japan Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious japan puns

Why is Japan the healthiest country in the world?

Because last time they had a fat man 80,000 people died

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Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?

Because Logan Paul left him hanging.

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Why is Japan afraid of Kim Jong-un?

because they remember what the last fat man did to them

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A Japanese man once tried to fake his own death. His family didn't bereave him.

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Why does Japan have a low obesity rate and a low birth rate?

They don't like Fat Man and Little Boy

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How do you say "no" in Japanese?

EA.

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How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?

Konnichihuahua

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Why is the birthrate in Japan so low?

Last time they had a little boy, 66,000 people died.

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When I went to Japan on vacation, I didn't see a single ninja.

Impressive.

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How does a Japanese person distinguish between a German and an extraterrestrial?

He doesn't, they are both Aryans.

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How do Japanese Chihuahuas say hello?

Konichihuahua

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What do Japanese men do when they have erections?

They vote.

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The United States ruined Hiroshima. Which American city did Japan ruin?

Detroit

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How do you know the Japanese mass murderer was a chef?

He spent his day cutting up vegetables

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I don't get why Japanese people and South Korean people just can't get along.

I mean, they're all Chinese.

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A Japanese woman went to the bank to exchange yen to US dollars.

The teller gave her $100. A few weeks later, she gave the teller the same amount of yen, but she was given only $90.

She said, "What wrong? I give yen, you only give 90 dorrah?!"

The teller shrugged and said "Fluctuations?"

The woman said "Fuck you white peopre too."

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A Japanese man on vacation in america...

Went to a bank near his hotel to exchange his yen for dollars. He hands the teller 1,000 yen and he gets 10 dollars. The next day he goes to the same bank and hands the teller 1,000 yen only this time he gets back 8 dollars. When the Japanese man asks why, the teller replies "Because fluctuations." the Japanese man says "Oh yeah? Well fuck you Americans too!"

-edit. changed 100 yen to 1,000.

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What does a Japanese guy name his pet lion?

Ryan

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I like how Japan censors pornography.

It allows me to watch it with my kids.

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While I was living in Japan a woman approached me on the train...

She said to me, "What's black and white and red all over?"

"Wow," I said, "You can speak English?"

"Just a riddle," she said.

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Cataracts are extremely rare in Japan.

Chevrorets and Rincolns, on the other hand, are quite common.

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50% of Japanese doctors have Cataracts...

The other 50% drive Rincolns.

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Why is obesity not a problem in Japan?

Because the last time they had a fat man there. Several thousand people died.

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When did Japanese start eating egg?

A long tamago

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Why does Japan have such strict BMI regulations?

They remember what the first fat man did to them.

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Why does Japan have so many skinny people?

Last time they had a fat man, they lost a city.

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Why are Japanese people so obsessed with healthy diets?

It's because they never want to see another Fat Man in their lives.

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Why does japan have such a Low birth rate?

Because the last time they saw a little boy, 90000 people died

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A Japanese man walks into a currency exchange

A Japanese man walks into a currency exchange with 4000 yen to exchange and receives $40.


A week later, he walks into the currency exchange again with 4000 yen, but this time only receives $30. He asks the teller why he received less money this time.


"Fluctuations," the teller says.


Furious, the Japanese man storms out of the exchange, but before slamming the door, turns around and shouts "Fluc you Amelicans too!"

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A Japanese man walks into a currency exchange.

He gives the teller $100 CAD And receives $150 ¥ back.

He returns the following week to do the same thing. He gives the teller $100 CAD and receives $140 ¥.

He asks "I was in here last week, why am I not getting the same amount back?"

Teller replies, "Well, fluctuations."

The Japanese man says, "Oh yeah? Well fluck you white guys too"

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A Japanese woman is trying to exchange Yen for Dollars at a bank

With a baffled look on her face, she angrily demands, Yesterday, it was 180 Yen to a dollar, today it's 200. Why is that?
The banker responds, Fluctuations
The woman snaps back, Well, fuck you white people, too!

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My friend said to me, "Whenever a World Cup game is on, let's eat something to do with that team for dinner that night."

Mexico was on, we had burritos.
Japan was on, we had sushi.
USA was on, we had burgers.
Italy was on, we had pizza.
Tuesday is England, so we're going out.

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A man goes to Japan on business and hires a prostitute.

He doesn't speak any Japanese and she barely speaks any English. While they are going at it she yells out, "Gama Su! Gama Su!" Knowing that she has been satisfied he goes to bed.


The next day he plays golf and one of his associates gets a hole in one. Everyone goes crazy, so to enjoy in the excitement he yells, "Gama Su! Gama Su!"


Everybody goes silent and one of his Japanese associates says, "What do you mean wrong hole?"

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I hope NK doesn't name their bombs after their leader...

We've already seen what one Fat Man can do to Japan.

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An American businessman was in Japan...

He hired a local hooker and was going at it all night with her. She kept screaming "Fujifoo, Fugifoo!!!", which the guy took to be pleasurable.. The next day, he was golfing with his Japanese counterparts and he got a hole-in-one. Wanting to impress the clients, he said "Fujifoo". The Japanese clients looked confused and said "No, you got the right hole."

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What are the most funny Japan jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Japan? Well, here are the best Japan dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Japan pick up lines to share with friends.

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