The Best 17 Jerry Seinfeld Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Jerry Seinfeld jokes. There are some jerry seinfeld elaine jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jerry seinfeld jerry seinfeld puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Jerry Seinfeld Jokes and Puns

A joke on telemarketers from Seinfeld

**Jerry:** This isn't a good time.

**Telemarketer:** When would be a good time to call back, sir?

**Jerry:** I have an idea, why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you back later?

**Telemarketer:** Umm, we're not allowed to do that.

**Jerry:** Oh, I guess because you don't want strangers calling you at home.

**Telemarketer:** Umm, no.

**Jerry:** Well, now you know how I feel.

A riddle for the day

A riddle for the day

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Madonna doesn't have one.

The Pope has one but doesn't use it.

Clinton uses his all the time.

Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.

Liberace never used his on women.

Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.

Cher claims that she took on 3.

We never saw Lucy use Desi's.

What is it? Answer below! (this is pretty good )

----------------------------------------------------------

The answer is: "A Last Name."

Sorry Folks...No Dirty Jokes Here!

What were you thinking?

Schwarzenegger has a big one,
Michael J. Fox has a small one,
Madonna doesn't have one,
The POPE has one but doesn't use it,
Clinton uses his all the time,
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one,
George Burns' was hot,
Liberace NEVER used his on women,
Jerry Seinfeld is very very proud of his,
We never saw Lucy use Desi's
what is it?

Public speaking is the #1 fear of the average person. #2 is death.

This means that at a funeral, more people would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.

-Jerry Seinfeld

Two cannibal clowns are eating Jerry Seinfeld..

One asks, "Does this taste funny to you?"

The other replies, "Nah, it's just bland.. maybe a little dry."


When Jerry Seinfeld dies...

I really hope his tombstone says:
*Jerry Seinfeld
1954 yadda yadda yadda 20XX*

Jerry Seinfeld at a Poker game:

What's the deal?

So a pair of cannibals are sitting down to a nice meal...

...of Jerry Seinfeld.

A while into the meal, one of the cannibals says,

"I'm going for the forehead, do you want any?" as he cuts a slice from the front of Jerry's scalp. The other cannibal declines, shaking his head and saying,

"What's the deal with hairline food?"

What type of roller coaster goes through the Bronx?

The type where people scream in the flat parts.

-Jerry Seinfeld

I went to a Jerry Seinfeld stand-up last night. It was actually really disappointing; he didn't use any of his old jokes I used to love...

Like, what's up with that?

A riddle for today

A riddle for today

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Madonna doesn't have one.

The Pope has one but doesn't use it.

Clinton uses his all the time.

Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.

Liberace never used his on women.

Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.

Cher claims that she took on 3.

We never saw Lucy use Desi's.

What is it?

[The answer is: "A Last Name."
Sorry Folks...No Dirty Jokes Here!] (/spoiler)

You can explore jerry seinfeld seinfeld episode reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jerry seinfeld tom restaurant dad jokes. There are also jerry seinfeld puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Two cannibals were eating Jerry Seinfeld...

One looks at the other and asks Does this taste salty?

Two gentiles meet on the street.



One says, "How's business?"

The other says, "Great!"

How does Jerry Seinfeld play ice hockey?

With his Shtick.

Did you hear Jerry Seinfeld is hosting a new poker show

Its gonna be called "What's the Deal?"

Curse of Oak Island

The show "Curse of Oak Island" takes Jerry Seinfeld's concept of a show about nothing to a hole new level.

Why'd the guy use the Jerry Seinfeld themed enema?

For sh*ts and giggles

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the jerry seinfeld kramer jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working jerry seinfeld jerry piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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