The Best 37 Jenny Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Jenny jokes. There are some jenny jackie jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jenny johnny puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Jenny Jokes and Puns
Why can't a lesbian diet and wear make up at the same time?
Because..........It is hard to eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on her face.
LESBIAN DIET
Q: Why cant a lesbian go on a diet and wear makeup at the same time?
A: Because they cant eat Jenny Craig and have Mary Kay on their face at the same time.
How little stefan got a brand new watch..
Little Stefan comes in to school one morning wearing a brand new watch. His best friend, little Jenny, wants to know where the watch is from, so Johnny tell his story," I was coming from the bathroom to my bedroom when I heard a strange noise from my parent's bedroom.
I walked in and saw them bouncing up and down. Dad said I could have anything I wanted as long as I didn't tell the family. I asked for a new watch and here it is."
Jenny decides she wants one too, so night after night she listens outside her parents' bedroom for any strange noises and, sure enough, eventually she hears some banging and groaning from the other side of the door.
She walks in and catches her parents in the act, so her dad offers her anything she wants to keep quiet about the whole affair. Jenny immediately says, "I want a watch."
The dad sighs and says, "Alright, but go and stand in the corner and don't make any noise . "
This was my grandma's favourite joke
Jenny walks into the doctor's office for a checkup, and the doctor needs to check her heartbeat.
"Pull your sweater up real quick, and I'll use the stethoscope.
There we go, thank you. Big breaths, Jenny."
"Yeth, I know, and I'm only thixthteen!"
John Snow.
John Snow was at a bar outside the great wall drinking. A beautiful girl comes inside and her eyes meet his. She likes him, so she goes and introduce herself.
-Hello, handsome. My name is Jenny Spring. What's yours?
John laughs and continues with his drink.
-Why is this funny?
John responds,
-Nothing. I just imagine how rare it would be to have 7 inches of Snow in spring...
Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the name Jenny on it
Husband: I took part in a race last week
and Jenny was the name of my horse.
Wife: Sorry..!
Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again
Husband: What now..?
Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.
You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take
-Jenny Mccarthy
Johnny: Will you marry me?
Johnny: Will you marry me?
Jenny: You have to ask my father first.
Johnny: (later) Well, I asked him.
Jenny: And what did he say?
Johnny: He said he's already married.
What do you do to turn off sexy Jenny?
"It may not be long, but it sure is skinny"
I used to love going whale watching every Saturday...
At least that was until the security guard at Jenny Craig took my binoculars away.
Johnny threw a pack of cards at Jenny
Jenny started crying but the teacher told her to deal with it
You can explore jenny jen reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jenny festivities dad jokes. There are also jenny puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Limericks by Jenny
There was a young woman named Jenny
Whose limericks were not worth a penny.
Oh, the rhyme was all right,
And the meter was tight,
But whenever she tried to write any,
She always wrote one line too many!
Maths lesson
Jimmy comes home from school and his mum asks him what he's learned
today. "I learned that if I have three apples and Jenny gives me two more apples, I'll have five apples."
"That's right," says his mum. "So if you have four bananas and I give you three more, how many will you have?"
"Dunno. We haven't done bananas yet."
Jenny
1) I woke up.
2) Went to school.
3) I saw her.
4) I ran to her and hugged her.
5) I kissed her.
actually, the right order is 2,3,4,5,1
What moved less than Jenny McCarthy's forehead tonight?
Mariah Carey's mouth.
Jenny Craig
I dropped 40 pounds on Jenny Craig.
I think I broke her leg!
"My name is Talia, my mother gave me that name." [NSFW]
Batman: Is your first name Jenny? Coz then you'd be Jennytalia, and I hear you're a total cu**.
I Dropped 40 Pounds on Jenny Craig
"Oh my gosh is she ok?"
Two women are discussing their love lives
Jo says: "I have to be careful not to get pregnant."
Jenny looks confused. "But I thought Tony recently had a vasectomy."
"He did." says Jo. "That's why I need to be extra careful."
My lesbian friend told me she was having trouble losing weight.
I guess it's hard to eat Jenny Craig when you've got Mary Kay on your face.
Jenny hated having periods.
Then she met James.
Now from last 3 months, she is not having periods anymore.
James is a magician.
The teacher asks her students to use the word "contagious" in a sentence.
Jenny pipes up instantly; "My mum has the flu, I think it's contagious!".
"Excellent work!", the teacher responds. "Anyone else have an example? What about you Seamus?"
Seamus McDougall, the new Irish exchange student, thinks for a moment.
"M' Pa made me lunch t'day, but it took the contagious!".
If Jennifer Lopez was alive in Mediveal times and forced into execution,
would she be dubbed "Jenny on the block"?
Jenny Mccarthy better be careful outside in the cold in NYC.
She might catch polio.
Why couldn't the esthetician go on a diet?
Because it's too difficult to eat Jenny Craig when you already have Mary Kay on your face.
Do you know what Jenny dies of at the end of Forest Gump?
Poetic Justice.
A period in a sentence can change everything
For example:
Jenny had her third sandwich today.
Jenny had her third period today.
I've been on Jenny Craig more times than....
Mr. Craig
Jenny was walking home from school one day.
Suddenly she saw her little brother Tom running from school to home. She got worried and asked:
"Tom, why are you running?"
"I'm trying to prevent a fight between two boys"
"And who are those boys?"
"Jeff and I"
In Saudi Arabia, they don't have Jenny Craig...
They have Saladin instead
So we were learning about passive and active voices,the teacher asked me if "jenny was eating a sausage" was active or passive.
I told him neither because there are only objects in the sentence.
Why do lesbians hate wearing makeup when they're on a diet?
Because they don't like having Mary Kay on their face while they're eating Jenny Craig.
"The word of the day is 'contagious'" Said the teacher, "Who can use it in a sentence?"
Little Jenny stood up and said "My dad has a cold and said its contagious"
The teacher praised Jenny and ask for an example from another student.
Billy stood up and said "Miss, my mum has the flu, and I think its contagious"
Happy with Billy's response, the teacher asked for one more student to stand up and give an example.
Little Johnny stood up...
"Miss, my next door neighbour is painting his house with a 1 inch brush and my dad said its going to take the contagious."
A wife his her husband with a rolling pin
A wife hits her Husband with a rolling pin, the husband says ouch! What was that for?
The wife then tells him I found a piece of paper with the name Jenny on it
The husband then tells her that Jenny was the name of the horse he put a bet on last week.
The wife apologises to him.
The next the wife hits her husband with a rolling pin.
The husband says ouch! What was that for?
The wife then says your horse is on the phone
If someone made a sculpture in Minecraft of J-Lo.
Would you name it Jenny from the Block?
Who are the two most impunctual actors in Hollywood?
Jenny S'late and Christian S'later
Problems
Husband approaches his wife, Jenny, I think I have a problem.
Jenny smiles at him kindly, Darling, your problems are my problem also. A trouble shared is a trouble halved. Tell me.
OK, says the husband, in that case, we got the neighbor pregnant.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the jenny dictate jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working jenny laurie piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.