The Best 44 Java Jokes

This is a collection of the best Java jokes. If you are a fan of clean jokes, then you are sure to enjoy these.

Top 10 Funniest Java Jokes and Puns

Why do java developers always wear eyeglasses?

Because they dont C#

Why do java coders wear glasses?

Because they don't C#

To follow up on the Java/C# joke...

Q: Why did the Java Developer quit his job?

A: Because he didn't get arrays.

The IT department hates me

I finish my delicious cup of morning coffee and kindly let them know "I successfully downloaded java again!"

jokes about java

I felt so good when I woke up today

that I even let Java install its update.

Coffee maker in the IT department doesn't work

Try reinstalling Java.

Why do Java developers have bad eyesight?

Because they can't C#

Java joke, Why do Java developers have bad eyesight?

Air Asia Accident - java reference

So some remains of the Air Asia Airline were found in the Java sea.
Guess the pilot didnt C#.

Opera Mini 8 for Java and BlackBerry phones

After I drink coffee I show my empty mug

to the IT guy and tell him I've successfully installed Java.

He hates me.

Why can't Java programmers see well?

Because of the eclipse

You can explore java java development reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean java java applet dad jokes. There are also java puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

After I drink coffee I like to show the empty mug to my friends...

We work in IT and I tell them that I have successfully installed JAVA. They kind-of hate me.

I'm trying to teach my cat Java programming...

But he keeps complaining about a NullLaserPointerException.

Why are Communists bad Java programmers?

They don't like classes.

What's the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.

Why do Java programmers need glasses?

Because they can't C#.

Java joke, Why do Java programmers need glasses?

What does it sound like when Java laughs?

Java -jar jar.jar

My university just announced a Computer Science exchange program with an Indonesian university

I'm really excited for the courses in Java

A computer programmer was asked if he used Java or something else.

After a short pause, he replied "Yes."

I'm old fashioned when it comes to coffee. If someone offers me a hot cup of java, I say no thanks.

I'd much prefer a cup of C++.

I made a java program to tell me my purpose.

It keeps saying "Null point exception", so it works great.

How do you describe a thick girl who codes Java and Ruby?

"baby got back-end"

Why is my computer so slow in the morning?

It hasn't had its cup of Java yet.

What's the difference between a normal intern and a tech intern?

One gets people coffee, and the other sends Java programs

Why do blind programmers use Java?

Because they can't C.

(I'm so sorry.)

What does C++ say to the Java?

You had me at "Hello World"

Java joke, What does C++ say to the Java?

A zombie walks into a brain store

On the shelves, a pound of C++ programmers' brain sells for $500, of Java programmers, $1000, and of PHP programmers, $1,000,000. The zombie gets confused and asks the store owner why PHP programmers' brain is so much more expensive. The owner says "do you know how many PHP programmers I kill to get one pound of brain?"

Why do JavaScripters wear glasses?

Because they don't C#

Why did the javascript programmer need glasses?

Because he couldn't C#

What do programmers say when surprised?

By Java!


I thought it was coffee break...

... when I saw "Java Script" on schedule.

Then I realize it was Speech n Drama.

There was this guy who asked me, "how do I open this jar?!"

"Install the latest version of the Java Runtime Environment", I said. Silly guy, now he's all confused. People these days... SMH.

Why does 2 ^ 3 = 1?

Because JavaScript was designed by heretics.

Why do programmers make terrible dates?

They take you out for Java and try to get you to bed.
To make matters worse, their skills in the bedroom is pretty BASIC so they only ever get a C++ rating.

My son finally landed a position as a software engineer. He proudly told me that his new job title will be Java Developer.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that means he'll be making the coffee.

JavaScript is a lot like English;

No one knows how to use semicolons properly.

I heard wired connections are faster...

So I poured some coffee on my router and now it's even slower...Do I need a another java update?

If i create a Java class public Class Woman{}

Am I objectifying women?

Why does Java programmers always wear glasses?

Because they don't C#

Hey girl, are you a Java compiler?

Because when I proposed a Date, you said I wasn't your type.

Java is the most misogynistic programming language in existence

It thinks women are objects

What do you drink when you program?

A cup of java.

Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses?

Because they don't C#

i was in Jerusalem for a holiday

Needing my cuppa of java i wandered into a cafe and was served by a male barista. I found it odd that there were no female Baristas so i made it a point to keep a lookout for them across the holy land.

From Starbucks to coffee club, from hipster cafes to neighborhood coffeehouses, not a female barista could be found.

Perplexed by this, i finally asked the Jewish barista at the starbucks at the airport when i was about to leave. He thought about it for a moment, shrugged his shoulders and said simply:


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the java java web services puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working java java development kit piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes