Jaw Dropping Jokes
27 jaw dropping jokes and hilarious jaw dropping puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jaw dropping that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Jaw Dropping Short Jokes
Short jaw dropping jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jaw dropping humour may include short mind blowing jokes also.
- A man opens the bonnet of his VW Beetle. His jaw drops - "Oh my god, someone stole my engine!"
Then he goes round the back and opens the trunk. "Phew, thankfully I have a spare." - The dentist told me I'd have to get braces, or take the alternative route and have surgery. The price was jaw-dropping.
- My doctor told me he had some jaw-dropping news for me and I rushed excitedly to his office. Apparently I have leprosy.
- Prison joke Why do defendants drop their jaw when they hear that they're sentenced to life?
To get their mouths ready for prison - Robert Ebert was asked to reflect upon his career as a movie critic... He described it as a jaw-dropping experience...
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Jaw Dropping One Liners
Which jaw dropping one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jaw dropping? I can suggest the ones about dropping like and head shaking.
- My dentist appointment was so great... It was jaw-dropping
- My brother dropped my swear jaw on my head this morning. That was a rude awakening.
- Mia Khalifa's Instagram is Jaw Dropping
- How do you recognize a surprised l**... patient? Their jaw drops.
Jaw Dropping Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about jaw dropping you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean head banging jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jaw dropping pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A little girl and boy are in a doctor's waiting room. The little girl starts to cry so the little boy asks her "What's wrong?"
The little girl responds "I have to get a blood test so they're going to cut open my finger."
The little boy's jaw drops and he says "Oh no! I'm getting a u**... test."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A maid asks for a raise
A maid asks for a raise from the queen.
"Give me three good reasons to give you a raise." the queen demands.
"Well, I cook better than you." Astounded by the answer, the queen asks, "Who told you that?"
The maid replies with, "Your husband told me that.".
The queen is unhappy, but shrugs it off and asks for another reason.
"I'm a better cleaner than you are." The queen is unhappy again and asks who told the maid this. "Your husband told me that." The queen is now unhappy and asks for a final reason to give a raise.
The maid says, "I'm better in bed than you." The queen's jaw drops open and asks "DON'T TELL ME MY HUSBAND TOLD YOU THAT DID HE?".
The maid replies calmly with, "No, the driver did."
The queen curses quietly, "Shhh. Keep it down, its 25% okay?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young salesman walks up to a house and knocks on the door. The most beautiful woman he has ever seen answers, dressed in only a slinky negligee. She asks "Do you like what you see?" Slack jawed, the man finally manages to stutter "uh... yes, very much!"
She says "Quickly, step inside, I think I hear someone coming."
Once inside the beautiful woman drops her negligee and is completely n**.... With a smile she asks "What do you think is the most sensitive part of my body?"
The salesman says "I guess that would have to be your ears."
"My ears? On this luscious body, you think my ears are the most sensitive?"
"Well, yes. When you said you heard somebody coming, that was me!"
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of red wine. The bartender's therapy dog leaps to his feet, races across the room, runs down the stairs to the wine cellar and within moments returns with a lovely bottle of cabernet savignon in his jaws which he drops gently at the bartender's feet. "Wow, that dog is amazing," the guy says. "What kind is it?" "Oh, he's nothing special," the bartender replies. "Just a bordeaux collie."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend met an 2 girls, one was Asian.
What's your number? my friend asked the Asian girl
Free s**..., s**..., free s**... tonight, she responded
My friend's jaw dropped
The other girl responded, that's just her number, don't get too excited.
A biker pulls up outside a roadside bar in Louisiana after a long day in the saddle.
Stiffly he walks in, gets a beer and sits down.
By his third, he realises some of the locals are looking at him and whispering. The biker walks out and returns a few minutes later with an alligator. He drops it on the floor, drops his pants and flops his tackle in the alligator's mouth. Snap! The jaws shut on his tackle. Teeth gritted, the man counts out loud to ten, then pokes the alligator in the eyes and it lets go. "Right!" shouts the biker, "any of you man enough to do that?" After a moment of silence a voice from the back says: "I will if you promise not to poke me in the eyes."
An armed robber had just finished robbing a mansion.
As he got out, he noticed a random guy staring at him with his jaws dropped.
Robber: Did you see anything!?
Man: Y..yes..
The robber shot the man. Unfortunately, another person passing by at that exact moment witnessed this.
Robber: Did you see anything!?
Man: Yes! And I am calling the-
The robber shot him before he could say anything. Unfortunately a married couple walking by witnessed both of the murders.
Robber: Did you see-
Before he could finish asking his question, the man replied: No. Not at all. But my wife did! And she threatened to call the police!
A little girl is eating her vegetables
Suddenly one of the pea pods came to life and began pleading for its life, "No giant! Please spare me and I will take you to my kingdom where my queen will reward you with much more than my life!"
With nothing better to do, the girl accepts the offer and follows the talking pea to his kingdom. After a short 20 minute journey they arrive to their destination and the girl is left stunned. The size of the kingdom was humongous and complex, much more than she had previously thought it would be. The town was bulging with the life of the pea pod towns folk. The girl was left blown away with her jaw dropping, as she had finally seen her first pea nest.
A little girl was eating her veggies
Suddenly one of the pea pods came to life and began pleading for its life, "No giant! Please spare me and I will take you to my kingdom where my queen(mother) will reward you with much more than my life!"
With nothing better to do, the girl accepts the offer and follows the talking pea to his kingdom. After a short 20 minute journey they arrive to their destination and the girl is left stunned. The size of the kingdom was humongous and complex, much more than she had previously thought it would be. The town was bulging with the life of the pea pod towns folk. The girl was left blown away with her jaw dropping, as she had finally seen her first pea nest.
A man is at the hospital..
....waiting for his son to be born. The doctor calls the man in. He enters the room and the doctor is holding the baby, doctor says "Sir, this is gonna seem odd but your baby can fly."
Before the man can say anything the Doctor drops the baby, and hits the floor, the mans jaw drops.
Doctor says "he was doing it a minute ago, let's try again" and throws the baby at the wall, again hitting it.
Man now in tears begs him to stop, doc says "one more try" and throws the baby out the window.
The man is now crying hysterically and yelling, doctor laughs and says "Relax, kid was dead when you walked in".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A n**... woman walks into a bar...
... and asks for a shot of whiskey. Everybody looks perplexed at her, jaws being dropped and all that. The bartender gives her the shot, and looks at her as if he was inspecting. The woman asks for another shot, so the bartender gives her another one, but keeps looking at her. After a while, the woman gets annoyed and asks him:
"Excuse me, but what's your problem? Haven't you ever seen a n**... woman in your life?"
"I have"- says the bartender -"I'm just trying to figure out how you're gonna pay for those shots."
Man gets asked how he got his offset eye
The newcomer asks the man, "Though this may be inappropriate to ask, what happened to your eye?"
The man smiles and responds, "Truth is, I was born without an eyelid."
The newcomer's eyes open wide.
"Yeah, strangest thing. No eyelid on one eye. Doc said he'd never seen anything like it. He told my parents it was a long shot, but there was one thing he could try."
The newcomer leans in to hear this.
"What they did is, when they circumcised me, they took the extra skin and made an eyelid out of it."
The newcomer's jaw drops.
"Yeah, I've been cockeyed ever since!"
It keeps the hot things hot, and the cold things cold
One morning, Boudreaux pulled up to Thibodeaux's house to give him a ride to work. As Thibodeaux got in the rusted, beat up truck he noticed Boudreaux's Thermos on the seat between them.
*"What's dat?"*, he asked, pointing at the Thermos.
*"Oh, dat der's a 'termos I gots at da Walmarts last night."* said Boudreaux, *"It keeps da hot things hot, and da cold things cold."*
Come lunchtime, Thibodeaux's jaw dropped as Boudreaux poured out steaming hot gumbo from his Thermos.
The next morning, Thibodeaux was beaming with pride when climbed into Boudreaux's truck and placed his own Thermos next to Thibodeaux's.
*"I see you gots a 'termos for ya'self"*
*"Yep, I sent Marie ova to da Walmarts to get mes one,"* Thibodeaux replied, *"but I smarter than you."*
*"How ya figure dat?"*
*"You know how ya said it keeps da hot things hot, and da cold things cold? Well, mines got gumbo … and a popsicle!"*
Pet-store parrots.
A man walks into a pet store looking to buy a parrot, he sees 3 next to each other. He goes to the cashier and says, "How much for the first parrot on the left?" the cashier replies "2000$" " 2000$! What can it do for that price?" "It can write and take notes" the owner says. The man nods and asks the price of the second parrot, "5000$" What can that one do? The man asks again. "Oh that one can use the computer and send emails." The man nods again, "Ok how about the last one?" "The last one? 10,000$." The mans jaw drops. "What can that one do?" The pet store owner shrugs and says "I don't have a clue but the other two call him boss."