Jamaica Jokes
134 jamaica jokes and hilarious jamaica puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about jamaica that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Jamaica Short Jokes
Short jamaica jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The jamaica humour may include short destination jokes also.
- In Jamaica, a slice of pie costs $3.50. In the Bahamas, a slice of pie costs $5.50. These are the pie rates of the caribbean.
- Football game between Jamaica and Ethiopia. Final result? Half the grass eaten, half the grass smoked.
- Groaner Man: My wife and I went to the Caribbean.
Random guy: Jamaica?
Man: No she did it out of her own free will. - "My wife went on holiday to the tropics with her friends." I commented. "Jamaica?" My mate asked.
"No, she went of her own accord." - Pirates of the Caribbean joke A pie in Jamaica is usually 3 dollars. While a pie in the Bahamas is usually 4 dollars.
I know because I have always been a fan of the pie rates of the Caribbean. - my friend and i were talking about a recent holiday i'd been on me: i took my girlfriend to a caribbean island last month
friend: jamaica?
me: no, she volunteered - Officials from Bangkok are attending a business meeting in Jamaica this weekend… They're calling it a black-Thai event.
- If Bob Marley is from Jamaica, then why does he have a song about being German and how he wants to be German with you?
- Two cockney men were talking... The first one says "So my wife sailed to the West Indies last year". The other one asks "Jamaica?". The first man answers "No, she went on her own accord".
- What's the difference between a wind chime from Germany and a wind chime from Jamaica? Not a ting
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Jamaica One Liners
Which jamaica one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with jamaica? I can suggest the ones about only in jamaica and holiday.
- Have you heard about the shampoo crisis in jamaica? It's dreadful
- If my friends and I torrent in Jamaica Does that make us Pirates of the Caribbean?
- How do Jamaica? I don't know, Alaska
- What do they call a list of athletes in Jamaica? A rasta.
- What do you call glass cookware from Jamaica? Pyrex of the Caribbean
- In Jamaica, how do you know if a mango is ripe? Pokémon Go!
- How can you tell if a car is from Jamaica? Check the reggaestration..
- How do you wake up a charizard in Jamaica? You Poke-em, Mon!
- "It's too cold in Jamaica, I won't have any fun." "Not with that latitude!"
- Why should you never mess with birds for Jamaica? Because the chickens are all jerks.
- What is Jamaica's favorite male bird? The mongoose.
- What do you call Gumby's sidekick in Jamaica? Pokemon
- What do you get when you fall asleep in Jamaica on a sunny afternoon? A Red Stripe.
- What do you call a politically powerful shrub in Jamaica? A hegemon.
- Canada has the Canadian goose, what does Jamaica have? The mongoose.
Only In Jamaica Jokes
Here is a list of funny only in jamaica jokes and even better only in jamaica puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Dad joke inc Did you know that in Trinidad and Tobago is costs £2.50 for a pie and in Jamaica it costs £3?
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean. - The Bride of Frankenstein Dr. Frankenstein: I took the Bride Of Frankenstein to the Caribbean last month.
Igor: Jamaica?
Dr. Frankenstein: Yes. - In Trinidad and Tobago a steak pie will cost you $3.25 In Jamaica a steak pie will cost you $3.50
In Barbuda a steak pie will cost you $1.75
And these are the pie rates of the carribean - Man enters pub Sees his friend and mentions to him, missus's away in the Caribbean
Friend asks; Jamaica?
Man replies; no, she went of her own accord - What is Jamaica's favorite TV series? The Walking Dread
- Why are there more bags of white sugar than brown in Jamaica? Because demerara.
- I say, my wife's gone to the Caribbean! *The Caribbean you say?*
Yes, that's right, the Caribbean.
*Jamaica?*
No - she went of her own free will!
BADUM - TSSSHHH! - Which country makes alot of jam? Jamaica
- Dad: Your mother is going to the West Indies soon. Son: Where? Jamaica?
Dad: No, she wanted to go. - Me: my wife and I have decided to spend some time apart and she's gone on holiday to the Carribean to collect her thoughts. Friend: Oh, Jamaica?
Me: no it was her decision actually
Comical Jamaica Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about jamaica you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dreadful jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make jamaica pranks.
What's the earliest joke you can remember? Here's mine:
These two:
"My wife went to the West Indies"
"Jamaica?"
"No, she went of her own accord."
"My wife went to the East Indies"
"Jakarta?"
"No, she went by plane."
An Old Jamaican man lived alone in the country...
He wanted to dig his Yellow Yam and Sweet Potato Garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I won't be able to plant my Yellow Yam and Sweet Potato Garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me....Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son:
Dear Dad, Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies.
Love, Vinnie
At 4 a.m. The next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son:
Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the Yams and Potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Jamaican Snowman
What's a Jamaican snowman's favorite song? ...... Snowoman no cry.
2 Jamaicans are lost in the desert..
After wandering aimlessly for hours, one of the two spots an oasis in the distance. As they draw nearer, the other man spots an odd tree growing at the oasis, a tree with bacon for leaves. He turns to his friend and says "Look man, it's a bacon tree!!". His friend replies " No way man you're hallucinating, that's just a palm tree". The first man leaves his friend and races to the bacon tree as fast as his legs can carry him. But once he reaches the tree, a group of thugs spring out and set upon the lone Jamaican. In the midst of the brawl, the Jamaican shouts to his friend "You were right man, that's no bacon tree: it's a Ham Bush!"
Vacation in Jamaica
Lady goes on vacation to Jamaica. Upon arriving, she meets a black
man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him, 'What
is your name?'
'I can't tell you,' the black man says.
Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his
name is, and he always responds the same, he can't tell her. On her
last night there she asks again 'Can you please tell me your name?'
'I can't tell you my name because you will laugh at me.' says the black man.
'There is no reason for me to laugh at you,' the lady says.
'Fine, my name is Snow!' the black man replies. And the lady bursts
into laughter, and the black man gets mad and says, ' I knew you
would make fun of it'.
The lady replied, 'I'm not making fun of your name. I'm thinking of
my husband who won't believe me when I tell him that I enjoyed 10 inches
of Snow every day in Jamaica.💃🗻🍆
What does a Jamaican toddler say when it goes down a slide?
Wee-m'on.
What is a Jamaicans favorite country to visit?
Yeahman
What did the Jamaican Priest say to the Baker's rolls?
You a cinnamon.
If you find a hamster in Jamaica...
Does that make it a hempster?
What is Jamaican Pikachu's favorite dance?
The Polka Mon
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do fish in Jamaica smoke ?
Sea-w**....
I'll show myself the door.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How are the Jamaican bobsled team and h**... alike?
Neither could finish a race
How did the Jamaican meteorologist report the risk of flash flooding?
"Mon, soon."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jamaican j**...
How does a Jamaican say "j**..."?
"Yemen"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jamaican man's wife dies in Jerusalem
A Jamaican man and his nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem, when the wife suddenly died. The f**... company told the man that it could cost $500, 000 to ship her home to Jamaica or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem. The husband said, "ship her home" shocked, the undertaker asked, but sir why don't you bury her in holy land and save the money? To which the husband replied. A long time ago a man was buried here and 3 days later, he rose from the dead.......I can't take that chance.
A Jamaican went to the barber.
It was a dreadful experience.
Portia To Legalize Gay Marriage In Jamaica
Told my friends I was taking my wife to the Caribbean for our honeymoon
One of them said "Jamaica?"
I said "No, she wanted to go"
What did the Jamaican priest call the guy who was arrested for sealing several tonnes of spices?
A cinna-mon
So the Jamaican said to the Arab..
"Aye where you from? You from tha beach mon?" The Arab replied "Yemen!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jamaica is demanding compensation from the UK for our involvement in the s**... trade!
Shocking, we already paid for them once!
What do jamaicans call raw tuna?
Pokémon
I like your thinking... [LONG]
Little Jim was in class, learning about the Caribbean. The teacher asks Jim, "What is the capital of Jamaica, to which Jim replied "There isn't a capital because all of the Caribbean is territories" his teacher corrected him saying "Jim, Jamaica is actually a country and the answer is Kingston, but I like your thinking." Jim was satisfied with this answer but proceeded to reply "Ok Miss, let me quiz you, I have my hand in my pocket feeling something hard with a head - what is it?" Jim's teacher was disgusted with him and began scolding him when Jim said with a smirk on his face "The answer is a quarter, but I like your thinking"
What did the Jamaican watermelon say to the sprinkler?
Ayy brutha, water mi lawn
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pokemon
The new "s**... tips" guide from Jamaica.
What did the Jamaican say was his favourite country?
yea-mon
How can you tell if someone has a Jamaican accent?
They roll their J's.
A Jamaican is sightseeing in Egypt.
A vehicle drives by, beeping its horn. "Coo yah!" he says. "It's tootin' car, mon!"
What did the Jamaican who immediately needed corn say?
"EAR ME NOW!"
What did the the Jamaican daddy spice say to his son when he was being bad?
Your a cinnamon
What did the Jamaican man say when asked why he didn't mind going to jail for stealing the Pikachu card?
I love the pokey, mon.
Why didn't the Jamaican cut his hair?
He dreaded it.
What did the Jamaican say after winning the barefoot marathon?
"Da trill of victory always betta dan de agony of de feet!"
Why don't Jamaicans eat salmon?
Because it is part mon.
What do Jamaicans eat when they're on a budget?
Jahmon noodles
What did the Jamaican war hero amputee say to the massage therapist when asked where he wanted to be massaged?
DA FEET IS NADDA OPTION!!
What do Jamaican Charizards eat in Hawaii?
Poke, mon.
Pie rates of the Caribbean joke
In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15.
In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95.
In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75.
Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean
We're having a jamaican themed hair day at work this Friday
I'm dreading it already
Why was the Jamaican surprised when he saw a bunch of Transformers flying over his house?
'Cause there were robots in de skies.
Have you heard about how much meat pastries cost in Antigua, Barbados, Colombia, Dominican Republic, Haiti, Honduras, Jamaica, Aruba, Trinidad and Tobago, The Bahamas, Turks and Caicos Islands?
You should have done, they are the pie rates of the Caribbean
A Jamaican guy asks another Jamaican guy...
"Hey mon, do you know what the thing that casts the shadow in a sundial is called?"
The other guy thinks for a moment and then responds: "Gnomon".
What do Jamaicans eat when they are on vacation in Hawaii?
They eat poke mon!
What is a computer screen in Jamaica called?
A MON-itor
What did the Jamaican think of Pokemon?
It was pretty Ok-mon.
Why was the Jamaican footballer sad?
He was kicked off his team's rasta
Did you know you can get a banana pie in Cuba for $2.50 and a banana pie in Jamaica for $1.50?
What are the pie rates of the caribbean?
2$ in the bahama's and $2.50 in Jamaica
How does a jamaican propose?
Marry Ju Wanna?
My wife is moving to the Caribbean
"Jamaica?"
"No Amber Rudd did"
Did you hear about the rat in Jamaica who went around stealing desserts wherever he went?
He was a pie-rat of the Carribean
Me an the wife are retiring to The Caribbean...
Jamaica?
I'll have to now, after today's news.
What do Jamaican Platelets do?
They help your blood clut.
What do you say to a Jamaican that is making you crazy ?
Hey mon Jamaican me crazy!
Please please no gold.
Not OC but I can't find the source.
I just saw the pierates of the Caribbean for the first time.
Apple pie in Jamaica $2.55
Cherry pie in Antigua $4.57
Key Lime Pie in Dominican Republic $3.87
What do you call people who download movies in Jamaica?
Pirates of the Caribbean.
What did the Jamaican baker call his best friend?
Breadrin
Why do Jamaican pilots make really good spies?
"Cos they're always in de' skies mon".
Jamaican word for gay people?
Pokemon
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you are gay in Jamaica you are a:
Pokemon
I went to a Jamaican hairdresser once
It was dreadful
