The Best 21 Jeselnik Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Jeselnik jokes. There are some jeselnik unicyclist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jeselnik anthony jeselnik puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Jeselnik Jokes and Puns

I have a kid in africa

which I feed, clothe and school for less than a dollar a day, which is really cheap.

Ofcourse the plane ticket to send him there was quite expensive, but now it's really working out.

(stolen from the awesome Jeselnik)

Careful what you wish for!

I don't think I ever got over
my grandmother's death when I was a kid.
My grandmother died from a heart attack
during my ninth birthday party.
Literally while she was eating cake.
And I guess that must have screwed me up a little bit.
I mean, I still have birthday parties.
But now I'm just careful what I wish for.

β€”Anthony Jeselnik

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha?

I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

*-Anthony Jeselnik, Shakespeare*

Jeselnik joke, Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha?

Its not easy Making Fun of Retarded People

You Really have to explain it to them

--- Anthony Jeselnik

When I graduated high school I wanted to buy a motorcycle..

When I finished high school I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had an uncle who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle. - Anthony Jeselnik


My dad doesnt trust anyone, in fact he has a saying about it

But he wouldnt tell me

Credits: Anthony Jeselnik

Just heard my ex just moved in with her boyfriend and he's abusive. Makes me wanna go over there with a baseball bat...

... and then blame it on the boyfriend

Credits ~ Anthony Jeselnik

Jeselnik joke, Just heard my ex just moved in with her boyfriend and he's abusive. Makes me wanna go over there wit

I just found out my grandmother only has one day left to live. And I know this might sound cruel...

...but I'm not paying the ransom. -Anthony Jeselnik

I spend 2 years looking for my ex-girlfriends killer...

But so far no one will do it..

Credit to Anthony Jeselnik.

Segura's favorite Jeselnik

When I finished high school I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle.
But my mom said no.
See, she had an uncle who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18.

And I could just have his motorcycle.

- Anthony Jeselnik

(Segura asked him to tell this one on Your Mom's House, and he did.)

I saw some horrible comedian making jokes about the Boston Marathon...

Some lines must not be crossed.



(Source: Anthony Jeselnik I think)

You can explore jeselnik winch reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jeselnik illiterates dad jokes. There are also jeselnik puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My parenrs were very principled people...

When I was young, they caught me smoking one Newport. They proceeded to force me to smoke the whole pack, just to teach me a valuable lesson..

..about brand loyalty.

_ credits to Anthony Jeselnik

You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub...

And you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.

.
.
(Anthony Jeselnik)

I never know what to say to something after they've lost their baby.

"Oh I'm sorry for your loss," doesn't cut it.

That's why I keep my mouth shut and let my lawyer do the talking.

*

*Source: Anthony Jeselnik*

"One of my friends has gotten so many DUI's.....

that he had to go to jail for a year. And his only concern was getting raped. So he didn't shower for an entire year...... because he was so busy getting raped."

- Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend keeps complaining that chivalry is dead..

I said "Honey chivalry is alive and well, you're thinking of your mother."

Credit : Jeselnik

Jeselnik joke, My girlfriend keeps complaining that chivalry is dead..

Can someone please explain this joke to me? I really don't get it.

So I was watching this stand-up comic named Anthony Jeselnik and while the rest of his show is hilarious, there was one joke I just don't get at all.

"I once mowed the lawn at a battered woman's shelter... if you know what I mean".

Yea; I'm seriously stumped.

The day of the Boston massacre as soon I heard about I said that some lines just shouldn't be crossed especially not the finish line

I will give credit where credit is to : Anthony Jeselnik

I found this website that tells you how many sex offenders are in your area. Apparently, there are 34 sex offenders in my area.

So why do we always have to meet at my place?

- Anthony Jeselnik


Smelly Roommate (Anthony Jeselnik)

I once had this Eastern European roommate who never showered or used deodorant. He smelled awful and after a while it got unbearable. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he smelled bad, so I left him a note one morning in the bathroom, "Dear Olaf, get out of my country"

-Anthony Jeselnik

Superpower

One friend to another:

Friend 1: Hey, if you could have any superpower, which would you choose?
Friend 2: I'd want super strength.
Friend 1: Well I'd want Cold War Russia.

Source: Anthony Jeselnik?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the jeselnik jennifer jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working jeselnik gears piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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