The Best 88 Jeans Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Jeans jokes. There are some jeans pants jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jeans jean claude van damme puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Jeans Jokes and Puns

Researchers have discovered that diarrhea is influenced by genetics.

Their evidence: It runs in your jeans.

Why don't girls have beards?

It's in their "jeans" ;)

Support the war on crack.

Stop wearing low rise jeans.

Jeans joke, Support the war on crack.

Did you hear the one about the shark that liked to eat people wearing jeans?

It sounded something like
Den-im Den-im Den-im
(Read it out loud)

William Shatner is going to sponsor a new line of women's jeans made to hide adult diapers underneath.

They're going to be called Shatner Pants.

Most of my family has diarrhea

it runs in our jeans

A cowboy takes a break from the range and heads out to LA for a cowboy convention . . .

When he gets to LA, he decides to stop at a local watering hole and grab a beer. He's sitting there in his hat, jeans, and boots, when a woman walks up and sits down beside him.

Woman: Are you a cowboy?

Cowboy: Well yes ma'am, I am.

Woman: Like a real deal cowboy?

Cowboy: I don't know any other kind.

Woman: I've never met a real cowboy before.

Cowboy: Well now you have.

Woman: Well?

Cowboy: Well what?

Woman: Aren't you going to ask what I am?

Cowboy: Well, uh, what are you?

Woman: I'm a lesbian.

Cowboy: A lesb- . . . I don't believe I know what that is.

Woman: It means that I like women. I like to kiss them and touch them and make love to them.

Cowboy: . . . .

The woman gets up and leaves and another woman comes into the bar. She spots the cowboy sitting there with his beer and takes a seat beside him.

Woman: Are you a cowboy?

Cowboy: Well ma'am, I thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.


Jeans joke, A cowboy takes a break from the range and heads out to LA for a cowboy convention . . .

Why was diarrhoea classified under hereditary diseases?

It runs in the Jeans.

Mario's Jeans

What kind of jeans does Mario wear?

*(in appropriate melody)* Denim, denim, denim...

"Doctor, Doctor...

I've had diarrhea for 3 days, and I think it might be hereditary"

"Hereditary? What makes you think it's hereditary?"

"It's in my jeans"

Do these jeans make me look fat?

wife : Do these jeans make me look fat?
Me totally scared: Would you get mad if i tell you the truth?
Wife : No, i won't! Tell me.
Me : I slept with your sister

You can explore jeans jean reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jeans baggy dad jokes. There are also jeans puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

The Good Old Days!

Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular to his grandson.

"When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves o' bread, a magazine, and some new blue jeans... all for a dollar!!

"Grandson, "You can't DO that anymore..... they got those darn video cameras everywhere you look." 

I told my dad I had diarrhea

He said don't worry son it runs in your jeans

Blonde and The Holy Man

Blonde: "I have heard that you can perform miracles. Can you demonstrate it to me?"

Holy Man: "Sure, why not. Remove your jeans, turn around and then bend down".

Blonde does as asked.

Holy Man: "Now can you feel my finger?"

Blonde: "Yes".

Holy Man: "But see, both my hands are up".

Blonde: "Wow. Superb".

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!

The job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in his jeans.

How do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat?

When she fits in your wife's jeans.

Jeans joke, How do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat?

So my genetics professor reported this morning that diarrhea has a genetic basis

According to her, it runs in our jeans.

I ripped a hole in my jeans.

Now my pants are on their last leg.

I know skinny jeans are fashionable...

But as a slightly chubby man, I just can't seem to be able to pull them off

they'll never listen to us

Wife: I lost my keys again

Me: Its in your jeans

Wife: Don't drag my family into this

Did ypu know premature ejaculations are hereditary?

It comes in your jeans.

The difference between sexists and misogynists...

Sexist: I like my women like I like my jeans - loose in the crotch!

Mysogynist: I like my women like I like my jeans - acid washed!

A heavily pregnant woman goes into labor in a retail store.

A crowd gathers around her as people struggle to help, or at least make her comfortable.

Panicked a man looks around and asks "Is anyone here a doctor?!"

From the crowd steps a man wearing skinny jeans and a plaid shirt, with short, neat hair and a scruffy beard. "I'm a vegan!"

The farmer asked the scarecrow why he keeps his job in the field...

The farmer asked the scarecrow why he keeps his job in the field. The scarecrow turned to the farmer and said, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay... it's in my jeans."

How are skinny jeans like a small mansion?

They have no ball room.

What do skinny jeans and cheap hotels have in common?

No *ball*room

Mom: Wear your jeans! There are too many mosquitoes outside.

Feminist daughter: Don't teach me what not to wear. Teach the mosquitoes how not to bite.

What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common?

They both have little boys' jeans half off.

Have you heard about the girl with a hereditary disease that gives her diarrhea?

It runs in her jeans.

What's a depressed teenagers favorite activity?

Making their wrist look like their jeans.
(I'm sorry)

My dad suffers from bowel incontinence, and so do I ...

It runs in my jeans.

How are a pair of skinny jeans like a cheap motel?

No ballroom

I decided to see what it was like to live as a woman.

So I sewed all the pockets of my jeans shut.

Diarrhea is actually genetic.

It's in your jeans.

So I found out today that my diarrhea is hereditary

It runs in my jeans

Credit to /u/jdabarber

Vladimir Putin to begin marketing Kremlin brand jeans

Each pair comes with a complimentary Donald Trump in the back pocket.

I have chronic diarrhea. My dad also has chronic diarrhea, and his dad had it too...

It runs in our jeans.

Wife: Do these jeans make me look fat?

Husband: Come on honey, let's not blame it on the *jeans*.

Where is my wife

A young man and an old man bumped shopping carts at the grocery store.
Young man: I am sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. I was looking for my wife.
Old man : Sorry. I was also looking for my wife.
Young man: Well maybe we can look together. My wife is 24. She is 5'2". She has short black hair. She is wearing a pink tube top and blue Jeans. What does your wife look like?
Old man: It doesn't matter. Lets look for yours.

You go to a Halloween party wearing nothing but blue jeans. When someone asks you who you are, you reply, "I'm a premature ejaculator."

You see, I just came in my pants.

"Credit goes to some dudes post on something earlier, couldn't find it to give him credit. Thought it was too funny not to share."

TIL that diarrhea is hereditary.

It runs in the jeans.

Being a scarecrow isn't easy...

but hay, it's in my jeans

Why are guys who wear skinny jeans bad at sex?

They can't get them off

I accidentally left my wallet in my jeans when I put them in the washing machine.

A few days later I got arrested for money laundering.

Michael Jackson should have opened a clothing line for pants.

He could have called it Billie Jeans.

Those prices are THRILLER!
No one can BEAT IT!

Kids pants would be half off there.

As a scarecrow, people say I'm outstanding in my field.

But hay, it's in my jeans.

Diarrhoea is heredetary.. runs in your jeans.

When I go to a costume party this year, I'm showing up wearing only a pair of jeans.

That way when I'm asked what my costume is, I'll say "I'm a premature ejaculator. I just came in my pants."

I wear dad jeans, have a dad bod, and tell dad jokes...

Funny, since I've never even had sex.

"Doctor, I think I have genetic diarrhoea"

"But diarrhoea isn't genetic"
"Well, it's in my jeans"

As a famous scarecrow once said...

"This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

My dad come up to my room, and handed me my soaking wet wallet, after accidentally leaving it in my jeans as they went through the wash.

"Son, you're going to have to stop money laundering."

I got this new pair of jeans and they're really stretchy so I call them my dancing pants...

because of the ballroom.

Why modern man jeans feels like a cheaply made castle?

No ballroom.

Diarrhea is genetic

It runs in your jeans

My grandpa just walked into the room with a young man wearing skinny jeans and a beard.

I said, Who is this, grandpa?

Grandpa: He's my hip replacement.

I like my women like i like my jeans...

Skinny, tight, and ripped...

My explosive diarrhea must be hereditary...

...because it runs in my jeans.

Did you know that Diarrhea is genetic?

It runs in the jeans

What did they find under Michael Jackson's pillow?

Billy's Jeans

What do skinny jeans and modern houses have in common?

No ballroom

Tomorrow is Downs Syndrome Awareness Day

You're supposed to wear crazy socks.

I'm just going to wear extra jeans.

Why shouldn't you buy cheap jeans from Northern Ukraine?

Chernobyl fallout.

A girl who caught me looking at her very toned legs in jeans.

Her: "Whatcha looking at?"

Me: Sorry your legs look great in those

Her: You should see me without them.

ME: Why would you take off your legs?

As a fat guy, I tend to avoid wearing skinny jeans.

I find it very difficult to pull it off.

Why is denim better than leather?

It's has superior jeans

Did you know diarrhea is heridetary?

It runs in your jeans.

My Gf tried wearing tight jeans once.

She just couldn't pull it off

Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary

It runs in your jeans

We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea.

Runs in our jeans.

My four-year-old came up with this one:

What do you call a hobbit in blue pants? Lord of the jeans.

(This was after he heard the Alexa ask, what do you call a hobbit playing a fiddle? Lord of the Strings )

What do skinny jeans and motels have in common?

No ballroom.

I didn't know what to wear to the Premature Ejaculator's Gala...

So I just came in my jeans.

What do skinny jeans and a cheap hotel have in common?

There's no ballroom.

Friend told me this a couple years ago. I was reminded today, by wearing skinny jeans and tugging at my crotch the entire time.

Why is diarrhoea, an inherited disease?

Because it runs in your jeans!

The zipper on my jeans came off just before I was about to get on the plane to go on vacation and the airline wouldn't board me.

They said I was on the no fly list.

I asked a tailor to hem my jeans

He did a bad job of it so I ended having to go to the retailer

My dad handed down to me a hereditary disease that causes diarrhea all the time.

It runs in the jeans.

What's got 24 legs and flys?

12 pairs of jeans

I was excited to find $20 in the back pocket of an old pair of jeans

but the guy wearing them didn't seem as excited.

TIL: Diarrhoea is hereditary

It runs in yo' jeans.

Did You Know that Diareah Problems are Hereditary

It Runs In your Jeans

They say diarrhea is hereditary.

Because it runs in your jeans.

Financial Advisor: "I don't quite know how to break this to you but you're basically broke." Wife: "He's always spending money on stupid stuff!"

Me: "Lets ask the dog if he thinks his jeans are stupid."

Do you know why they give those tiny pockets on jeans?

It is for your salary.

Scientists have found out that diarrhoea is hereditary

It runs in your jeans.

I just did 10 pull ups this morning

These jeans are tighter than I remember

Everyone in my family is bad at holding in their piss.

Sadly, it runs in our jeans.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the jeans skinny jean jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working jeans skinny jeans piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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