January 1st Jokes
31 january 1st jokes and hilarious january 1st puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about january 1st that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest January 1st Short Jokes
Short january 1st jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The january 1st humour may include short march 1st jokes also.
- I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 1080p and above. It's my new year's resolution.
- Finally got round to booking my laser eye surgery for the 1st January Can't wait to have 2020 vision.
- I don't think I was concentrating properly when midnight struck on January 1st 2000. It just went in one era and out the other.
- So I saw an internet survey the other day... and apparently 99.87% of the population was born on the 1st of January! How very strange!
- Starting January 1st McDonald's will not be making fries any longer They are already long enough
- Everyone else saying "haven't seen you since last year" on January 1st Meanwhile i say "see you next year" on January 1st and proceed to hide in my room
- Happy 47th birthday, teens logging into adults-only websites! And the same to anyone else whose birthday actually *is* January 1st, 1969.
Share These January 1st Jokes With Friends
January 1st One Liners
Which january 1st one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with january 1st? I can suggest the ones about april 1st and new year.
- You shouldn't kiss someone on January 1st It's the first date
- I got a new ultra high definition monitor on January 1st. My New Year's resolution is 4K.
- What do cows say on January 1st? Happy moo year!
- It's only January 1st, but I already know what I'm doing next year. I have 2020 vision.
- What will the Soviets do on January 1st, 2019? They'll make a new year's revolution.
- What is the most popular birthday based on Internet records? January 1st, 1993
- I haven't had anything to eat all year. It's 12:01 January 1st where I am
- I Haven't Had s**... This Year ~~Or ever~~ Because it's January 1st hahaha
- January 1st I had s**... with a black guy.
Howlingly Hilarious January 1st Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about january 1st you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean first april jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make january 1st pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
On January 1st I joked to my girlfriend we haven't had s**... all year.
It's getting less funnier each day I tell her.
When I woke up on January 1st, I was surprised to see that my wife looked very pixelated.
She saw the expression of confusion on my face and said, "oh, don't worry honey, this is just my new year's resolution"
New Years resolution
Programmers are always grumpy on January 1st - they turn on their monitor and the screen has the same number of pixels even though they keep hearing about the New Year's Resolution
My friend Jack …
… woke up on January 1st 2021, glanced over at his wife Edna and was suprised to see that she looked weirdly pixelated.
Oh my god! he yelped with a look of confusion and growing concern on his face, What happened last night?!
Seeing his expression, Edna reached over to give him a hug saying, Oh don't worry honey, this is just my New Year's resolution!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As it's January 1st, I've decided on two New Year's Resolutions: To stop smoking, and to stop m**....
I've gone down from 20 a day to 15 a day, but the smoking is proving much harder to quit.
I went for a walk through Memory Lane today.
I found some boxes in my closet. In it were old family relics. My great-great grandfather's World War One helmet was the first thing I saw. There was also my grandmother's surgical gear when she was a nurse in the local hospital, and countless heirlooms I can't possibly list all of which.
Then, I got to the one that sparked the most memories: My grandfather's collecting hobby.
Every day since January 1st, 1949, he collected ties with funny designs and wore them to work. Some had cats, or snakes or airplanes. He had close to 100 by the time he died several years ago. I remember as a kid how much I loved them, he had stories of what happened to him while.he wore those ties. He had an awesome memory and was good at telling stories.
When he passed, he left them to me. I couldn't keep all 100, and I also gave some to my cousins, but I decided to keep the ties that were his absolute favorites: his chicken pattern ties.
One day, he wore his first chicken tie when he met my grandmother. From then, he collected more chicken ties to remind him of her. I wear them every now and again, as well.
Thanks for reading this. I like to talk about them, but all my friends act weird when I tell them about my granddad's Hen Tie collection.