The Best 62 Jared Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Jared jokes. There are some jared kiddy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jared nathan puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Jared Jokes and Puns

Jared from Subway ended his career the same way he began it

Trying to get into smaller pants

Do you know what comes in a Subway kids' meal?


Jared Fogel's weight loss secret finally revealed!

He's been eating the kids meal all this time

Jared Fogle Of Subway Started and Ended His Career The Same Way.

Trying to get into smaller pants.

jokes about jared

Why are Subway and Jared no longer together?

Because Subway has been around longer than 17 years and Jared lost interest.

Jared Fogle is going to prison.

It looks as if his steady diet of footlongs will continue

I guess this is why they don't let kids be lawyers

You just know one would've gotten Jared off.

Jared joke, I guess this is why they don't let kids be lawyers

Looks like Subway finally has a good excuse for their footlongs being less than 12 inches

Anything under 12 is better for Jared.

Why was the little boy crying at the diamond store?

He went to Jared

Jared Fogle of Subway told his wife she didn't have to worry about the Ashley Madison leaks...

...he was on Club Penguin.

Is Jared Fogle going to jail??

Because I heard he's looking at 8-12 years...

You can explore jared ivanka reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jared danny dad jokes. There are also jared puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

How does Jared like to play his flute?

In A minor.

What does Jared and a piece of jewelery have in common?

They both come in small packages

Losing weight is so easy now. I'm just chasing the kids around all day

- Jared Fogle

Jared may not get free subway for life anymore...

But he will have no shortage of 6 inch or foot longs.

Fun Fact: Jared Fogle was a Mormon

I heard he graduated top of his class at Bring Em Young University

Jared joke, Fun Fact: Jared Fogle was a Mormon

How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

What did Jared Fogle say when his wife told him she wanted kids?

*Me too*

Why did they arrest Jared Fogle at 3:15?

That's when the big hand touches the little hand.

Why did Jared Fogle go to Walmart?

He heard children's pants were half off.


I saw a movie trailer about 30 trapped chillean miners...

Apparently Jared from subway had a stash...

(I'm so sorry about this, I just thought of it and needed to get it out)

What's Jared Fogle's favorite weather?

El nino.

What does Santa Claus and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kid's homes with empty sacks.

Jared Fogle is pleased sentence is under 18 years.

how big is Jared fogel's sex drive?

bout 5.6TB

Did you hear that Jared Fogle got sentenced to 15 and a half years?

But he was happy with it cause it was under 18.

Jared joke, Did you hear that Jared Fogle got sentenced to 15 and a half years?

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

New Subway slogan idea from Jared

12 is the new 18

Jared Fogle likes his subs the way he likes his women...

6 to 12

What do you call a fight between a Mexican and Jared Fogle?

Alien vs Predator.

How did Jared Fogle lose so much weight?

because he chose from the kids menu

It appears that Jared Fogle has gain 30lbs since going to jail

I guess that's what happens when you stop the child portions

Why did Jared from Subway call Boyz2Men?

He thought they had delivery service.

I saw a Mexican fighting Jared Fogel

I finally saw Alien vs Predator

Jared Fogel is teaching a music class in prison

Today's lesson is fingering A minor

How did Jared lose 40lbs?

He dumped his girlfriend.

On second thoughts, Jared Fogle and Subway are pretty similar.

I mean, both stick 38 year old meat into 10 year old buns.

I had a sudden, albeit extremely belated, realization about Jared from Subway

His career ended the way it began: trying to get into smaller pants.

Subway is really upset about allegations concerning the meat in their subs...

They haven't been this worried about meat between buns since Jared was sentenced.

What was Jared from Subway's fitness goal?

Getting in to smaller pants

How did Jared from Subway lose weight?

He was ordering off the kids menu.

From the mouth of my 12 year old son...

Did you know Jared is in prison for trying to get into smaller pants?

What did Jared from Subway get in his court sentence?

Free foot-longs for life.

It looks like Jared and Ivanka's Judaism is really rubbing off on Trump.

He's even cleaning out his Cabinet for Passover.

Jared Fogle was sentenced to 16 years in prison

He told the jury that he was happy with anything under 18

Jared Fogle went from having a mild cholestrol problem

To a child molestrol problem

How did Jared the subway guy begin and end his career?

By trying to get into smaller pants.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Jared Fogel?

One like little kids on his ranch,

The other likes ranch on his little kids! πŸ™ƒ

What's the difference between Elon Musk and Jared the Subway guy?

Elon wanted to put Thai boys into small objects, Jared wanted to put small objects into Thai boys.

Jared picked the wrong Subway to be a spokesman for...

If he had just done voiceover for the NYC Subway, hey kids come inside me would've been perfectly acceptable

What's in common between tuna and Jared from Subway?

They both come in little cans.

Jared Fogle's career was truly full circle

It began and ended with him trying to get into smaller pants

Why can't Jared Goff use the phone anymore?

Because he can't find the receiver.

Why does Jared Fogle like all the jokes about him?

Because they are about five years old at this point.

It makes no difference to Jared Kushner if he gets banished from the bedroom to the kitchen some night.

They both have Frigid-heirs in them.

Jared Fogle came in and came out relevance the same way

Trying to get into a smaller pair of pants

Jared from Subway was hired and fired for the exact same reason.

He loved to eat fresh

Jared from Subway's career ended the same way it started.

Trying to get into smaller pants

If Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, Bill Barr, Stephen Miller, and Jared Kushner we're on Air Force One together and the plane were to suddenly crash, who would survive?

The United States of America.

A burglar breaks into a joint

While going through the owner's belongings a shrill voices goes:
"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly Father is watching you!"

Slightly irritated, the burglar switches on the light and sees a parrot in the corner, repeating its line:

"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly Father is watching you!"

Burglar: "Hahaha! Look at you, what's your name?"

Parrot: "Jared Leto"

Burglar: "That's an odd name for a parrot. Who would name their parrot 'Jared-Leto'?

Parrot: "The same person who would name his rottweiler 'Heavenly Father'!

*First Cake day joke!

After failing maths, Jared's parents decide to move him from the local public school to a nearby Catholic school

Within a few months, he is passing with flying colours. His parents ask him the reason behind his sudden improvement. "Was it the strict nuns, the rigour of class, the example of other students? Jared shook his head. "Well what was it then"? Jared replied "Truth is, when I first arrived and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they meant business".

What does Jared Leto say when he is on drugs?

It's Morphine time!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the jared footlong puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working jared jed piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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