Jeans Jokes
144 jeans jokes and hilarious jeans puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jeans that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of jeans jokes. From classic one-liners to funny puns, we've got you covered.
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- Short Jeans Jokes
- Jeans One Liners
- Skinny Jeans Jokes
- Pair Jeans Jokes
- Jeans And Genes Jokes
- Ripped Jeans Jokes
- Mom Jeans Jokes
- More Jeans Jokes
Funniest Jeans Short Jokes
Short jeans jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jeans humour may include short denim jokes also.
- My dad come up to my room, and handed me my soaking wet wallet, after accidentally leaving it in my jeans as they went through the wash. "Son, you're going to have to stop money laundering."
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
The job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in his jeans. - I have chronic diarrhea. My dad also has chronic diarrhea, and his dad had it too... It runs in our jeans.
- Michael Jackson should have opened a clothing line for pants. He could have called it Billie Jeans.
Those prices are THRILLER!
No one can BEAT IT!
Kids pants would be half off there. - Have you heard about the girl with a hereditary disease that gives her diarrhea? It runs in her jeans.
- What's the difference between mark zuckerberg and Jean Luc Picard? Picard didn't sell Data.
- So I found out today that my diarrhea is hereditary It runs in my jeans
Credit to /u/jdabarber - William Shatner is going to sponsor a new line of women's jeans made to hide adult diapers underneath. They're going to be called Shatner Pants.
- Wife: Do these jeans make me look fat? Husband: Come on honey, let's not blame it on the *jeans*.
- "Doctor, I think I have genetic diarrhoea" "But diarrhoea isn't genetic"
"Well, it's in my jeans"
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Jeans One Liners
Which jeans one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jeans? I can suggest the ones about clothes and pajamas.
- What did they find under Michael Jackson's pillow? Billy's Jeans
- TIL that diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in the jeans.
- What do skinny jeans and cheap hotels have in common? No *ball*room
- Diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans
- Diarrhea is genetic It runs in your jeans
- Did you know that Diarrhea is genetic? It runs in the jeans
- How do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat? When she fits in your wife's jeans.
- Most of my family has diarrhea it runs in our jeans
- My dad suffers from bowel incontinence, and so do I ... It runs in my jeans.
- How do you greet a very clean woman? Hi Jean
- How are a pair of skinny jeans like a cheap motel? No ballroom
- Diarrhoea is heredetary.. ..it runs in your jeans.
- What do skinny jeans and modern houses have in common? No ballroom
- What's got 24 legs and flys? 12 pairs of jeans
- What do skinny jeans and motels have in common? No ballroom.
Skinny Jeans Jokes
Here is a list of funny skinny jeans jokes and even better skinny jeans puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My grandpa just walked into the room with a young man wearing skinny jeans and a beard. I said, Who is this, grandpa?
Grandpa: He's my hip replacement. - I know skinny jeans are fashionable... But as a slightly chubby man, I just can't seem to be able to pull them off
- As a fat guy, I tend to avoid wearing skinny jeans. I find it very difficult to pull it off.
- I like my women like i like my jeans... Skinny, tight, and ripped...
- How are skinny jeans like a small mansion? They have no ball room.
- These skinny jeans are like a cheap hotel No ballroom
- Why do gay people always wear skinny jeans? Because they can't stand straight cut.
- All jeans are skinny jeans... ...if you're fat enough.
- To the guy who stole my really tight skinny jeans... You won't be able to run, just hide.
- What do skinny jeans and a small house have in common? Neither have ball room.
Pair Jeans Jokes
Here is a list of funny pair jeans jokes and even better pair jeans puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was excited to find $20 in the back pocket of an old pair of jeans but the guy wearing them didn't seem as excited.
- What is the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethiopian? A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.
- I got this new pair of jeans and they're really stretchy so I call them my dancing pants... because of the ballroom.
- Vladimir Putin to begin marketing Kremlin brand jeans Each pair comes with a complimentary Donald Trump in the back pocket.
- I got a pair of jeans for a buck Idk what it wanted jeans for, but I'm a charitable friend to animals.
- Greek Tailor's Shop A Greek man walks into a Greek tailor shop holding a pair of jeans.
The blind old tailor squints at him. "Euripedes?"
The man nods and holds up the pants. "Eumenedes?" - How does a pair of jeans cool it's self off? It pants.
- The Problem With New Jeans I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight.
Was anything wrong with them? the clerk asked.
Yes, I said. They hurt my feelings. - I just came home with 25 pairs of carpenter jeans. . . My wife thinks I'm building a new wardrobe.
BTW original, thought I'd share. - Why does a golfer always bring an extra pair of jeans? Because he might get a hole in one.
Jeans And Genes Jokes
Here is a list of funny jeans and genes jokes and even better jeans and genes puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is DNA's favourite piece of clothing ? Jeans (genes)
- My mom said that my dad told too many puns and dad jokes. She said you have your fathers genes I said his jeans are too big for me
- What do DNA and Diarrhea have in common? They both run in your jeans (genes)
- Hey girl those are some nice boyfriend jeans I also have some good boyfriend genes
- I was watching the Cosmos, when Neil Degrasse Tyson related our genes are similar to ones in trees That means that all men have got wood in dem jeans.
- Jeans for genes today..... Next week I'm organising a haemophiliacs fundraiser :
Culottes for clots - Ladies, if you don't have skinny genes Don't wear skinny jeans.
- What do both teenyboppers and hereditary muscle-men have? Ripped genes. (jeans)
Ripped Jeans Jokes
Here is a list of funny ripped jeans jokes and even better ripped jeans puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I ripped a hole in my jeans. Now my pants are on their last leg.
- I couldn't quit ripping my jeans cold turkey... ...so I'm on the patch now.
- Does Abercrombie still sell ripped jeans for $80? Apparelly
- My girlfriend bought me some ripped jeans... She thought it looked cool I thought it was a ripoff.
Mom Jeans Jokes
Here is a list of funny mom jeans jokes and even better mom jeans puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Mom: Wear your jeans! There are too many mosquitoes outside. Feminist daughter: Don't teach me what not to wear. Teach the mosquitoes how not to bite.
- Jean's mom came home after visiting her hometown Maggie: Hey, where did your mom come from?
Jean: Alaska
Maggie: Don't bother, I'll ask her myself
Jeans Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about jeans you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jeep jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jeans pranks.
Researchers have discovered that diarrhea is influenced by genetics.
Their evidence: It runs in your jeans.
Why don't girls have beards?
It's in their "jeans" ;)
Support the war on crack.
Stop wearing low rise jeans.
Did you hear the one about the shark that liked to eat people wearing jeans?
It sounded something like
Den-im...
Den-im...
Den-im Den-im Den-im
denimdenimdenimdenim
(Read it out loud)
A cowboy takes a break from the range and heads out to LA for a cowboy convention . . .
When he gets to LA, he decides to stop at a local watering hole and grab a beer. He's sitting there in his hat, jeans, and boots, when a woman walks up and sits down beside him.
Woman: Are you a cowboy?
Cowboy: Well yes ma'am, I am.
Woman: Like a real deal cowboy?
Cowboy: I don't know any other kind.
Woman: I've never met a real cowboy before.
Cowboy: Well now you have.
Woman: Well?
Cowboy: Well what?
Woman: Aren't you going to ask what I am?
Cowboy: Well, uh, what are you?
Woman: I'm a lesbian.
Cowboy: A lesb- . . . I don't believe I know what that is.
Woman: It means that I like women. I like to kiss them and touch them and make love to them.
Cowboy: . . . .
The woman gets up and leaves and another woman comes into the bar. She spots the cowboy sitting there with his beer and takes a seat beside him.
Woman: Are you a cowboy?
Cowboy: Well ma'am, I thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.
harharhar.
Why was diarrhoea classified under hereditary diseases?
It runs in the Jeans.
Mario's Jeans
What kind of jeans does Mario wear?
*(in appropriate melody)* denim, denim, denim...
"Doctor, Doctor...
I've had diarrhea for 3 days, and I think it might be hereditary"
"Hereditary? What makes you think it's hereditary?"
"It's in my jeans"
Do these jeans make me look fat?
wife : Do these jeans make me look fat?
Me totally scared: Would you get mad if i tell you the truth?
Wife : No, i won't! Tell me.
Me : I slept with your sister
The Good Old Days!
Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular to his grandson.
"When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves o' bread, a magazine, and some new blue jeans... all for a dollar!!
"Grandson, "You can't DO that anymore..... they got those darn video cameras everywhere you look."
I told my dad I had diarrhea
He said don't worry son it runs in your jeans
Blonde and The Holy Man
Blonde: "I have heard that you can perform miracles. Can you demonstrate it to me?"
Holy Man: "Sure, why not. Remove your jeans, turn around and then bend down".
Blonde does as asked.
Holy Man: "Now can you feel my finger?"
Blonde: "Yes".
Holy Man: "But see, both my hands are up".
Blonde: "Wow. Superb".
So my genetics professor reported this morning that diarrhea has a genetic basis
According to her, it runs in our jeans.
they'll never listen to us
Wife: I lost my keys again
Me: Its in your jeans
Wife: Don't drag my family into this
Did ypu know p**... ejaculations are hereditary?
It comes in your jeans.
The difference between sexists and misogynists...
Sexist: I like my women like I like my jeans - loose in the c**...!
Mysogynist: I like my women like I like my jeans - acid washed!
A heavily pregnant woman goes into labor in a retail store.
A crowd gathers around her as people struggle to help, or at least make her comfortable.
Panicked a man looks around and asks "Is anyone here a doctor?!"
From the crowd steps a man wearing skinny jeans and a plaid shirt, with short, neat hair and a scruffy beard. "I'm a vegan!"
The farmer asked the scarecrow why he keeps his job in the field...
The farmer asked the scarecrow why he keeps his job in the field. The scarecrow turned to the farmer and said, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay... it's in my jeans."
Why do deaf women wear tight jeans?
So you can read their lips.
What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common?
They both have little boys' jeans half off.
Farming isn't for everyone..
But hay, it's in my jeans.
What's a depressed teenagers favorite activity?
Making their wrist look like their jeans.
(I'm sorry)
I decided to see what it was like to live as a woman.
So I sewed all the pockets of my jeans shut.
Diarrhea is actually genetic.
It's in your jeans.
Where is my wife
A young man and an old man bumped shopping carts at the grocery store.
Young man: I am sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. I was looking for my wife.
Old man : Sorry. I was also looking for my wife.
Young man: Well maybe we can look together. My wife is 24. She is 5'2". She has short black hair. She is wearing a pink tube top and blue Jeans. What does your wife look like?
Old man: It doesn't matter. Lets look for yours.
Being a scarecrow isn't easy...
but hay, it's in my jeans
Why are guys who wear skinny jeans bad at s**...?
They can't get them off
I accidentally left my wallet in my jeans when I put them in the washing machine.
A few days later I got arrested for money laundering.
As a scarecrow, people say I'm outstanding in my field.
But hay, it's in my jeans.
I wear dad jeans, have a dad bod, and tell dad jokes...
Funny, since I've never even had s**....
As a famous scarecrow once said...
"This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
Why modern man jeans feels like a cheaply made castle?
No ballroom.
My explosive diarrhea must be hereditary...
...because it runs in my jeans.
Did you hear scientists have proved that diarrhea is genetic?
Apparently it runs in your jeans.
Tomorrow is downs syndrome Awareness Day
You're supposed to wear crazy socks.
I'm just going to wear extra jeans.
Why shouldn't you buy cheap jeans from Northern Ukraine?
Chernobyl fallout.
What's the similarity between a p**... head and a Syrian girl wearing jeans?
They both get s**....
A girl who caught me looking at her very toned legs in jeans.
Her: "Whatcha looking at?"
Me: Sorry your legs look great in those
jeans.
Her: You should see me without them.
ME: Why would you t**... legs?
Why is denim better than leather?
It's has superior jeans
Did you know diarrhea is heridetary?
It runs in your jeans.
My Gf tried wearing tight jeans once.
She just couldn't pull it off
Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary
It runs in your jeans
We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea.
Runs in our jeans.
My four-year-old came up with this one:
What do you call a hobbit in blue pants? Lord of the jeans.
(This was after he heard the Alexa ask, what do you call a hobbit playing a fiddle? Lord of the Strings )
What do skinny jeans and a cheap hotel have in common?
There's no ballroom.
Friend told me this a couple years ago. I was reminded today, by wearing skinny jeans and tugging at my c**... the entire time.
Why is diarrhoea, an inherited disease?
Because it runs in your jeans!
The zipper on my jeans came off just before I was about to get on the plane to go on vacation and the airline wouldn't board me.
They said I was on the no fly list.
I asked a tailor to hem my jeans
He did a bad job of it so I ended having to go to the retailer
My dad handed down to me a hereditary disease that causes diarrhea all the time.
It runs in the jeans.
TIL: Diarrhoea is hereditary
It runs in yo' jeans.
