The Best 23 Jaws Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Jaws jokes. There are some jaws shark jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jaws pliers puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Jaws Jokes and Puns

My friend asked me what the biggest fish I ever caught was. "Have you ever saw the movie jaws? I asked.

"Well it was about the same size as the box the dvd came in."

An atheist is walking along the bank of Loch Ness, suddenly, out of the depths appears Nessie.

She snatched the atheist up in her jaws and threw her head back, throwing thim up in the air. Just before the atheist fell into Nessie's jaws he cries out

"Oh god help me!"

Amazingly, time froze and God appeared next to the atheist. God asked:
"My son, all your life you have forsaken me, why now do you call upon me?"

The atheist responded with: "Give me a break, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster five minutes ago either!"

I started downloading Jaws the other day

But after one megabyte, my computer died.

Jaws joke, I started downloading Jaws the other day

Awwww

If you watch Jaws backwards it is a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms & legs to disabled people.

My dog came bounding into the house this morning with the neighbour's rabbit hanging lifeless from it's jaws.

Panic set in and so I scrubbed it clean and got all the blood marks off until it was pure white again. I then sneaked into their garden and popped it back in its hutch.

That evening my neighbour knocked at my door and said "I can't believe it, flopsy is lying dead in its hutch and the kids are hysterical."

"Sorry to hear that" I replied nervously.

"The strange thing is" he said "we buried it a couple of days ago."


The French remake of "Jaws" has a surprise ending...

"Fin".

Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.

These are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.

What every athlete says after winning: "First of all, I'd like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."

Chuck can eat Chinese food with one chopstick.

Chuck threw a few rocks into the Pacific Ocean. These are now known as Hawaii.

Chuck can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass..................at night.

When Chuck is in Rome, they do what HE does.

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one questions why.

Jaws joke, Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.

Jaws

Americans, do you remember in "jaws" when the Mayor was so concerned about the economy, he told everyone it was safe to get back in the water?

Did you hear about the supremely proper way the Englishman greeted the master fisherman from Jaws?

It was 'ello, Quint!

Mr. And Mrs. Jones were on a safari

in the darkest part of Africa. They were walking cautiously through the jungle when suddenly a huge lion sprang out in front of them, seized Mrs. Jones in its jaws and started to drag her off into the bush. "Shoot!" She screamed to her husband, "shoot!" "I can't!", he yelled back "My phone battery just died!"

Marine biologists were baffled by why Jaws would always swim away after chomping off swimmers' legs.

Turns out he's lack toes intolerant.

You can explore jaws teeth reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jaws expendables dad jokes. There are also jaws puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What did the millennial say when his friend played jaws on the piano?

That low key gave me chills

I keep getting fired...

...and every time it happens, I walk into the Human Resources manager's office to find an alien sitting there coring apples with its pharyngeal jaws. Starting to see a pattern, I've come up with a device that will let me know *before* I enter the office, so I can merely pack up my things and go. I call it the HR Giger Counter.

Who delivers presents to sharks on Christmas?

Santa Jaws

What does Bruce from Jaws put on his toast?

Buh-tah. Buh-tah. Buh-tah tah-tah

Jaws

How do you know the girl from Jaws had dandruff?

She left her Head & Shoulders on the beach

Jaws joke, Jaws

What do multiculturalism and the movie Jaws have in common?

They both made Americans despise great whites!

Floaters

What do you call that which barks during the day and floats during the night ?

- Your grandma's jaws

What did Jaws call his solo banking firm?

Loan shark.


What do you get if you watch Jaws backwards?

You get a movie about a shark that throws up so many people that they need to open a beach

Braces at 22 isn't so bad

When I talk to people and they notice my braces I just casually say "I'm researching and method acting a roll for Jaws from James Bond".

What do you get when you put Alan Alda in a Jaws film?

MASH

Why do Jaws target brown seals

They're great whites and want to make the seas great again

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the jaws lips jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working jaws horror piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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