Jason Jokes
60 jason jokes and hilarious jason puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jason that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Big laughs with these funny Jason jokes featuring puns and references to the iconic character from classic horror movies, Jason Bourne, Jason Todd, and the Collins family. From his trusty crowbar to the classic "hoop" line, there's something for everyone! Enjoy these funny jokes with your friends - Eric Byrnes included!
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Funniest Jason Short Jokes
Short jason jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jason humour may include short jason bourne jokes also.
- I had a dream that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting and Tom Ripley Thanks to months of therapy, I'm finally battling my Damons.
- My friend glued a fake beard on to look like Jason Momoa I don't think he could pull it off very well
- What's the difference between Donald Trump and Jason Voorhees? Both are scary people but Jason knows how to wear a mask!
- I had a dream where I was in a fight with Jason Bourne, Will Hunting, and Private Ryan. I'm finally battling my Damons.
- A group of students are learning about databases in their IT class... Their teacher asks them "How do you raise a query?"
From the back of a class a boy shouts out "Ask Jason's mom!". - Some diseases are airborne, some are waterborne... But the Matt Damon disease is Jason Bourne
- Can't wait for the next Jason Bourne movie. I heard he becomes a Christian and starts a church for ex-treadstone agents... It's called Bourne Again
- My wife wanted one of those "unique" names for our son. So we named him Jason The 'J' sounds like 'Th'. The "ason" is silent. You add "omas" on the end.
- Why didn't Jason wear his hockey mask for Halloween? Because you don't wear white after Labor Day.
- Why doesn't Batman let Jason Todd into the Batcave anymore? Because he keeps Robin things.
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Jason One Liners
Which jason one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jason? I can suggest the ones about josh and kylie.
- What's Princess Leia's favourite song? Riding solo - Jason Derulo
- Woah, is Aquaman running after your gardener? No, he's Jason Mamoa
- Jason Momoa ran down my lawnmower. He was chasin' ma mowa
- What do you call a Swedish assassin? Jason Bjorn
- What is Jason Voorhees's favorite country? Chi-chi-chi Na-na-na.
- What's Aquaman's favorite Girl Scout cookie? Jason samoas
- what do you call Jason Bourne's Australian wife? mel bourne
- If Jason Bateman had a servant... Would his servant call him Master Bateman?
- Who is Jason Waterfalls? And why don't they want him to go?
- Why did Jason Pierre-Paul change his jersey number from 90 to 9? Because he lost a digit!
- Why is Jason Derulo not allowed to play golf anymore? Everything Is Fore
- If Michael Jackson were a slasher in a horror film who would he be? Jason VorHEE-HEEs.
- What is a Pirate's Favorite Greek Myth? Jason and the Arrrghonauts
- Hey, I heard you call yourself Jay-san, what a weeb "My name is Jason"
- Where does Kylie Minogue get her kebabs? Jason's Doner-Van
Jason Bourne Jokes
Here is a list of funny jason bourne jokes and even better jason bourne puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about Jason Bourne's australian counterpart Mel Bourne
- The next Bourne movie is a prequel about a baby Jason Bourne. They're calling it New Bourne.
- What if Jason got birthed? Well,I called him Jason Bourne.
- What did Jason Bourne say after being given his code name? I wasn't Bourne yesterday.
- Did you hear about the new Jason Bourne movie, still Bourne? It was set to come out next year but the plan was aborted
- Jason Bourne fought Chuck Norris but he can't remember because now he has amnesia.
- Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
Jason Derulo Jokes
Here is a list of funny jason derulo jokes and even better jason derulo puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Song "Trumpets" from Jason derulo should be renamed To "Diary of a stalker "
Cheeky Jason Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about jason you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jar jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jason pranks.
Jason Todd walks into a bar, where the Joker is behind the counter. He says "Jason, you know I can't serve Robins here"
Jason asks "Why?" and Joker replies "this is a CROW bar!"
Then he beats him to death.
So, the 7 year-old daughter is talking with her mom...
"Mom, today at school during break, Jason and I played doctor!" she says excitedly.
"Oh dear" the mother answers, fearing the worst "what did you two do?"
"Oh, not much, he made me wait forty-five minutes and then double billed the insurance company."
What is born but will never die?
Jason.
How can you tell if it will be a good Jason Statham movie?
He isn't in it.
One foggy winter night Jason walks into a bar
Then a tree, and then into a manhole
I hear that if you draw a really good portrait of Jason Segel you will instantly be proficient in Karate, Taekwondo, and Jiu Jitsu
I think it has something to do with becoming a master Marshall artist
What do you call a secret agent that owns livestock?
Jason Barn
How did Jason Orange get into Take That?
Because Gary set the Barlow
A woman awakens from a coma, no longer pregnant.
"Congratulations! You delivered a boy and a girl!" The nurse said.
"That's great! Who named them?" She asked.
"Your husband did. He named the boy Jason."
"I like that. What about the girl?"
"Jadaughter."
Miss Joan asks her 3rd grade students what their parents do for a living
Emily happily raises her hand and say : "Daddy's a mechanic and Mommy is a teacher like you !"
Jason then replies : "Well, my dad is a chef and my mom is her accountant"
And so on, every child answers to their best until it is little Billy's turn, who suddenly bursts into tears.
Miss Joan asks him why he's crying so much and Billy wails : "my papa is dead !"
"Oh, Billy, I'm so sorry... But what did he do before dying ?"
"Well, he was like *arglhblargahrgablar*"
My friend Jason invited me to spend a week with him and his family at their ski lodge.
I wanted to bring gifts. For him, a felt hat. For her felt mittens. For the kids, felt-tipped markers.
I like to make my presents felt.
