The Best 68 Janitor Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Janitor jokes. There are some janitor doorman jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these janitor caretaker puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Janitor Jokes and Puns

The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some weed with her

I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.

The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."

The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.

The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.

The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.

The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."

What did the janitor get for his birthday?

A urinal cake.

Janitor joke, What did the janitor get for his birthday?

A men calls the hotel reception

He tells the manager, "I need help, my ex-wife is trying to jump out of the window", the manager replies "Do you want me to send a psychologist?", the men says "No, send the janitor, the window is stuck!"

What did Hitler call his janitor?

Mein Sweeper


Did you hear about the janitor who suffocated in a row of turds?

He died in the line of doody.

Why did the janitor flush the toilet?

Because it was his duty.

Janitor joke, Why did the janitor flush the toilet?

A man asks a janitor in his office...

"Hey, don't you get tired being just a janitor?"

The janitor is taken aback. "Excuse me, let me tell you that even if I'm just a janitor, I have a kid each in Harvard, MIT, and Princeton."

"Wow," the man is surprised, "what courses are they taking?"

"Nah, they're janitors too."

Who was the first black person accepted into Harvard University?

The Janitor

A man walks into a job interview...

He sits down on a chair, and the interviewer starts questioning him.

"So son, where did you receive your education?"

The man replied "Yale".

The interviewer, pleasantly surprised, says "Yale? Hard to believe you went to Yale to become a janitor. So what's your name?"

The man replied "Yack Yackson".

A janitor, a security guard, and a CEO are sitting at table with a dozen Twinkies.

The CEO grabs 11 Twinkies for himself, turns to the security guard and says: "Watch out for the janitor, he wants part of your Twinkie."

You can explore janitor housekeeper reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean janitor bellboy dad jokes. There are also janitor puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why was the janitor late?

He overswept

If I work as a janitor at an office, does that mean that every time I change a lightbulb I climb the corporate ladder?

Why did the janitor file for a divorce?

He found his wife sweeping with someone else.

What do you get when you give a janitor a joint?

A high maintenance building.

Disturbing Pattern of Suicides

When some scientists plotted the number of suicides per year, they discovered a curious pattern. Every four years, there would be a spike in the number.

This baffled them, until the old janitor said: "Perhaps it was not a good idea to call them leap years."

Janitor joke, Disturbing Pattern of Suicides

Monkey Business

A zookeeper notices the lonely female gorilla is feeling depressed and needs to cheer her up again. He asks the redneck janitor of the zoo if he'll have sex with the gorilla for $500.
The redneck says that he'll do it under 2 conditions.
Ok, says the zookeeper, what are they?
I don't want anyone to ever find out.
Ok, done! What's your second condition?
The redneck says; "I'll need an extra week to come up with the five hundred dollars."

My school janitor is a part-time pianist.

He has 88 keys.

What Did the Janitor Say When He Jumped Out of the Closet?

"Supplies!"

I'll see myself out


I would like to work as a janitor in Microsoft.

I could see myself excel in that job.

I just swept a girl off her feet.

I'm quite an aggressive janitor.

Why did the janitor get fired from the bank?

Because he cleaned out the vault.

What's the difference between a pig and a dwarf janitor?

One is messy, and the other is a little cleaner.

A woman walks in on the janitor using the women's washroom...

"What are you doing in here?"

"The men's room is filthy"

A Janitor starts up his car.

"Broom broom"

The School Janitor

Janitor: I know im just a school janitor, but my eldest son is in M.I.T., his younger brother in Princeton, and my youngest in Harvard.

Student: (amazed) Wow, what are they studying?

Janitor: Oh no, they are janitors as well.

Just because I'm below grade average and my family is poor, doesn't mean I won't be applying to colleges

There's bound to be one college with an opening position as a janitor.

Harvard University accepted my application!

I'm going to be their best janitor!

Where do janitors go at night?

They go to sweep.

The janitor at the bank managed to rob 21 million dollars.

He made a clean getaway!

When a girl sleeps with girls in college, she's "experimenting"

When I do it, I'm "fired" and "a terrible dorm janitor"

What do you call a janitor who smokes weed?

High maintenance.

What did the janitor say when he came out of the closet?

Supplies!

How does the ghost of a janitor communicate with the living world?

Squeegee board

Why did the janitor with a speech impediment miss his shift?

He overswept

What do you call a janitor in space?

A vacuum cleaner

I saw two janitors making out

And I said hey, get a broom!

Why was the janitor late?

He over swept

A janitor, a waitress, and a bartender walk into a bar.

Then they open for the day.

The gym teacher gets a handgun, the janitor gets a shot gun, and the principal gets an uzi. What do they arm the lunch lady with?

A salt rifle

Never get in a fight with a Janitor...

Unless you want your clock cleaned.

The janitor couldn't remember where he put the floor polisher

As a programmer, this isn't the first time I encountered a 'buffer allocation failure due to memory error'

A caveman walks into an auditorium

He sits down in the front row and a janitor walks by. The janitor turns to the caveman and says, "Hey, the anthropology lecture doesn't start for another hour. You're early, man."

What does a janitor yell when he jumps out of the closet?

Supplies!

"Art is the elimination of the unnecessary" -Pablo Picasso

"Sure thing Pablo, but must people just call me the janitor" - Art

What did the Chinese janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

SUPPRISE!

I have a friend who's half Portuguese and half Jewish

He's a janitor, but the building is his.

The janitor lady in our apartment building wanted me to hang out with her and smoke pot. I said no.

I tend to avoid high maintenance women.

The janitor at my work asked if I wanted to take a five minute break to go smoke weed with her.

I told her, 'No, I'm sorry, but I don't have time for a high maintainance woman."

What did the janitor yell when he jumped out of the cupboard?

SUPPLIES!

Why should you vote a janitor into public office?

If you want them to make sweeping changes.

What does a Janitor have in common with Santa Claus?

Leave out some cookies for them and you'll receive better treatment.

have you heard about the janitor that died?

yeah, he kicked the bucket

It's not right to assume that a janitor can clean your chimney.

You shouldn't make sweeping generalizations.

A janitor gets accepted into Nascar

His car goes "Broom, Broom"

Young man fresh out of college gets a job at a factory

When he arrives he surprised that he is assigned as junior janitor. Shocked he asks for the manager who hired him. Didn't you read I have a double major in Social Science and Anthropology

Oh says the man, I must have missed that. OK let me explain. Lift the mop up and put in the bucket, then wipe the dirty floor with it.

My dad works at Microsoft!

He's a Janitor

The janitor of my apartment building asked if I wanted to smoke some weed with her

I told her no. I can't stand high maintenance women.

Harvard University

I guess my dream is finally coming true. Among many people who applied for Harvard University,they chose me to be the janitor.

They say a good woman will cook and clean for you.

That's why i married a part time Chef and a full-time janitor

The female janitor in my building asked if I would smoke some weed with her.

I said no; I can't deal with high maintenance women.

A guy's wife was spending a lot of time with the janitor, turns out his suspicions were correct.

He was sweeping with his wife.

The Janitor jumped out of the closet and yelled...

... Supplies!

My father who is a janitor said his position at work was raised

He will be cleaning the 40th floor instead of the 39th.

A janitor at my work offered me to come over and smoke weed with her..

I said no, sorry I can't stand high maintenance women.

Two monks werewere discussing humility.

"I have been praying and fasting, meditating and studying religion for 20 years. I have finally reached the level of humility. I am truly a nothing." said one monk.

The other monk nodded gravely. "I too have spent my life devoted to serving God. I am also a nothing."

At that moment a janitor passed, holding his mop. Overhearing the conversation, and feeling quite spiritual, he interrupted. "You know what, i am also a nothing."

The monks looked away in disgust. "Who the hell does he think he is to be a nothing???"

The janitor had trouble with his broom

After days of frustration he went to his boss and demanded sweeping reforms

A janitor at my work asked me to come over and smoke weed with her!!

I told her No. I can't stand high maintenance women.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the janitor confessions jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working janitor attendant piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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