The Best 78 Jamaican Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Jamaican jokes. There are some jamaican rasta jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these jamaican mon puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Jamaican Jokes and Puns

A Priest and a Jamaican man are on a plane...

..and as they're taking off, the pilot says over the intercom "folks, I have something to tell you. I cannot fly the plane if someone passes gas; if someone does, I'll pass out and the plane will crash."

So halfway through the flight, the plane noses forward and goes into a dive. And the Jamaican stands up and screams "Who passed de gas?"

The priest says "how did you know?"

And the Jamaican answers "de scent!"

...I'll show myself out

Why can't Jamaicans count to 10?

Because there's a *tree* in the way!

Jamaican Snowman

What's a Jamaican snowman's favorite song? ...... Snowoman no cry.

Jamaican joke, Jamaican Snowman

What do you call a Jamaican man who has committed some sin?

A Cinnamon.

It's turrible I know, but I thought of it at the grocery store and had to share it.

What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?

Pokemon!


A Jamaican man saunters into a bank

.. with a 25kg bag of marijuana and hands it over to the cashier. Shocked, the cashier asks.. What's this for!? The man, a Rastafarian, replies; "Me 'ere to open a joint account, mon!"

I was doing a crossword and asked my Jamaican friend for help

I asked him, "Hey, what's a 10 letter word for colossal or huge?"
He said, "Monumental!"
I replied, "No, I'm not."

Jamaican joke, I was doing a crossword and asked my Jamaican friend for help

What is a Jamaicans favorite country to visit?

Yeahman

Today is "Jamaican hair day" at work.

I'm dreading it.

Say "beer can" out loud with a British accent.

You just said "bacon" with a Jamaican accent.

If you say the words 'beer can' in a British accent, it sounds like you're saying 'bacon' in a Jamaican accent.

You can explore jamaican wendy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean jamaican barbados dad jokes. There are also jamaican puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call a Jamaican guy on the internet?

A digimon.

A Jamaican went to the barber.

It was a dreadful experience.

All these what?

Whenever a Jamaican women talks about "all these terrible shootings"

I'm never sure if they mean gun violence, or footwear accessories.

Man waits impatiently at the Jamaican restaurant...

Man: when will my burger be ready!?

Jamaican man: mon soon!

Man: Soon!? I've already been waiting for 45 minβ€”

[both men were killed by a monsoon]

What do you called an unemployed Jamaican?

Jah Bless

Jamaican joke, What do you called an unemployed Jamaican?

"I'm independent"

Said the Jamaican, showing me his initialised necklace.

So the Jamaican said to the Arab..

"Aye where you from? You from tha beach mon?" The Arab replied "Yemen!'

What do you call a Jamaican squid?

Calamarley


What do you call a Jamaican cooking competition?

A jerkoff

What do you get when you cross a Jamaican and a Scotsman

Dreadlochs

What do you get when you cross a Jamaican with a ginger?

A gingerbreadmon.

What do you call a Jamaican who likes spaghetti?

A Pastafarian.

What does a Jamaican do when he sees a spaceman?

He parks his car, man.

Don't be racist, be like Mario...

He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, and runs like a Jamaican, and jumps like a Black man, and grabs coins like a Jew...

What did the the Jamaican daddy spice say to his son when he was being bad?

Your a cinnamon

What do you call a Jamaican teacher at Hogwarts?

De mentor.

What did the Jamaican man say when asked why he didn't mind going to jail for stealing the Pikachu card?

I love the pokey, mon.

How do you call a Jamaican mountain?

High ground

A Jamaican is asked, use Dandelion in a sentence ...

He then says ...
"The cheetah is faster dandelion"

Despair.

What a Jamaican gets when he's bowling.

Teacher asks class: "use the word Dandelion in a sentence"

Teacher asks class: "use the word Dandelion in a sentence"

Jamaican student: "the cheetah is faster dandelion"

*Everyone dies*

How do Jamaicans pleasure themselves?

Rastabation

"Farting"

What a Jamaican says when they spot something off in the distance.

Meetings

That's what a Jamaican calls his possessions.

I broke the law in front of a Jamaican selling spices

He said I'm a cinnamon

What do Jamaican Charizards eat in Hawaii?

Poke, mon.

What do you call a Jamaican guy exhaling deeply?

Simon.

An Englishman saying 'beer can' sounds like...

A Jamaican saying 'bacon'.

We're having a Jamaican themed hair day at work this Friday

I'm dreading it already

Why was the Jamaican surprised when he saw a bunch of Transformers flying over his house?

'Cause there were robots in de skies.

Fasting.

What a Jamaican calls Sonic the Hedgehog

What did Bob Marley say to the chef?

What Jamaican?

Teacher - 'Use dandelion in a sentence'

Jamaican student - 'De cheetah is faster dandelion'

A Jamaican guy asks another Jamaican guy...

"Hey mon, do you know what the thing that casts the shadow in a sundial is called?"

The other guy thinks for a moment and then responds: "Gnomon".

What do you call a Jamaican fish?

Sal mon

What do you call a Jamaican that just finished his reggae album?

Ben-jamin

What do you call a Jamaican with a broken leg?

Usain Halt.

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word 'dandelion' in it.

Jamaican: Da Cheetah ran faster dandelion

Why was the Jamaican footballer sad?

He was kicked off his team's rasta

A english teacher asked the class...

... Use the word 'dandelion' in a sentence.

The Jamaican kid then stood up and proudly exclaimed -

De Cheetah is fastah dandelion'

What do you call a Jamaican who goes swimming in Egypt?

In denial

My girlfriend said I believe in you and it made me happy.

But then I realised she had just affected a culturally inappropriate Jamaican accent to break the news that she was moving out.

What do you call a Jamaican spear wielding man?

Pokey Mon

What do you call someone making trouble in a Jamaican church?

A Cinnamon

(sound it out)

How does a jamaican propose?

Marry Ju Wanna?

What has a beer belly, but doesn't drink any beer?

A bear.

(This works best in a Jamaican accent)

Why don't Jamaican people secure their homes?

Because they dread locks

Disappear.

A Jamaican tour guide standing by a quay.

What do you call a Jamaican spice trader?

Cinna-Mon.

What do you call a deadly Jamaican rock?

A Diemond

'I love your paintings'

Someone in an art gallery

or

a Jamaican in a bondage shop.

A teacher asked a Jamaican kid in class to use the word dandelion in a sentence

The kid said The cheetah is faster dandelion

How to master Australian accent in seconds

Say "Rise Up Lights" out loud. *You just said razor blades in Australian accent.*

Don't stop there.

Say "Beer Can" with an English accent. *You just said Bacon in Jamaican accent.*

Mastered.

How does a Jamaican close a prayer?

Ayy mon'

A Canadian, a Swiss, a German, a Mexican, a American, a Korean, a Austrian, a Brazilian, a Estonian, a Filipino, a British, a Egyptian, a Icelander, a Jamaican, a South African, a Puerto Rican, a Chinese, a Latvian, a Moroccan, a Taiwanese, a Spaniard, and a Romanian walk into a fancy restaurant.

The waiter stops them and says Sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai.

Having a Jamaican hairstyle theme at work tommorow.

Im dreading it.

I'm gonna open a Jamaican poke fusion resturant

Called Poke Mon

A little girl turns to her mother and asks, "What is that rasta man cooking behind us?"

The mother turns around to look and says, "I don't know sweetie. What Jamaican?"

A man walks past a house that has a sign posted up saying "Boat for sale" and decides to check it out

As he's walking up the driveway, all he sees is an old car and a grill.

Confused, he knocks on the door and asks the Jamaican home owner, "hey, I can see that you have a sign out front saying you've got a boat, but all I can see is an old car and a grill.."

"Ya mon!" the Jamaican home owner excitedly replies, "and dem boat for sale!"

Little Johnny, can you tell me what "Monumental" means?

"It means acting crazy," says little Johnny.

"Where did you hear that?" the teacher asks.

"From the Jamaican guy next door.

What do you call an impious Jamaican?

Cinnamon

Teacher: Make a sentence with the word, dandelion.

Jamaican Student: de Cheetah is faster dandelion

How often do Jamaican farmers milk their cows?

Every udder day

Trump, walking and arguing with a critic, stops a random person in the street to ask their opinion on the matter at hand.

Trump: Sir, maybe you can settle something for us; what do YOU think of how I performed as president of the United States?

Random Guy: Monumental

Trump: Thank you sir, you've been very helpful!

(To the Critic) See?! What did I tell you?

Critic: uhhhhh...that guy was Jamaican.

A new episode of my favorite Jamaican cooking show just came on...

What-Jamaican

A man comes home, sees his wife cooking and says watcha makin?

The wife says I'm baking a cake in honor of a famous Jamaican. It will have his face on it .

The man says yeah I know that. I asked 'what Jamaican?

Why did the Jamaican spice dealer turn his life around?

Because he was a cinna-mon

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the jamaican trinidad jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working jamaican rastafari piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes