The Best 19 January 1st Jokes

Following is our collection of funny January 1st jokes. There are some january 1st jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these january 1st puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest January 1st Jokes and Puns

I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 1080p and above.

It's my new year's resolution.

On January 1st I joked to my girlfriend we haven't had sex all year.

It's getting less funnier each day I tell her.

You shouldn't kiss someone on January 1st

It's the first date

New Years resolution

Programmers are always grumpy on January 1st - they turn on their monitor and the screen has the same number of pixels even though they keep hearing about the New Year's Resolution

My friend Jack …

… woke up on January 1st 2021, glanced over at his wife Edna and was suprised to see that she looked weirdly pixelated.


Oh my god! he yelped with a look of confusion and growing concern on his face, What happened last night?!


Seeing his expression, Edna reached over to give him a hug saying, Oh don't worry honey, this is just my New Year's resolution!


Don't have sex on January 1st

It's only the first date!

Finally got round to booking my laser eye surgery for the 1st January

Can't wait to have 2020 vision.

On January 1st I joked to my wife we haven't had sex all year.

Just like last year.

I don't think I was concentrating properly when midnight struck on January 1st 2000.

It just went in one era and out the other.

As it's January 1st, I've decided on two New Year's Resolutions: To stop smoking, and to stop masturbating.

I've gone down from 20 a day to 15 a day, but the smoking is proving much harder to quit.

So I saw an internet survey the other day...

and apparently 99.87% of the population was born on the 1st of January! How very strange!

You can explore january 1st reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean january 1st dad jokes. There are also january 1st puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I got a new ultra high definition monitor on January 1st.

My New Year's resolution is 4K.

What do cows say on January 1st?

Happy moo year!

I Haven't Had Sex This Year

~~Or ever~~ Because it's January 1st hahaha

It's only January 1st, but I already know what I'm doing next year.

I have 2020 vision.

Starting January 1st McDonald's will not be making fries any longer

They are already long enough

Everyone else saying "haven't seen you since last year" on January 1st

Meanwhile i say "see you next year" on January 1st and proceed to hide in my room

What will the Soviets do on January 1st, 2019?

They'll make a new year's revolution.

Happy 47th birthday, teens logging into adults-only websites!

And the same to anyone else whose birthday actually *is* January 1st, 1969.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the january 1st puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working january 1st piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes