japanese Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious japanese puns

I held the door open for an old Japanese man, and he said "Sank you!"

Being able to understand his heavy accent, I replied "You're welcome."
He laughs and says "No, you misunderstand, I am taunting you about Pearl Harbor."

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Up the mountain, a japanese asked the wise man: "Master Akira, why every western man thinks that we, japanese, all look alike?"

"I am not Master Akira."

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Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?

Because Logan Paul left him hanging.

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An average Englishman has sex 2 or 3 times a week. A Japanese man has sex once or twice a year.

This is very upsetting as i had no idea i was Japanese.

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A Japanese man once tried to fake his own death. His family didn't bereave him.

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I once thought I had a Japanese friend.

But it was just my imagine Asian.

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I held a door for an elderly Japanese man.

He said "Sank you."

Why did he have to bring up Pearl Harbor like that?

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How do you say " 'sup dawg" in Japanese?

Konichihuahua

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What's the hardest part breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend?

You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.

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A jew and a Chinese man are in an argument...

The jew says, "I hate your people for what you did at pearl harbour". The Chinese man says, what do you mean? That was the Japanese!". The jew replies, "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same. So the Chinese man says, "Well I hate your people for sinking the titanic". The jew says, "That's ridiculous; an iceberg sunk the titanic!". The Chinese man responds, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Silverberg, you're all the same".

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How do you say goodbye to 20,000 Japanese?

With a big wave.

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What do you call a Japanese spice demon?

Pepper-oni.

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What do you get if you take off the red dot on the Japanese flag?

The French flag!

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..Trump said "Buy american, Hire american"

Standing on an Ikea podium from *Sweden*, behind bullet proof by Saint Gobain Glass from *France*, smiling at a 4K Sony *Japanese* Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser *German* microphone, with vigorous hand gestures giving a glimpse of a Rolex under the cuff made in *Switzerland*

he patriotically said ..*"Buy American, Hire American, Stop Immigrants".* while standing beside a *Slovenian wife*

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How do you say "no" in Japanese?

EA.

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How do you say goodbye to a thousand Japanese people?

A big wave

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I broke up with a Japanese girl last week...

It sucked, because I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message.

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How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?

Konnichihuahua

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On average, an American man will have sex

two to three times a week; whereas a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.

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A 100 year old Japanese man is being interviewed for a newspaper piece about extreme old age

and the reporter asks "do you think there's any merit to the stereotype that people from this village live a lot longer than others?"

The old man thinks for a second and says "you know, I'm not sure. Let me go ask my dad". And the reporter, stunned, stammers "y-your dad? Where is he right now??" and the old man says "I think he's out fishing with my grandpa".

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What do you call a Japanese chicken that likes bondage?

Hen-tie

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The best thing about Japanese porn

is they censor it so I can watch it with my family

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How does a Japanese person distinguish between a German and an extraterrestrial?

He doesn't, they are both Aryans.

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I held the door open for a Japanese woman today and she said, "sank you."

Pretty fucked up for her to bring up Pearl Harbor like that.

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What was Hannibal Lecter's favorite Japanese food?

Rawmen

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How do Japanese Chihuahuas say hello?

Konichihuahua

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Martial arts

The Israelis developed Krav Maga - the art of disabling an opponent as quickly as possible.

The Japanese developed Jujitsu - the art of defeating an armed and armored opponent.

The Brazilians developed Capoeira - the art of defeating an opponent using dance and acrobatics.

The French developed parkour - the art of running away as quickly and efficiently as possible.

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What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese chick?

You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

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What do Japanese men do when they have erections?

They vote.

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What do you call a fantastic Japanese teacher?

Sensei-tional

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I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend but she keeps calling me

Seems like I have to drop the bomb twice.

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How do you know the Japanese mass murderer was a chef?

He spent his day cutting up vegetables

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How many tickles does it take to make a Japanese girl cry?

10 tickles

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A Japanese woman went to the bank to exchange yen to US dollars.

The teller gave her $100. A few weeks later, she gave the teller the same amount of yen, but she was given only $90.

She said, "What wrong? I give yen, you only give 90 dorrah?!"

The teller shrugged and said "Fluctuations?"

The woman said "Fuck you white peopre too."

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I don't get why Japanese people and South Korean people just can't get along.

I mean, they're all Chinese.

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What are the most funny Japanese jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Japanese? Well, here are the best Japanese dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Japanese pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes