The Best 68 Jersey Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Jersey jokes. There are some jersey jets jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jersey jersey shore puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Jersey Jokes and Puns

I was watching Jersey Shore the other day when I thought...

I didn't know I had animal planet.

If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey, what would Delaware?

I don't know but Alaska

What's the difference between heroin and the cast of the jersey shore?

I wouldn't shoot heroin.

Jersey joke, What's the difference between heroin and the cast of the jersey shore?

Jets Fan

A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey helmet and is holding Jets pom poms.

The bartender says,"Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"

The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!"

After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning him that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.

The game begins with the Jets receiving a kickoff. They march down field stop at the 30,and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five.

The bartender says,"Wow that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?"

"I don't know," replies the owner, "I've only had him for four years."

Know why New Yorkers are so cynical?

For them, the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.


I thought Jersey Shore was going to be about Jersey cows.

I was right.

What's the difference between a hockey team and a New Jersey hooker?

A hockey team showers after 3 periods.

Jersey joke, What's the difference between a hockey team and a New Jersey hooker?

This Hurricane should have been called Snooki...

The're both heading to the Jersey Shore with plans to blow everyone in a 50 mile radius.

Did you hear what sandy did to New Jersey?

A few billion dollars worth of improvements

Snooki's kind of like Hurricane Sandy...

She's large, slow-moving, an has blown just about everyone in the Jersey Shore.

Did you hear about this year's newest fad diet coming out of New York and New Jersey?

The swim-fast diet.

You can explore jersey philadelphia reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jersey mets dad jokes. There are also jersey puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Two bulls are standing in a field.....

..its a cold morning and one bull says to the other..
"It's a bit chilly this morning"
to which the second bull says
"I know, i might just go slip into a jersey........."

What's the difference between a Greyhound terminal in New Jersey and a voluptuous lobster?

One's a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean

What's the Difference between NHL Players and the Jersey Shore Girls?

NHL Players shower after three periods.

Jersey Girls aren't trash

Trash gets picked up

Jersey Shore star Mike Sorrentino was indicted on tax charges today

The Situation does not look good legally.

Jersey joke, Jersey Shore star Mike Sorrentino was indicted on tax charges today

Why does California have more lawyers and New Jersey have more toxic waste dumps?

New Jersey got to choose first

Why are New Yorkers always so depressed?

Q: Why are New Yorkers always so depressed?
A: The light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.

A Joke for Hockey Fans

A Devils fan, a Rangers fan and an Islanders fan are all standing at the edge of a cliff, staring death in the face. The Devils fan screams out "this is for New Jersey!" and proceeds to jump, plummeting to his death. The Islanders fan then screams out "this is for New York!" and shoves the Rangers fan off the cliff.


Since I have a lot of exams next week...

I decided to buy a Seahawks jersey. That way, I'm sure to pass even if I shouldn't

Thinking about opening up a sperm bank in New Jersey.

Gonna call it: "Get a load of this guy over here!".

I'm getting tired of riding to work from New Jersey to Manhattan with my neighbors

I guess I'm getting Carpool Tunnel syndrome

I was making out with my girlfriend in my car when she said "OOH DARMOK!! KISS ME DOWN WHERE IT SMELLS!"

...so I drove her to New Jersey.

Why did Kobe Bryant go to New Jersey after he got arrested?

Because he needed one.

Why did Jason Pierre-Paul change his jersey number from 90 to 9?

Because he lost a digit!

TIL The New Jersey Devils have never changed their logo or uniform design/colours.

No new New Jersey jersey.

Why did New York get all the lawyers, and New Jersey all the toxic waste sites?

New Jersey picked first.

If Mississippi wears her New Jersey, what does Delaware?

I dunno, Alaska.

How do you kill a vampire from New Jersey?

With a New York steak.

She said "kiss me wear it stinks"

So I took her to New Jersey and kissed her

As a new yorker i was excited about a wall that keeps foreigners from taking our jobs

Then I learned the wall wasn't being built around New Jersey.

If Mississippi went to Missouri for a New Jersey what did Delaware ?

Don't know, Alaska

Do you want my Aaron Hernandez jersey?

Its hanging in my closet.

Why are New Yorkers so skeptical about everything?

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey

BREAKING: Helicopter crash in a New Jersey cemetery

300 dead bodies recovered so far

I walked into a bar and saw this girl wearing a Falcons jersey.

I walked up and introduced myself as, "25 point lead".

"Is that your real name?", she asked.

I said, "No, but I figured anyone wearing a Falcons jersey would blow a 25 point lead."

Last week, I took a Dallas Cowboys jersey away from my 2-year-old nephew.

It was a choking hazard.

Pennsylvania and New Jersey changed their state mottos today in order to cut their highway budgets.

Now they both proudly display "Road Work Ahead. Expect Delays" on their welcome signs to better reflect the status of their roadways.

What did Michael Sorrentino say when they asked him if he would be ok with wearing adult diapers on some of the new episodes of Jersey Shore?

It depends on The Situation.

In a progressive move, Mattel is making a new boyfriend for Barbie who's a homeless man from New Jersey

Hobo Ken.

A guy is scoping out chicks in a bar...

...when he sees one wearing a Kansas City Chiefs jersey.

He walks up to her and says, "Hi. My name is 21 Point Lead."

The woman laughs and replies, "That's not your name!"

The guy says, "You're right, but I figured anyone wearing a Chiefs jersey would blow a 21 point lead."

Where do hockey players go to get another uniform?

New Jersey

Why are New Yorker's sad?

The light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.

I was putting on a Warriors jersey...

But my friend said "that's a choking hazard."

I finally realized why the painting of Washington crossing the Delaware is such a big deal

It depicts the last time someone willingly entered New Jersey.

Why do Long Islander's have the lowest suicide rate in the US?

Jersey is the light at the end of the tunnel.

My girlfriend told me to kiss her where it stinks.....

So I drove her to New Jersey

Why do people drive so fast in New Jersey?

So as to get the f\*ck out of New Jersey.

Why are people in New York always so sad?

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is *New Jersey*

How do you get a Rams fan to stop beating his wife?

Put her in a Patriots jersey

What does Deleware?

A New Jersey

Imagin you are walking along the boardwalk in New Jersey when you see an anti-vaxxer and a flat-earther drowning in the ocean...

do you grab dinner before you go to the movies or see the movie first?

How to fix a broken vacuum.

If you ever come a cross a broken vacuum, put a toronto maple leaf hockey jersey on it.

It will start sucking right away.

What did Delaware

New Jersey

Mississippi lent missouri her new jersey so what did delaware?

idaho but alaska

Why are New Yorkers always so grumpy?

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.

If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey to wear at the fair, what will Delaware?

I don't know but Alaska.

Why did the farmer wrap the cow around his body?

It was a jersey

I saw a video of a man burning a Washington Redskins Jersey.

You can tell it was authentic because of the smoke signals.

If Miss. Issippi, gave Miss. Ouri, her new jersey, what would Dela wear?

I don't know, but AL ask.

My friend claimed that all Jersey girls are trash.

I said that isn't true, trash gets picked up.

Why are New Yorkers so depressed

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey

If Mississippi lent Missouri her New Jersey, what did Delaware?

I don't know; Alaska

A guy from Jersey bought a search engine and some fireworks.

He bought-a-bing and bought-a-boom

I got my wife a Colin Kaepernick jersey

So she's spend more time on her knees




Cr

Why is everyone in New York depressed?

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey

How do they teach the alphabet in New Jersey?

Fuckin-A, Fuckin-B, Fuckin-C...

Why are people from New York always depressed.

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is always Jersey.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the jersey new jersey devils jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working jersey jersey girl piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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