The Best 35 Jehovahs Witness Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Jehovahs Witness jokes. There are some jehovahs witness witnesses jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jehovahs witness testified puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Jehovahs Witness Jokes and Puns

Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween

I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their door.

My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion.

He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.

Ever wonder how a Jehovah's Witness spreads their word during Covid?

Now that you're here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

Why don't Italians like Jehovah's witnesses?

Italians don't like ANY witnesses.

What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness?

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.


A Jehovah's Witness knocks on a Jew's door.

Jew: "Can I help you?"

Witness: "Hello sir, I'm here to tell you about the great Lord Jehovah!"

Jew: "Is that what you call him? You know, we have a name for him too..."

Witness: "No way?!"

Jew: "Yahweh."

TodayI discovered that Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate halloween...

I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their doors

Jehovah's witnesses are always banging on my door everyday

Joke's on them, I'm never letting them out of my basement.

Two Jehovah's Witnesses knock on someone's door

The house owner opens the door. "Good morning, would you like to learn about God today?" The houseowner was a little bored, and slightly curious, so he lets them in. They slowly enter, and sit down on the couch across from the houseowner. After a few seconds of silence, the houseowner asks, "Well?" The Jehovah's Witnesses look at each other and says to the houseowner, "We don't know what to say, we've never made it this far."

Just had a Jehovah's Witness come to the door and ask if I had found Jesus yet.

I said no, isn't he under the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program?

My drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness as a disguise...

He eventually got arrested after the police saw that people actually let him in

You can explore jehovahs witness defendant reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jehovahs witness prosecution dad jokes. There are also jehovahs witness puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why are there no jehovah's witnesses in Italy?

The mafia doesn't like witnesses.

A Jehovah's Witness Came By Yesterday

A Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door yesterday, so I answered it and asked if he wanted to come in he said, "Yeah, okay."
I said I've put on a pot of coffee, do you want some? He said, "Yeah, sure."
I said I've just made some toast do you want a slice? He said, "Yeah, why not."
I then motioned toward the kitchen table and we both sat down. We sat and looked at each other awkwardly for a moment. Then I asked him, "So what now?" He said, "I don't know I've never got this far before..."

Jehovah's Witness



I was just wondering………..if a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to heaven and knocks on heaven's door….. does Saint Peter answer the door or does he hide like the rest of us???

You know the only good thing about quarantine?

I haven't seen a jehovah's witness in awhile.

The Jehovah's Witness don't seem to get the hint with my Koran, so...

Islam the door in their face

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah witness and a Mormon?

I have no idea but I can't get him off my porch

A Jehovah's Witness knocked at my door this morning.

Could you spare a few moments to talk about the Judgement Day? he asked.

Well, I replied, I'm not a big fan of the Terminator series. I Said

Why do Italians hate Jehovah's Witnesses?

Because Italians hate any witnesses.


I get a lot of solicitors at my house, salespeople, charity seekers, Jehovah's Witnesses, I've seen them all. But today I got someone at my door asking if I eat enough vegetables

I wasn't expecting some sort of spinach inquisition!

What is a jehovah witnesses favorite band?

The Doors.

God is in an argument with Jehovah...

about which one of their faiths is the true one.

"That's it, I've had it with this! I am taking the matter to the supreme court." he said

"I'd like to see you try." said Jehovah. "I have witnesses."

Did you hear that Judas turned state's evidence against the lord?

He had to go into the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program.

What do a Jehovah's Witness and my boyfriend have in common?

I never let them come inside, no matter how much they beg

What's a quick way to get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses?

Ask them if they're here for the orgy.

Why do Jehovah's Witnesses use Macs?

They prefer to not have windows.

[For those that don't get it, their churches, called "Kingdom Halls", frequently are built without windows. The official reason given is to avoid vandalism but the real reason is usually secrecy. Generally if the group builds a church it won't have windows. Source: my ex-wife was a former member]

What do you call a chinese Jehovah's witness?

Ding Dong

Why don't Jehovah Witness' get killed during an earthquake...

Because they are always in your doorway.

At The Door

One day, a woman's doorbell rang. The weather was very bad. The woman opened the door, and there stood a young girl, a Jehovah's Witness, soaking wet. The woman felt sorry for her, so she asked the young woman into the house for a cup of coffee and to dry off.

The woman wanted to make conversation as the two drank their hot chocolate, so she asked the Jehovah's Witness, "So, what's the message you're passing along?'"

The girl stuttered and said, "I'm not sure. I never got this far."

A couple of Jehovah witnesses!

A couple of Jehovah witnesses knocked on my door. When I answered, they asked "If they could come in and talk to me about Jesus."

I said sure and walked them to my living room. After sitting down on the sectional, I said ok what do you want to talk about?

They replied, " we're not really sure sir, we haven't ever made it this far before."

A very jolly father named his son Jehovah

so as to laugh at his witness at a wedding

Why do Jehovah's Witnesses hate Halloween?

They have to compete with other strangers going door-to-door.

What are Jehovah witnesses called in Chinese?

Dind Dong

What's a Jehovah's Witnesses' favourite part of Middle Earth?

More door.

A jehovah's witness knocks on a door

An old jew opens it. The jehovah's witness asks excuse me, sir, but have you had a chance to read the bible?

Oh, my dear, replies the jew, we wrote it.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the jehovahs witness murder trial jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working jehovahs witness testify piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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