batman, but to see him with a pig that has jet black hair, black eye shadow and studded bracelets.
The barman says "Is there anything I can get you Batman?"
He replies "Just-ice for goth-ham"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Fine Bros can't sue metal beams,
Because they don't react to jet fuel.
I was cleaning out my elderly neighbour's back garden yesterday when I came across a lamp.
I rubbed the side to give it a clean, and a genie appeared in a puff of smoke
"I'll grant you any wish for releasing me from the lamp!" he boomed.
I looked up and noticed a passenger jet in the sky. In need of a holiday, I said "I wish I was on that plane."
With a whoosh, my wish was granted.
Ten minutes later, I landed at Birmingham Airport.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do a c**... and a fighter jet have in common?
A cockpit.
Reindeer joke!
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer passed away today at the age of 57. He was struck by a 747 jet liner and a flock of seagulls as he flew over Barcelona. Coroners say that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two women were chatting in the airport lounge…
The younger one says I must be jet lagged, I went to get my ticket to Pittsburgh and asked for a picket to dicksburgh
The older one replies and says I know what you mean, I called my husband to remind him to take out the trash and instead said 'you ruined my life you drunken b**...'
What's the only thing more terrifying than Thanos wearing the Infinity Gauntlet?
Thanos wearing the Infinity Gauntlet while playing a Jet in a production of West Side Story
Do you want to play a Russian drinking game?
It's simple. If you see a Malaysian Airlines jet in the sky, take a shot.
Gliding Eagles
Two eagles were gliding at a high altitude and discussing life, when a F-15 fighter jet zooms above them. It throws them off course and ruffles up their feathers.
They calm down and get back on track gliding next to each other.
The first eagle, excitedly 'Wow!! Now thats what I call speed!!'
The second eagle, calmly replies 'Trust me. You would be flying that fast too if your sphincter was on fire.'
Standing in Schiphol airport, I overheard the two women next to me. One was trying to remember the name of the Dutch company that builds jet planes. I knew the answer and thought....
Fokker.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
4 Guys walk into a bar and get on the subject of their successful sons...
...The first man says My son's so successful he bought his friend a Ferrari. That's cool, the second man says but my son is so successful he bought his friend a private jet. The third guy says That's pretty nice of them but my son bought his friend a deluxe yacht. The third guy turns to the fourth and says what does your son do for a living? The fourth man says my son is a gay stripper. You must be disappointed the third man said. No, I'm proud of him, he has already gotten a Ferrari, a private jet and a deluxe yacht.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a rich Blonde is...
Flying over the Everglades when her private jet has a malfunction and crashes.
Having survived the c**... she graps her designer bag, puts on her $1000 shoes and stumbles over to the exit where the captain is opening the door.
taking one look over the wild swamp outside she first looks desidedly unhappy but to the captains surprise she then lightens up, turns to him and smiles.
"Oh, Well. at least they got rescue boats from LaCoste"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a Boko Haram training camp and a Nigerian r**... camp?
I don't know, I just fly the fighter jet.
I can make you speak even MORE Irish.
Say this five times fast:
"Your fork can eat jet."
What do call it when a flight simulator is being slow?
Jet lag.
An Australian is traveling to New York. The jet lag is a bit too much so he decides to sleep it off.
When he wakes in the morning he goes outside and almost gets hit by a taxi. The driver says "watch where your going pal! Did you come here to die?" The Australian replies " Nah mate, I got here yesterday."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lead singer gets blown by a big fan backstage at the end of a concert and all the band members find him n**....
Group: Ewww! Get a room!
Singer: I would if you could fit three blades the size of a jet engine into my living room!
What is the last straw for a jet pilot?
...9G, maybe even 10.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yes, It's true eagles can soar...
...but at least weasels don't get s**... into jet engines.
More Bad United Joke
You know you feel jet lagged after flying on delta.. So how do you after being on United.
Really beat.
How many Nascar drivers does it take to blow up a jet dryer?
Just Juan
When my wife wants to cuddle in bed, I make her play the big spoon..
That way when she farts, she farts away from me. She's like my little jet pack.
What is the difference between a computer and a jet airliner
About 250 lives, depending on which one crashed.
Why couldn't Billy the Jet go flying with his friends?
Because he was grounded.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies...
who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Bud says, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane h**... and get completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings... It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, well there's just one thing..."
"What's that?"
"Have you f**... yet?" "No....."
"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in PHOENIX!!!"
Why did the plane cross the road?
To jet to the other side.
How does Jackie Chan like his massages?
Jet Li.
My girlfriend's mood swings and my jet lag have one common cause
Period
Today marks the completion of the Mexican presidents official jet...
Air Force Juan
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've come a long way
since attaching a big jet propeller to my s**... duct
I have awful jet lag
The WiFi on this airliner is just terrible
Navy jet pilot: This is it! We're flying faster than the speed of sound!
Copilot: What?
