January 1 Jokes
10 january 1 jokes and hilarious january 1 puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about january 1 that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Share These January 1 Jokes With Friends
January 1 Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good january 1 joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Father and son in supermarket. "Dad, what are these?"
"That's a 3pack of condoms son for secondary school lads. 1 for Friday night, 1 for Saturday night and 1 for Sunday night."
"What about the 6pack dad?"
"Those are for University lads. 2 for Friday night, 2 for Satuday night and 2 for Sunday night."
"Well dad, what about the 12pack then?"
"Married men son. 1 for January, 1 for February, 1 for March ..."
Sherlock Holmes arrives at a crime scene, and immediately bends down to pick up a button on the floor.
Hmm… Sherlock ponders, I deduce that the individual this button belongs to is 6' 1 , was born in January, and has a fascination with blueberry muffins.
Watson was completely confused by his partner's deduction.
How could you possibly get all that from just a button?
Elementary! Sherlock replied. Because it's mine!
What did the psychologist say to his client after diagnosing him with a phobia on January 1?
Happy new fear.
I can't believe it! 364 days to January 1...
Yet everyone is celebrating already!
On January 1, 2019, New Horizons will fly by a small, frozen world in the Kuiper Belt called Imndan, which orbits a billion miles beyond Pluto.
This small frozen world is a stereotypical red dot.
Father and son are shopping in a grocery store and the son asks dad what are these for?
*pointing at the condoms*
Dad: oh well son, remember the birds and the bees? Well those are something you use for protection
Son: what's this 3 pack?
Dad: those are for high school kids, just getting starting.. 1 Friday, 1 Saturday and 1 Sunday
Son: this 6 back?
Dad: These are for college students.. 2 Friday, 2 Saturday, and 2 Sunday
Son: and these?
Dad: oh the 12 pack? These are very special. These are for married folks.. 1 January, 1 February, 1 March...
At the drug store
A little boy and his dad were at the drug store and they just so happened to come upon the c**... aisle.
The little boy asked his dad "Daddy why are there so many different boxes of condoms?"
"For different stages in your life." said the dad.
"What's the 3 pack for?"
"Well, that's for when your in High School 2 for Friday night, and 1 for Saturday night."
"Then whats the 6 pack for?"
"For when your at college. 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning."
"Oh. Then what's the 12 pack for?"
"Well, that's for when your married. 1 for January, 1 for February, 1 for March........"
January 1, 1990
Go change it.
Father takes his son to the pharmacy...
They are walking down an aisle and the son see's a 3 pack of condoms and asks "Father what are these?"
The father replies, "Well son those are for high school boys, one for Friday one for Saturday and one for Sunday."
They keep on walking and the son see's a six pack and asks, "Dad this pack has six?!"
The dad replies, "Yes son, those are for college boys two for Friday, two for Saturday and 2 for Sunday."
They continue walking and the son see's a twelve pack. This time in shock the son says, "Dad wow these have 12 why?!"
The father replies, "Well son those are for married men, 1 for January, 1 for February.....
Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven...
...he is greeted by St. Peter. St. Peter says, "Forrest, to get into heaven, you're going to need to answer three questions.
1. How many days of the week start with the letter T?
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
3. What is God's first name?
Forrest thinks long and hard about these three questions. Finally, he goes up to the angel and says, "I've got my answers sir."
Peter: "Okay, Forrest. How many days of the week start with the letter T?"
Forrest: "Why, today and tomorrow of course!"
Peter, slightly surprised, says "well, that wasn't the answer I was expecting, but that is correct. Next, how many seconds are there in a year?"
Forrest: "Twelve."
Peter: "Twelve?!"
Forrest: "Yeah, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd..."
Peter's more astonished than before at these unexpected answers. "Again, not what I was expecting, but correct. Finally, what is God's first name?"
Forrest: "Harold."
Peter: "Harold?!"
Forrest: "Yeah, it says so right in the lord's prayer. 'Our Father, who art in heaven, Harold be thy name.'"
Share These January 1 Jokes With Friends