Jehovah Witness Jokes
66 jehovah witness jokes and hilarious jehovah witness puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jehovah witness that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of jokes about Jehovah's Witnesses!
Funniest Jehovah Witness Short Jokes
Short jehovah witness jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jehovah witness humour may include short jehova witness jokes also.
- Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their door.
- Ever wonder how a Jehovah's Witness spreads their word during Covid? Now that you're here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
- What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness? Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.
- How do you stop Jehovah Witnesses from coming to your door? Going into Jehovah Witness Protection.
- Just had a Jehovah's Witness come to the door and ask if I had found Jesus yet. I said no, isn't he under the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program?
- My drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness as a disguise... He eventually got arrested after the police saw that people actually let him in
- Jehovah's Witness
I was just wondering………..if a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to heaven and knocks on heaven's door….. does Saint Peter answer the door or does he hide like the rest of us???
- You know the only good thing about quarantine? I haven't seen a jehovah's witness in awhile.
- A Jehovah's Witness knocked at my door this morning. Could you spare a few moments to talk about the Judgement Day? he asked.
Well, I replied, I'm not a big fan of the Terminator series. I Said - Knock, Knock. Warning. Warning.
If you receive a knock knock email. Do not open it.
It will be Jehovah Witnesses working from home.
Share These Jehovah Witness Jokes With Friends
Jehovah Witness One Liners
Which jehovah witness one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jehovah witness? I can suggest the ones about witness and watchtower.
- Why don't Italians like Jehovah's witnesses? Italians don't like ANY witnesses.
- Why are there no jehovah's witnesses in Italy? The mafia doesn't like witnesses.
- Is it mean to tell a knock knock joke to a Jehovah's Witness?
- A Jehovah's Witness tried to tell me a knock-knock joke once... But I ignored him.
- A very jolly father named his son Jehovah so as to laugh at his witness at a wedding
- What's a Jehovah's Witnesses' favourite part of middle earth? More door.
- Why don't the Clintons like Jehovah's Witnesses? The Clintons don't like ANY witn
- What do jehovah's witnesses believe in? That I will open the door
- Why do Jehovah's witnesses hate Halloween? They don't like people knocking on their door!
- What r two words u should never say to a Jehovah's Witness? Come in!
- What is the name of a Jehovah's Witness's place of worship? Your doorstep
- If a religious person testifies in court... ...does that mean they're a Jehovah Witness?
- Why do Jehovah's Witnesses believe Christ had no beard? Jesus shaves.
- What is a Jehovah's witnesses' favourite part of ikea The door department
- What is jehovah's witnesses called in China? Pling Plong
Witty Jehovah Witness Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about jehovah witness you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean witness protection jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jehovah witness pranks.
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness.
He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jehovah's Witness Came By Yesterday
A Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door yesterday, so I answered it and asked if he wanted to come in he said, "Yeah, okay."
I said I've put on a p**... of coffee, do you want some? He said, "Yeah, sure."
I said I've just made some toast do you want a slice? He said, "Yeah, why not."
I then motioned toward the kitchen table and we both sat down. We sat and looked at each other awkwardly for a moment. Then I asked him, "So what now?" He said, "I don't know I've never got this far before..."
God is in an argument with Jehovah...
about which one of their faiths is the true one.
"That's it, I've had it with this! I am taking the matter to the supreme court." he said
"I'd like to see you try." said Jehovah. "I have witnesses."
Why do Jehovah's Witnesses use Macs?
They prefer to not have windows.
[For those that don't get it, their churches, called "Kingdom Halls", frequently are built without windows. The official reason given is to avoid vandalism but the real reason is usually secrecy. Generally if the group builds a church it won't have windows. Source: my ex-wife was a former member]
A Jehovah's Witness knocks on a Jew's door.
Jew: "Can I help you?"
Witness: "Hello sir, I'm here to tell you about the great Lord Jehovah!"
Jew: "Is that what you call him? You know, we have a name for him too..."
Witness: "No way?!"
Jew: "Yahweh."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Atheist, a Vegan, and a Jehovah's Witness walk into a bar..
I know because they told everyone in less than a minute.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a chinese Jehovah's witness?
Ding d**...
What does a tweaker and a Jehovah's Witness have in common?
Both ride bicycles and are on a mission.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Italians hate Jehovah's Witnesses?
Because Italians hate any witnesses.
Two Jehovah's Witnesses knock on someone's door
The house owner opens the door. "Good morning, would you like to learn about God today?" The houseowner was a little bored, and slightly curious, so he lets them in. They slowly enter, and sit down on the couch across from the houseowner. After a few seconds of silence, the houseowner asks, "Well?" The Jehovah's Witnesses look at each other and says to the houseowner, "We don't know what to say, we've never made it this far."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jehovah's witnesses are always b**... on my door everyday
Joke's on them, I'm never letting them out of my basement.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump opens a window in the white house to let a fly out..
And In comes 3 bees, 5 mosquitoes, 2 Jehovah's witnesses and some i**... Mexicans.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a Skoda and a Jehovah's Witness?
You can close the door on a Jehovah's Witness.
I saw justice in action today for the first time ever.
I went out for breakfast this morning with my girlfriend, saw a Jehovah's Witness lock himself out of his own house. Kept ringing the bell.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Jehovah's Witnesses hate Halloween?
They have to compete with other strangers going door-to-door.
Jehovah's Witnesses
Jehovahs Witnesses: Do you have time to talk about our lord and savior?
Me: Of course! please come in!
[door slams shut and locks, lights dim, PowerPoint presentation begins]]
Me: But first I wanna tell you about a timeshare opportunity!!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when you cross a Jehovah witness and a m**...?
I have no idea but I can't get him off my porch
I've just joined the Jehovah's Observers.
It's like being a Jehovah's Witness but we don't like to get involved.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An office hired a m**... and a Jehovah's Witness.
Soon after, there was an open door policy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a quick way to get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses?
Ask them if they're here for the o**....
A jehovah's witness knocks on a door
An old jew opens it. The jehovah's witness asks excuse me, sir, but have you had a chance to read the bible?
Oh, my dear, replies the jew, we wrote it.
A group of Jehovah's witnesses were walking around in a big city.
One of them said " looking at beautiful women is a sin. So, whenever you see one, always say "Oh Lord! Forgive me".
After sometime one of them said "Oh Lord! Forgive me"
Everyone else said "where?"
I get a lot of solicitors at my house, salespeople, charity seekers, Jehovah's Witnesses, I've seen them all. But today I got someone at my door asking if I eat enough vegetables
I wasn't expecting some sort of spinach inquisition!
Did you hear that Judas turned state's evidence against the lord?
He had to go into the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program.
What do a Jehovah's Witness and my boyfriend have in common?
I never let them come inside, no matter how much they beg
At The Door
One day, a woman's doorbell rang. The weather was very bad. The woman opened the door, and there stood a young girl, a Jehovah's Witness, soaking wet. The woman felt sorry for her, so she asked the young woman into the house for a cup of coffee and to dry off.
The woman wanted to make conversation as the two drank their hot chocolate, so she asked the Jehovah's Witness, "So, what's the message you're passing along?'"
The girl stuttered and said, "I'm not sure. I never got this far."
I once knew a Jehovah's Witness who became a stand-up comedian.
But all he knew was knock knock jokes.
You Know It's Hot When ...
Cows are giving evaporated milk ...
Chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs ...
Catfish are already fried when caught ...
Jehovah Witnesses start telemarketing ...
I had a Jehovah witness
Knock on my door one day and asked to come in and speak with me about Jesus.
I said sure come on in, so we went to living room and sat down. And I asked, so what do you want to talk about?
And they said we're really not sure we have never made it this far before.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Which part of Italy has no Jehovah's Witnesses?
Sicily. It's a really dangerous place for witnesses.
I'm in the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program.
I have to go door-to-door and tell people I'm somebody else.
Sicily isn't a safe place for Jehovah's Witnesses.
I've heard that Sicilians really don't like witnesses.
