Jazz Jokes
117 jazz jokes and hilarious jazz puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jazz that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From puns related to hugh jazz and Utah Jazz to jokes about honda jazz, classical, pianists and edm, this article brings the best of all genres of jazz-inspired humor. Laugh away to these hilarious jokes about all things jazz!
Quick Jump To
- Short Jazz Jokes
- Jazz One Liners
- Jazz Musician Jokes
- Jazz Band Jokes
- Jazz Music Jokes
- Jazz Guitarist Jokes
- More Jazz Jokes
Funniest Jazz Short Jokes
Short jazz jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jazz humour may include short reggae jokes also.
- What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist? A rock guitarist plays 4 notes in front of 1000 people, while a jazz guitarist plays 1000 notes in front of 4 people.
- What's the difference between a rock musician and a jazz musician? A rock musician plays 3 chords for 20,000 people, and a jazz musician plays 20,000 chords for 3 people
- What's the difference between rock and jazz? Rock is playing three chords for a thousand people. Jazz is playing a thousand chords for three people.
- Guys I really want to break up with my Jazz musician girlfriend but I can't The Sax is too good
- The difference between a rock band and a jazz group The rock band will play 3 chords in front of 1000 people.
The jazz group will play 1000 chords in front of 3 people. - String Fight My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violin.
- My medication says to store it in a cool, dark place. So I keep it in a jazz club in Harlem.
- A Rock Band Plays 3 Chords for a 3000 Person Crowd Where as a jazz player will play 3000 chords for a 3 person crowd.
- What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist? The rock musician plays three chords for thousands of people, the jazz guitarist plays thousands of chords to three people.
- What's the difference between a Blues musician and a Jazz musician? A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands.
A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3
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Jazz One Liners
Which jazz one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jazz? I can suggest the ones about blues and ballet.
- Great wine is like great jazz... It confuses me and I'm pretty sure it's all the same.
- Why was the Jazz movie rated R Too much sax and violins
- Why do North Koreans hate jazz music? They don't have Seoul.
- What does a rock artist say to a jazz musician? To the airport please
- What do you call a German jazz player? Jazz Hans.
- Why don't film soundtracks use jazz and classical? Too much sax and violins.
- What ice cream can Ernie never refuse? Sherbet.
*jazz hands* - An unmarried couple start a jazz band. What would they call it? Premarital sax
- What happened to the jazz player whose wife left him? He had to toot his own horn.
- A ginger wanted to join the Jazz band... But he didn't have enough soul.
- Why don't North Koreans like jazz music? Because they don't have Seoul.
- That music store downtown called Hot Jazz in Your Face closed People just stopped coming
- What is large, grey and sings great jazz songs? Elephants Gerald
- Jazz is in my blood You could say I've got deep vein trombonses.
- Smooth jazz always puts me to sleep... ...must be the mellow tonin'.
Jazz Musician Jokes
Here is a list of funny jazz musician jokes and even better jazz musician puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Musicians! How do you make one million dollars playing jazz? You start with two mil. Ba-dum-tss!
- BREAKING: American Jazz musician sentenced to 12 months in prison, legally changes name Felonious Monk will be eligible for parole in 6 months
- Don't upset jazz musicians They might snap
- Why do jazz musicians love Korea? Because it's got Seoul.
- Why would Koreans make great jazz musicians? Because they have Seoul.
- My attempt to travel to North Korea to become a popular jazz musician failed. Turns out they've got no Seoul.
- What do you call a jazz musician who doesn't have a girlfriend? A homeless person.
- The jazz musician appreciated his wife allowing him to have extra practice time with his band... ...It was ragtime.
- What is a jazz musician that got kicked out of the catholic church? Sax-communicated.
- What did the DJ say to the jazz musician? Take me to the airport.
Jazz Band Jokes
Here is a list of funny jazz band jokes and even better jazz band puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A bus carrying a jazz band has broke down on the highway Witnesses are reporting a massive jam
- I've just joined a Jamaican jazz band as a triangle player. I just stand at the back and ting.
- Why aren't Gingers allowed in Jazz bands? Not enough soul.
- I don't like jazz bands much because at least one member in every band is a saxist.
- What do you call someone who rapes a member of a jazz band? A sax offender.
- Why was the ginger turned down by the jazz band? He doesn't have enough *soul*.
- What did the Sikhs name their jazz band? Singh, Singh, Singh
Jazz Music Jokes
Here is a list of funny jazz music jokes and even better jazz music puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Symphony of puns i never let my kids listen to jazz or classical music...
Too much sax or violins can only lead to treble! - What is Shia Labeouf's favourite genre of music? Jazz Duets.
- What kind of music does MacGyver play? Jazz. He's a great improviser.
- Why do blind musicians only play jazz? Because they can't read sheet music
- Bride throws flowers Me throws it back to her
*jazz music stops* - After Chuck Norris created Jazz he decided to do a bit of s**..., today we refer to his song as the alphabet.
Jazz Guitarist Jokes
Here is a list of funny jazz guitarist jokes and even better jazz guitarist puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between a jazz guitarist and a rock guitarist? A rock guitarist plays 10 chords for 50,000 people，and a jazz guitarist plays 50,000 chords for 10 people.
- A rock guitarist plays 3 chords in front of 1.5 million people but a jazz guitarist plays 1.5 million chords in front of 3 people
Share Hilarious Jazz Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about jazz you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean saxophone jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jazz pranks.
Dig it, Man
This cat had eyes to blow jazz, but his chops weren't happening. He climbed out on a ledge for the Big Coda, but just before he was going to step off he heard this other cat down on the street yelling,"Don't jump! There's still hope! Bird lives!" The cat on the ledge says,"Bird? Who's Bird?" The cat on the street said,"Oh, man...go ahead and jump."
Joke from my jazz history class: You are stuck on an island with h**..., Stalin, and Kenny G. You have a gun, but you only have two bullets. What do you do?
You shoot Kenny G. Twice.
Names that when read out loud sound dirty
Hue Janis
Hue Jazz
Dixie Normous
Jack Mehoff
Mike Hawk
Phil Mahooters
Philip Mabung
We all know that the n**... loved American jazz standards, but what was h**...'s favourite jazz song?
There will never be another Jew.
What do you call a man who assaults jazz instruments?
A saxoffonder
:)
How do you package a 21st century classical jazz singer?
Buble wrap
Sorry 😜
What do you call a criminal jazz player?
Felonius Monk!
I just moved into an apartment above a jazz club...
I was sick of paying for sax.
Which group of people are the best at jazz?
The Saxons!
Why does South Korea listen to a lot of Jazz?
Because they have Seoul.
Dr joke
...man walks into the doctor's:
* man: have you got anything for a "cricking hip joint" ?
* doc: here's two tickets to "Ronnie Scott's!" [old London jazz club] (#s)
Why do jazz musicians prefer to drive c**... old cars?
Because they're always making a new sound.
Why can't Gingers play jazz?
Because they have no soul.
Why do farmers play smooth jazz for their corn?
It's easy on the ears
What did the Asain gentleman say to the 7 ft Jazz player?
Utah
What type of apples do bassists eat?
Jazz apples
What do you get when you cross a fisherman with a jazz enthusiast?
An Anglo-Saxon ^^I'm ^^^So ^^^^Sorry
What do jazz musicians and sneakers have in common?
They put their soul on the track.
A jazz player was arrested for groping a lady
He was charged with saxual harrasment
If a jazz artist went to prison and found god...
Would that make him a felonious monk?
I used a N.W.A song for my jazz assessment
My teacher said it was a straight path to an eazy e
Why is jazz the most typical genre people use to "set the mood?"
It's so saxxy.
What do you call a sad jazz musician?
Elvis Depressley
Here's another godawful joke. Downvote away.
Why was the man banned from the jazz club?
Because he was a registered sax offender.
Jazz hands
Worker one: why does j**... the maintenance guy always do jazz hands after hes finished looking inside the copy machine?
Worker two: is part of his routine maintenance
(I wanted to do this joke as a picture but im lazy and bad at drawing, also sorry for the bad joke)
Hear about that Jazz Retreat?
You can get R&R at a B&B listening to R&B
A woman had s**... with a Jazz Artist...
A woman had s**... with a JAZZ Artist and she told her best friend about it. She was happy for her asked, "you just saw him yesterday though... you went in FAST."
She replied, " Hey, it's not my fault, he was too Sax-y"
What's the difference between 2 large pizzas and a jazz musician?
2 large pizzas can feed a whole family
Who is the jazziest zoo animal?
Ella Phantzgerald
I can't listen to brazilian jazz.
Maybe a hundred jazz, or a thousand, but brazilian jazz? That's just way too much jazz.
p**... was at the airport and was stopped by customs.
Customs: What have you got in those two sacks on your shoulders.?
p**...: Oh just a lot of mobile phones.
Customs: So why so many mobile phones.?
p**...: Well on my travels I had a call from my mate m**...,
He told me that he was starting up a Jazz Band, and could
I bring him back two Saxophones.
My 2 year old told his first joke.
We were walking down to the car and he put his hands in his pockets. He says oh mummy what's that in my pocket.
I dont know sweetheart let's see what it is
Pulls out his hands and shouts 'my hands' and does jazz hands and kills himself laughing.
He takes after his dad. His smile and laughter made my day.
Stevie Wonder was doing a concert, and towards the end decided to play some requests.
A man called out, "Play a jazz chord." So Stevie played a short riff, but the man insisted: "No, no, play a jazz chord."
So Stevie played a longer riff: "No, no," said the man, "play a jazz chord."
Stevie tried again and again, until he was playing chords he'd never played in his life, and still the man wasn't satisfied.
Finally Steve said: "Sing it for me." The man sang, "A jazz chord to say I love you."
My dad owns 4 tents which he uses for camping
He uses all 4 at different times of the year, and each one is based on 1 of 4 different musical genres.
In spring he uses the jazz tent, in summer he uses the pop tent, in autumn he uses the classical tent….
But now is the winter of our disco tent.
