Jeffersons Jokes
37 jeffersons jokes and hilarious jeffersons puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jeffersons that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Jeffersons Short Jokes
Short jeffersons jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jeffersons humour may include short jokes also.
- I told my girlfriend I was named after Thomas Jefferson. She said, "Your name is Brian."
I said, "Right. But I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson." - Coining Money. George Washington: We should put "We Trust In God" on our money.
Thomas Jefferson: Great idea! Did you get that?
Yoda: Yep - What do you get when Lincoln, Washington, Jefferson, and Roosevelt fall in poison ivy? Mt. Rashmore.
- I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, But dad, your name is Brian.
I said, I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson. - July 4th, 1776 British: Just saying it, doesn't make you independent..
Thomas Jefferson: I didn't say it, I declared it. - Be the change you wish to see in the world. -Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Thomas Jefferson
- What do George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Abraham Lincoln have in common? They were the last three white guys with those last names.
- My two favorite presidents are Jefferson and Lincoln The respective "Hit it and Quit it" of American slavery
- It's a shame American football wasn't around during Thomas Jefferson's youth. He would've made a great Nickelback.
- Did you hear Jefferson Starship's new song about Settlers of Catan? We built this city! We built this city on Wheat and Ore!
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Jeffersons One Liners
Which jeffersons one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jeffersons? I can suggest the ones about and .
- Since I moved to Jefferson city I'm in state of Missouri ):
- Why do so many sad people go to Jefferson City? Because Missouri loves company.
- Happy Birthday to Thomas Jefferson! The founding father of light-skinned black people.
- What band performed at the Jefferson memorial? Nickelback
- Why didn't Thomas Jefferson drive a jeep Wrangler? Because he always fought for LIBERTY!
- What four presidents are always hard? Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Roosevelt
- Why did Thomas Jefferson stop being president? He could make change on his own.
- George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Yoda.
- What did Thomas Jefferson grow? Old.
Jeffersons Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about jeffersons you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jeffersons pranks.
Oldy repurposed
Trump was feeling the pressure of the office and stood before the protraits of our greatest leaders.
Looking at Washington, the Donald said:
"George, you were the first. Can you give me some advise?"
A ghostly voice replied
"Tell the truth"
Trump knew that wouldn't work, so next went to Jefferson.
" Tom, you wrote the constitution. Do you have any words for me?"
Another voice said "Be for the people"
As he had always placed himself before everyone, Trump moved on.
He stood before Lincoln and asked " Abe, you are one of the greatest. Can you advise me?"
A new voice drifted by saying
"Go to the Theater"
Well, I was just thinking about all the possible things that could make the new president comfortable in the White House. Putting graffiti on the walls of the White House that says, "Cheney was here," or changing the president's theme from "Hail to the Chief," to the Jeffersons' show's theme song, "We're moving on up."
Ghosts in the Whitehouse
One night, Donald J Trump was awakened by George Washington's ghost in the Whitehouse. Trump asks "George, what is the best thing I can do to help the country?"
"Set an honest and honourable example, just as I did" Washington said.
The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved though the dark bedroom. "Tom," Trump asks, "What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"
"Cut taxes and reduce the size of government," Jefferson advises
Trump didn't sleep well the next night, and sees another figure moving in the shadows. It's Abraham Lincoln's ghost. "Abe. what is the best thing I can do the help the country?" Trump asks.
Abe answered, "Go see a play"
Hi my name is Jefferson
- Ok, Mr. Jeferson.
- No, it is wrong. It's with two F's.
- Jeferfon???
Clinton consults the past
Hillary went for a walk one morning and came upon the Washington monument. She asked, "George, what should I do?" After a few seconds a ghostly voice replied, "Abolish the IRS and start over." She thought about this for a few seconds and continued her walk.
Shortly afterwards she stepped up to the Jefferson Memorial and stopped to ask "Tom, what should I do?" After a few seconds Tom's disembodied voice replied, "Abolish welfare and start over."
She thought about this while continuing on to the Lincoln Memorial, and once again she asked the same question. After a few seconds Abe replied, "Why don't you take the night off and go to the theater?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A billionaire decides to build a palace
A billionaire decides to build a palace to bring the best musicians of the 60's together in one place. After a year of hammering, sawing, and painting the palace is finally finished. It's perfect – marble, chandeliers, and concert halls; dozens of swimming pools and tennis courts. Excited, the billionaire sends out his invitations. A few weeks later he sees Jefferson Airplane, The Beetles, Jimmy Hendrix and a hoard of 60's luminaries standing in the grass, but none are coming inside. Paul McCartney is playing cards with m**... Jagger.
The billionaire is stunned. I've spent a year building this palace, making it perfect in every detail for the best musicians the 60's has ever known. Why won't you come inside?
John Lennon adjusts his glasses and calls out: You forgot The Doors.
Hillary Clinton is elected president, . . .
and on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A couple wants to have a q**......
...but their son is in the house. So they tell him to go out on the balcony and tell them what's going on in the neighborhood while they do their thing. He proceeds to the balcony and begins reporting what he sees.
"Looks like the Jeffersons got a new dog." he said.
"Oh! And the Alans are moving out." he exclaimed.
"Look at that. Looks like the Johnsons are having s**...."
The couple stops dead.
"How do you know the Johnsons are making love?" said the boys father.
After a short pause he replies,
"Becase their kid is out on the balcony."
Hillary Clinton gets elected President and is spending her first night in the White House.
She has waited so long…
The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Washington says, "Never tell a lie."
"Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don’t know about that."
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears…
Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Jefferson says, "Listen to the people."
"Oh! I really don’t want to do that."
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears…
Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Lincoln says, "Go to the theater."