Japanese Jokes

147 japanese jokes and hilarious japanese puns to laugh out loud. Read ethnic jokes about japanese that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of Japanese jokes! From funny stories about Samurai to jokes about sushi, these jokes are sure to get you laughing.

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jokes about japanese

Best Short Japanese Jokes

Short japanese puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The japanese humour may include short sushi jokes also.

  1. Up the mountain, a japanese asked the wise man: "Master Akira, why every western man thinks that we, japanese, all look alike?" "I am not Master Akira."
  2. I held a door for an elderly Japanese man. He said "Sank you."
    Why did he have to bring up Pearl Harbor like that?
  3. What's the hardest part breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.
  4. According to ancient Japanese lore, a person's aura takes a particular colour right before they die. Cyan Aura.
  5. Whats the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl You have to drop the bomb twice before she finally gets it
  6. How does a Japanese person distinguish between a German and an extraterrestrial? He doesn't, they are both Aryans.
  7. What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese chick? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
  8. I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend but she keeps calling me Seems like I have to drop the bomb twice.
  9. I wanted to join the Yakuza, but I got it mixed it up with Jacuzzi . Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
  10. I don't get why Japanese people and South Korean people just can't get along. I mean, they're all Chinese.
Japanese joke, I don't get why Japanese people and <a href="/korean-jokes.html" title="Korean jokes">South Korean</

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about japanese can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of japanese puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Japanese One Liners

Which japanese one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with japanese? I can suggest the ones about rice and noodles.

  1. Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
  2. A Japanese man once tried to fake his own death. His family didn't bereave him.
  3. I once thought I had a Japanese friend. But it was just my imagine Asian.
  4. How do you say " 'sup dawg" in Japanese? Konichihuahua
  5. How do you say goodbye to 20,000 Japanese? With a big wave.
  6. What do you get if you take off the red dot on the Japanese flag? The French flag!
  7. How do you say goodbye to a thousand Japanese people? A big wave
  8. How do you say "no" in Japanese? EA.
  9. How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello? Konnichihuahua
  10. What was Hannibal Lecter's favorite Japanese food? Rawmen
  11. What do Japanese men do when they have erections? They vote.
  12. What do you call a fantastic Japanese teacher? Sensei-tional
  13. How many tickles does it take to make a Japanese girl cry? 10 tickle
  14. What does a Japanese guy name his pet lion? Ryan
  15. Maybe every nation has ninjas And the Japanese ninjas are just the worst

Japanese Car Jokes

Here is a list of funny japanese car jokes and even better japanese car puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A plane full of Japanese car parts just exploded in mid-air Apparently it's raining Datsun cogs
  • What's the difference between a Japanese Restaurant and a Japanese car accident? One has lots of crustaceans, the other has lots of crushed Asians.
  • What do you get when you mix Nintendo and Japanese cars? Super Honda Odyssey
    I'm sorry
  • There are japanese car parts falling from the sky here It's raining datsun cogs
  • I'm dating a half asian girl Her mom is Japanese.
    Her father is Japanese.
    Her legs were ripped off in a car accident
  • What kind of car does a Japanese horse drive? A neigh-san
  • What does a Japanese person say when their older brother crashes their car? Oh, Nissan!
  • What do you call a green-skinned, pointy-eared Star Wars action figure driving a Japanese car? A toy Yoda driving a Toyota.
  • What car does a japanese girl love to ride Nee-san
  • Q: What do Japanese kids say when they want to ride in the front seat of the car? Shogun!

Japanese Food Jokes

Here is a list of funny japanese food jokes and even better japanese food puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My girlfriend hated my obsession with Japanese food Sushi left me.
  • Why don't Japanese cannibals cook their food? Because they prefer ramen.
  • What's a Japanese cannibals favourite food? Rawmen
  • I asked my girlfriend to buy me some Japanese food. ... sushi did.
  • I just couldn't decide which asian takeout food I like the best, Japanese or Chinese. I ended up calling it a Thai.
  • How do you know Jesus loves Japanese food? Because he said he loves miso.
  • What did the Japanese guy say when he tried Mexican food? Takoyaki!
  • Why does Jesus like Japanese food? Because he loves miso
  • What is a Japanese person's favorite Korean food? kimchi, because it makes them feel good. (I woke up at 4am for this.)
  • What's the difference between Japanese people and their food? Americans eat the food after they nuke it.

Japanese Name Jokes

Here is a list of funny japanese name jokes and even better japanese name puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My Japanese friend bought a new Sentra and named it 123 When I asked why 123, he replied with
    "Ichi Ni san"
  • A Mario joke I heard for the first time today: Mario is a Japanese character, so his family name could be Itsumi, or in Japanese name order…
    Itsumi Mario
  • What did the thankful Japanese man name his half-Jewish half-Mexican cat? Arigato
    (Credit to my brother who just made it up)
  • A Japanese child was born before the due date. So they named him Sudden Lee.
  • What did Japanese-mexican name his cat? Ari-gato
  • What is another name for a Japanese hot tub? A Yakuzzi
  • I'm a Hispanic man and started a family with my Japanese wife. The kids names are Mikasa and Tsukasa, we're gonna stop visiting my folks for a while because they always laugh at them.
  • What should we name this ancient Japanese throwing knife? A: Let's just name it the first thing that comes to mind, think you can handle that?
    B: Sure I can.
  • A Japanese lady chopped her toe in an accident Her name was Ms.Shinomoto
  • I have a Japanese friend named Kaku... ...last name Saka

Japanese Sake Jokes

Here is a list of funny japanese sake jokes and even better japanese sake puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A Japanese man walks into a bar.. Just for the sake of it.
  • Last night I was bored so I entered a drinking competition in a japanese restaurant It was only for the sake of it
  • I stole a Japanese alcoholic beverage from Pennywise. When police asked me why I did it I couldn't give them a reason - I just did it for the sake of it.
  • What do you call a barefooted Japanese man? No sake
  • Did you hear about the Japanese man who suffered burns trying to save a bar? He did it for his own Sake
  • What's the difference between Japanese sake bars and doctors in Oregon? One of them serves adults in Asia...
  • A Japanese commander invites Darth Vader to dinner He asks him " Will you be there tonight at 8 PM Lord Vader?"

    Vader says " I hope so commander, for your sake ".
  • Why do Japanese people go to an alcohol shop? Just for the Sake of it.
  • I asked my Japanese father why he drinks before church. "For Christ's sake, don't ask!"
  • Why did the japanese man buy a bottle? Just for the sake of it.
Japanese joke, Why did the japanese man buy a bottle?

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Japanese Jokes

What funny jokes about japanese you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean soy sauce jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make japanese prank.

I held the door open for an old Japanese man, and he said "Sank you!"

Being able to understand his heavy accent, I replied "You're welcome."
He laughs and says "No, you misunderstand, I am taunting you about Pearl Harbor."

An average Englishman has s**... 2 or 3 times a week. A Japanese man has s**... once or twice a year.

This is very upsetting as i had no idea i was Japanese.

A jew and a Chinese man are in an argument...

The jew says, "I hate your people for what you did at pearl harbour". The Chinese man says, what do you mean? That was the Japanese!". The jew replies, "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same. So the Chinese man says, "Well I hate your people for sinking the titanic". The jew says, "That's ridiculous; an iceberg sunk the titanic!". The Chinese man responds, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Silverberg, you're all the same".

A Jewish man and a Chinese man are in a bar. Suddenly, the Jewish man punches the Chinese man in the face.

"Ow! Why did you do that?" asks he Chinese man.
"That's for Pearl Harbor," says the Jewish man.
"But the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. I'm Chinese!" says the Chinese man.
"Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" asks the Jewish man.
So the Chinese man punches the Jewish man.
"Ow! What's that for?" asks the Jewish man.
"It's for the Titanic," says the Chinese man.
"What? That was an iceberg that brought down the Titanic!" says the Jewish man.
"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

A Chinese man and a Jewish man are sitting next to each other on a plane.

Suddenly, the Jewish man slaps the Chinese man across the face.
"What was that for?" asks the Chinese man..
"For Pearl Harbor" says the Jewish man.
"That was Japanese. I'm Chinese," the Chinese man says.
"Chinese, Japanese" what's the difference?
Few minutes later, the Chinese man slaps the Jewish man.
"What was that for?" asks the Jew.
"It's for the Titanic."
"The Titanic? That was an iceberg..."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?" says the Chinese man.

What do you call a Japanese spice d**...?


..Trump said "Buy american, Hire american"

Standing on an Ikea podium from *Sweden*, behind bullet proof by Saint Gobain Glass from *France*, smiling at a 4K Sony *Japanese* Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser *German* microphone, with vigorous hand gestures giving a glimpse of a Rolex under the cuff made in *Switzerland*
he patriotically said ..*"Buy American, Hire American, Stop Immigrants".* while standing beside a *Slovenian wife*

I broke up with a Japanese girl last week...

It s**..., because I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message.

One of the British national daily newspapers was asking readers: "What it means to be British?".

Some of the emails were hilarious but this one from a Swiss was a winner.
"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for
a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on a Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV. He buys a holiday home in Spain, Skis in France, fancies Swedish birds and has a Romanian au-pair.
And the most British thing of all?
"Suspicious of anything Foreign "

On average, an American man will have s**...

two to three times a week; whereas a Japanese man will have s**... only one or two times a year. This is upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.

A 100 year old Japanese man is being interviewed for a newspaper piece about extreme old age

and the reporter asks "do you think there's any merit to the stereotype that people from this village live a lot longer than others?"
The old man thinks for a second and says "you know, I'm not sure. Let me go ask my dad". And the reporter, stunned, stammers "y-your dad? Where is he right now??" and the old man says "I think he's out fishing with my grandpa".

What do you call a Japanese chicken that likes b**...?


A Black Guy, a Japanese guy, a Chinese Guy, an Arab, a Turk and a second Black guy walk into a bar

The Arab guy sits down at the bar and subsequently, he gets served first.
The bartender says, "what'll it be?"
The Arab guy says to him, "I think I'll get a Mich Ultra. Nothing too high calorie; I'm actually trying to lose a few pounds for the upcoming charity 5k next month."
The bartender looks at him and says, "well that's all well and good, but I don't see why you need to bring races into this."

Martial arts

The Israelis developed Krav Maga - the art of disabling an opponent as quickly as possible.
The Japanese developed Jujitsu - the art of defeating an armed and armored opponent.
The Brazilians developed Capoeira - the art of defeating an opponent using dance and acrobatics.
The French developed parkour - the art of running away as quickly and efficiently as possible.

A Japanese business man living in nyc goes into the bank to exchange a large amount of US dollars into Yen....

He does the transaction with the teller, offer a polite bow accompanied by an 'ah so', and leaves.
He comes back in a week with another large amount of usd to exchange. This time he gets much less yen. He looks quizzically at the teller and she says to him, 'fluctuations'!!
He angrily grabs the cash and storms out. As he's leaving the branch he comes back in and yells at the top of his voice: 'fluc you Americans too!!!'

Japanese Banking Crisis

Uncertainty has hit the Japanese banking industry.

In the past week, Origami bank has folded, Sumo bank has gone belly up and Bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

Last week it was announced that Karaoke bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while shares in Kamikaze bank were suspended after they nosedived.

Samurai bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja bank is reported to have taken a hit, but it remains in the black.

Furthermore 500 staff at Karate bank got the chop and analysts report there is something fishy going on at Sushi bank where it's feared staff may get a raw deal.

How do you know the Japanese mass m**... was a chef?

He spent his day cutting up vegetables

A Korean and a Jew

Jew: Hey... weren't you people responsible for Pearl Harbor?
Korean: Uh... that was the Japanese. I'm Korean.
Jew: Pffft, Japanese, Chinese, Korean. What's the difference?
Korean: Well wait, weren't you people responsible for sinking the Titanic?
Jew: Uh... that was an iceberg.
Korean: Pffft, Rosenberg, Goldberg, iceberg... What's the difference?

What's the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

A Jewish man and a Chinese man strike up a conversation

Before long they're arguing.
Jewish man: "You know what? I hate you."
Chinese man: "Why?"
Jewish man: "Pearl Harbor!"
Chinese man: "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!"
Jewish man: "Japanese, Chinese what's the difference?"
Chinese man: "Well, you know what? I hate you."
Jewish man: "Why?"
Chinese man: "The Titanic!"
Jewish man: "An iceberg sunk the Titanic!"
Chinese man: "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

50% of Japanese doctors have Cataracts...

The other 50% drive Rincolns.

What do you call an Irish woman with one leg shorter than the other?

What do you call a Japanese woman with the same affliction?

How can you tell the difference between Japanese people and other Asian people?

Use a Geiger counter

When did Japanese start eating egg?

A long tamago

Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese Girl?

You have to drop the Bomb twice before she gets the Message.

What do you call an alcohol free Japanese city?


A couple just finalized their adoption of a Japanese baby.

Shortly after, they signed up for Japanese lessons and explained that they had just adopted a baby.
"How nice!" said the teacher.
"Yeah," they agreed. "He'll be talking in a couple years and we want to be able to understand him!"

I warn you not to mess with me!

I know Karate, Judo, Aikido, Jiujitsu and 22 other japanese words.

A Chinese doctor has a Jewish patient.

"Listen," says the patient, "I didn't think we were going to get along so good together."
"What do you mean?"
"What do I mean! Pearl Harbor, that's what I mean!"
"What are you talking about, Pearl Harbor? I'm Chinese!"
"Yeah, well...Chinese, Japanese, it's all the same thing."
"What do you mean, all the same thing? The Jews sunk the Titanic!"
"The Jews sunk the Titanic?"
"Sure. Greenberg, Goldberg, Iceburg, all the same to me!"

What do you call a group of senior Japanese comedians?

Comic Sans

I accidentally mixed up the words 'jacuzzi' and 'yakuza' online.

Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.

Why are Japanese people so obsessed with healthy diets?

It's because they never want to see another Fat Man in their lives.

Don't be racist, be like Mario...

He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, and runs like a Jamaican, and jumps like a Black man, and grabs coins like a Jew...

A Japanese man walks into a currency exchange

A Japanese man walks into a currency exchange with 4000 yen to exchange and receives $40.
A week later, he walks into the currency exchange again with 4000 yen, but this time only receives $30. He asks the teller why he received less money this time.
"Fluctuations," the teller says.
Furious, the Japanese man storms out of the exchange, but before slamming the door, turns around and shouts "Fluc you Amelicans too!"

A Filipino, a Chinese man, and a Japanese guy are in a bar having a drink.

When a gorgeous woman comes up to them and says, Whoever can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' in a creative sentence can have me for tonight. So the Chinese guy says I love liver and cheese. She says That's not good enough The Japanese man says I hate liver and cheese She says That's not creative Finally, the Filipino says Liver alone, cheese mine!

When i was younger i had a invisible Japanese friend...

***as i grew up i just realised it was just my imagine-asian***

I didn't realize how religious the Japanese are.

Always asking me if I have a pray station at home.

How do Japanese people learn to say milk in English?

Dairy practice.

A Japanese man walks into a currency exchange.

He gives the teller $100 CAD And receives $150 ¥ back.
He returns the following week to do the same thing. He gives the teller $100 CAD and receives $140 ¥.
He asks "I was in here last week, why am I not getting the same amount back?"
Teller replies, "Well, fluctuations."
The Japanese man says, "Oh yeah? Well fluck you white guys too"

A recent study revealed that 85% of all Japanese men have cataracts.

The rest drive Rincons and Chevrorays.

The worst part about breaking up with my Japanese girlfriend?

Having to drop the bomb twice for her to get the message.

A man goes to Japan on business and hires a p**....

He doesn't speak any Japanese and she barely speaks any English. While they are going at it she yells out, "Gama Su! Gama Su!" Knowing that she has been satisfied he goes to bed.
The next day he plays golf and one of his associates gets a hole in one. Everyone goes crazy, so to enjoy in the excitement he yells, "Gama Su! Gama Su!"
Everybody goes silent and one of his Japanese associates says, "What do you mean wrong hole?"

So, I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend recently.

I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message.

How do you tell apart a Chinese from a Japanese?

With a Geiger Counter.

A Japanese man in a monastery atop a sacred mountain asks the wise man: "Master Ayumu, why do all Westerners think that Japanese people look alike?"

"I am not Master Ayumu."

I just read a long article about Japanese sword fighters.

If you want, I can samurais it for you.

There exists a Japanese gentleman with a great power: None of his family or friends can die

He's unbereavable

Whats the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl

You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it

Know what's the hardest thing about having s**... with a Japanese girl?

Trying to find an octopus at 11PM.

Mexican self defense

A Mexican passed a Japanese man and a Korean man as they were discussing their favorite type of martial arts.
Japanese man: I practice karate, the defense arts.
Korean man: I practice Taekwondo, teaches defense and attack.
At this point the men notice the Mexican and ask him what he practices
Mexican: Judono
Men: We have heard of Judo but not Judono, what is it?
Mexican: Well, judono if I got a gun, judono if I got a knife...

An American businessman was in Japan...

He hired a local h**... and was going at it all night with her. She kept screaming "Fujifoo, Fugifoo!!!", which the guy took to be pleasurable.. The next day, he was golfing with his Japanese counterparts and he got a hole-in-one. Wanting to impress the clients, he said "Fujifoo". The Japanese clients looked confused and said "No, you got the right hole."

A French Girl gets her Period

My friend's family is French.
His sister had this huge French flag for a bed sheet.
Then one night she got her period.
Imagine her shock when she woke up on the Japanese Flag.

According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a person's aura changes changes right before they die.


What do you call a Japanese deep fried mattress?

A Tempura-Pedic

Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethic minority, so...

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Dane, a Romani, a Bulgarian, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgarian, a Singaporean, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Monk, an Italian, a Serb, a Russian and an Ethiopian went to a bar.
The bouncer said, "I'm sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai"

Japanese joke, Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethic minority, so..

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these japanese jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.