Java Jokes
60 java jokes and hilarious java puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about java that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This is a collection of the best Java jokes. If you are a fan of clean jokes, then you are sure to enjoy these.
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Funniest Java Short Jokes
Short java jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The java humour may include short developer jokes also.
- After I drink coffee I show my empty mug to the IT guy and tell him I've successfully installed Java.
He hates me. - I made a java program to tell me my purpose. It keeps saying "Null point exception", so it works great.
- I recently rejected a junior software dev job at IKEA. I kinda know java, kotlin and some php but unfortunately Assembly was required.
- My son finally landed a position as a software engineer. He proudly told me that his new job title will be Java Developer. I didn't have the heart to tell him that means he'll be making the coffee.
- Hey girl, are you a Java compiler? Because when I proposed a Date, you said I wasn't your type.
- To follow up on the Java/C# joke... Q: Why did the Java Developer quit his job?
A: Because he didn't get arrays. - What's the difference between Java and JavaScript? Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.
- I'm old fashioned when it comes to coffee. If someone offers me a hot cup of java, I say no thanks. I'd much prefer a cup of C++.
- I'm trying to teach my cat Java programming... But he keeps complaining about a NullLaserPointerException.
- I heard wired connections are faster... So I poured some coffee on my router and now it's even slower...Do I need a another java update?
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Java One Liners
Which java one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with java? I can suggest the ones about android and script.
- Why do blind programmers use Java? Because they can't C.
(I'm so sorry.) - Why do java coders wear glasses? Because they don't C#
- Why are Communists bad Java programmers? They don't like classes.
- Coffee maker in the IT department doesn't work Try reinstalling Java.
- Why can't Java programmers see well? Because of the eclipse
- Why does Java programmers always wear glasses? Because they don't C#
- If i create a Java class public Class Woman{} Am I objectifying women?
- What do you drink when you program? A cup of java.
- I felt so good when I woke up today that I even let Java install its update.
- What do programmers say when surprised? By Java!
Sorry. - What does C++ say to the Java? You had me at "Hello World"
- Why is my computer so slow in the morning? It hasn't had its cup of Java yet.
- "Knock, knock.Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java." - What does it sound like when Java laughs? Java -jar jar.jar
- How do you describe a thick girl who codes Java and Ruby? "baby got back-end"
Java Coffee Jokes
Here is a list of funny java coffee jokes and even better java coffee puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The IT department hates me I finish my delicious cup of morning coffee and kindly let them know "I successfully downloaded java again!"
- I thought it was coffee break... ... when I saw "Java Script" on schedule.
Then I realize it was Speech n Drama. - What's the difference between a normal intern and a tech intern? One gets people coffee, and the other sends Java programs

Quirky and Hilarious Java Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about java you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean python jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make java pranks.
The Programming Language Competition
The programming languages are in a competition to see who's the best.
Java makes the brackets. In the major bracket, C++ is against C#. Binary is against assembly. C is against Java. Visual Basic is against PHP. Perl is against JavaScript.
And Python is in the lowest bracket, with all the esoteric programming languages like LOLCODE and Brainfuck. Normally a programming language as big as Python would be angry at this placement, but instead Python politely asks Java,
"Excuse me. What's a bracket?"
Air Asia Accident - java reference
So some remains of the Air Asia Airline were found in the Java sea.
Guess the pilot didnt C#.
Opera Mini 8 for Java and BlackBerry phones
What is a java programmers favorite bird?
A BlueJ
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an overweight star wars fanatic who drinks too much coffee?
Java the Hutt
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Java programmers need glasses?
Because they can't C#.
My university just announced a Computer Science exchange program with an Indonesian university
I'm really excited for the courses in Java
Help me. I hate pointers so i decided to learn Java instead of C.
Any pointers?
A computer programmer was asked if he used Java or something else.
After a short pause, he replied "Yes."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A zombie walks into a brain store
On the shelves, a pound of C++ programmers' brain sells for $500, of Java programmers, $1000, and of PHP programmers, $1,000,000. The zombie gets confused and asks the store owner why PHP programmers' brain is so much more expensive. The owner says "do you know how many PHP programmers I kill to get one pound of brain?"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do JavaScripters wear glasses?
Because they don't C#
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was this guy who asked me, "how do I open this jar?!"
"Install the latest version of the Java Runtime Environment", I said. Silly guy, now he's all confused. People these days... SMH.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do programmers make terrible dates?
They take you out for Java and try to get you to bed.
To make matters worse, their skills in the bedroom is pretty BASIC so they only ever get a C++ rating.
JavaScript is a lot like English;
No one knows how to use semicolons properly.
i was in Jerusalem for a holiday
Needing my cuppa of java i wandered into a cafe and was served by a male barista. I found it odd that there were no female Baristas so i made it a point to keep a lookout for them across the holy land.
From Starbucks to coffee club, from hipster cafes to neighborhood coffeehouses, not a female barista could be found.
Perplexed by this, i finally asked the Jewish barista at the starbucks at the airport when i was about to leave. He thought about it for a moment, shrugged his shoulders and said simply:
Hebrews.

