Jamaican Jokes
139 jamaican jokes and hilarious jamaican puns to laugh out loud. Read ethnic jokes about jamaican that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some laughter? Check out our collection of Jamaican jokes. From clever riddles to hilarious puns, we've got something for everyone.
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Funniest Jamaican Short Jokes
Short jamaican jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jamaican humour may include short reggae jokes also.
- Teacher - 'Use dandelion in a sentence' Jamaican student - 'De cheetah is faster dandelion'
- My girlfriend said I believe in you and it made me happy. But then I realised she had just affected a culturally inappropriate Jamaican accent to break the news that she was moving out.
- Why was the Jamaican surprised when he saw a bunch of Transformers flying over his house? 'Cause there were robots in de skies.
- So the Jamaican said to the Arab.. "Aye where you from? You from tha beach mon?" The Arab replied "Yemen!'
- A Jamaican guy asks another Jamaican guy... "Hey mon, do you know what the thing that casts the shadow in a sundial is called?"
The other guy thinks for a moment and then responds: "Gnomon". - A little girl turns to her mother and asks, "What is that rasta man cooking behind us?" The mother turns around to look and says, "I don't know sweetie. What Jamaican?"
- What do you call a Jamaican squid? Calamarley
- What is a Jamaicans favorite country to visit? Yeahman
- A teacher requests the class to use"dandelion " in a sentence.... To which a little Jamaican kid stands up and his response is"Da elephant is more fierce Dandelion"🤣
- I was doing a crossword and asked my Jamaican friend for help I asked him, "Hey, what's a 10 letter word for colossal or huge?"
He said, "Monumental!"
I replied, "No, I'm not."
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Jamaican One Liners
Which jamaican one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jamaican? I can suggest the ones about ska and island.
- A new episode of my favorite Jamaican cooking show just came on... What-Jamaican
- We're having a Jamaican themed hair day at work this Friday I'm dreading it already
- What do you get when you cross a Jamaican with a ginger? A gingerbreadmon.
- You know what I dread? The long hair of Jamaicans
- What do you call a Jamaican proctologist? Pokemon!
- What do you call it when a Jamaican chef cooks Hawaiian food? Poké, mon!
- "I'm independent" Said the Jamaican, showing me his initialised necklace.
- Jamaican Snowman What's a Jamaican snowman's favorite song? ...... Snowoman no cry.
- What do you get when you cross a Jamaican and a Scotsman Dreadlochs
- How often do Jamaican farmers milk their cows? Every udder day
- Why did the Jamaican spice dealer turn his life around? Because he was a cinna-mon
- How does a Jamaican close a prayer? Ayy mon'
- What did bob marley say to the chef? What Jamaican?
- I'm gonna open a Jamaican poke fusion resturant Called Poke Mon
- Despair. What a Jamaican gets when he's bowling.
Jamaican Accent Jokes
Here is a list of funny jamaican accent jokes and even better jamaican accent puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What has a beer belly, but doesn't drink any beer? A bear.
(This works best in a Jamaican accent) - How much wood would a Jamaican mathematician chuck if a Jamaican mathematician would chuck wood? Log base tree often
(Jamaican accent: log base 3 of 10) - How can you tell if someone has a Jamaican accent? They roll their J's.
- Warning Jamaican Dad Joke. Read with a thick Jamaican accent. I play triangle in a reggae band. I just stand at de back an ting.
- If Rick Ross was Jamaican his slogan would be Bumbuh Rawss (Say it in a Jamaican accent)
Jamaican Bar Jokes
Here is a list of funny jamaican bar jokes and even better jamaican bar puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A Jamaican man walks into a bar... He lost.
Jamaican Church Jokes
Here is a list of funny jamaican church jokes and even better jamaican church puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call someone making trouble in a Jamaican church? A cinnamon
(sound it out)
Comical Jamaican Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about jamaican you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dandelion jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jamaican pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Priest and a Jamaican man are on a plane...
..and as they're taking off, the pilot says over the intercom "folks, I have something to tell you. I cannot fly the plane if someone passes gas; if someone does, I'll pass out and the plane will c**...."
So halfway through the flight, the plane noses forward and goes into a dive. And the Jamaican stands up and screams "Who passed de gas?"
The priest says "how did you know?"
And the Jamaican answers "de scent!"
...I'll show myself out
What do you call a kid who's dad is Jamaican and mom is Chinese?
Rastafriedrice
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman... (long joke)
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a v**... Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ghanaian, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, 2 Africans and you...
walk into a fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group, "but you can't come in here without a Thai."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the difference between Jamaicans and Jewish people?
Their reaction when someone asks if they want to get baked.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a religious Pokemon?
A m**....
What do you call a Jamaican Pokemon?
A Yeahmon.
What is Jamaican Pikachu's favorite dance?
The Polka Mon
Heart jokes
What did one human heart say to the other? I got a heart on
What did one Jamaican heart say to the other? That's a nice beat mon
What is the human hearts favorite kind of shirt? A wife beater
What did the coach say at Heart University? Come on guys let's get pumped
What did the police officer say to the human heart? You're under cardiac arrest
What did the heart say after he was assaulted? Man I sure took a beating
How did the Jamaican meteorologist report the risk of flash flooding?
"Mon, soon."
What did the Rastafarian say to his lady friend?
Jamaican me crazy!!
I've just joined a Jamaican jazz band as a triangle player.
I just stand at the back and ting.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jamaican j**...
How does a Jamaican say "j**..."?
"Yemen"
What do you call a Jamaican motorcycle?
Bob Harley
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Jamaican guy on the internet?
A digimon.
A Jamaican went to the barber.
It was a dreadful experience.
Man waits impatiently at the Jamaican restaurant...
Man: when will my burger be ready!?
Jamaican man: mon soon!
Man: Soon!? I've already been waiting for 45 min—
[both men were killed by a monsoon]
Did you hear about the two Jamaican Turtles at the RNC?
They were just looking for Michelle Bachman.
What did the rastafarian say to the hypnotist
Jamaican me sleepy
What do you call a gay Jamaican guy?
Pokemon
...don't hate me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the Jamaican in Syria?
He got s**... twice.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Jamaican cooking competition?
A j**...
How do you say the name Ray in Jamaican?
Raymond
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do Jamaican's end their prayers?
Ey mon.
What do you call a Jamaican who likes spaghetti?
A Pastafarian.
Today I was given a box of Jamaican hair extensions....
It was dreadful
What do you call a Jamaican gynecologist?
A poke-mon!
Pls don't hurt me.
What did the evil Jamaican spice say?
"I'm Sin-en Mon'"
What did the Jamaican watermelon say to the sprinkler?
Ayy brutha, water mi lawn
What did the Jamaican say was his favourite country?
yea-mon
What's a Jamaican's favorite brand of paint?
Benjammin Moore mon
A Jamaican is sightseeing in Egypt.
A vehicle drives by, beeping its horn. "Coo yah!" he says. "It's tootin' car, mon!"
what does a grape and jamaicans have in common
absolutely nothing
What do you call a French Jamaican?
Lemon
What did the Jamaican who immediately needed corn say?
"EAR ME NOW!"
What did the the Jamaican daddy spice say to his son when he was being bad?
Your a cinnamon
What do you call a Jamaican teacher at Hogwarts?
De mentor.
What did the Jamaican man say when asked why he didn't mind going to jail for stealing the Pikachu card?
I love the pokey, mon.
How do you call a Jamaican mountain?
High ground
Why didn't the Jamaican cut his hair?
He dreaded it.
What did the man ask the Jamaican Chef?
"What Jamaican?"
What did the Jamaican say after winning the barefoot marathon?
"Da trill of victory always betta dan de agony of de feet!"
What do Jamaicans eat when they're on a budget?
Jahmon noodles
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"f**..."
What a Jamaican says when they spot something off in the distance.
What did the Jamaican war hero amputee say to the massage therapist when asked where he wanted to be massaged?
DA FEET IS NADDA OPTION!!
I broke the law in front of a Jamaican selling spices
He said I'm a cinnamon
What do Jamaican Charizards eat in Hawaii?
Poke, mon.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Jamaican guy exhaling deeply?
Simon.
An Englishman saying 'beer can' sounds like...
A Jamaican saying 'bacon'.
fasting.
What a Jamaican calls Sonic the Hedgehog
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What caused the Jamaican to have a s**...?
The bumbabloodclot.
What do you call a Jamaican fish?
Sal mon
What's it called when a Jamaican is scared of death?
Existential dreds.
What do you call a Jamaican that just finished his reggae album?
Ben-jamin
What do Jamaicans eat when they are on vacation in Hawaii?
They eat poke mon!
What did the Jamaican think of Pokemon?
It was pretty Ok-mon.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Jamaican dentist?
A Flosstifarian
What do you call a Jamaican man born in Italy?
Reggae-Toni
I'm very apprehensive about getting my hair cut by a Jamaican barber.
In fact, I'm dreading it.
Why was the Jamaican footballer sad?
He was kicked off his team's rasta
What do you call Bob, the Jamaican scheduler?
The roster man
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Jamaican who goes swimming in Egypt?
In denial
What do you call a Jamaican spear wielding man?
Pokey Mon
How does a jamaican propose?
Marry Ju Wanna?
