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Jamaican Jokes

143 jamaican jokes and hilarious jamaican puns to laugh out loud. Read ethnic jokes about jamaican that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for some laughter? Check out our collection of Jamaican jokes. From clever riddles to hilarious puns, we've got something for everyone.

Funniest Jamaican Short Jokes

Short jamaican jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jamaican humour may include short reggae jokes also.

  1. Teacher - 'Use dandelion in a sentence' Jamaican student - 'De cheetah is faster dandelion'
  2. Teacher asks class: "use the word Dandelion in a sentence" Teacher asks class: "use the word Dandelion in a sentence"
    Jamaican student: "the cheetah is faster dandelion"
    *Everyone dies*
  3. A Jamaican is asked, use Dandelion in a sentence ... He then says ...
    "The cheetah is faster dandelion"
  4. My girlfriend said I believe in you and it made me happy. But then I realised she had just affected a culturally inappropriate Jamaican accent to break the news that she was moving out.
  5. What is the difference between Jamaicans and Jewish people? Their reaction when someone asks if they want to get baked.
  6. A english teacher asked the class... ... Use the word 'dandelion' in a sentence.
    The Jamaican kid then stood up and proudly exclaimed -
    De Cheetah is fastah dandelion'
  7. Why was the Jamaican surprised when he saw a bunch of Transformers flying over his house? 'Cause there were robots in de skies.
  8. What do you call a Jamaican man who has committed some sin? A cinnamon.
    It's turrible I know, but I thought of it at the grocery store and had to share it.
  9. Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word 'dandelion' in it. Jamaican: Da Cheetah ran faster dandelion
  10. So the Jamaican said to the Arab.. "Aye where you from? You from tha beach mon?" The Arab replied "Yemen!'

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Jamaican One Liners

Which jamaican one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jamaican? I can suggest the ones about ska and island.

  1. What does a Jamaican do when he sees a spaceman? He parks his car, man.
  2. Why don't Jamaican people secure their homes? Because they dread locks
  3. A new episode of my favorite Jamaican cooking show just came on... What-Jamaican
  4. What do you call a Jamaican guy exhaling deeply? Simon.
  5. We're having a Jamaican themed hair day at work this Friday I'm dreading it already
  6. What do you get when you cross a Jamaican with a ginger? A gingerbreadmon.
  7. You know what I dread? The long hair of Jamaicans
  8. What do you call a Jamaican proctologist? Pokemon!
  9. Why can't Jamaicans count to 10? Because there's a *tree* in the way!
  10. What do you call it when a Jamaican chef cooks Hawaiian food? Poké, mon!
  11. "I'm independent" Said the Jamaican, showing me his initialised necklace.
  12. Jamaican Snowman What's a Jamaican snowman's favorite song? ...... Snowoman no cry.
  13. What do you get when you cross a Jamaican and a Scotsman Dreadlochs
  14. What do you call a Jamaican guy on the internet? A digimon.
  15. How often do Jamaican farmers milk their cows? Every udder day

Jamaican Accent Jokes

Here is a list of funny jamaican accent jokes and even better jamaican accent puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If you say the words 'beer can' in a British accent, it sounds like you're saying 'bacon' in a Jamaican accent.
  • Say "beer can" out loud with a British accent. You just said "bacon" with a Jamaican accent.
  • What has a beer belly, but doesn't drink any beer? A bear.
    (This works best in a Jamaican accent)
  • Say "beer can" with an English accent You've just said bacon with a Jamaican accent
  • Say 'beer can' in a British accent. I just taught you to say 'bacon' in a Jamaican accent.
  • How much wood would a Jamaican mathematician chuck if a Jamaican mathematician would chuck wood? Log base tree often
    (Jamaican accent: log base 3 of 10)
  • How can you tell if someone has a Jamaican accent? They roll their J's.
  • Warning Jamaican Dad Joke. Read with a thick Jamaican accent. I play triangle in a reggae band. I just stand at de back an ting.
  • If Rick Ross was Jamaican his slogan would be Bumbuh Rawss (Say it in a Jamaican accent)

Jamaican Bar Jokes

Here is a list of funny jamaican bar jokes and even better jamaican bar puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A Jamaican man walks into a bar... He lost.
Jamaican joke, A Jamaican man walks into a bar...

Jamaican Church Jokes

Here is a list of funny jamaican church jokes and even better jamaican church puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call someone making trouble in a Jamaican church? A Cinnamon
    (sound it out)
Jamaican joke, What do you call someone making trouble in a Jamaican church?

Comical Jamaican Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about jamaican you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dandelion jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jamaican pranks.

A Priest and a Jamaican man are on a plane...

..and as they're taking off, the pilot says over the intercom "folks, I have something to tell you. I cannot fly the plane if someone passes gas; if someone does, I'll pass out and the plane will c**...."
So halfway through the flight, the plane noses forward and goes into a dive. And the Jamaican stands up and screams "Who passed de gas?"
The priest says "how did you know?"
And the Jamaican answers "de scent!"
...I'll show myself out

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman... (long joke)

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a v**... Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ghanaian, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, 2 Africans and you...
walk into a fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group, "but you can't come in here without a Thai."

A Jamaican man saunters into a bank

.. with a 25kg bag of m**... and hands it over to the cashier. Shocked, the cashier asks.. What's this for!? The man, a Rastafarian, replies; "Me 'ere to open a joint account, mon!"

I was doing a crossword and asked my Jamaican friend for help

I asked him, "Hey, what's a 10 letter word for colossal or huge?"
He said, "Monumental!"
I replied, "No, I'm not."

What is a Jamaicans favorite country to visit?

Yeahman

Today is "Jamaican hair day" at work.

I'm dreading it.

Heart jokes

What did one human heart say to the other? I got a heart on
What did one Jamaican heart say to the other? That's a nice beat mon
What is the human hearts favorite kind of shirt? A wife beater
What did the coach say at Heart University? Come on guys let's get pumped
What did the police officer say to the human heart? You're under cardiac arrest
What did the heart say after he was assaulted? Man I sure took a beating

I've just joined a Jamaican jazz band as a triangle player.

I just stand at the back and ting.

What do you call a Jamaican motorcycle?

Bob Harley

A Jamaican went to the barber.

It was a dreadful experience.

All these what?

Whenever a Jamaican women talks about "all these terrible shootings"
I'm never sure if they mean gun violence, or footwear accessories.

Man waits impatiently at the Jamaican restaurant...

Man: when will my burger be ready!?
Jamaican man: mon soon!
Man: Soon!? I've already been waiting for 45 min—
[both men were killed by a monsoon]

What do you called an unemployed Jamaican?

Jah Bless

Don't get a Jamaican hairdo...

I did and I have been dreading it ever since.

What do you call a gay Jamaican guy?

Pokemon
...don't hate me.

What do you call a Jamaican squid?

Calamarley

What do you call a Jamaican cooking competition?

A j**...

How do Jamaican's end their prayers?

Ey mon.

What does a Jamaican Liar sit on?

Deceit.

What do you call a Jamaican who likes spaghetti?

A Pastafarian.

What do you call a Jamaican gynecologist?

A poke-mon!
Pls don't hurt me.

A Jamaican is sightseeing in Egypt.

A vehicle drives by, beeping its horn. "Coo yah!" he says. "It's tootin' car, mon!"

what does a grape and jamaicans have in common

absolutely nothing

Don't be racist, be like Mario...

He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, and runs like a Jamaican, and jumps like a Black man, and grabs coins like a Jew...

What did the Jamaican who immediately needed corn say?

"EAR ME NOW!"

"Meetings"

What a Jamaican calls everything he owns.

What did the the Jamaican daddy spice say to his son when he was being bad?

Your a cinnamon

What do you call a Jamaican teacher at Hogwarts?

De mentor.

What did the Jamaican man say when asked why he didn't mind going to jail for stealing the Pikachu card?

I love the pokey, mon.

How do you call a Jamaican mountain?

High ground

Why didn't the Jamaican cut his hair?

He dreaded it.

Despair.

What a Jamaican gets when he's bowling.

What did the Jamaican say after winning the barefoot marathon?

"Da trill of victory always betta dan de agony of de feet!"

What do Jamaicans eat when they're on a budget?

Jahmon noodles

How do Jamaicans pleasure themselves?

Rastabation

"f**..."

What a Jamaican says when they spot something off in the distance.

Meetings

That's what a Jamaican calls his possessions.

I broke the law in front of a Jamaican selling spices

He said I'm a cinnamon

What do Jamaican Charizards eat in Hawaii?

Poke, mon.

An Englishman saying 'beer can' sounds like...

A Jamaican saying 'bacon'.

fasting.

What a Jamaican calls Sonic the Hedgehog

What did bob marley say to the chef?

What Jamaican?

A Jamaican guy asks another Jamaican guy...

"Hey mon, do you know what the thing that casts the shadow in a sundial is called?"
The other guy thinks for a moment and then responds: "Gnomon".

What do you call a Jamaican fish?

Sal mon

What do the French call a yellow Jamaican man?

Lèmon.
I thought of this one myself shut up

What do you call a Jamaican that just finished his reggae album?

Ben-jamin

What do you call a Jamaican with a broken leg?

Usain Halt.

What do you call a Jamaican dentist?

A Flosstifarian

What do you call a Jamaican man born in Italy?

Reggae-Toni

Why was the Jamaican footballer sad?

He was kicked off his team's rasta

What do you call a Jamaican who goes swimming in Egypt?

In denial

What do you call a Jamaican spear wielding man?

Pokey Mon

How does a jamaican propose?

Marry Ju Wanna?

What's a Jamaican's favorite pasta?

Reggaetoni

Jamaican joke, What's a Jamaican's favorite pasta?

jokes about jamaican