Following is our collection of January jokes which are very funny. There are some january eliza jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these january memorial puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
It's my new year's resolution.
Can't wait to have 2020 vision.
What're the names of the USSR's three greatest generals? December, January, and February!
December, January, and February.
"That's a 3pack of condoms son for secondary school lads. 1 for Friday night, 1 for Saturday night and 1 for Sunday night."
"What about the 6pack dad?"
"Those are for University lads. 2 for Friday night, 2 for Satuday night and 2 for Sunday night."
"Well dad, what about the 12pack then?"
"Married men son. 1 for January, 1 for February, 1 for March ..."
A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.
Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."
Because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons.
It's the first date
It's only the first date!
I really can't be bothered with foreplay.
12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
You can explore january jun reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean january november dad jokes. There are also january puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Every president does this before they leave office, and records their times in a special book dating back to the early 19th century. Obama recently completed it, knowing he had to get it done before January. He did 9:25 and was quite pleased with it. He wondered if he had set the record, but then he found out that Bush did 9:11.
- What is your date of birth?
- 0
- Ohh, nice I was born in January too.
The date is 20 January 2017. Donald Trump has just been sworn in as President. He walks to the mic for his inauguration speech. He looks at Obama and says "You're Fired"
Today, President Obama announced that, after January 20th, the official title of "U.S. Government" will be changed to include quotation marks around Government.
Because he knows how to reduce fractions.
No, but April May
Even if everyone keeps saying that I need to shower.
Programmers are always grumpy on January 1st - they turn on their monitor and the screen has the same number of pixels even though they keep hearing about the New Year's Resolution
It's getting less funnier each day I tell her.
Just like last year.
Father: Those are for highschool boys son. One for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Son: Then what is this 6 pack for?
Father: Those are for college men! 2 for Friday 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday!
Son: WOW!! And the 12 pack of condoms?
Father: Sigh.... Those are for married men. One for January.... One for February..... One for...
However, because they had to get ready, it has since been postponed to 8 March.
but April identifying as January is crossing the line.
A KGB agent walks up to the front and asks, One vodka, please.
The woman at the register looks and says, Comrade, this is a McDonalds. We don't serve vodka.
The KGB agent looks surprised and says, Excuse me, comrade. One *McVodka*, please.
Once in 1888, again in 1922, a third time in 1954, and another time in January 2018
It's the middle of January, but it feels like the end of May.
But we just celebrated my son's third birthday and he was born in January.
January
February
Lockdown
December
Student: No, it's January
It's my new years resolution
At least not till January which won't come soon enough.
He's having Rudy draw up the paperwork to form The United States Total Landscaping Co. as we speak!
Both will be out in January.
January — ABCD...
February — EFG...
March — HIJK...
April to December — ELEMENOP.
It's Justin Trudeau. I'm Canadian.
They both get thrown out in January
Twenty-twenty won.
People may have hope for the year after that, but I hear it'll be twenty-twenty too.
It includes a direct payment of $40 in Kohl's Cash that will be valid from January 3 - January 7, 2021.
Santa has been asked to quarantine for 14 days.
Realised a week into January I didn't need to bother because I am already perfect
Both can fu k off in January.
It will be a gym for two weeks in January, and then a beer and burger place for the rest of the year.
I'm calling it, "Resolutions."
She saw the expression of confusion on my face and said, "oh, don't worry honey, this is just my new year's resolution"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the january september jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working january december piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.